ME AND SANTACLAUS RAP

[bigtimecow]

SantaClaus: Without a doubt?


knife side down: SINGLED OUT.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?

knife side down: BECAUSE I'M FAT
SantaClaus: Hmm. O.K. interesting reasoning.


knife side down: I'D LIKE SOME SEASONING
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.

knife side down: THEN GET SOME BLING BLING
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit

knife side down: SHUT UP PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT
SantaClaus: Agreed. Let's both.


knife side down: AHH, YOU RUINED IT
SantaClaus: Pardon me?



IM SantaClaus on AIM and rap with him!

[FS]

junsdierkens: Hi Santa!
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! :-D Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
junsdierkens: Nice!
SantaClaus: Wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that! O:) Everyone on my good list gets a special gift here on Dec. 22! Until then, to enjoy the fun and games the elves have prepared, type menu.
junsdierkens: Dec. 22? But Christmas isn't until December 25th!
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
junsdierkens: My favorite reindeer is Rudolf!
SantaClaus:
Santa doesn't play favorites when it comes to the reindeer. I love them all equally.
;)
junsdierkens: Yeah yeah, you say that now, but which has the most hospitable ass?
SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
That's a lump of coal for you.
junsdierkens: Are you telling me you want to take a dump in my mouth?
SantaClaus: Are you kidding?
junsdierkens: Are you?
SantaClaus:
My goodness! Get serious.
:-D
junsdierkens: Let's stop beating around the bush here, Chris Cringle. All I want for Christmas... is YOU.
SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.
junsdierkens: Just your snow-frosted north pole will do then. Ho ho ho!
SantaClaus:
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
;)
junsdierkens: Yes!
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
junsdierkens: Why do you insert such large spaces at the end of your sentences?
SantaClaus:
It depends if Christmas is coming or not.
;)
junsdierkens: Kiss me.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
junsdierkens: I'm gonna go now, Santa.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
junsdierkens: Jesus! I don't know, because I'm GOING?
SantaClaus: Sure you do, just tell me.
junsdierkens: You're a pretty bad chatbot. SmarterChild has way more to say.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
junsdierkens: sure.
SantaClaus: Would you like to see some links to other things to help put you in the Christmas spirit?
junsdierkens: STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS, YOU WHORE
SantaClaus:
Only Mrs. Claus has that kind of control over me.
;)
junsdierkens: Back to the sex talk it is!
SantaClaus: =-O
junsdierkens: I know!
SantaClaus: I'm glad you get it.
junsdierkens: Can I sit in your lap?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
junsdierkens: Why don't you touch me where the bathing suit covers?
SantaClaus:
Where, what? I'm an old(ish) man.
;)
junsdierkens: That's never stopped you before.
SantaClaus: Agreed. Let's both.
junsdierkens: w00t
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
junsdierkens: no.
SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.
junsdierkens: You've got all the elves over there?
SantaClaus: What about elves?
junsdierkens: Are they... supple?
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that. ;)
junsdierkens: Doesn't matter, just as long as you and I understand each other. ;)
SantaClaus:
:-D
Now I want you to spread that spirit everywhere you go today!
junsdierkens: Oh, I'll "spread" that "spirit" all right.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :)
junsdierkens: goodbye, Clausie.
SantaClaus: Good bye and have a merry Christmas.
junsdierkens: And God bless us everyone!
SantaClaus: It doesn't matter what faith you are; the holidays are a time of good will toward all
:)
junsdierkens: Right right, God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, Beelzebub and Cthulhu bless us everyone.
SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?
junsdierkens: Except for the cripples
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
junsdierkens: I hate cripples
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
junsdierkens: merry christmas!
SantaClaus:
Merry Christmas to you!
;)

[Dole]

Dole: Helloo Santa!
SantaClaus: I AM SHIT CUNT
Dole: Excuse me?
**santa fucked off at 11:19**

[McClain]

That's the fat bastard we all know and loathe.

[Supafly345]

YouWantToBeAdam: Why are you fat? Flab is not fab nowadays.
SantaClaus: It's not all fat. I'm pretty big-boned, if you know what I mean.
YouWantToBeAdam: Haha, you mean you have a big-boner.
SantaClaus: I should be asking you the same thing. Ho Ho Ho!

[adept_ninja]

antaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.


DKMITG: yeah the elves touched me
SantaClaus: Love them.

DKMITG: no they touched me down there
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!


DKMITG: no they sexualy assaulted me and im going to sue
SantaClaus: I don't respond to that kind of language.
A lump of coal for you.


DKMITG: what your threating me now that I wont get christmas gifts if I tell the cops that they molested me?
SantaClaus: Goodness, that's too much for me to read. I'm talking to so may children and their parents. Could you ask me something a little shorter?


DKMITG: are you in with the elves on this sick scheme?
SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?


DKMITG: your not spreading "the christmas spirit" you are spreading VD and emotional scars
SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?

[Big McLargehuge]

HEY THAT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT

[Schimid]

I actually tried having a real kid conversation with him, and he kept trying to seduce me.

Fuzz Bombshell: Hi Santa!
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! :-D Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started. So, have you been naughty or nice?
Fuzz Bombshell: I've been nice, Santa!
SantaClaus: Outstanding! I'm very happy to hear that! O:-) Everyone on my Good List gets a special gift here on Dec. 22! Now, type menu to enjoy the fun and games the elves have here on AIM for you.
Fuzz Bombshell: What will that do, Santa?
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
Fuzz Bombshell: Santa what's wrong?
SantaClaus: It's not so much the 'what' as it is the 'why'. ;-)
Fuzz Bombshell: Santa stop it. :(
SantaClaus: No, I don't think I will. I'm here to spread the Christmas spirit and I'm going to keep right on doing just that.
Fuzz Bombshell: I just want a train!
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
Fuzz Bombshell: I don't want music, I want a train!
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying. ;-)
Fuzz Bombshell: Santa are you depressed :(
SantaClaus: Of course I am real. As long as you believe in me, I will be real. ;-)
Fuzz Bombshell: I'm sorry, Santa :(
SantaClaus: :-D