Your best pick up lines.

[Terra]

I need a really good pick up line. Quick. Guys and ladies.

What do you use?

What do you like to hear (if you've ever been blessed by a pick up line)?

What do you hate to hear (if you've ever been blessed by a pick up line)?

[Dixie]

i get drunk. everyone wants the drunk chick.

[Dole]

best pick up line: 'I AM SHITCUNT'

[FS]

I'M SO WASTED, I'M SO WASTED

>: :reference

[Terra]

best pick up line: 'I AM SHITCUNT'

Didn't work. Need another one please.

[Geggy]

'do you like blow pop? i like blow pop. blow pops are very good.' smile and then wink.

[Zhukov]

I hope your not in too much of a hurry, we've got loads more joke pick up lines to get through.

[Seven Force]

Hi. :)

7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.

[Terra]

Hi. :)

7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.

Ah snap!

This will do just fine. It might even work on this asshole. :)

[Methuselah]

Lets not turn this rape into a murder. :(

[subterfuge]

"Hey, baby, wanna die?"

This really works.

[Helm]

Yeah but then you have to live up to expectations when you murder :( I hate working under pressure.

[FartinMowler]

Hi! My name is Fartin Mowler, I have a wife, two kids and live in the suburbs :( and then I cry in my beer and stomp away.

[liquidstatik]

WANNA BE IN A MOVIE? ;O

[Matt Harty]

ARE YOU THE GRIM REAPER CAUSE IM DYING FOR YOU BABY

[Terra]

I tried most of them. He doesn't speak English (which means he doesn't say much and I like that) and he's gay (but that's because I made him gay on the spot).

It was fun. I'll never do this again. I'm joining a Nunnery now.

[Helm]

jesus, I want to fucking kill you so bad

[Terra]

Deal with it.

[Helm]

You know that's not the best way to approach people that want to stab you to death with a nailfile? The 'direct approach'? Liking yourself, liking what you do that whole self-empowering, self-employed, may I take your order stance you know? You know I fucking hate you? Well I fucking hate you. And that cunt Maria Angelou, fuck that bitch too. I can picture you, sitting on your ice-cream stained chrome couch feeling out your genital warts, wondering if you're going to need surgery for that too and what if maybe, wait, great idea! maria angelou would be proud! could you perhaps use the extra boob skin to cover some of that mess up? Hah, I'd take your eye out and you wouldn't even notice, perhaps just a bit wondering why jerry springer looks somewhat slimmer now, you knoooowww? Deal with it? I'm dealing with it, I'm fucking dealing with it your whore. I'm dealing with you. I'm going to kill you.

[Seven Force]

Yet another wholesome post from the people at Pepperidge Farm. :)

I'm Seven Force, and I approve this message.

EDIT: OH SHIT! That wasn't there when I posted! :eek

I take back what I said.

[Helm]

carve you up, slice you until all the fat oozes out and drags your soul along with it

[Seven Force]

That's not wholesome, goddamnit!!

But oddly sitmulating... :/

[Helm]

Stop posting.

[Terra]

Pay attention you ass gobling fuckwit.

It's MAYA. Not maria.

Now deal with it.

[Skulhedface]

"You are watching the Discovery Channel."

*drops pants*

"Today's Special: Anacondas."

[DeadKennedys]

"Does this rag smell like cloroform?"

[FartinMowler]

:lol I think its spelled chloroform

[Seven Force]

Make me.

[Anonymous]

"Come on let's go."

or

"Follow me."

[nothing4buddha]

"hi my boobs are small, i have short hair, and im not a lesbian contrary to popular belief. am i acceptable enough for you? am i?! fucker :( dun walk away. *sniff* i need the cock :("

[Perndog]

I would bite on that line.

[Captain Goodtimes]

and suck it's blood.

[kellychaos]

Pay attention you ass gobling fuckwit.

It's MAYA. Not maria.



Pointing out spelling errors is REALLY getting to the heart of the matter, I'll tell you. :lol

[Supafly345]

I just get her eye contact, then snap my finger and point to the available empty space next to me that isn't already covered in hot girls.

[Terra]

Pay attention you ass gobling fuckwit.

It's MAYA. Not maria.



Pointing out spelling errors is REALLY getting to the heart of the matter, I'll tell you. :lol

Yeah, that actually disturbed me more than anything else he posted. I mean, fuck. Who hasn't used those "pick up" lines on me before?

[HickMan]

Hey, My name's Clayton. Let's dryhump

[executioneer]

HI I'M 27 AND I'M STILL A VIRGIN ;););)

[Captain Goodtimes]

Im 27 too but i lost it to an asian girl.

Your way better off :lol

[HickMan]

You're a funny :lol

[Captain Goodtimes]

http://paintedover.com/uploads/7/dsc02919.jpg

:lol WHOOPS :lol

[HickMan]

:(

[kellychaos]

Does this milk taste spoiled to you?

[rook]

hey baby are your parents retarded?

::inevitable "why"? ::

'cause you're special.

[Jixby Phillips]

"want to hear a really hilarious pick up line?"

[Seven Force]

I am the Keymaster, are you the Gatekeeper?

[kellychaos]

Can I see your license and registration, please.

[ThisIsWitty]

You know that's not the best way to approach people that want to stab you to death with a nailfile? The 'direct approach'? Liking yourself, liking what you do that whole self-empowering, self-employed, may I take your order stance you know? You know I fucking hate you? Well I fucking hate you. And that cunt Maria Angelou, fuck that bitch too. I can picture you, sitting on your ice-cream stained chrome couch feeling out your genital warts, wondering if you're going to need surgery for that too and what if maybe, wait, great idea! maria angelou would be proud! could you perhaps use the extra boob skin to cover some of that mess up? Hah, I'd take your eye out and you wouldn't even notice, perhaps just a bit wondering why jerry springer looks somewhat slimmer now, you knoooowww? Deal with it? I'm dealing with it, I'm fucking dealing with it your whore. I'm dealing with you. I'm going to kill you.

HOLY SHIT, DOES THAT REALLY GET CHICKS HOT FOR YOU?



I'M SO WASTED, I'M SO WASTED

:reference
.


Druids! :-(

[Terra]

Yeah he was making me all hot, tweaky and wet for him until he mentioned the "ice cream chrome couch" and then he just fucking blew it. Damn shame too. I was almost ready to cum.

I mean wtf???

"Ice cream chrome couch??" Who would be caught DEAD on one of those (much less heard of one) even if you only used it to fuck?

Anybody who talks about ice cream chrome couches can just suck my clit.

[ThisIsWitty]

ONCE UPON A TIME AN ICE CREAM CHROME COUCH WAS AN ICE CREAM CHROME COUCH ICE CREAM CHROME COUCH ICE CREAM CHROME COUCH

[Anonymous]

Did that post cause anyone else to pound at their nutsuck in hideous laughter???

[sports]

Hey baby, how about you and me go cool off...in the shower. Never tired it before...but if I did, I'd probably get slapped in the face or something :lol

[Anonymous]

I'LL SLAP YOU IN THE FACE, ALL RIGHT. I'LL GIVE YOU AN OPEN-PALMED ZINGER WITH A FUCKING POT OF BOILING CAT PISS.

[Seven Force]

Did that post cause anyone else to pound at their nutsuck in hideous laughter???

No, but that post did.

:lol

[executioneer]

"what's the ugliest part of your body?" would work pretty well :lol

[Seven Force]

My face. :(

[ThisIsWitty]

Whats a nutsuck?

[Anonymous]

"Hey sis, are you up?"

:lol

[ThisIsWitty]

That one works, too.

[The Retro Kat]

"Is there a keg in your back pocket, cause I wanna tap that ass."

[Guitar Woman]

:lol that's the corniest line I've ever heard. But I'm sure it works. Oh, and I used this one in the laundromat at college when it was raining: Hey baby, You're soaked. Want a tumble dry?

[da blob]

I need to go to the bathroom

*looks deep into guy's eyes*

[Guitar Woman]

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[executioneer]

Hi. :)

7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.

and i still dont fucking get this one, and i'm sure i've heard it before which makes it very much more aggravating >:

[Spectre X]

Hey beautiful. Mind if I stick my throbbing cock in your flange?

[kellychaos]

Wide Load.

[EisigerBiskuit]

"My pants wants to dance!"

[HickMan]

I hope you enjoy getting punched!

[executioneer]

Hi. :)

7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.

and i still dont fucking get this one, and i'm sure i've heard it before which makes it very much more aggravating >:

somebody explain to me plz >:

[theone89]

Would You Like To Make A reverse childbirth film with me? I'll play the baby

[kellychaos]

I hope you enjoy getting punched!

Donkey punched! :lol

[theone89]

"what's the ugliest part of your body?" would work pretty well :lol

"I Think It's Your Mind"
- F.Z.

[the_dudefather]

"am i happy to see you or is that a CANOE in my pocket?"

/lord flashard

[Mr. Vagiclean]

wanna indulge on some FRESH G-RAPE :(

[maggiekarp]

"Let's fuck!"
"What?"
"I said your hair looks fine, don't worry about it."

[Jixby Phillips]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[FS]

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

LOCKED

[Helm]

We can only hope.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, the one is no longer with us.