More about the women

[The One and Only...]

OK, so now there are two other girls that might be attracted to me, but I'm not sure.

The one girl doesn't confront me, but I've seen her looking at me all the time on the bus in friendly manner. Recently she's been whispering with her friend a lot. Probably the biggest give-away was when I first became suspicious. After a few seconds of eye contact she and her friends all started to giggle, and someone said that they thought I was hot.

The other girl smiled and waved at me on the bus (even though she was in the seat right in front of me), and her eyes were really bright. Next she started to whisper with the other girl adn her friend. Then she kinda started to tease me. She said "Jack, you sexy," to which I replied "Right" in a sarcastic tone. Following this she said "When can we get together?" At this point, I just started smiling and looking away, as I was unsure whether she was being serious or making fun of me. Finally, she said "Can we fuck?" and started moving up and down while contorting her torso for a few seconds. Now, at this point, you would think I'd be sure she was making fun of me, but that's only because you don't know her: this is a girl who truly lacks inhibition and probably would honestly ask you this question. Soon after she left.

So... what do you think?

[Esuohlim]

I think you should shut up.

[AChimp]

They're making fun of you because you're a loser and you're fat.

[Anonymous]

After a few seconds of eye contact she and her friends all started to giggle, and someone said that they thought I was hot.

1: Ohmygawd, he's looooking! LOL!
2: Ohmygod ohmygod LOL
3: I think he wants you, 2!
1: Yeah, he's a real hottie!
2: Ohymygod, shut up!

You're being made fun of because you're such an insufferable nerd. Girls don't giggle among themselves when guys they actually think are hot look at them.

Normally I wouldn't continue to field your lucid retardations of life, but I'm stuck here for a few hours.

[The One and Only...]

For one thing, most of the time they didn't giggle.

For another, I'm not fat and I'm not a nerd.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are.

[Esuohlim]

Honestly though, if we said "they like you, go for it" would you really do something about it or would you continue cramming Cheetos down your gullet?

[AChimp]

Even worse. He's in nerd denial. :lol

[Cap'n Crunch]

More like loser denial. :rolleyes :billymadison :(

[Helm]

A good way to be sure if a girl is playing around when she says something like that is a good punch in the teeth.

[maggiekarp]

They're making fun of you, dude :/

[Supafly345]

Hahaha, I just love this show. Especially the next part, lets all watch.

[Brandon]

"HEY BABY, YOU EVER HEAR OF LUDWIG VON MISES?"

[ProfessorCool]

Come on, someone make a jest about the man's phallus!

[DamnthatDavid]

and what if we don't?

[Big McLargehuge]

I have an honest to god suggestion for you, TALK TO THEM. Quit being a massive faggot nerd and do something. A very least they are making fun of your fat nerd ass and you can get all indignant and call them stupid sluts. At best you get to bury your cock right in one of those bitches.

[Rev. Danno]

Be yourself...
A fat nerd, if Yockey says 'Fat Nerd', I belive him... He is one himself... Wait he's going to the gym. Now if Achimp had said 'lonley Canadian who jerks it more then five times a day after writing love note to girl who doesn't like him"...
I'm kidding you guys.
But really be yourself, or shut the fuck up.
Which ever is easier.
Quit bringing your fucking love problmes here...
This forum if talking about what gives you a boner, and bodily functions... It's not called "let's talk about your loser love life..."

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Why don't you just ask her out then, you stupid tool? Fuck, these threads are so pointless. Just fucking ask one of them out. If they laugh in your face, you've basically lost nothing but the worry as to whether they like you or not. Or, do us all a favour, and kill yourself. Either or.

[The One and Only...]

Maybe I'm just behind the times, but I missed the point at which a 32 waist size qualified as a fat ass.

[Esuohlim]

Why the fuck are you diverting attention away from your own topic?

[maggiekarp]

'cuz he's a fatty fatty

[The Retro Kat]

Every time I come to this forum, it's always OAO bitching about being a fucking nerdbag who can't land a fucking chick. Shut the fuck up and just turn gay already, ya cunt.

[Anonymous]

Now, at this point, you would think I'd be sure she was making fun of me, but that's only because you don't know her: this is a girl who truly lacks inhibition and probably would honestly ask you this question. Soon after she left.

So... what do you think?

I think you'd make a cute couple: a girl with no inhibitions, and a boy so inhibited that he has to ask people on a message board if he should marry a girl who looked at him and smiled.

[Brandon]

I think you'd make a cute couple: a girl with no inhibitions, and a boy so inhibited that he has to ask people on a message board if he should marry a girl who looked at him and smiled.
:lol

[camacazio]

Is this the stupidest OAO's ever been, or have I just not been paying attention?

[Matt Harty]

You might have scrolled through the Political forum a few times and saw alot of big words from OAO. Easy mistake.

[camacazio]

Well, he's said some things over there that are pretty stupid, but nothing that comes close to this.

[The One and Only...]

Why the fuck are you diverting attention away from your own topic?

Because every thread I post always devolves into an asinine discussion about my being fat and my nerdiness. Both of these adjectives are not applied appropriately; fat is inaccurate, and nerdiness is inadequate.

And why do you say that this thread is retarded, camacazio?

[AChimp]

Because it is. Just because you pop a boner every time a girl breathes in your vicinity, it doesn't mean that we want to hear about it.

[Mr. Fugo]

Come on, someone make a jest about the man's phallus!

They laughed because you have a penis smaller than the Mongolian army.

[The One and Only...]

You haven't been hear long enough to know the ongoing joke. My penis is a little bigger than 7 & 1/4".

So, in short, thank's for ruining this thread.

[Esuohlim]

Ongoing joke is right.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"My penis is a little bigger than 7 & 1/4"."

Is that even all that big? I don't really think so. I'd say big would have to be at least 9".

[Matt Harty]

It's all the guys got, give him a break.

[bigtimecow]

teh CITY BUS or teh SCHOOL BUS

[Comrade Rocket]

Its simple, whip out your penis and use it like a fishing rod. Lure them in and once they bite, hit them on the head with a blunt object of sometype and hang them over your fire place.

[Matt Harty]

You have to lift his stomach to see the penis.

[Anonymous]

Both of these adjectives are not applied appropriately; fat is inaccurate, and nerdiness is inadequate.

Inadequate? First, you say you're not a nerd at all, and now you claim that "nerd" isn't sufficient to describe what a gigantic nerdwad you are.

[Buffalo Tom]

Ah, Dr. Boogie, you don't say much, but when you do say something, it is priceless. :lol

[The One and Only...]

You misunderstood my comment. It is inadequate because I am comprised of many different stereotypes - nerd is only one component.

And if my penis weren't big, people would have made so many jokes about my gargantuan penis and Jeanette wouldn't :love it.

[pjalne]

You misunderstood my comment. It is inadequate because I am comprised of many different stereotypes - nerd is only one component.

http://matrix.thescarymonkeyshow.com/images/architect.jpg

[Matt Harty]

Insufferable Bore

[Royal Tenenbaum]

And if my penis weren't big, people would have made so many jokes about my gargantuan penis and Jeanette wouldn't :love it.

This is the "one and only" (LOL :WHATAFAG) time that I ask this of anyone, but post a picture of your penis already. I'm so tired of this bullshit, that I need proof. Make sure you place a quater next to it in the pic so we can ascertain it's actual size.

[Matt Harty]

WAY TO GLIDE OUT OF THE CLOSET :lol

[The One and Only...]

The funny thing is that one of my eyes is somewhat like Col. Sanders, in that it is slightly lower and therefore makes me look contemplative.


And Ror... no.

[pjalne]

http://www.peacheschrist.com/mmass/goons/sloth.jpg

[The One and Only...]

Actually, I was refering to the way my eyelid hangs on my eye...

[Matt Harty]

HEY OAO DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE WHAT PJALNE POSTED?

[AChimp]

:lol

[Helm]

:lol pjalne

[Anonymous]

And if my penis weren't big, people would have made so many jokes about my gargantuan penis and Jeanette wouldn't :love it.

So then you're also a nerd and a lardass because people have been making a lot of those jokes, too.

[The One and Only...]

False analogy.

You know my penis size. You don't know how I appear.

[AChimp]

Yes, we do.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"You know my penis size. You don't know how I appear."

We don't know either. Having "been told" and "knowing" are to completely different things. Unfortunately, unlike you, we have deductive ability and a little thing called "evidence" is required for us to believe things. So, prove both by posting two pictures.

[GADZOOKS]

But please don't post a picture of your penis.

Especially that if one of your balls is somewhat like Col. Sanders, in that it is slightly lower and therefore makes you look incompetent.

[Alive]

Thats the bone (rib) god took from eve and gave to adam, SHE WANTS IT BACK :lol

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Ok, don't post a picture of your penis per se. Post a picture of your penis under some type of cloth, but so we can tell it's still a penis. That way you can prove it is so damn mammoth. Seriously, if it isn't bigger than 8" that is retarded. That's nothing beyond slightly above average.

[Sethomas]

Behold the voice of experience. :/

[The One and Only...]

Didn't Tenenbaum also say that any person who doesn't own at least 300 CDs if a fag, or something similar?

[glowbelly]

hugh posted his balls once. that was wonderful.

[The One and Only...]

Anyway, back on topic...

Today the one girl who said "Can we fuck?" was on the bus today.

This time, she ended up hopping over to my seat for a second and looking at me. So I waved at her, and she smiled and waved back before jumping back over to her seat. They started talking again, but I couldn't really hear because of my CD player. The only thing I could make out was her friend saying "Just jump on him." Anyway, she hopped back beside me again, only this time she gently ran her hand over my leg. As I was very confused, I just started smiling and went into a questioning pose. By this point she was smiling and laughing, and she jumped back into her own seat and started moving around wildly in it. Her friends asked her what she did, and she apparently told them because her friend said "She touched you?" to me in a suprised manner. Following this her friend asked "Do you like her?" To which I was replied that she was only teasing me in the first place. She asked me again, and then she clarified that she meant as a friend. When asked that, I said I guess so, but that I didn't really know her. The only other things said relating to me before she left the bus was her friend saying that I didn't like her and the girl affirming that I did.

I'm so confounded. :/

[Bennett]

"on the bus"

:lol

[Matt Harty]

Anyway, back on topic...

Today the one girl who said "Can we fuck?" was on the bus today.

This time, she ended up hopping over to my seat for a second and looking at me. So I waved at her, and she smiled and waved back before jumping back over to her seat. They started talking again, but I couldn't really hear because of my CD player. The only thing I could make out was her friend saying "Just jump on him." Anyway, she hopped back beside me again, only this time she gently ran her hand over my leg. As I was very confused, I just started smiling and went into a questioning pose. By this point she was smiling and laughing, and she jumped back into her own seat and started moving around wildly in it. Her friends asked her what she did, and she apparently told them because her friend said "She touched you?" to me in a suprised manner. Following this her friend asked "Do you like her?" To which I was replied that she was only teasing me in the first place. She asked me again, and then she clarified that she meant as a friend. When asked that, I said I guess so, but that I didn't really know her. The only other things said relating to me before she left the bus was her friend saying that I didn't like her and the girl affirming that I did.

I'm so confounded. :/

It's an everyday occurance, are you that much of a loser that you have to write a book about some girl touching you on the bus?

THESE GIRLS ARE FLIRTING WITH YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK IT'S FUNNY TO PLAY WITH YOUR MIND.

I do the same thing with girls, I talk and flirt, then a month later act like I never knew them and stroll with other people. I like making people cry is there something wrong with me. :(

[The One and Only...]

But... I don't even show that much interest. Sure, I'll smile and laugh when they do something like today, but I don't try to impress them or flirt back. Why would they try to fuck up someone's mind when he doesn't even seem that bothered?

[Mr. Vagiclean]

geezus someone beat him to his own suggested point, he is probably jerking off to it

[kellychaos]

You're being made fun of because you're such an insufferable nerd. Girls don't giggle among themselves when guys they actually think are hot look at them.

Chojin was right from jump. Slap them in the face with your gigundous sex pole to show 'em that you mean business. I suggest you take a sideways stance and spread your legs apart for proper weight distribution. You wouldn't want to hurt yourself while making your point. If a knock-out is achieved within the first few seconds of this frontal assault, then a little bukkake is not only encouraged, it is expected.

[ArrowX]

"on the bus" :lol

Get a Car

No but theyr just fucking with you the next time they do whisper in ones ear "I'm really a woman you know" than wait for a reaction

[Drew Katsikas]

But... I don't even show that much interest. Sure, I'll smile and laugh when they do something like today, but I don't try to impress them or flirt back. Why would they try to fuck up someone's mind when he doesn't even seem that bothered?

Well, he was bothered enough to make a fucking thread about it.

[Big Papa Goat]

:lol

[The One and Only...]

Which is why the word "seem" is included.

[AChimp]

You are underestimating your own reactions. I bet you started sweating and panting when she touched you.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Ugghh, OAO continues to show his idiocy. When a girl asks "Do you like me?" or something along those lines, you don't have to answer yes or no. In fact, even if she is teasing you, you can still say stuff like "Well, I find you attractive." By saying that you don't really conform to the black and white scenario, and, you let her know, if serious, that you are interested. If she's teasing, so what, it's a free country and she'll probably like hearing that she is attractive anyway.

[ProfessorCool]

You should write for Chicken Soup, royal.

[AChimp]

He would really say, "I would take you back to my place." :(

[Brandon]

My dating advice for OAO? Stock up on chloroform and rags.

[kellychaos]

Place a ruler next to your penis in the picture for added authority and authenticity. Also, try to use a light background for crispness and to acentuate any details you think are phallicaly important. If you're really feel motivate, surround the "proof" in a Hallmark type card with whatever sentiment is appropriate to the occasion such as "Sorry you missed my penis!", ect.

[The One and Only...]

You are underestimating your own reactions. I bet you started sweating and panting when she touched you.

Not even close. I've had to learn to control my emotions and sexual urges due to my massive obesity in my early life.

I might take into account what Tenenbaum said, however.

Anyway, she didn't bother me today. I saw her glance at me a few times, but that was it.

Oh, and here's one good reason I won't post a picture of my penis: all of you who are skeptical would say that it isn't really mine, and I just took it off some fuckhead's website.

[Rongi]

Not even close. I've had to learn to control my emotions and sexual urges due to my massive obesity in my early life.

:lol

[Anonymous]

Anyway, back on topic...

Today the one girl who said "Can we fuck?" was on the bus today.

This time, she ended up hopping over to my seat for a second and looking at me. So I waved at her, and she smiled and waved back before jumping back over to her seat. They started talking again, but I couldn't really hear because of my CD player. The only thing I could make out was her friend saying "Just jump on him." Anyway, she hopped back beside me again, only this time she gently ran her hand over my leg. As I was very confused, I just started smiling and went into a questioning pose. By this point she was smiling and laughing, and she jumped back into her own seat and started moving around wildly in it. Her friends asked her what she did, and she apparently told them because her friend said "She touched you?" to me in a suprised manner. Following this her friend asked "Do you like her?" To which I was replied that she was only teasing me in the first place. She asked me again, and then she clarified that she meant as a friend. When asked that, I said I guess so, but that I didn't really know her. The only other things said relating to me before she left the bus was her friend saying that I didn't like her and the girl affirming that I did.

I'm so confounded. :/

:lol

OAO, I am going to send you some money so you can eat at Hooter's one day just so I can see the post you make about how your waitress was totally into you.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Oh, and here's one good reason I won't post a picture of my penis: all of you who are skeptical would say that it isn't really mine, and I just took it off some fuckhead's website."

No we won't. Just do it already you fag.

[Zebra 3]

:( - Yes we will.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

No, you'd just post a pic of Starsky and Gut looking at their penis, pointing out how the two incidences connect in the gayest possible way.

[Drew Katsikas]

What?!?

[Esuohlim]

I don't want to look at a 15-year-old's penis. I'd be fucking satisied if he didn't post it. I mean what the hell. >:

Hey OAO, why don't you be impulsive and play the same damn game she's playing instead of asking people on the Internet whom you already know will give you shit for an answer. >:

[maggiekarp]

Take a video camera with you next time, and have her say "Oh OAO(for we know not your true name) your penis is so large and pleasurable" then stare confused into the camera and say "Hey guys, do you think she's interested?"

Then have sex with her on the bus. And her friends.

[CaptainBubba]

This is sad. :(

I thought OAO was a character because of this thread, but I don't think anyone would go to the trouble of sounding like such a douche just to be ridiculed.

If you are truly a flesh and blood pseudo-boy fag monster, then I also suggest that you stop asking people online about love related questions. You may have the vocabulary of a 15 year old with a working knowledge of those all too annoying "quarter-words", but you definitely have some growing up to do mentally and socially. If simple interactions with members of the opposite sex are such a quandry to you then perhaps you should start slow. Maybe talk to the girls themselves. Just be confident and fuck with them. And if they laugh don't cry. It gives you zits and makes you eat more. Fatty.

[Command Prompt]

Fuck, OAO is an idiot, and you're all idiots for letting this go on. This guy is 14, maybe 15, and making shit up so you'll all respond to him.

Seriously, this is pissing me off. Every section now has about 10 fucking threads about this crap and they're all 5 pages long.

Goddamn it Boogie, just fucking ban him already and get him to take that Fartin fag with him

[The One and Only...]

I just want you to know that I have an extensive vocabulary and was able to leave the impression that I was in college for quite some time. Anyone who was on the Philosophy board in my political and philosophical days can vouch for that.

Also, I'm trying to use this board to figure out how to read signs. Talking isn't going to do anything if you can't see them.

And El Mariachi is not that great of a movie.

[AChimp]

You learn how to read signs when you're old enough to start driving. :lol

[Zebra 3]

I just want you to know that I have an extensive vocabulary and was able to leave the impression that I was in college for quite some time. Anyone who was on the Philosophy board in my political and philosophical days can vouch for that.
:lol - Ah those were the days.

[Helm]

I for one am completely happy with the fact that OAO's 'philosophical days' are well behind him. the philosophy/politics forum has benefitted greatly in his hormone-induced absence.


And oao shouldn't be banned for being an insufferable bore. At least there's a chance for him to somehow become something else than that. But El Mariachi will never fit in around here. He may be a fucking asshole, but he's neither funny nor interesting about it.

[kellychaos]

:lol Royal Tenenbaum wants to sword fight OAO!

[Anonymous]

I just want you to know that I have an extensive vocabulary and was able to leave the impression that I was in college for quite some time. Anyone who was on the Philosophy board in my political and philosophical days can vouch for that.

Well, you certainly came across as a child with a thesaurus and a list of news stories to copy and paste on the board.

For the record, I have never considered banning OAO, not even during his most asinine moments on the Poli/Philo board. As you all know, I am fully committed to the happiness of our board members, and having him around to tell his stories of social ineptitude makes all us other losers on the board feel a whole lot better about ourselves.

[Command Prompt]

Funny and Interesting eh? Sorry Spengotti, I forgot how captivating you were. I tend to forget about you until the next time you post.

Tell me, do you an Chimp ever have fights about which one of you is the dominant one in the relationship, and do these fights ever turn into wild, passionate sex?

[ArrowX]

Rape the Bitch! Rape solves everything

[Comrade Rocket]

Rape the Bitch! Rape solves everything

You leeching penis-rat, don't ever steal my tag lines, EVER.

And OAO, i just got a girlfriend today. Want to know how? I told her how i felt. I was driving her home, swallowed really big, let a sigh and said, "You know, i've had a crush on you for awhile now, but i didn't think you liked me." It turned out she felt the same way about me.

Thats all you have to do, tell her how you feel. How are you suppost to get anywhere if the girl doesn't know? Look at it like this, on the one hand the girl says she doesnt like you, you move on to another girl, or you have this girl hook you up. and on the other hand, she does like you and now you can ask her out.



umm... i mean, RAPE HER WITH YOUR LARGE PENIS, RAPE SOLVES EVERYTHING.

[Sethomas]

Arrow, if you're going to plagiarise something, make sure it's funny first. :|

[AChimp]

Tell me, do you an Chimp ever have fights about which one of you is the dominant one in the relationship, and do these fights ever turn into wild, passionate sex?
Huh?

<insert retaliatory joke about Agriculture students fucking sheep>

[kellychaos]

The sordid underbelly of farming. :(

[Neurotic monkey]

Your best bet is to threaten to kill her. Then call her friend a whore.

[the[Hitman]]

if you cant read a sign as obvious as sitting beside you rubbing your leg, i think you need to stop reading hans christian anderson for 4 seconds and experience the real world.

[Esuohlim]

No really guys, thanks for bringing this back up. >:

[Seven Force]

I just want you to know that I have an extensive vocabulary and was able to leave the impression that I was in college for quite some time. Anyone who was on the Philosophy board in my political and philosophical days can vouch for that.

Well, you certainly came across as a child with a thesaurus and a list of news stories to copy and paste on the board.

For the record, I have never considered banning OAO, not even during his most asinine moments on the Poli/Philo board. As you all know, I am fully committed to the happiness of our board members, and having him around to tell his stories of social ineptitude makes all us other losers on the board feel a whole lot better about ourselves.

Amen to that! :)