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Cocoa Krispies Cereal Straws, 7-Eleven Hot Dog Lighters and a Zombie Walk!

by -RoG- on 08/24/2007, 11:28 pm

We're finally getting settled into our new place here in West Hollywood and I'm catching up on a bajillion emails at the moment... not to mention unpacking tons o' boxes too. I'm already liking it here much more, so all is going well with that business. But today I have other business to discuss with you... the business of straws.

Cereal Straws... they're strAWESOME!

Not too long ago, breakfast food companies decided that eating a bowl of cereal was too time consuming for the average joe with a busy schedule. As a result, you now have all sorts of "on-the-go" breakfast options such as cereal bars, pop tarts and more. New to the speedy breakfast club are Kellogg's Cereal Straws. Simply dip 'em in a carton of milk, take a sip and then chow down on your straw. So far I've seen Froot Loops and Cocoa Krispies flavored straws... I chose to try out the later.

Hey! Who put out their cigar in my milk!?
"At home or on-the-go, they're strAWESOME!"

In all honesty, they're not bad at all, but I almost prefer eating them dry as they tend to get soggy real fast. On top of that, sipping the milk up through the straws is weird because they're way thicker than regular straws and obviously more porous. Imagine drinking milk through a cigar (minus the tobacco flavor) and that's pretty much what it feels like. I can't help but think that they're gonna fall apart on me while I'm taking a sip and all of a sudden there will be milk all over the place. Fortunately, the straws are lined on the inside with an extra layer of chocolate, so I guess that helps prevent the milk from seeping through. I was also hoping that the milk would taste like chocolate milk when drinking it through the straw, but it was just like regular ol' milk. The serving size is 3 straws, but that's nowhere near as filling as a bowl of cereal if you ask me. So yeah, while it's definitely something you should try out at least once, it's not a breakfast replacement by any means. At the very least, they do serve as a pretty good snack.

So what cereal brands would you like to see in straw format? I could see Frosted Flakes possibly being good, but I doubt any of the marshmallow cereals would ever work as straws... unless they somehow lined the straw innards with marshmallows? Mmmm, Boo Berry straws.

In other food related news, while it was sad watching the Kwik-E-Mart signs return to their former 7-Eleven selves, I do have some other good news from everybody's favorite convenience store. Feast your eyes on this:

Take a Big Bite out of this spicy number and you'll need a burn unit to treat your tongue.

Yes my friends, your eyes do not deceive you... 7-Eleven is now selling hot dog shaped lighters to help promote their "Big Bite" dogs. I've you've ever wanted the joy of possessing a flaming wiener without the agony of contracting a STD, then this the item for you! Simply pull down on one side of the bun while pushing up on the other and a mighty flame will burst from the tip of your hot dog. I don't even smoke but I had to buy this thing... it's easily the best lighter I've seen in ages. And yes, it is refillable, so no need to worry about it becoming useless once the lighter fluid runs out. Tell me the flaming wiener doesn't absolutely rule.

Last but not least, I've been asked to organize a Zombie Walk here in Los Angeles next week, so if you live in the area, drop me an email if you'd like to be a part of it! But it's not a normal walk, this one is gonna be on an episode of CSI: NY! I'll share more details on it later, but to say the least, this is gonna be one hell of a cool way to kick off I-Mockery's 2007 Halloween season! Hope you guys are ready for 2 full months of monster mocking madness, because you won't find any other place on the web that completely immerses itself in all things Halloween quite like we do! As always, if you guys have some Halloweeny stuff you'd like us to cover this season, just drop me an email and I'll keep it in mind.

28 comments

Guest

Connor (Guest) on 08/24/2007 11:57 pm

Flaming hotdog? GENIUS I TELLZ YA! Anyway, if I had transportation, I'd be to that zombie walk faster than you could say "BRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSS" which takes a long time because you have to say it all slow like a zombie. But unfortunately, I have no driver's license. Oh well. Maybe next year.



Guest

Aks (Guest) on 08/25/2007 2:17 am

I'll watch CSI just to see that. Seriously, that's killer.



Guest

arg_zombies (Guest) on 08/25/2007 5:30 am

DAMNIT I NEED THAT LIGHTER AND I WILL HAPPILY FLY TO AMERICA JUST TO BUY IT

How about a Sugar Puffs straw?
It wouldn't taste all that great but it would be fun seeing the handiwork gone into threading individual sugar puffs together XP



Guest

Sandy (Guest) on 08/25/2007 8:21 am

Cocoa Crispies? Whatever happened to Coco Pops? And where is Coco Monkey? What are Snap, Crackle and Pop doing there?

Crazy Americans!



Guest

Ivy (Guest) on 08/25/2007 8:48 am

I don't smoke either but that lighter is awsome!

We bought Fruit Loops cereal straws a while back and they are gross.



Guest

Teh-Suxx0r (Guest) on 08/25/2007 12:25 pm

We've had those straws for a good bit over here in the UK.



Guest

Jen (Guest) on 08/25/2007 1:23 pm

Gah, my boyfriend hates those straws. They look pretty rubbish.
And I can't wait for the Halloween celebrations to begin! I love Halloween here on I-Mockery!



Guest

Ian (Guest) on 08/25/2007 9:29 pm

Hey ROG you ready for the new remake of Halloween and i cant wait for Halloween on I mockery. Are you going to do anything for Halloween the movie besides Season of the Witch.



Guest

Steve (Guest) on 08/25/2007 10:43 pm

An Los Angeles zombie walk will be shown on CSI:New York? GENIUS!



Guest

ninjawolf (Guest) on 08/25/2007 11:58 pm

I'm glad the Halloween season is ready to kick off here, but I feel that it won't be quiet the same as the past couple of years when we'd get a new piece for Halloween every weekday for the entire two months. But now that you're putting up new content on most weekdays now it won't be the quiet the same. Oh well, it'll still kick ass.



Guest

-RoG- (Guest) on 08/26/2007 12:17 am

Sandy, Cocoa Krispies are the same as Rice Krispies, just chocolate flavored, so that's why Snap, Crackle & Pop are on the box.

Ivy, yeah I heard the Froot Loops straws weren't very good.

Teh-Suxx0r, are they the same flavor or do you guys have different cereal straws in the UK?

Jen, hehe did your boyfriend have the Froot Loops kind? The Cocoa Krispies ones aren't bad really. Anyway, glad you're looking forward to Halloween here on I-Mockery... hope it lives up to your expectations!

Ian, yep definitely interested in the Halloween remake. I'm not a fan of remakes usually, but I'm hoping this one breathes new life into the movies. When they had Michael Myers killing people during an internet webcast reality show thing, I knew the series had it rock bottom. As for whether or not I'm gonna write anything about the Halloween movies this year other than Season of the Witch, it's hard to say right now. I generally like to cover lesser known/appreciated movies, but I still might cover one of the Halloween movies for the Greatest Horror Movie Moments section of the site this season.

Steve, hehe yeah well that's pretty normal for shows and movies to be filmed in other places than where they're supposed to actually take place.

Ninjawolf, what are you talkin about? You will get a new piece every weekday for the entire two months... that's what we always do. Are you saying that because now that we update the site constantly during the non-Halloween season that's going to somehow lessen the radness of Halloween season here? My head asplode.



Guest

Nick (Guest) on 08/26/2007 3:58 am

Awesome a televised zombie walk! Even if it is for sucky CSI, its still awesome! WHO DO YOU GET KILLED, ROG!!! WHO!



Guest

Zack (Guest) on 08/26/2007 4:22 am

I bought one of the awesome hot dog lighters myself. I'm gonna smoke "something" with it that's for sure...



Guest

Sandy (Guest) on 08/26/2007 12:08 pm

-RoG-, I can't believe you poor Americans don't have the psycho shouting Coco Monkey anymore. He's still well and truly alive and pepped up on steroids over here!

The UK version: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/36/Coco_Pops_Straws.jpg



Guest

Teh-Suxx0r (Guest) on 08/26/2007 3:18 pm

They're the same except we gots a monkey on the box. The serving and everything else is the same.

We also have milkshake straws over here, they're not edible but they have stuff inside them that makes the milk taste like either strawberry or chocolate.



Guest

Marti (Guest) on 08/27/2007 12:06 am

How about "Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter flavored or Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Cereal straws? Now THAT would be awsome, my friend. RoG. I have been reading your site for a year now and constantly recommend it enough to others, especially during Halloween! Absolutely LOVE the site!



Guest

J. Tithonus Pednaud (Guest) on 08/27/2007 3:02 pm

On the topic of Zombies my friend over at ZombiePortraits.com, Rob Sacchetto, has posted a free online EC/Tales From the Crypt style zombie comic.

zombieportraits.com/2001/08/blog-post.html



Guest

ninjawolf (Guest) on 08/27/2007 3:39 pm

What I was meaning was that sense daily updates are so common now Halloween will seem a little less special sense it won't be like theres some sudden burst of constant updates to the site.



Guest

Tim (Guest) on 08/27/2007 5:09 pm

I bet a Peanut Butter Crunch straw would be pretty OK



Guest

adam martin (Guest) on 08/27/2007 6:30 pm

I'd like to see an article on pumpkin carving. Digging the "brains" from the pumpkin was always (still is) my favorite part.



Guest

Mia (Guest) on 08/27/2007 9:47 pm

This...

Is...

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Guest

Jen (Guest) on 08/28/2007 4:59 pm

I probably should've said, but I'm from the UK too. We don't have Fruit Loops, or your beloved Boo Berry :( They took away our Lucky Charms too!
And here are the ones my boyfriend got; Nesquik Magic Straws. About as magic as a bag of crap, supposedly.



Guest

Martin Santos (Guest) on 08/29/2007 11:58 am

Hi Rog,
In response you your melrose trade center... you can use old comic-con badges. Ive been using '05 one and i still got into the "con" last month.



Guest

Lost Pirate (Guest) on 08/31/2007 7:58 am

You could do an entire feature on the variety of lighters they try to sell at convienience stores. I've seen everything from ironic (fire extinguishers) to just plain wrong (flaming boobies?)



Guest

Red Hawk (Guest) on 08/31/2007 3:25 pm

Hi, Rog,
Big fan of the site, been checking it out off and on for a couple years now. Just wanted to mention that we DID used to have Coco the Monkey on Cocoa Crispies here (even to the extent of having a real monkey in the ads for it at one time), but I dunno why they put SK&P on the boxes in recent years. Keep up the great work!



Guest

Ian (Guest) on 09/01/2007 12:46 pm

when does halloween on this start



Guest

rodge (Guest) on 09/06/2007 1:01 pm

Oh, I totally love those cereal straws!
Yummyyy. Why don't they try a edible spoon?

btw.. you can get some cool cereal samples at cereal.com



Guest

Ass Master (Guest) on 01/30/2008 5:55 am

owe my fucking God how gay and sexy and retarded is that shit I think I hav eot fart really loud Than I might just cry tell I puke , and my eyes crack open and penis fizzy comes out. Yummmm



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