My father is insane

[FS]

He's got some kind of obsessive aversion to wasting stuff. Food packages get scrapped clean, stuff (far) past the expiration date gets eaten, paper napkins that aren't falling apart are re-used.

But at the same time, he has no qualms about big expenses. In the past two years, he's bought a motorcycle, swapped his fairly large, but also fairly new car for a new, smaller one, bought a new house, and a new computer we both know he's not going to do anything with.

Today, I saw a half-filled carton of chocolate milk in the fridge, and poured myself a glass. I noticed immediately it was rather thick, though the expiration date was next year, and that it smelled sour. When my dad came home I asked him where it came from - he told me he found it lying somewhere around the grocery store, and meant to see if it was still drinkable.

Maybe it's got something to do with him growing up in the post-WWII era. Maybe he's mad and I will one day inherit this madness. :chatter

[Zhukov]

Did he make you drink the milk? My dad would have made me drink the milk.

The aversion to wasting stuff is just normal everyday insanity, and the buying things is mid life crisis kind of insanity. Eventualy there will be a conflict of crazy and the two spectrums will clash for supremacy.

How long has the expensive spending been going on?

[FartinMowler]

I get stressed and like to hang out here :/ maybe you should spend time with him, maybe go on a hunting trip or go to a titty bar once in a while.

[Seven Force]

Haha, he's like Junkman from MM7.

A hunting trip huh? What if he make him eat ALL the deer/bear/whatever? Even the shit?

"C'mon, boy! It's still good an' warm! Lemme put it on a stick for you...Don't let it go to waste, the mushrooms will get it!"

[Terra]

Yeah, lots of older people do stuff like that. It probably comes from being broke before you were born, worrying about money and crap like that. It comes from seeing people waste things (particularly kids who still live at home doing really stupid shit that cost their parents money) and just not having enough money in general to spread around.

Then later on in life when they are a bit more financially comfortable they hit mid life crisis and buy the things they have always wanted in their youth while still holding on to the same old habits of squandering that they had in the first place. They probably do some pretty extreme stuff (like the milk thing) now to justify the shit they spent on themselves.

Then again, he could just be one crazy old coot and your going to do the same thing too, later on in life.

[ThisIsWitty]

Think of it as a game. Whoever saves the most money by doing stupid shit wins.

He's set the bar at 50 cents, now you have to save 60 cents by, like stealing gas from your neighbor's car.

[Captain Goodtimes]

Quit running on the wet grass, witty, fucking dumbass.

[ThisIsWitty]

Ok? :/

[dreaddi]

Maybe it's got something to do with him growing up in the post-WWII era. Maybe he's mad and I will one day inherit this madness. :chatter

I think that's most probably it.. my grandparents had the same problem.

[AChimp]

My grandfather used to drink sour milk and eat moldy bread. I was all WTF. :x

My parents collect lots of useless shit, too, just in case "we need it." Like boxes.

[ThisIsWitty]

My dad has a collection of broken, obsolite electronics in our basement...

[Captain Goodtimes]

You keep knocking on heaven's door, witty, some one will answer, ass magnet.

[ThisIsWitty]

Stop with that fucking wierd talk.

Its making me horny.

[Guitar Woman]

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[Captain Goodtimes]

Ok what the fuck is the matter with you today? you're obviously pissed, buit do you really have to go on a faggy rampage?

this cat has claws, and the deadly curiosity to match

[Guitar Woman]

I think Capt. Goodtimes isn't having a good time. :(

[ThisIsWitty]

You're like a retarded kid that writes poetry. >:

[Captain Goodtimes]

If i wrote poetry i would be wearing new shoes, did you ever think of that

[Guitar Woman]

:lol wtf :lol

[Captain Goodtimes]

answer to Akira teh Cat's 2nd PM, I would have replied thusly:

Holy toledo, did you just shoot a land mine or you just hit a kamakazi pidgeon.

http://www.andreasm.de/mash/darsteller/klinger.jpg

[FS]

When my brother and sister still lived at home, we used to joke about my dad's strange ways. I just hope this latest 'food I found in the street' thing is not going to become a habit.

[Captain Goodtimes]

I apologize for this is witty and akira trying to gay your thread with thier booshwah mentality, fatsatan.

[FS]

I'm trying to tune them out. It's like, you know, when you've got a ticking clock in your home, and after a while you just don't notice the ticking anymore? And all these guys are posting in the same threads, often in the same order? It's like that.

[ThisIsWitty]

Silence, Captain.


FS: You should drink your milk. It builds strong bones.

[Captain Goodtimes]

Scholar Advice, witty, tell me is that your excuse for the continuation of you knawing on your mother's breast?

[ThisIsWitty]

That and because they're yummy. And because they distract me from you. >:

[Guitar Woman]

I apologize for this is witty and akira trying to gay your thread with thier booshwah mentality, fatsatan.
You started it with your poetic speaking. And also, fuck off >:

[Captain Goodtimes]

and i should feel ashamed, i can spell the word "the". GO away you crumbbums.

[Guitar Woman]

The "teh" in my name is something known as 1337 5p34k. But you wouldn't know that, as you are not 1337 and I once was.

[Captain Goodtimes]

You got me there, I conceed.

[Maverick Zero Unit]

Today, I saw a half-filled carton of chocolate milk in the fridge, and poured myself a glass. I noticed immediately it was rather thick, though the expiration date was next year, and that it smelled sour. When my dad came home I asked him where it came from - he told me he found it lying somewhere around the grocery store, and meant to see if it was still drinkable.

By "found" does he mean that he bought it or stole it off the floor of the store? (Heh, floor and store ryme!) And, thats fucking gross. I think you should steal all his money and do ALL of the shopping from now on. Especially food shopping. :: Thinking about the time I drank Nes Quik that expired a month ago. Shudder ::

[FS]

I'm fairly sure he picked it off the ground outside the store. Which makes it marginally more gross than if it had been inside the store.

[Maverick Zero Unit]

Dear god... :puke
Is it illegal to tie people down a give them shock treatments with some jumper cables and some car batteries? If it isn't I'd say do that, that sounds good. And even if it doesn't help him, you might feel better later. :)

[Guitar Woman]

That emoticon has barf juice squrting out his nose! OMG

[Maverick Zero Unit]

That emoticon has barf juice squrting out his nose! OMG
Oi vey... Well at least I feel smarter now.
Any one got some duct tape, jumper cables, and a car battery I can borrow? Here kitty kitty kitty! :: makes kissy noises :: ;)

[Guitar Woman]

Dont even try it >:

[Terra]

Try it. It feels good. Not as good as shoving a cattle prod up your ass but it's decent in a pinch.

[Spectre X]

Usually when milk is just starting to go bad an glob, I still drink it because it still tastes normal in the beginning.

However, when I finish the glass and swallow the globules of clotted dairy fluid, I know that I just drank bad milk.

I hate that dawning realization. It makes me sick. Together with the milk, of course, but still. I hate it when things like that happen.

[da blob]

grown ups are not supposed to drink milk, anyway. it will make you sick.

[Mr. know it all]

you think your father is insane. Mine pee's in a bucket. he makes me carry around a granny bag. sometimes i wake up to find him petting my head at night. he collects garbage cans full of compost :shocked

[Guitar Woman]

I know people who pee in buckets. What's wrong with that? and you're dad pet's you're head because he loves you. Aw.

[Maverick Zero Unit]

Wow, Akira really is dumb... I feel bad for making fun of him. It's not right to poke fun at the retarded. (Sorry to all the retards out there, I had to classify him somewhere.)

[MLE]

would all of you stop gaying up fatty's thread? >:

FS, i'm sorry your father is insane. :( :( :(

[kahljorn]

my great grandma takes all moldy bread and fruit and makes it into some super bread pudding stuff. I've never eatten it, but it's supposed to be good. Old people are good with rotten food, like plants.

[Anonymous]

It's because they are what they eat :<

[kellychaos]

Dear Sour Milk Drinkers (and Moldy Bread Eaters),

Buy smaller cartons/packages of things and look at the expiration date when you buy them. Hint: The newer stuff is usually towards the back if the stock people are doing their job correctly. That is all.

[ziggytrix]

Maybe he's mad and I will one day inherit this madness.
:lol one day! :conspiracy

[executioneer]

maybe he's one of the aliens from Alien Nation :lol

[FS]

Well, his head is nearly bald and a little spotted. :eek

[ziggytrix]

Does he ever talk about how painful it was going into labor with you? Cuz that'd be a clincher.

[Jeanette X]

Maybe it's got something to do with him growing up in the post-WWII era. Maybe he's mad and I will one day inherit this madness. :chatter

My grandparents grew up during the Great Depression. My mom tells me horror stories like how Grandma once put leftover Cherrios from breakfast into a casserole. :puke

I don't understand how growing up in the post WWII era would make you thrifty though. That was the post-war boom, and Americans were becoming more consumerist.

[Pub Lover]

Fatsatan isn't American. ;)

Europe was very poor in the decades after the wars. :(

Both my grandparents & parents had crazy ass rotton food recipes. :x

[the_dudefather]

DO NOT DRINK THE CHOCOLATE MILK!

(its amost as if my sig was trying to warn you lol)


anyway... my girlfriend's grandparents dont use milk in their cereal, they just use water :) weird

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

my dad does wierd shit to and is definetly insane.

< he passed it onto me when i was young so i need locking up> :lol2

Edit: he was born just after WW2 finished.
(to keep with the topic)

[McClain]

I still partake in a disgusting family recipe that developed from the depression-era. I’m not lying about this at all. It started with my great-grandmother and is still being made by my immediate family to this day.
You mix crunchy peanut butter, mayo, relish and chocolate crème drops and use it as a spread... Just like a sandwich. It's damn good, though.

[FartinMowler]

crunchy peanut butter, mayo, relish and chocolate crème drops

I wouldn't eat that :/ peanut butter and choclate maybe but the mayo and relish is gross.

[ThisIsWitty]

It seems that to save money and for better flavor they would leave out the mayo and relish.

[Seven Force]

I wouldn't eat it with mayo either. :/

[McClain]

I understand what you're thinking. When I first had I didn't know what was inside. I ate it on a sammich and thought, "Damn this is good." Acutally I probably didn't think the word damn because I was only 8. Golly is probably more accurate.
Anyway. It wasn't until after I devoured the shit that I found out what it was composed of. I was STUNNED. STUNNED.
Try it. Seriously. Not too much mayo. Just a bit to smooth it out. And the relish sounds bad, but it gives it a nice texture. More of a "juicy" crunch, ya' know? But it has to be chocolate creme drops. NOTHING ELSE WILL DO! And you'll have to chop them up because they're usually bigger than a hershey's kiss.

I'll probably get killed for sharing the recipe.

[Anonymous]

I can't decide whether to try that or think it's a trap.

[ThisIsWitty]

Just what exactly is a chocolate creme drop?

[Seven Force]

Trap or not, i'll try it.

[the_dudefather]

I can't decide whether to try that or think it's a trap.

like a guy in my high school who claimed non toxic shoe polish on toast was delicious, you slap it on, put it under the grill, then eat it.

to this day i cant determine if he was serious (the guy was a little wackko most of the time with stuff like that)

[McClain]

Just what exactly is a chocolate creme drop?

It's a white candy cream covered in hard chocolate and it's in the shape of a drop. They're kinda' hard to locate. Some candy stores have them. On occasion I'll find them at a drug store. They're kinda' old fashioned-candy. I couldn't eat them alone, but for some bizarre reason they taste good with relish, mayo and pb.

And no, this isn't a trap.

[Maverick Zero Unit]

Hmm... I'm gonna go with McClain on this one. Some of the weirdest things mixed can taste really good. My family has some secret recipes that are really weird, but taste amazing.

[executioneer]

oh ANYTHING tastes good w/ mayonnaise and peanut butter on it :rolleyes

[Maverick Zero Unit]

oh ANYTHING tastes good w/ mayonnaise and peanut butter on it :rolleyes

Actually, Mayo and relish is really good together.

[kahljorn]

I put hot sauce in top ramen and cup of noodles, that's good. When i was at this labor camp once for thanksgiving we got expired but still good eggnog and cereal for breakfast. It tastes good with some things, bland flavorless things, but tastes like crap with lucky charms.

[ThisIsWitty]

we got expired but still good eggnog and cereal for breakfast.

At first I read that wrong and missed the 'but still good eggnog', and I could have sworn it said 'we all got expired'.

:/

[Anonymous]

mcclain, do you mean sweet or dill relish

[McClain]

Sweet.

[MLE]

you bitch. now he wants to make this concoction and make me try it >:

i hate mayo and relish >:

[McClain]

Mayo and relish = tartar sauce, right?

[MLE]

i hate that more >:

[executioneer]

what about mayo and peantu butter

[Sethomas]

And I hate Lapplanders EVEN MORE. >:

[McClain]

= delicious spread

http://www.lapplanders.net/lapp_svenska.jpg