Confessing a Crush

[Miss Modular]

So I'm preparing a gift for a friend of mine. In it, I plan on including a letter.

I have feelings for this guy. What kind of feelings, I don't have to explain. I was wondering if it's a good idea to mention this in my letter to him. For better or worse, It's not the rejection I'm worried about--it's whether or not telling him in this letter is appropiate.

Should I tell him flat out that I like him? Or should I be more discreet?

I don't know what to do. :/

[Helm]

I personally appreciate sincerity unless it's overbearing. I mean, go tell him. I think that's the best way. Beating around the bush is really cute when you're 13, but you're not 13.

[FS]

It's me, right? Right? Right! I knew it. You can tell me. Come on.


A gift seems like a fine opportunity to tell someone how you feel about them, so yeah, I'd say it's appropriate. And I'd try to combine caution with honesty. Telling this guy you like him and would like to see where that goes.

[AChimp]

Stand naked on his lawn and maybe he will get the hint. ;)

But seriously, while telling him in a letter is appropriate, telling him in person comes across as more sincere, IMO. You can express emotions much better in real life than on paper. Same goes for telling someone that you hate them.

[Brandon]

I'm with Chimpy on this one; you should probably do it in person.

[hawaiian mage]

Yeah. More emphasis on considering doing it in person.

While saying it in a letter has the benifit of not having to deal with any awkward responses coming from the hit upon party and let you choose your words very carefully, for those very same reasons it can sort of seem like you are hiding behind your words by not saying it in person.

You probably don't want to be distant when trying to become intimate.

In my opinion any way. [No current partner. May be indicitive.]

[AChimp]

I'm the letter-writing pro around here, BTW.

[FS]

I disagree. I think that using a letter gives the guy some time to think about how he feels for you before jumping to conclusions, while writing a letter gives you the chance to carefully think about what you want to tell him. Of course after that you should quickly (in a few days) get alone with him so you can find out his feelings on the subject.

I'm not saying you have to be some kind of ninja valentine weighing all the chances before you move in for the love-kill, just that if you express your feelings with care, you can at least avoid an awkward, uncomfortable connection between you and him.

Unless you're planning on giving him the present and letter personally and ask him to immediately read it.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I agree with FS...for what it's worth...a note will allow time for it to sink in.....and allow time to formulate a response.

[Helm]

omg she just told me she likes me oh damn I like her too but she caught me off guard and instead of telling her that I love her I told her to go suck her grandma's penis aggghhg stupid stupid stupid

guys, this doesn't happen. If the other person wants also, he's gonna be positive and it'll show even if he's shy or generally a faggot. You do not need time to formulate a reply if you want to be with somebody. The only thing that's gonna be helped by a letter is that the other guy will have come with some completely lame and PC reply like 'look, I really like you but you're just not my type' if he doesn't want you whereas if you discussed this in person you'd get a few tens of seconds of uncomfortable silence, and then the you're not my type silliness.

[AChimp]

See, boys and girls? Responses like that are why Helm gets all kinds of secks. :(

[Helm]

mainly of the goat kind, mind you

[MetalMilitia]

imo its better to do it in person. When you write a letter it can be hard to express what you want to. Even though you can spend a long time writing it and trying to get it sounding right it can be misunderstood or just not make alot of sence to the person reading it. Also you have to wait for them to reply which could take a long time and its not cool waiting for something like that.
You should just talk to the guy over a couple of glasses of beer as that will lower your inhibitions making for a more 'heartfelt' conversation. But be careful not to drink too much or you might start talking about shit or do something stupid.

This is just from my experience you might see things differently.

[AChimp]

Militia makes a good point about being misunderstood. Oh yeah. Yep. Hooo boy... :(

[Terra]

I always tell somebody that I'm interested in deepening things with them, if I feel that way. I've never experienced the awkwardness that can sometimes come from being that up front with anybody. Sometimes things can deepen and sometimes not and we just end up being really good buddies. That's okay too, as far as I'm concerned. There are times that the more I know them the more my feelings are not as deep and I let them know about this too. The same goes for them and I expect this. The point is that I try not to lay awake and obsess over whether to tell them or not.

When it comes to a gift exchange, I don't allow my feelings to interfere with the gift because then it becomes weighted with a double meaning, with the strings tied to it. That clouds the issue and sometimes could place a price on the gift. If the gift is freely given for no other reason than the occasion (birthday, some sort of anniversary or whatever) then I feel that is the best.

The feelings need to be discussed at a later time.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

See, boys and girls? Responses like that are why Helm gets all kinds of secks. :(

I worship Helm as the Greek God that he is.......

[theapportioner]

Get him roaring drunk and seduce him. That is the way.

[the_dudefather]

how long have you known him? and any idea how he feels about you?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Get him roaring drunk and seduce him. That is the way.

tough to do....he's in Greece, I'm in Alabama....

[Miss Modular]

I actually communicate much more clearly in letters. Any mocker who's met me can attest that I'm not much of a talker, so I don't always have the right words to say.

I'm wondering if I ought to send him a note now and the gift later. And when I write this letter, what should I say to him? Should I say "I have a crush on you"? Or something else?

[Helm]

You should tell him in person. Not being much of a talker will be something he's going to eventually come to terms with. You do not want to sell him on your literary prowess, what good will that do you? Besides, unless you write down something that starts with the words YOUR PENIS ENTERS MY VAGINA or whatever you're probably gonna lose the guy half-way through.

Tossing me a letter that read 'I have a crush on you omg omg don't look at me' and then running away would either look cute to me if I wanted you, or retarded if I didn't, so there's your chances.

[Dole]

Express your crush through the medium of breakdance.

[MetalMilitia]

Express your crush through the medium of breakdance.

:lol LMAO. Best post of the day!

[Miss Modular]

Get him roaring drunk and seduce him. That is the way.

tough to do....he's in Greece, I'm in Alabama....

Cosmo's right. He's in the city, I'm stuck in a college town several hours north.

[Terra]

Euw. That's considered long distance, which tends to suck the hairy rod.

How old are both of you?

[Miss Modular]

He's 25, I'm 23.

[Miss Modular]

Because I can't edit:

The distance is nothing I mind, really. Sometimes I'd rather be alone. I don't think I would mind not seeing him too much.

[the_dudefather]

im in a similar scenario, im in scotland, and my 'crush' lives in n.ireland (where i used to live) and im still fighting an imaginary battle in my head thinking what i should do.

hopefully it will all work out before the end credits roll

[Anonymous]

As long as you or he can visit at least once a week I think it could possibly work. Otherwise yer DOOMED :eek

[Miss Modular]

As long as you or he can visit at least once a week I think it could possibly work. Otherwise yer DOOMED :eek

Didn't you and Lenor live really, really far away from each other?

[Anonymous]

Didn't that crash and burn like a balsawood family van?

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on how you define a relationship 'working.' Some seperation is nice at first, so-as to not let the parties forget what being apart is like. But if you're always just left wanting by the limited time made available to you, you're never satisfied. So that, in my opinion, is a failure to 'work.'

Pluswhich? Most of my relationship with Lenor was us talking about how much we wanted to meet, then when I finally got to meet her, I got treated to the 'miscommunication' line, which I was content to swallow whole at the time. Not to say that she's a bad or deceitful person, but having the cajones to tell me on the phone that I wasn't what she was looking for would have been nice. Then again, me being a horny and stupid fucking teenager would have been real nice for me as well. I can't even read some parts of the old boards without being totally embarassed by myself.

I'm doin' great now, though! Honest!
ASDOASIHAADKASARARAGAHGAHRGAh

[ziggytrix]

at least you learned a lot about love, life, and happiness, and all the things that you do best, and i keep tellin you baby you can keep the rest, just give me the love, the life, and happiness.

[Anonymous]

I want to go to another rave :<

[Helm]

I totally kicked your ass on the old boards, chojin. Show emily that thread so she is disgusted and leaves you for me.

[Anonymous]

You said something about raping a cat that I thought was funny and made a cute little picture of an asian guy waving his arms about, but I think the butt-chin still cinched that deal.

[Helm]

Say what you like. Emily is MINE!

[Anonymous]

That may be, but I'm still the one having sex with her. :picklehat

[Helm]

uh, I wouldn't call that sex, exactly.

[Anonymous]

Call it whatever you want, but the fact remains that at the end of the day, she's unclothed and motionless and I'm the one towering over her like the guy on the front of the Doom 2 box.

[Helm]

And tower you do >: What did you break all the DDR machines you used to 'work out' on and now it's back to the monday diet? She's lying there motionless in fear omg omg what is he going to fall on me and break my every bone errriiiiccc

[Anonymous]

YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN???? YOU KNOW WHAT??? THERE WAS NO ULYSSES YOU GULLIBLE BITCH! :wah

[Helm]

DID I MENTION ONCE THAT I LIVE IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE?

[Anonymous]

I HEAR THE FISH ARE REALLY BITING UNDER THE ICE THIS TIME OF YEAR. PRAISE CERES!

[Helm]

ONCE WHEN I WAS PLAYING WITH MY PENIS, I NOTICED A SLIGHT DISCOLORATION ON THE HEAD (LOL NOT ON MY HEAD I MEAN ON THE TIP OF MY PENIS HAHA j/k) AND I RUSHED IN THE BATHROOM TO TRY AND CLEAN THIS FLAKY STRANGE COLOUR OFF MY PENIS. NOW, I WAS ONLY 10 AND ALSO WE ONLY HAD ONE SINK BACK THEN (AH, 400 YEARS OF SLAVERY WILL DO THIS TO ANY FAMILY) SO THERE I WAS, ON MY TOES, TRYING TO EXTEND MY PENIS ENOUGH SO IT REACHED THE RUNNING WATER AND THEN HAHA MY FATHER WALKED IT OMGOSH IT WAS SO AKWARD WE NEVER SPOKE AGAIN :(

[Anonymous]

THIS REMINDS ME OF A GRAND TALE WHEN I WAS A NUBILE YOUNG LAD AND WENT TO THE LAVATORY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. SADLY, I SPOOKED THE CAT WITH MY APPROACH, AND THE TOILET LID CAME CRASHING TO A HALT ON MY UNSUSPECTING MEMBER. I SHAN'T RECALL THE ENTIRE FAMILY INVESTIGATING THE WAILS.

THE AURORA BOREALIS IS APPROACHING. HAVE YOU A NEW COAT?

[Helm]

I LET IT COAT ME IN IT'S SWIRLY MULTICOLOURED VEILS LIKE UH, IN THAT QUACKSHOT LEVEL WHICH REMINDS ME OF THAT OTHER TIME WHEN I FORCED MY CAT TO LICK MY BALLS HAHA j/k I'D NEVER DO THAT GUYS THE CAT WANTED IT I SWEAR THE BITCH WAS ALL OVER ME


OK CHOJIN DO YOU COLOUR INSIDE THE LINES OR ARE YOU ALL HARDCORE FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TO WAAAAaahahahah SWOOO EEEK EEK EEK MORELLO SOLO RAAVVVVEEERRRR AND COLOUR OUTSIDE THE LINES ARE YOU A REAL REBEL? "CAUSE I AM AND OH OH PLUS, PLUS, I ALSO HAVE A PENIS, AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EMILY WILL EVENTUALLY CHOSE ME OVER YOU!

[Anonymous]

SOMETIMES?

I BUY A LARGE BAG OF AUTUMN MIX FROM RITE-AID. IT'S GOT CANDY CORN AND PUMPKINS AND SHIT. AT ANY RATE, THE WHOLE THING GETS EMPTIED INTO MY PANTS. THEN? I JUST SIT IN THE WOODS AND WAIT.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED BY HOW GENTLE A GRIZZLY CAN BE.

[Helm]

OK THIS ONE TIME, A FRIEND OF MINE SAID LIEK DUDE YOU HAVE AN AUTOMATIC TUNER FOR YOUR GUITAR, SO, COULD YOU TUNE ANYTHING ELSE WITH IT? AND NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE WE WERE TRYING TO SHOVE THE LITTLE TUNING BOX AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WASN'T SO LITTLE ACTUALLY BUT OK WE WERE TRYING TO SHOVE IT UP MY ASS AND HE WAS LIKE MAN YOUR FARTS HAVE NO SUSTAIN THE TUNER DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TELL US WHAT NOTE IT'S IN AND NEEDLESS TO SAY SOON ENOUGH WE HAD RIGGED MY WHOLE GUITAR SETUP UP TO A MICROPHONE THAT WAS UP TO MY ASS -HAHA YEAH THATS THE MIC I RECORDED GUITARS FOR YOU WITH- AND WITH DELAY AND REVERB AND EVERYTHING AND I WAS TRYING TO FORCE OUT A FART AND THEN NEEDLESS TO SAY MY DAD WALKED IN HAHA IT WAS AKWARD HE NEVER SUCKED MY DICK AGAIN :(


Oh, C minor, btw

[theapportioner]

Cosmo's right. He's in the city, I'm stuck in a college town several hours north.

Well take the Metro North down to the city and meet up! After all, you need a place to crash... But if you're not so bold, I would suggest being progressively more and more flirty and get a feel for his feelings.

But if you insist on the letter route, I'd make it as chill and non dramatic as you can. Writing a serious letter is like dropping a bomb - can make the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable, not to mention surprised, and from my own experience that has not worked out well.

[The Retro Kat]

Cojin and Helm, ladies and gentlmen.