Shipwreck
Oct 2nd, 2004, 02:53 PM
Alright, ladies and man-ladies, listen up! Have I got some news for you.
As you may or may not have known, G.I. Joe is coming out in volumes, separated by seasons, and then separated against by Parts 1 and 2. So far, three of these volumes are already out.
DO NOT BUY THEM. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE, I HATE YOU.
The problem is that for every one of these volumes that you buy, I've only been receiving a fraction of a penny for royalties. With so many people involved in creating the series, including the people whom the characters were based on, the money needs to be divided among everyone in an "equal" fashion. What that means is that the bigwigs putting the DVDs out get the biggest cut, followed by the producers of the cartoon, and then people like me get chicken shit at the end.
But there is good news. After lengthy negotiations, I have managed to increase my royalties pay! My main argument was that so many of the other Joes have since passed away (either in war-related situations, or various organ diseases brought on by the poor food supply provided to us by the U.S. Government), and most of them don't even have families. The ones that do or did don't deserve any payment whatsoever.
So now, effective starting October 3rd, 2004, for every volume that is sold, I will receive $0.07! I am very pleased with this, and I encourage you all to celebrate my good fortune by helping me pay my bills, whilst you enjoy reliving some of my classic adventures!
Season 1, Part 1 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00014NECG/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd)
Season 1, Part 2 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00028HBNO/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd)
Season 2, Part 1 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002LE9FE/ref=pd_bxgy_text_1/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd&st=)
If you've already purchased any of these, I demand you contact me for an address in which you can send checks to. You have gone out of your way to personally insult me and rape my dream of a comfortable retirement, and you owe me amends in the form of AT LEAST $25.75. The high payment is a reflection of the traumatic experience you have put me through ON TOP of the royalties I deserve.
So what have we learned today? We've learned that you shouldn't go out and buy something until you are aware of who your money is going to. We've learned that Roadblock's family won't be having Christmas this year. And we've learned that if you're old enough and you complain enough, people will give you more money.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. GO JOE!
As you may or may not have known, G.I. Joe is coming out in volumes, separated by seasons, and then separated against by Parts 1 and 2. So far, three of these volumes are already out.
DO NOT BUY THEM. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE, I HATE YOU.
The problem is that for every one of these volumes that you buy, I've only been receiving a fraction of a penny for royalties. With so many people involved in creating the series, including the people whom the characters were based on, the money needs to be divided among everyone in an "equal" fashion. What that means is that the bigwigs putting the DVDs out get the biggest cut, followed by the producers of the cartoon, and then people like me get chicken shit at the end.
But there is good news. After lengthy negotiations, I have managed to increase my royalties pay! My main argument was that so many of the other Joes have since passed away (either in war-related situations, or various organ diseases brought on by the poor food supply provided to us by the U.S. Government), and most of them don't even have families. The ones that do or did don't deserve any payment whatsoever.
So now, effective starting October 3rd, 2004, for every volume that is sold, I will receive $0.07! I am very pleased with this, and I encourage you all to celebrate my good fortune by helping me pay my bills, whilst you enjoy reliving some of my classic adventures!
Season 1, Part 1 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00014NECG/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd)
Season 1, Part 2 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00028HBNO/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd)
Season 2, Part 1 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002LE9FE/ref=pd_bxgy_text_1/104-0020200-4085561?v=glance&s=dvd&st=)
If you've already purchased any of these, I demand you contact me for an address in which you can send checks to. You have gone out of your way to personally insult me and rape my dream of a comfortable retirement, and you owe me amends in the form of AT LEAST $25.75. The high payment is a reflection of the traumatic experience you have put me through ON TOP of the royalties I deserve.
So what have we learned today? We've learned that you shouldn't go out and buy something until you are aware of who your money is going to. We've learned that Roadblock's family won't be having Christmas this year. And we've learned that if you're old enough and you complain enough, people will give you more money.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. GO JOE!