How to trick girls into thinking they like you?

[James]

If you're not attractive and/or you're not rich, you have nothing going for you to get a girl immediately interested in you. And without that, it gets set in her mind that you're just a friend.

Now, there's got to be psychological methods to kind of brainwash and/or hypnotize the girl into developing feelings for you. So, what are they?

[Slinky Ferret]

If you can make a girl laugh and prove you're not a bastard in the end they will fall for you. Maybe after screwing the rest of your class but hey! :) As I said before, girls go after bastards and then end up marrying the good lads.

[James]

No. Anyone have some advice that works?

[Slinky Ferret]

>: There are girls that aren't shallow. It just takes time to find them.

[Snatchtastic]

Roofees and Vodka.

[da blob]

Rape.

[Slinky Ferret]

You can't force someone to have feelings for you. Or rather you can't force someone to love you. But I think you can influence they way they like you by subtle ways. I've had friends that I ended up going out with that I had previously regarded as just friends. If you like a girl spend more time with her, make her laugh, be there for her and in the end it will pay off.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

>: There are girls that aren't shallow. It just takes time to find them.

They must all live in the UK....:(

except Doopa and Glowbelly, but they're taken already....
and Chimp, but he's a whore....

[Dole]

"They must all live in the UK" -I know of at least one, but she's taken. :posh

James: tell them you are held in some regard on a prominent message board. That is bound to do it.

[Matt Harty]

Always look for oppurtunities to help them with a problem. If they look sad or something help them fix it. Give advice and stuff, they'll talk to you more often. And touch alot, not grabbing ass but flirting.

[Dole]

Thats also how to be jesus

[Anonymous]

lol :<

[AChimp]

and Chimp, but he's a whore....
You gotta treat me right, though. >:

[kellychaos]

Follow the "be helpful" advice but not to the point of being kittywhipped and then, at the first available opportunity, attack and degrade their self-esteem to the point where they become totally co-dependent ... but do it in steps and don't make it obvious.

[Slinky Ferret]

>: Yes men are all bastards underneath!

[Big McLargehuge]

HEY GUYS THERE IS THIS GIRL AND I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER BUT SHE IS ALL LIKE "LEAVE ME ALONE" AND "I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE COME OUT RIGHT NOW" HOW DO I CONVICE HER THAT GOD SENT HER TO BEAR MY CHILD?

[da blob]

Rape.

[Big McLargehuge]

That didn't work the first time what makes you think that it will work now :(?

[Terra]

Rape usually works for ONE person.

[Bobo Adobo]

Always look for oppurtunities to help them with a problem. If they look sad or something help them fix it. Give advice and stuff, they'll talk to you more often. And touch alot, not grabbing ass but flirting.

But thats what gay guys do.

[Perndog]

If you like a girl spend more time with her, make her laugh, be there for her and in the end it will pay off.

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

[Terra]

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

Oh good. Somebody's nuts have just descended out of his body cavity long enough for his mind to dwell upon the mysteries of the female id.

We need more experts in this very area around here.

[AChimp]

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

WTF? Slinky gives good advice. I'd rather be a nice guy and face the possibility of never scoring than stoop to being an asshole to attract women. :(

[Terra]

I just fell in love with this monkey....

And Slinky ferret too....

[Schimid]

You'd fall in love with a pile of leaves if I raked it for you.

[rainbowbrite]

I know I would :love

[Terra]

You'd fall in love with a pile of leaves if I raked it for you.

Only if you buried youself six feet under it, goosefart.

[maggiekarp]

Necrophilia? :confused


I don't really have any good advice for this sort of thing... I mean, if I'm lonely, I'll be sad for a while and then when I stop being sad someone falls in my lap, kinda.

Then again, I've only had two relationships so far...


Be yourself, minus asshatness, I guess.

[James]

WTF? Slinky gives good advice. I'd rather be a nice guy and face the possibility of never scoring than stoop to being an asshole to attract women. :(

Who the fuck is saying anything about acting like an asshole? I'm talking about psychology here. I know there's certain things you can do to help put females into the mindset of being interested in you, but I just don't know them all that well.

It works the other way, too. Like, girls can put it into a guy's head by touching their arm alot or some shit like that.

[AChimp]

I was talking to Perndog, but while we're on the topic of you again, why do you worry about this so much? There's something called TRYING TOO HARD.

Of course, if you really want women to be interested in you, everyone who's anyone know's the secret is Axe Effect.

[Perndog]

Oh good. Somebody's nuts have just descended out of his body cavity long enough for his mind to dwell upon the mysteries of the female id.

We need more experts in this very area around here.

Of course, I'm also the one who's not really into women. Figure that out if you like.

[The Retro Kat]

goosefart.


LIEK, OMG, NOW IM NOT GUNNA SECKS YOU, AND 9 INCHES BY THE WAY >:

[Terra]

:rolleyes

[rainbowbrite]

Is james' sig. reffering to you terra?

I must've missed that

[Terra]

Yep. I've been immortalized. :)

[James]

I was talking to Perndog, but while we're on the topic of you again, why do you worry about this so much? There's something called TRYING TOO HARD.

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

[Black Flag]

i think meeting girls who don't sell naked pictures of themselves on the internet is the first step.

[sadie]

try this. (http://www.adulthoodwonderful.com/Seduce%20Women/make_women_fall_in_love.htm) :lol

[Jixby Phillips]

**** /// [b]KILL YOURSELD\\\ ****

[Perndog]

James: http://www.doubleyourdating.com

I have geek friends who swear by this guy's work. They're still geeks but now they get laid, and about a third of the chicks I see them with actually meet my own standards. One out of three winners ain't bad compared to nothing.

If you don't want to pay for the book, it can be downloaded on Kazaa, and he also has columns on some dating advice site. Just search for David DeAngelo on Google.

Good luck.

[The Fifth Man]

If you want girls to worship you, become rich and famous and
get looots o' plastic surgery so you're superhumanly hot.

Otherwise, listen to the ferret and the monkey. They know what
they're talking about.

[DamnthatDavid]

The Animals are right. Must be instinctive.

Treat women as equals, weaker equals that you must help out often, but equals.

[Slinky Ferret]

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

So you want an obsessive girlfriend then. One that will become incredibly jealous when you even look at another female, not to mention attempt to read any emails and txts from any female, jump to erratic conclusions and generally make your life a living hell?

It will start out fun, but deteriate into the above. Trust me you don't want a girl like that. All girls can become like that especially when they have been hurt badly in the past. I stand guilty myself, I've been like that for a while.

I had a friend who was so in love with me that he carved my name into his arm. He was my best friend, but I just could never view him as anything else. One reason was his insistance to go out with me. He would phone me up everyday and ask! :/

The whole key to getting into a relationship with a girl is timing and not being over eager. If a girl can learn to trust you, she can learn to love you.

[Slinky Ferret]

If you like a girl spend more time with her, make her laugh, be there for her and in the end it will pay off.

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

:/ I may not be every girl in the world, but I do know that I prefer to have a relationship with men that make me laugh and are good friends rather than the ones who have stunning looks and macho ego. I've fallen for more men who were there for me than ones I've met randomly.

[Dole]

James: This has been said to you a bazillion times, but maybe if you went out in to the world and werent reliant on meeting a girl on the net it would be easier.

[James]

James: This has been said to you a bazillion times, but maybe if you went out in to the world and werent reliant on meeting a girl on the net it would be easier.

This internet joke shit is really fucking old. When did I even say anything about the internet here, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. No shut the fuck up with your faggoty internet cracks and give me some actual advice.

Slinky, I keep forgetting you're a female. That automatically discredits anything you have to say. You're just a lying bitch, trying to cover up the truth with "Oh just be friends. I like friends blah blah blah." You're too fucking afraid to admit the truth about what women really want, and want to keep up this image of wholesome movie goodness bullshit of a happy ending for the good guys. So fucking shove it up your English ass and just fucking come out with the facts.

You're all worse than me. Fuck.

[AChimp]

I still don't see what you're whining about. You can get a date with Palmela Handerson anytime you want.

[Terra]

It's not hard to see why the women are just queuing up to your front door, James. :)

First of all, the ferret has great advice. You ought to just fucking take the advice from a "woman" for once in your miserable fucking existence. You might actually get further on down the road in the romantic vector, that is if you can get over yourself long enough to acknowledge the fact it just MIGHT take some sensitivity on your part to do so. The very fact that you want to "trick" somebody into liking you has all the ingredients of a Jerry Seinfeld farce. This is psychology gone berserk.

What women really REALLY like is somebody who is sensitive, caring and tender. THIS is the big mystery. From these three traits ALL good things flow. :)

But you probably will never get it. Your idea of making love to a woman is to beat the shit out of her with a baseball bat and then assfucking her into a coma. In some cultures that might be fine but your in the wrong hemisphere for that shit.

[sspadowsky]

I was talking to Perndog, but while we're on the topic of you again, why do you worry about this so much? There's something called TRYING TOO HARD.

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

:lol

Careful what you wish for, Jimmy. I mean like a "monkey's paw" warning. BeeeeeeeWAAAARRRRREEEE!

I normally stay the hell out of this forum, because it's mostly comprised of fruitcakes, but I'll throw my hat in the ring on this one.

Stop fucking worrying about it. Having a woman does not make you a great person, nor a fulfilled person, and it definitely won't make you a happy person. Not on under terms you're dictating. And if you get one under those terms, it won't make you happy, because you'll find out it's not the answer to all of life's problems.

So forget about it. Play video games and drink beer and go to school and do all that normal shit, and a chick will fall into your lap when you're not expecting it. Put it out of your mind. Think of this exchange between Val Kilmer and Robert DeNiro in the movie Heat:

"When are you gonna get an old lady?"
"When I get around to it."

'Be like Bobby D.' This is your mantra. Now shut up, already.

[Dole]

Jamesikins, read your reply and every topic you have ever posted in this forum, and maybe you can piece together the teensy weensy clues as to why you may perhaps have been less than successful with the ladies.


You can insult me and ferret all you want (I suggest a specific thread set aside for this), but you are the one seriously seeking advice on your lovelife from a messageboard full of virtual strangers to you.

You asked for advice, and I stand by mine lad. Now think on :posh

[maggiekarp]

Wait a second, he's not actually looking for love, just a slave girl...


Jedi Mind Trick, silly :posh

[executioneer]

jamesman this is going to sound cliche but you have to learn to love yourself before girls are going to love you :(

-willie

[Mike]

I may not be every girl in the world, but I do know that I prefer to have a relationship with men that make me laugh and are good friends rather than the ones who have stunning looks and macho ego.

So like every girl in the world you like hanging out with guys who are funny and friendly even if they're awkward and have arms like emaciated chicken legs - but would you ask them to fuck you and would you be proud about referring to one as your boyfriend IN PUBLIC?

This link has been posted before, but
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[Big McLargehuge]

Hey James, you are a lost cause. I don't even know you and i know that you will die alone. Give up. Just give up.

[Perndog]

It's not hard to see why the women are just queuing up to your front door, James. :)

First of all, the ferret has great advice. You ought to just fucking take the advice from a "woman" for once in your miserable fucking existence. You might actually get further on down the road in the romantic vector, that is if you can get over yourself long enough to acknowledge the fact it just MIGHT take some sensitivity on your part to do so. The very fact that you want to "trick" somebody into liking you has all the ingredients of a Jerry Seinfeld farce. This is psychology gone berserk.

What women really REALLY like is somebody who is sensitive, caring and tender. THIS is the big mystery. From these three traits ALL good things flow. :)

But you probably will never get it. Your idea of making love to a woman is to beat the shit out of her with a baseball bat and then assfucking her into a coma. In some cultures that might be fine but your in the wrong hemisphere for that shit.

cough BULLSHIT cough

It's true, women do REALLY like somebody who is sensitive, caring, and tender. Who will listen to them talk about their problems with their BOYFRIENDS.

Terra and all other girls, listen to me. You give poor dorks like James serious emotional problems by feeding them this sort of stuff. Every lonely teenage boy who doesn't have the skills to play the game built in asks people like you for help and you just give him a good shove farther in the wrong direction.

Yes, sensitivity and caring are important in a relationship. But there has to BE a relationship first. Ever hear (or say) the phrase, "you're so sweet, but I just don't like you like that"? For a male to be successful with women, he needs them to like him "like that" first and worry about sensitivity afterward. Women LIKE tenderness but they are not ATTRACTED to it, and the lonely guys need to figure out what women are ATTRACTED to in order to get anywhere. Women are ATTRACTED to challenges (he doesn't seem to like me, but I'll make him notice me!), risks (he's kind of dangerous, and that turns me on!), and confidence (he doesn't seem like he needs a woman, but I'll change his mind!).

When girls and boys start noticing each other when they're kids, what to they do? Tease each other. The nice guys stop by the time they get to high school because they're taught how women "want" to be treated. The guys who get laid in high school just keep acting the same way with girls they did in sixth grade.

Okay, I'm done.

[Slinky Ferret]

Nightclubs over here (well especially in my town) are full of people getting laid no matter what they look like. Its the alcohol that fuels the chaos.

But if James wants to get a girl I think what I've said is correct and I stand by it, but I think I should add that what pern says is also right. The ones that are a challenge are the ones that get the girls - at the moment. But I do believe that in 10 years a role reversal tends to happen and the girls search for the decent lads, after being totally screwed over by the bastards.

[da blob]

evolution wants you to mate with the dominant individuals to have the best genes available i.e. those who will ensure your progeny the best survival rate.

[Slinky Ferret]

>: I don't think James has what it takes, he keeps complaining.

ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE?!

[The One and Only...]

If Pern's criteria were correct, I should be getting pelted with pussy.

challenges (he doesn't seem to like me, but I'll make him notice me!)

I rarely put forth any effort in getting a girl, even when I think I have a decent chance.

risks (he's kind of dangerous, and that turns me on!)

Half the people in my grade think I'm going to kill all of them because of the music that I listen to. It doesn't get much more "dangerous" than that.

confidence (he doesn't seem like he needs a woman, but I'll change his mind!)

Considering that I'm a loner by nature, I barely appear to need anyone, let alone a woman by my side.

I'm also something of a cold fish, which knocks sensitivity out of the ball park. Top it off with my uber-cock, attractiveness, and intelligence, and I should be the alpha male.

But I'm not.

Now, granted, I do know some sophomores who appear somewhat interested, and I've noticed the occasional glances from freshmen in the hallways, but that's it. No girlfriend - no nothing.

So, Pern, how do you explain my case?

[da blob]

shitheaditis.

[Big McLargehuge]

and you are like 12 so women aren't really looking to get laid at this point. BUT JUST WAIT TILL YOU GET A CAR ;)

[Anonymous]

Oao, you actually have to hang out with the girls too.

[glowbelly]

there is no magic psychology that will make a gal like you. they either do or they don't.

if even a smidgen of the attitude you are displaying here, james, is serious, then you will never find someone to like you. you are coming across as incredibly unlikeable right now. you are being a whiny, insensitive, selfish, baby with extremely low self-esteem.

fix yourself first, then try to find someone who can tolerate you.

i wish you a ton of luck.

[Pub Lover]

you are being a whiny, insensitive, selfish, baby with extremely low self-esteem.

Well maybe I like being like that. >:

[James]

But I do believe that in 10 years a role reversal tends to happen and the girls search for the decent lads, after being totally screwed over by the bastards.

Ah, that will be a magical day. When I'm 30 years old, the girl of my dreams will finally say, "You've always been a great friend, so I might as well settle for you, now that I've been with everyone else."

[Schimid]

Dude, I kinda used to be in the same thing...what you have to do is just try to forget about it, if you can. Your self-esteem'll be able to come through if your mind is off not having a girl, and they'll see you as more than what you're seeming to be right now.

Just try not to worry about having a girlfriend so much and one'll just fall into your lap.

Then again, this advice might only work for me. I don't know how old James is, for one thing. I'm required to go to school and so are about two-hundred attractive girls. If you don't go to school then it might make it a little harder since you don't see the same person every day and you actually have to make an effort to hunt for them.

But what do I know I'm just a kid :(

[Slinky Ferret]

:/ Not all girls are sluts. But I think what glow said is straight to the point. The whole love yourself thing is important. If you're not happy with yourself how can anyone else be happy with you?

Love tends to sneak up on you, maybe there are girls that like you but your bad vibes turn them off. You are still young, have fun and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about the whole girl thing, it will happen eventually, I'm sure.

[James]

I'm surprised this thread has gone three pages without Proto or Helm or Wreck giving their two cents. What good is one of my threads in this forum without them telling me off?

[Perndog]

If Pern's criteria were correct, I should be getting pelted with pussy.

challenges (he doesn't seem to like me, but I'll make him notice me!)

I rarely put forth any effort in getting a girl, even when I think I have a decent chance.


You have to get her attention first, champ, and be interesting enough for her to be bothered by your indifference.


risks (he's kind of dangerous, and that turns me on!)

Half the people in my grade think I'm going to kill all of them because of the music that I listen to. It doesn't get much more "dangerous" than that.

Listening to even the most obscene death metal does not qualify as dangerous. Getting in fights, breaking rules, or if you want to skip that route (I do), being (or seeming) unreliable/unpredictable, having dangerous hobbies, etc.

confidence (he doesn't seem like he needs a woman, but I'll change his mind!)

Considering that I'm a loner by nature, I barely appear to need anyone, let alone a woman by my side.

Loner = shy. Shy = antithesis of confident.

Guy who talks to the girls freely, easily, and casually = confident.

I'm also something of a cold fish, which knocks sensitivity out of the ball park. Top it off with my uber-cock, attractiveness, and intelligence, and I should be the alpha male.

Girls like sex or at least sexiness. Cold fish or someone who doesn't care about sex at all = icky nerd. Balance, dude.

At your age, intelligence means nothing to girls, except the ugly ones. And physical attractiveness only matters until you open your mouth; there are lots of ugly guys out there who get laid constantly.

Did I explain your case well enough?

[Perndog]

But I do believe that in 10 years a role reversal tends to happen and the girls search for the decent lads, after being totally screwed over by the bastards.

...unless the decent lads learn how to play the game at this age and hook up with the hotties while they're still young.

What James said is exactly right: When I'm 30 years old, the girl of my dreams will finally say, "You've always been a great friend, so I might as well settle for you, now that I've been with everyone else."

So when you meet the girl of your dreams, don't become friends. Make it clear from the moment you meet that you are interested in dating her. If she has a boyfriend, unless you have a plan to break them up, don't spend a lot of time with her until they do, or you will be overlooked for some guy she meets two days afterward.

[maggiekarp]

Don't hang out too much with a girl right after a break up, though. You'll just be a rebound :/

[thebiggameover]

star a band.

i am ulgy and my music sucked, but i couldn't walk out my front door without tripping over pussy. it was great. i'm trying to start another one, so i can get laid again...
:)

[Jixby Phillips]

I SAY THIS BECAUSE CURRENTLY YOU MOST LIEKLY DOING THE OPPOSITE.

THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A NERD AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND GIRLS.

I WILL EXPLAIN THEM TO YOU, STARTING WITH THE BASICS.

1. GIRLS LIKE TO WEAR THINGS WITH NO LEGS.

2. THE SMALLER SOMETHING IS, THE CUTER IT IS, THIS IS WHY ON DATES I PRETEND TO BE REALLY TINY AND TALK IN A SERIES OF SQUEEKS.

3. GIRLS TAKE THERE CLOTHES OFF AT THE DROP OF A HAT ONCE PRESENTED WITH A FLORAL ARRANGEMENT.

4. GIRLS TAKE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING YOU SAY LITERALLY... LITERALLY

5. GIRLS FIND IT HARD TO MAKE SENSE OF MACHINES THAT DO NOT ASSIST IN THE PREPARATION OR CONSUMPTION OF FOOD.

6. GIRLS ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING THAT IS NOT DESIGNED BY OR FOR CHILDREN.

7. SOMETIMES GIRLS CAN SLAP EACH OTHER WITH THE HANDS.

8. GIRLS ARE KNOWN TO USE THE TOILET FOR REASONS OTHER THAN THE EXPRESS PURPOSES OF UNRINATION OR DEFFACATION.

9. GIRLS SUFFER FROM A VISUAL DEFECT THAT MAKES DOGGIES AND KITTIES APPEAR AS PEOPLE.

10. A GIRL CAN NEVER BE TOOO SKINNY, UNLESS OF COURSE
THAT GIRL IS NOT YOU

[maggiekarp]

5. GIRLS FIND IT HARD TO MAKE SENSE OF MACHINES THAT DO NOT ASSIST IN THE PREPARATION OR CONSUMPTION OF FOOD.

6. GIRLS ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING THAT IS NOT DESIGNED BY OR FOR CHILDREN.


>:

Everything else, however, is surprisingly accurate.

[The Retro Kat]

WANNA SEX? LET'S SEX.

[The Fifth Man]

Y'know, there's actually quite a bit of good stuff in this thread.
Paste most of it together on one page and you pretty much have
how it is.

The bottom line is: Most people, male or female, are
shallow and make stupid decisions. All you can do is hope you
end up with someone that's worth their breath somewhere
down the line. And hope that you don't fuck it up with them.

[The One and Only...]

You have to get her attention first, champ, and be interesting enough for her to be bothered by your indifference.

I do get their attention. I don't know how, but I do get it.

Listening to even the most obscene death metal does not qualify as dangerous. Getting in fights, breaking rules, or if you want to skip that route (I do), being (or seeming) unreliable/unpredictable, having dangerous hobbies, etc.

That doesn't explain the killings that people suspect of me.

Loner = shy. Shy = antithesis of confident.

Guy who talks to the girls freely, easily, and casually = confident.

Umm... no. Loner as in people annoy the shit out of me.

I do talk to girls freely, easily, and casually. I just don't go out of my way to do it.

Girls like sex or at least sexiness. Cold fish or someone who doesn't care about sex at all = icky nerd. Balance, dude.

I don't think you understand what I meant by cold fish. I don't display many emotions, but that doesn't mean I don't care about sex.

[Mike]

So like every girl in the world you like hanging out with guys who are funny and friendly even if they're awkward and have arms like emaciated chicken legs - but would you ask them to fuck you and would you be proud about referring to one as your boyfriend IN PUBLIC?

Well would you, Slinky?

[Anonymous]

Oao. You're a shy, anti-social nerd. There really isn't any way to justify it.

I mean, you could go, 'The sheer amount of snack cakes I inhale obviously says that I don't care about the state of my well-being, my parents' funds, or even my cardiovascular system. This makes me dangerous to myself, and probably even to other people. I'm a man of mystery.'

No. You're just a roly-poly little man whose only female relationship is with Miss Hostess.

[The One and Only...]

I'd take you seriously if it were true.

[Matt Harty]

Oao. You're a shy, anti-social nerd. There really isn't any way to justify it.

[Slinky Ferret]

So like every girl in the world you like hanging out with guys who are funny and friendly even if they're awkward and have arms like emaciated chicken legs - but would you ask them to fuck you and would you be proud about referring to one as your boyfriend IN PUBLIC?

Well would you, Slinky?

Well Mike, I've had boyfriends of all types and yes I've been out with some absolutely gorgous boys and some er how can I put this, well they were not good looking at all. I don't really care what other people think of my boyfriends looks. I try to look beyond the outside to the person underneath. If someone has personality thats what really attracts me, its not looks that turn me on, its the "small talk".

[Matt Harty]

I tried that, and once they're personality starts changing, which it will, all you'll have to look at is their ugly face.

[Perndog]

I do get their attention. I don't know how, but I do get it.

Then take heed of the "be interesting" part, and not in a weird nerdly freaky way.

Listening to even the most obscene death metal does not qualify as dangerous. Getting in fights, breaking rules, or if you want to skip that route (I do), being (or seeming) unreliable/unpredictable, having dangerous hobbies, etc.

That doesn't explain the killings that people suspect of me.

If you don't get the difference between the good kind of dangerous and the creepy kind, you're an utterly lost cause. If people even jokingly suspect you of killings, you are the creepy kind and this is an enormous obstacle to your love life. Trust me.

Umm... no. Loner as in people annoy the shit out of me.

I do talk to girls freely, easily, and casually. I just don't go out of my way to do it.

If people annoy the shit out of you, why are you so interested in picking up a girl?

And if any of your threads about reading signals were serious, all indications are that you do not talk to girls easily and casually or at least do not give that appearance. If we get that impression over the Internet, you can bet the ladies get it in person.

[quote]I don't think you understand what I meant by cold fish. I don't display many emotions, but that doesn't mean I don't care about sex.[/quote}

I understood perfectly. You don't outwardly display that you are interested in sex. From your self-description, regardless of what's going on in your head, you act more like a walking corpse than a vibrant, exciting, and attractive male. "Cold fish" is never a descriptor that can be seen in a positive light, and if you can apply it to yourself, your problem should be too obvious to need anyone's advice.

You're in high school. Watch the jocks. If you want to get laid, act like them. If you want an intelligent, interesting female companion, it's not hard to make friends with girls. If you want a worthwhile companion who will also have sex with you, don't even bother trying until you get to college. It'll take more time than you have before graduation to change your attitude, let alone your rapidly crystallizing reputation. My personality changed somewhere around 10th grade but the girls at my school always hung on to their impression of me from 7th grade (they still do, which is why I don't try and date girls I went to high school with). That's how it works.

[Mike]

Ok, slinky. If you aren't lying, then you are very rare. Your advice applies to such a small percentage of the population that it's not even worth mentioning.

[The One and Only...]

If people annoy the shit out of you, why are you so interested in picking up a girl?

Not all people annoy, just many of them. It's not as if I lack any friends. What I meant by loner is that I don't seem to need much human contact, largely in part because I generally avoid social gatherings.

And if any of your threads about reading signals were serious, all indications are that you do not talk to girls easily and casually or at least do not give that appearance. If we get that impression over the Internet, you can bet the ladies get it in person.

Perhaps I do put off that image, but it could only be because I never initiate a conversation with them. Except the girl I sit next to in science, but that's because I sit next to her. That class is so boring that I have to talk to someone.

I understood perfectly. You don't outwardly display that you are interested in sex. From your self-description, regardless of what's going on in your head, you act more like a walking corpse than a vibrant, exciting, and attractive male. "Cold fish" is never a descriptor that can be seen in a positive light, and if you can apply it to yourself, your problem should be too obvious to need anyone's advice.

I believe I misunderstood what cold fish means, although I would have to say that it is an accurate description of how I appear to the vast majority. The exception, of course, may be the girl in science.

Although I would like to ask you - if a few girls ask you to sit by them (another girl left, leaving an empty seat) in class, all the while telling another guy not to sit there, would you consider it flirting? If so, would you please explain to me why I have such an easier time with the sophomores than with the freshmen?

You're in high school. Watch the jocks. If you want to get laid, act like them. If you want an intelligent, interesting female companion, it's not hard to make friends with girls. If you want a worthwhile companion who will also have sex with you, don't even bother trying until you get to college. It'll take more time than you have before graduation to change your attitude, let alone your rapidly crystallizing reputation. My personality changed somewhere around 10th grade but the girls at my school always hung on to their impression of me from 7th grade (they still do, which is why I don't try and date girls I went to high school with). That's how it works.

Right now, I just want my life to quit being such an endless cliche. It's driving me nuts.

[Schimid]

...largely in part because I generally avoid social gatherings.

That's it, you fag.

EDIT - Hold on, let me elaborate.

Basically what you're saying is "I act like I don't need a girlfriend because I'm so quiet and lonely and God I need a girlfriend."

Get what I'm saying? Do you?

[AChimp]

If OAO really wants a girlfriend, he should stop being such a faggot about laissez faire this, and snide remark about his ideological superiority that. :lol

[Perndog]

It wouldn't have become a cliche if it hadn't been the case for millions of guys before you, OAO.

I would consider the situation you mentioned an example of the girls being bothered by the other guy, unless you have a reason to believe that they like him but still prefer you.

And listen to Schimid. He's near your age and has better luck than you.

[CaptainBubba]

First find a girl whos interested in you. You can't make one become interested in you without far far more work than its worth. And its not. If they aren't intersted without concious effort by you then things will end up badly anyway. If you have to use tricks for it to work then it would be an empty relationship that you'd regret having started.

AND I KNOW EVERYTHING BECAUSE I'M GETTIN SOME. :picklehat

[Slinky Ferret]

Ok, slinky. If you aren't lying, then you are very rare. Your advice applies to such a small percentage of the population that it's not even worth mentioning.

No I don't think I am completely alone on that one. In my town the are quite alot of girls who genuinely go for boys for their personality and they definately want a "nice" boy not the dangerous type. Of course then you get the others who just want to fuck all the men and are too drunk to care about looks.

I also think the internet can help because its normally talk before you look. In that way you get to know a side of someone's personality before you actually meet them. I think this is how most people who don't regard themselves as good looking can pull.

I don't think anyone is 100% ugly, they always have a redeming physical feature. Most of the time its their eyes.

I think he'll be fine once he goes to college or whatever is your equivilent of university. If your freshers week is anything like ours he'll get a girl.

[glowbelly]

he's afraid to go to college or rather he has some stupid excuse as to why he doesn't have to/want to go to school.

[James]

he's afraid to go to college or rather he has some stupid excuse as to why he doesn't have to/want to go to school.

I was forced to withdraw after my first semester, due to severe depression. Take that for whatever you want, I don't give a shit.

So fine, there are no tricks, there's no point to this thread. I'm very disappointed in you all. Worthless.

[The One and Only...]

I would consider the situation you mentioned an example of the girls being bothered by the other guy, unless you have a reason to believe that they like him but still prefer you.

I can see I need to put the events into sequence:

1 - The one girl leaves, leaving an empty seat.

2 - The other girls invite me over to their seat.

3 - I hesitate; they say "please," etc.

4 - Other guy offers to take seat.

5 - They prevent him from taking the seat, saying that it is mine.

6 - I move to the other seat.

Now what do you consider it?

[Terra]

Why didn't you take the seat they offered OAO? If I'm reading this correctly, they offered you the seat but you took the OTHER seat? Why was this?

[whoreable]

I understood perfectly. You don't outwardly display that you are interested in sex. From your self-description, regardless of what's going on in your head, you act more like a walking corpse than a vibrant, exciting, and attractive male. "Cold fish" is never a descriptor that can be seen in a positive light, and if you can apply it to yourself, your problem should be too obvious to need anyone's advice.

wow that totally describes me :(

[Matt Harty]

Wasn't this about James?

[The One and Only...]

Why didn't you take the seat they offered OAO? If I'm reading this correctly, they offered you the seat but you took the OTHER seat? Why was this?

The OTHER seat IS the seat they offered. I used the word other to differentiate it from the seat I was sitting in at the time.

[Schimid]

Dude, shut the fuck up.

Honestly, we've posted all the advice we have and you keep whining and crying. Who cares if it was flirting, you're too meek and uninteresting to rise to the occasion anyway.

I wish I could meet you so I could give you a fucking wedgie.

[The One and Only...]

I'm not whining and crying - I'm trying to explain to Terra what happened.

And I'm grateful for your advice.

[Schimid]

Why are you explaining what happened though? Because you want people to tell you what's happening in your own life, and you're whining because you can't figure it out for yourself.

[Matt Harty]

And instead of taking the 100 posts of advice, you're going to whine about why they won't work. Just shut up.

[The One and Only...]

You guys have more experience with this than I do, so I'm just getting confirmation on my suspicions.

I never said your suggestions would make no difference.

[Anonymous]

So fine, there are no tricks, there's no point to this thread. I'm very disappointed in you all. Worthless.

"Yeah, I asked for was the secret to tricking girls into liking me, and all you people give me are good tips and advice that I refuse to take because they don't result in immediate, overwhelming success. You are all worthless."

[Helm]

Slinky seriously now, it is in everybody's best interest in you give up and agree with everyone in this thread that women dig jerks, ok? 'Cause this whole girls are nice and they like people's eyes and smile and be talkative girls like that it doesn't matter if your flesh looks like it's made out of fossilized feces thing you're trying to pull off is freaky and it doesn't work and it scares me, ok? Women are put on this earth to turn us down and fuck our friends and generally torment us. THIS IS AN ESTABLISHED FACT. EVERYBODY THINKS SO. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD!

[Pub Lover]

he's afraid to go to college or rather he has some stupid excuse as to why he doesn't have to/want to go to school.

yeah, that I'm too cronically lazy to actually do the work, so I ended up getting depressed about that, & not being able to catch up.


Why didn't you take the seat they offered?
I never took the seat because I was certain it was a trick, & I would end up embarrassed.


we've posted all the advice we have and you keep whining and crying. ...you're too meek and uninteresting to rise to the occasion...
Yeah. :goth

[jin]

I think you should just not over-empathise or delve into their problems or show you care for them deeply and be an extremely sensitive person. :0

Its creepy. :o

Girls, and people in general, do not like jerks unless they are mentally-deficient - (usually this is not the case >;, though, sometimes strength of character and determination is easily confused with jerkatard) - They just prefer people who are strong in their own character and sure of themselves. :0

No-one wants to date a wet-sponge, they want to find someone who is strong and knows who they are, and sometimes this looks like jerkitude to people because those arent as willing to just bend over to everything. :<

[Protoclown]

My apologies for not coming into this thread to tell you off earlier, James, I just saw it today.

Perhaps if you weren't such a fucking misogynist, you wouldn't have a problem attracting the ladies.

Just be yourself, dude. You have to believe in yourself. Sooner or later, some girl is going to be interested. If not, well, you'll get a bunch of female friends (provided you're actually talking to them), and that can't hurt.

I've got more female friends than I've ever had before now, and I'm hanging out with them all the time. I'm interested in two of them romantically, but for right now we're just friends. One of them clearly is NOT interested in me romantically, and the other one might be. So I'm spending more time around the one who MIGHT be interested in me, just trying to get to know her better. I'm not trying to rush or force anything. She thinks I'm funny and nice, and if that puts me in the "friend" category forever because I'm not a "dangerous asshole", so be it. I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm going to be myself. And eventually the right girl will see the "real me" and like what she sees. If I'm lucky. If not, at least my life wasn't a pathetic lie.

And all these generalizations about how "girls go after this kind of guy" or "girls like this" are just generalizations. Remember that. People are individuals, with their own likes and dislikes. Nobody can be neatly categorized into groups...unless they're really insanely boring or something.

But I still think you're a fucking misogynist.

[Slinky Ferret]

he's afraid to go to college or rather he has some stupid excuse as to why he doesn't have to/want to go to school.

I was forced to withdraw after my first semester, due to severe depression. Take that for whatever you want, I don't give a shit.

So fine, there are no tricks, there's no point to this thread. I'm very disappointed in you all. Worthless.

James, you may find that getting depressed is quite common, but by quitting you are letting it win. Depression is an illness but you will not always be that way. Sometimes you have to grit your teeth and face everything and find a way to cope. I'm sure college is just as tough as uni, but I think pain builds character and makes you a stronger person. Life is hard at times, but there is always something worth fighting for. There should be some councillers or whatever they are at college. Go and see them because that is what they are paid for. You can vent at them and then it helps you rebuild your life.

If it helps you to know I was really depressed last year at uni. Some of it was self made but alot of it was just lots of little things that happened all at once and just dragged me down. I was depressed for pretty much the whole academic year and it was only once I moved back home I could really sort myself out. However, despite all my little hardships I managed to pass the year. Not brilliantly but I passed and now this year I'm getting good marks because I kept trying and didn't give up.

This is what happens without sleep for almost 24 hours! :)

[AChimp]

I'd date you, Proto. :love

[Royal Tenenbaum]

The sad thing is you're not joking.

[Slinky Ferret]

Slinky seriously now, it is in everybody's best interest in you give up and agree with everyone in this thread that women dig jerks, ok? 'Cause this whole girls are nice and they like people's eyes and smile and be talkative girls like that it doesn't matter if your flesh looks like it's made out of fossilized feces thing you're trying to pull off is freaky and it doesn't work and it scares me, ok? Women are put on this earth to turn us down and fuck our friends and generally torment us. THIS IS AN ESTABLISHED FACT. EVERYBODY THINKS SO. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD!

>: I've had enough of jerks. I want a man who actually sticks around and the only ones that are going to do that are the nice lads.

Girls aren't nice. I can be a right bitch at times and I'm guilty for messing men around as well. I just think some girls take longer than others to find a decent lad. I don't think its the fact that they are bastards that attracts girls to them, its the fact that they are confident in themselves.

*sighs* Think of things this way. Looks fade. Personality doesn't.

>: Anyway Helm what are you worrying about you're yummy and have long hair.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Girls that like men with long hair are either greasy morons or lesbians that like really ugly women. :lol

[da blob]

Congratulations, you just won the Most Stupidest Post of the Century award.

[Esuohlim]

And yours is an honorable mention! ZING

(By the way, the joke is over, next poster >:)

[Ghost of Fraiser]

you got the Nobel Nerd Prize for posts ZANG!

(DONT YOU DARE NEXT POSTER, IM GONNA RING YOUR NECK, i mean STING YOUR PECK)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

You all know suck harder than me! :lol Ugly women that like ugly men are hilarious. :lol

[Helm]

Anyway Helm what are you worrying about you're yummy and have long hair.

FOSSILIZED FECES SKIN!

Besides, I was joking. I don't really think that women are inherently evil and are put on this earth just to torment us. I just think they smell. Bad. And I like it. Nothing gets the juices flowing better than smelly hairy armpits and viginal secretions. Periods!. . I made a joke.

[Slinky Ferret]

>:

I think you are obsessed with sticky fluids.

[sadie]

i smell like ylang ylang myrrh. :O

[Raize]

What women really REALLY like is somebody who is sensitive, caring and tender. THIS is the big mystery. From these three traits ALL good things flow. :)

Which would explain why chick dig gay guys.

But you probably will never get it. Your idea of making love to a woman is to beat the shit out of her with a baseball bat and then assfucking her into a coma. In some cultures that might be fine but your in the wrong hemisphere for that shit.

OMG, you're turning me on.

[Anonymous]

How cute. He's like a happy-meal Helm.

[Rev. Danno]

Rev. Danno says...
At first show little intrest; smile, be nice, but nothing more...
Next, talk to others around the woman you want to meet, let her know stuff about yourself with out talking to her directly.
When you do talk to her, be a bit of a playful jerk, "hehe, what the hell is that in your hair", or "You're rather hot for a 15 year old, no really let's see some ID... That's so fake, no way your 25..."
Pretend to listen, and act like you care. These all work wonders for me!

[Rev. Danno]

Double post?

[Rev. Danno]

What?

[da blob]

Oh come on, we all know what the only important thing is - cock size.

[Rev. Danno]

What the crap! The board is telling me i'm on page 6 of 5...
Blob you are right!
But it's less about lenght and more about girth.
Or at least that's what I keep telling myself...

[Anonymous]

I can't see anything after the triple post?

[da blob]

Space-time crack. That's why we feel nauseous. Unless it's the thought of OAO and James comparing their respective penis measurements.

[The One and Only...]

You see, James would need a penis if we were to do that.

[kellychaos]

You still here?

[James]

You see, James would need a penis if we were to do that.

I'd borrow yours, but I don't want to lose horribly. :(