ask away

[glowbelly]

i am now an expert at being pregnant so if you have any questions feel free to ask away.

[Mockery]

Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree? :(

[EisigerBiskuit]

Is it possible to get brain damage if you were choked by the umbillical cord before exiting the womb?

[glowbelly]

Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree? :(

to keep from getting knocked up

Is it possible to get brain damage if you were choked by the umbillical cord before exiting the womb?

yes. sorry. :(

[DehydratedPorkMan]

What is the typical nature of someone that comes out blue cuz they had the cord around their neck and had to be yanked out by their legs?

[Karl Hungus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/DehydratedPorkMan/000_0167.jpg

sry. :(

[glowbelly]

karl answered that one perfectly.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

No offense taken. I just wanted to know if that applied to whoever else went through my tribulations. :lol

[GADZOOKS]

How can something so adorable cause so much pain coming out?

[EisigerBiskuit]

Is it possible to get brain damage if you were choked by the umbillical cord before exiting the womb?

yes. sorry. :(
:(

[Matt Harty]

yeah does it hurt???

[glowbelly]

No offense taken. I just wanted to know if that applied to whoever else went through my tribulations. :lol

i doubt you were truly "yanked out." you were breech. most breech babies are taken cesarian. perhaps your mother wanted to risk getting your head stuck in her pelvic bones or having your head ripped off and that's why you were born the way you were.

How can something so adorable cause so much pain coming out?

vagina is small. baby head and body is not. squeeze, push, ouchie.

yeah does it hurt???

does what hurt? being pregnant or giving birth? if your question is the latter, i'm going to assume yes, matt harty, it does hurt...but i can't tell you how badly yet, because i am answering questions about being pregnant not giving birth.

[SMN]

Where do babies come from?

[GADZOOKS]

From clichéd questions..

[Drev]

Glowbelly we suspect that our manx cat is pregnant and will have kittens in the spring. How do we keep the mama from not eating the kittens? :(

[pjalne]

Is it true that if you eat pop rocks when you're pregnant the baby will explode? :x

[EisigerBiskuit]

What happens if you feed the baby while he is still in the womb? :O

[MetalMilitia]

Are you going to eat the plecenta (sp) ?

[pjalne]

If she is, I've got JUST the link:

http://www.geocities.com/virtualbirth/placenta.html

Each placenta weighs approximately 1/6 of the baby's weight. Cut the meat away from the membranes with a sharp knife. Discard the membranes.

Placenta Cocktail:
1/4 cup raw placenta
8oz V-8 juice
2 ice cubes
1/2 cup carrot.
Blend at high speed for 10 seconds

Placenta Lasagne:
Use your favorite Lasagne recipe and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. In 2 tbl. olive oil, quickly saute meat of 3/4 placenta, ground or minced; plus 2 sliced cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/2 diced onion & 2 tbl. tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato.

Placenta Spaghetti:
Cut meat of 3/4 placenta into bite size pieces, then brown quickly in 1 tbl. butter plus 1 tbl. oil. Then add 1 large can tomato puree, 2 cans crushed pear tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tbl. molasses, 1 bay leaf, 1 tbl. rosemary, 1 tsp. ea. of salt, honey, oregano, basil, and fennel. Simmer 1 1/2 hours.

Placenta Stew:
Meat of 3/4 placenta in bite size chunks, 1 potato (cubed), 1/4 cup fresh parsley, 2 carrots, 3 ribs celery, 1 zucchini, 1 large tomato, 1 small onion. Dredge meat in 1 tbl. flour mixed with 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. paprika, pinch of cloves, pinch of pepper, 6-8 crushed coriander seeds. Saute meat in 2 tbl. oil, then add vegetables (cut up) and 4-5 cups of water. Bring to full boil, then simmer for 1 hour.

Placenta Pizza:
Grind placenta. Saute in 2 tbl. olive oil with 4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp. paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme, and 1/4 cup of wine. Allow to stand for 30 minutes, then use with your favorite home made pizza recipe. It's a fine placenta sausage topping.

found at: http://rainforest.parentsplace.com/dialog/get/newf4homebirth1/49/3.html


Placenta Roast:

All "food" should be properly cleaned prior to cooking, and all "food" should be properly cooked prior to eating.

This is a good recipe for placenta, which should NOT go to waste:

INGREDIENTS:

1 to 3 lb. placenta no more than 3 days old
1 large onion
1 large green or red pepper (green will add color to the presentation)
1 cup tomato sauce
1 sleeve of saltine crackers
1 tsp crab or shrimp seasoning
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp white pepper
1 clove garlic (roasted and minced)

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Chop onion and green or red pepper in small cubes. Place in large bowl. Crush saltines into crumbs and add to onion and pepper cubes.

COMBINE IN LARGE BOWL:

Placenta, seafood seasoning, pepper, garlic, and tomato sauce. Place into aluminum loaf pan. Cover and bake for 1 and 1/2 hours, occasionally pouring off excess liquid. Retain liquid for gravy base if desired.

[MetalMilitia]

Glowbelly we suspect that our manx cat is pregnant and will have kittens in the spring. How do we keep the mama from not eating the kittens? :(

Il answer this one glow.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/176659.9/yourcat.jpg

:eek

"Lock it in a cuboard."

[Anonymous]

If she is, I've got JUST the link:

http://www.geocities.com/virtualbirth/placenta.html
what the fuck

[executioneer]

yeah i heard about that placenta is supposedly the only meat a vegan can eat :lol

[GADZOOKS]

You are what you eat.

[executioneer]

man i wish they had a recipe for placenta nachos i got all this placenta in the freezer

[Rongi]

:lol

[glowbelly]

Where do babies come from?

storks :rolleyes

Glowbelly we suspect that our manx cat is pregnant and will have kittens in the spring. How do we keep the mama from not eating the kittens? :(

i'm not an expert on kitty pregnancy, but i'm pretty sure that the mama will not eat her kittens unless something is wrong with them and they are going to die anyways. or is that hamsters? i dunno. perhaps you should ask jeanette.

Is it true that if you eat pop rocks when you're pregnant the baby will explode? :x

no, but it may get the hiccups!

What happens if you feed the baby while he is still in the womb? :O

ummm, it grows?

Are you going to eat the plecenta (sp) ?

good god, no. but i might donate his cord blood.

[executioneer]

but the nachos :(

[glowbelly]

you want me to send you my placenta?

[executioneer]

no i was just kidding :(

i mean what if it turns out to be GOOD what am i gonna do if i get a hankerin' for it >:

[executioneer]

lol mods could you change my title to "Hankerin' for Placenta" please :(

[the_dudefather]

what if your baby had secretly escaped your womb during the night and left a pillow inside so you'd be none the wiser

[GADZOOKS]

That's why they have leashes.

[glowbelly]

no i was just kidding :(

i mean what if it turns out to be GOOD what am i gonna do if i get a hankerin' for it >:

you could always get a girl pregnant :O

what if your baby had secretly escaped your womb during the night and left a pillow inside so you'd be none the wiser

i would know cause i have to do kick counts and pillows don't kick >:

[executioneer]

you could always get a girl pregnant :O


:(

[executioneer]

i wonder if there's any websites out there on how to make cheese out of breastmilk (that would go great on nachos dont you think ;) ;) )

[GADZOOKS]

I can make a mean martini with baboon sweat.

[executioneer]

what does that have to do

[Evil Robot]

Jacob Lane is a street, not a name. Your child will appear on street maps and people will ask taxi drivers for him. :(

[glowbelly]

can you rephrase that in a form of a question?

[alteret_13]

Placenta Cocktail:
1/4 cup raw placenta
8oz V-8 juice
2 ice cubes
1/2 cup carrot.
Blend at high speed for 10 seconds

Placenta Lasagne:
Use your favorite Lasagne recipe and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. In 2 tbl. olive oil, quickly saute meat of 3/4 placenta, ground or minced; plus 2 sliced cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/2 diced onion & 2 tbl. tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato.

Placenta Spaghetti:
Cut meat of 3/4 placenta into bite size pieces, then brown quickly in 1 tbl. butter plus 1 tbl. oil. Then add 1 large can tomato puree, 2 cans crushed pear tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tbl. molasses, 1 bay leaf, 1 tbl. rosemary, 1 tsp. ea. of salt, honey, oregano, basil, and fennel. Simmer 1 1/2 hours.

Placenta Stew:
Meat of 3/4 placenta in bite size chunks, 1 potato (cubed), 1/4 cup fresh parsley, 2 carrots, 3 ribs celery, 1 zucchini, 1 large tomato, 1 small onion. Dredge meat in 1 tbl. flour mixed with 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. paprika, pinch of cloves, pinch of pepper, 6-8 crushed coriander seeds. Saute meat in 2 tbl. oil, then add vegetables (cut up) and 4-5 cups of water. Bring to full boil, then simmer for 1 hour.

Placenta Pizza:
Grind placenta. Saute in 2 tbl. olive oil with 4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp. paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme, and 1/4 cup of wine. Allow to stand for 30 minutes, then use with your favorite home made pizza recipe. It's a fine placenta sausage topping.

found at: http://rainforest.parentsplace.com/dialog/get/newf4homebirth1/49/3.html


Placenta Roast:

All "food" should be properly cleaned prior to cooking, and all "food" should be properly cooked prior to eating.

This is a good recipe for placenta, which should NOT go to waste:

INGREDIENTS:

1 to 3 lb. placenta no more than 3 days old
1 large onion
1 large green or red pepper (green will add color to the presentation)
1 cup tomato sauce
1 sleeve of saltine crackers
1 tsp crab or shrimp seasoning
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp white pepper
1 clove garlic (roasted and minced)

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Chop onion and green or red pepper in small cubes. Place in large bowl. Crush saltines into crumbs and add to onion and pepper cubes.

COMBINE IN LARGE BOWL:

Placenta, seafood seasoning, pepper, garlic, and tomato sauce. Place into aluminum loaf pan. Cover and bake for 1 and 1/2 hours, occasionally pouring off excess liquid. Retain liquid for gravy base if desired. :x :shocked
did i mention thatTHAT IS FUCKED UP

[alteret_13]

yea my sister is pregant
when is his b-day exacly?[/b]

[Esuohlim]

Do you want to eat pickles like all the time these days?

[pjalne]

i wonder if there's any websites out there on how to make cheese out of breastmilk (that would go great on nachos dont you think ;) ;) )

If I was a woman and I had a baby, I'd do an experiment where I'd eat or drink nothing but what came out of my own body to see how long I could survive as a self-sustained eco system.

Oh, and a question for Glowbelly: why would anyone want the cord blood? Is this a stemcell thing?

[glowbelly]

yea my sister is pregant
when is his b-day exacly?[/b]

i don't know as HE HASN'T BEEN BORN YET. however, if you would like to place a wager on when he is coming feel free to click the link in my sig that says "BABY POOL." every guess will cost you a dollar. you can send donations via paypal at p0lymn1a@hotmail.com.

Do you want to eat pickles like all the time these days?

not really :( sometimes i go by the pickle aisle in the grocery store and think to myself that i should buy some, just because. i have more of a reactionary obsession with certain foods. for instance, this morning when brian got home from plowing, his hands were freezing so i told him to put 'em under my armpits (we are in love so this isn't as gross as it sounds) and then i put my armpits down and i said, "see? it's like 2 little waffle irons!" then i groaned out in my best homer simpson impression, "*droolygurgle* waffles." i immediately headed out to the store and got me some. if i hadn't, i would have wanted them all day and would not have been satisfied until i had one. ps: they were delicious.


Oh, and a question for Glowbelly: why would anyone want the cord blood? Is this a stemcell thing?

yeah, it's for the stemcells. we would have liked to bank the cord blood for our son and for our family, but it's way too expensive to do that here. our alternative is to donate the cord blood to an organization such as the red cross. they bank the blood for free, but don't hold it for you. however, they are really good about letting you know the registration numbers, etc...in case you ever do need it and it hasn't been used by someone else before you. also, if you donate it and then you come to find that you are in need of a procedure that may be aided by stemcells and your donation has been used already, they will try their best to find you a match that isn't yours. :)

[Jimbuktu]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Jimbuktu/moray1.jpg

[kellychaos]

Katie Couric did a piece wherein she was examined rectally with an orthoscopic lens in order for her dedicated viewers to learn more about the inner workings of her colon. Fascinating, to say the least! Are you planning something similiar?