McMock's thread

[ziggytrix]

Here we are now, entertain us.

[Helm]

Remember that the i-mockery vets are watching you.

[kellychaos]

Happy birthday dear Gilligaaan, happy birthday to yoouu!


http://www.tvlinksonline.com/photopost/data/896/3tinalouise16.jpg

[Helm]

Go away, Kelly. This is for mcmock, our new vet-to-be.

[ziggytrix]

I'm so disappointed. Now I'm going to have to actually get some work done. :(

[kellychaos]

Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio? :(

[McMock]

It's very hard to come up with something entertaining on the spot. I could be a spoilsport and not attempt, but that would be weak - no matter the even weaker excuse I'd come up with. I'll try something, and if all of you think it's ridiculous - you can give me a good old mocking.

I'm gonna talk about my emotional life. My deepest feelings, such as love, regret, and the missing out on those things. That's what it's all about, isn't it? None of that cerebral shit. We can do without that. It's the emotions that do it. It's those that we remember. You don't remember a good argument you had - you remember a good laugh or a shared bit of cry. Emotions. It's the best thing there is!

I remember it like it was yesterday. My first regret. Deeply in love with this red-haired girl I was. I would see her haircut everywhere. Strange enough, that was what I loved most about her. She had big breasts as well, but then so many girls had those. Sure, I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with her if she hadn't had those - but they didn't light the spark. It was her hair. And I kept seeing that everywhere I went. Not, you know... it was still on somebodies head. But it was like with those cars, when you have a volvo, the amount of volvos goes up so much. Same thing with that girls hair. I was in love with her so much, and I could never tell her. I did not want to hear her say no. And that wasn't even, I realise later, because I was afraid she's say no because it would break my heart - it was because it would mean I'd have to give up my dream. Dreams... aren't those what life is really all about? You dream, and you try to achieve what you dream of. It's never as good, but it's kind of fun still - cause you get to have new dreams then.

I've cried over the silliest things. I feel bad, often, even now. I felt bad for making fun of people in the other thread, even. I also had a whole lot of fun, and generally - the feeling is one of contentment - but I'll have a bit of a cry sometimes nevertheless. As a kid I'd feel so alone. Nobody to talk to about my emotions. Fortunately, I have you guys for that now.

Come on. I can't keep telling this story. I need a hug. Gimme me a hug!

*smooch*

[Anonymous]

Kurt freed my arms and I flung them around his neck. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We kissed passionately and he set me back down. My legs felt like jelly. I so desperately wanted him to make love to me.

My legs buckled and I dropped to my knees. Kurt's fingers tangled themselves in my hair and, as I reached for the waistband of his trousers, I felt him push my head downwards.

I wanted to taste him, to take his penis in my mouth and please him as he had pleased me. I'd never liked the idea of oral sex, but suddenly it seemed the most appealing thing on earth.

I untied the drawstring of Kurt's tracksuit trousers and pulled them down. His penis stood to attention, his underpants straining at the seams. I slipped them off and marvelled at the size of his manhood.

He kicked off his shoes and I pulled off his socks. He kicked aside his trousers and underpants to free his ankles. I ran my hands up his outer thighs and sunk my fingernails into his hips. I scraped my nails across his belly and around to his backside. He had a great arse.

Kurt's hands were on my head and he guided me, positioning my head in front of his penis. I stroked it. I licked it. I nibbled ever-so-gently on its head. I sucked it and, without giving it too much thought, gave him "head" - an idea that had always sickened me in the past.

He soon began to shoot and I withdrew, not wanting to have to attempt to swallow and embarrass myself by choking on his semen.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around, picking me up and laying me down in the middle of the ring. He parted my legs and mounted me.

I was already dripping wet, so lubrication was not a problem. I didn't want to have to make him wait any longer, so I beckoned him inside. Contraception never crossed my mind, I'm ashamed to say.

With a grunt, his penis was inside me. In, out, in, out... I had never had such amazing sex. Before this, it had always been bland. (Of course, my ex-boyfriend was not a powerful wrestler with strong arms and a great body!) Kurt pressed one hand against my belly, requiring just one arm to do his press ups. I tried to contain my squeals of pleasure and delight, but Kurt hit all the right spots. It was hard to remember to breath, let alone concentrate on keeping quiet. Needless to say, I had an orgasm.

Kurt pulled himself off me and slid down between my legs. His tongue probed me again, and he licked my juices which now ran shamelessly down my thighs. His thumbs found my clitoris and I reached orgasm for the third time - something I never thought possible.

My legs quivered and my hands trembled. I had never felt more sexually satisfied in my life. Kurt rested his head on my belly and I patted him on the head like he were a lap dog.

If our passion had died there and then, I'd have been content. But I saw this opportunity as a chance to impress... and catch Kurt off guard.

Wrapping my legs around Kurt's head, I pulled him to my left, rolling on to my left side and clambering on top of Kurt, who was now laying on his back. I took his arms and positioned them above his head, pressing my weight onto them to hold him still. Not that he struggled. It was his turn to be held captive.

I spread my thighs and positioned myself across his waist. I could feel his pubic hair brushing against mine. I lowered my head to caress his nipples with my mouth and suckled them gently. All the time I kept my hands on his arms, as though I was powerful enough to hold him still!

I kissed his neck and throat, his ears, his forehead. He opened his mouth as wide as he could to catch me by the chin to draw me lower, my lips to his.

Our tongues collided. I heard oceans crashing against rocks in some far flung corner of my mind.

I pulled away and my mouth continued its journey south. I trailed kisses down Kurt's throat, chest and belly, circling his belly button and biting at his hips gently, making his body tighten in self defence. My hands willingly followed my mouth's lead.

I went lower still, taking his penis by the hand and stroking its considerable length. In an instance, he was erect. I parted his muscular legs and held his penis with both hands. For the second time that evening, I went down on him.

[McMock]

Those aren't emotions. That's just you describing sex with a wrestler. I'll bet you didn't even write that story.

What's your point? Is this supposed to confuse me or something? I've read through it. I don't like those stories. I read through it anyway. I come at the end, and I've read nothing relevant. What is this? Is it the first layer of hell? The first of many i-mockery tortures that I have to sustain? The reading of the bad porn? What's next? Getting a smiley made after me that barfs and then eats it's own barf, and it keeps on doing this forever, as that's what they do? Is that it? Bring on the second layer, motherfuckers!

BRING IT!

[Comrade Rocket]

The Stone Cold Steve Austin one was better

[Mr. Oysterhead]

:orgasm :wank

That was beautiful.

[thebiggameover]

can i get the cliff notes for this thread?

[eggyolk]

Three cheers for Chojin! :lol

[ScruU2wice]

hey who was scheduled for the second layer of hell this week?

[Supafly345]

Those aren't emotions. That's just you describing sex with a wrestler. I'll bet you didn't even write that story.

What's your point? Is this supposed to confuse me or something? I've read through it. I don't like those stories. I read through it anyway. I come at the end, and I've read nothing relevant. What is this? Is it the first layer of hell? The first of many i-mockery tortures that I have to sustain? The reading of the bad porn? What's next? Getting a smiley made after me that barfs and then eats it's own barf, and it keeps on doing this forever, as that's what they do? Is that it? Bring on the second layer, motherfuckers!

BRING IT!You actually do seem confused, so I will put it into black and white: You were just McMocked.

[McMock]

Well, I got off easy then, I'd say. Thanks! :worship

[Lotida]

Why is Chojin posting his diary??? :/

[ScruU2wice]

Why is Chojin posting his diary??? :/

I love all the postmaking work of lotida, they bring cheerfully bright aspect to a dark and unhumorus world of i-mockery.

this post was timed perfectly, only 8 posts underneath chojins, and is very simple and direct. The biting humor in it is shown through word like "his" and "Diary." This is trying to indicate that Chojin keeps a journal of sexual encounters and or fantasies. Expose this fact makes it humorus at the expense of Chojin. The post also has a timelesness to it because it has no context to anything after Chojin's post. The added emoitcon shows a shelled emotion carefully planted to add another layer of laughter to the original, in essence "salting the wounds." This post is in the top teir of quality i-mockery posts and thats why I give it a thumbs up.

For more reviews visit our website:

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or go to www.movie.com

[kellychaos]

McMock,

Your post had a Steve Martin quality I appreciate. I was emotionally drained at it's conclusion. Nontheless, I unselfishly proffer my shoulder for future bouts of crying. For if an altar boy cries in the confession booth and there's no one around to hear it, does his anus not yet still bleed? I'm sorry, sometimes my altruistic nature gets the best of me. Good luck with everything.

[ziggytrix]

I feel stupid - and contagious.

[McMock]

Yeah that's a good one. I think we should all be more open about our emotions. Not crying, of course. When you're crying you're basically asking people to have some pity on you. That's not a good thing to do, especially not in this place, I'd wager. That's what you're all here for, isn't it? Waiting for somebody to show some pain, so you can all jump on it and suck his wound dry. Yeah, it's probably not good to cry around this place.

But here's the kicker. Emotions... well, shouldn't you be able to talk about emotions? We all have them. I'm sure nobody here is daft enough to claim they don't. It's one think to let your emotions get the better of you, like some kind of runny nose moment where the snot piles up and up and it itches so bad that eventually, you just have to sneeze and the other persons face is full of the stuff. It's another thing to have a healthy blow in the hankerchief from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. I honestly believe talking about your emotions is quite a healthy thing to do. Finding out other people have them as well, and getting that belief sharpened each time you witness it - it's a good thing. It's a healthy thing. It's the right thing!

[kellychaos]

I will be your handkerchief, my friend ... and, if you will allow it, your nasal decongestant as well.

[McMock]

Oh no you're not. Basic gay rules. I'm not blowing if you're not.

[kellychaos]

Think of it as if you're on shift at the glory hole. I assure you that you have total anonimity. ;)

[Esuohlim]

Yeah, but Kelly really is gay though, and he is hitting on you right now. Fair warning.

[kahljorn]

I-cat.cataract.

[FartinMowler]

This thread is Mcstupid

[da blob]

am I lowering my standards or what ? I happen to find fartin to be funny sometimes.


:suicide

[kahljorn]

I don't think anybody cares to join in on your self analyzation, you newb.

[da blob]

I wouldn't expect them to - scary enough

[FartinMowler]

I'm all man too :) never tried my mom's undies or anything.

[da blob]

much needed reality check - thank you fartin

[liquidstatik]

Sorry i'm late, guys. Did I miss anything? :)

[ziggytrix]

a mulatto
an albino
a mosquito
my libido


yeah.

[FartinMowler]

a mulatto
an albino
a mosquito
my libido


:lol

[Lotida]

I love all the postmaking work of lotida, they bring cheerfully bright aspect to a dark and unhumorus world of i-mockery.

I feel like you can see right into my soul! :love

[ziggytrix]

I'm worse at what I do best :)

[Supafly345]

This thread is McstupidHeh, that was funny, now stop pushing your luck.

[kellychaos]

Yeah, but Kelly really is gay though, and he is hitting on you right now. Fair warning.

Thanks for the input, Mr. Helper. Can't you see that I'm working here? I don't go to where to where you work and slap the dicks out of your mouth now do I?! :oldschool