What has happened to cartoons?

[FS]

Most of us grew up with some of the best cartoon series ever made: Transformers, GI Joe, Masters of the Universe, TMNT, Thundercats, Captain Pla- uhm, etc. These were quality shows, renewing and consistent most of the time. It may just be that I've gotten older, but when I see some cartoons nowadays I feel like they've all gone down the shitter.

Ever since Power Rangers (or possibly before that), cartoons have gotten all kinds of negative Japanimation influences and are starting to all follow the same pattern. I mean, a character can't even fire a gun anymore without jumping 500 feet into the air while screaming the gun's name. I was going to make a joke here about how I don't jump into the air shouting "RIGHT FIST" during a fight, but today I was watching the latest incarnation of Transformers (with the Autobots and Predacons, a couple of Manga-ish humans, and Optimus Prime with a weird round head), and an Autobot actually jumped into the air saying "SHOULDER DASH!" before throwing himself against a Predacon - without use of thrusters or something similar, I might add. It's becoming really ridiculous.

Next to that, cartoon-producing companies seem to be saving a shitload of money by recycling material. Cartoons might have a sequence where the characters transform, apply armor or weapons, or call upon vehicles or robots (which may also transform, or connect), and these scenes are made into a huge deal which takes up half the episode, and then are re-used in every episode. This is particularly popular in the shows where the heroes are color-coordinated, each have their own weapon, animal and element, and together make supermegasomething - every episode.

And villains. Even the old classics had their share of goofy and useless bad guys, but nowadays there's always one guy who's actually smart and evil, and all of his minions are useless and stupid, constantly messing up and performing slapstick action. The only reason they're not all destroyed in the first episode is because they flee as soon as the odds are turning in a battle, and the heroes are too kind-hearted to make an effort at permanently putting them down. At least in the old Transformers cartoon, they actually tried to kill each other.

It seems like even the producers know their shows are constantly repeating the same shit over and over again, because every few episodes, they need to introduce a new element. Usually this is an upgrade of one or more of the characters, with new abilities and weapons. Other times it's a new characters with a personality you could have seen coming from a mile away.

The storylines are nothing worth watching anymore. There's the kid who's on the trail of his long lost father, the heroes who're trying to find a way home, the protectors of Earth who have to defend the planet from destruction or domination every single episode.

And that's not even mentioning the flood of Pokemon-influenced shows. They're not even trying to hide the fact that they want kids to buy their stuff anymore - characters in cartoons now actually use the trading cards as weapons. What's the name of that show where everyone fights using dreidels? Jewish Cyber Death Warriors?

[James]

Based on SomethingAwful's After-Action Reports for GI Joe, I think you mght wanna take a look back and see some of the episodes again. ;) After all, your whole perspective will be changed when you rewatch some of your old favorites.

But you're right. While some of the cartoons just sucked and we didn't know it, most of them were quality cartoons. But now, if you can find a show doesn't have something to do with "collecting them all," then you are very lucky.

And they make cartoosn for everything now. Beyblades? How the fuck do you make a Pokemon-style cartoon about spinning tops? Yu-Gi-Oh or however it's spelled, just runs off statistics that only die-hard 6 year olds understand. And the list goes on.

[Protoclown]

I have every episode of the old GI JOE cartoon on tape, and I've gone back and watched a lot of them, and they STILL kick ass! Yeah, they're cheesy as shit, but that's why they're so fun.

FatSatan, I couldn't agree more with what you've said here. This is the kind of thing that would make a good Visionary Darkness article or mini-mock.

[mew barios]

i like yu-gi-oh. :> but i would like any konami forged anime. :fanboy

and i like jackie chan's cartoon too. it is clever and fun. :o

um.. actually that's all i watch. cartoons do suck now. :(

[James]

I hated that Jackie Chan movie. They couldn't even get Jackie to do his own voice. Instead, they got someone who could do the most stereotypical asian voice they could.

And GI Joe just sucks. It's beyond that "cool" level of lameness like Evil Dead has. The whole cartoon was poorly animated and filled with meaningless plot. Just go over to SA and see for yourself. >:

And Yu-Gi-Oh isn't created by Konami, is it?

[Protoclown]

And GI Joe just sucks. It's beyond that "cool" level of lameness like Evil Dead has. The whole cartoon was poorly animated and filled with meaningless plot. Just go over to SA and see for yourself. >:

Uhhh... I just SAID that I have all the episodes on tape and I've watched them myself. Why do I need to go to Something Awful so they can tell me what to think?

I fucking enjoy the shit out of them still. Yeah, I laugh at them a lot more than I used to, but in some ways they're even more fun now because of that.

That's great that Something Awful evidently thinks they're crap. I don't care.

[mew barios]

i never saw any movie o.o i jus watch it on th teebee.

and it is indeed created by konami. some of those monsters have a very heavy castlevaniaish influence in them. and that i luv. :o there's also some not-so-subtle ddr advertisements in an episode or two. i wish they made a castlevania anime instead though. :( but that'll never happen.

[Zomboid]

I agree. I was watching stuff like "darkwing duck" when I was a kid, but I still agree. There's way too much of this anime inspired crap these days.

[James]

Uhhh... I just SAID that I have all the episodes on tape and I've watched them myself. Why do I need to go to Something Awful so they can tell me what to think?

That's right. >:

But seriously, I catch an episode late on Cartoon Network here and there. It just kills me. But then again, it is the classic "elaborate plan that does jack shit, only to be easily thwarted by the heroes." I guess that is worth something.

But I could just never sit down and say how cool GI Joe is. :(

[Jixby Phillips]

YOGI BEAR

[Ninjavenom]

The yu-gi-oh card game isn't that bad, actually. My cousin and I played it a few times over the summer when he was staying here. It's a fun game, and very easy to learn. The Jackie Chan cartoon is pretty neat, also.

I completely agree with you fatty, new transformers does indeed suck massive amounts of ass. I love how there's a mexican kid and no killing now. Very PC.

[MrAdventure]

SHIRT TALES YALL

TTOOIIINNNGGG!

[noob3]

Why the fuck does anyone play Yu-Gi-Oh when you can play Magic the Gathering?

[Skulhedface]

Because Magic is SO 1995 :rolleyes

[Zbu Manowar]

I've been watching GI Joe on Saturday Nights and so far it's proved superior to a lot of cartoons today. Sure, it's not fucking gold and a few of the episodes were obviously written in a day to get past the whole Joes/Cobra angle...but come on, just because they were crudely animated doesn't mean they suck as much ass as most of the toons today.

Let's face it: what made Joes and Transformers and Thundercats wasn't the animation values, it was because the people who wrote this had a good sense of dramatic license and knew how to tell a good story (even if the voices didn't portray it) or knew how to make it all seem real. Today's cartoons look like they're written by a group of mothers with a vague handle on what appeals to children and a less grasp on the drama of it all. To them, conflict is something that could be talked over and about...which is a pretty damn naive thing to tell children.

So, in short, cartoons back then were great because they saved all the unimportant educational shit for the end and one line instead of shoveling it up kids's asses during the whole fucking thing.

[FS]

That's a good point. Anyway, I think it's at least ten years since I last saw a GI Joe episode, so I can't really make a clear judgement on those anymore. And if I saw it now, I'd probably be laughing too hard to see any negativity.

The only good cartoons I see nowadays, I think, are made for older people, with jokes the kids probably won't pick up on.

[Zbu Manowar]

And even then, they're not meant to be taken as any serious drama. Back in the '80s we were witness to Optimus Prime getting killed.....think the kids of today will see Pikachu getting blasted like that? Hell no.

[FS]

Transformers really had some of the best characters ever, and I don't mean their looks. Optimus Prime was this gritty leader who had a good 'heart' and all, but he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty and take on Decepticons in hands-on brawl. On the other side, Megatron managed to keep all the Decepticons in FEAR. Occasionally someone would try to slip something past him (mainly Starscream), but none would dare to openly cross him. Even though none of them really were dumb, or clumsy. Starscream was a snivelling coward, but he wasn't stupid. It's just completely different from any cartoon show I ever saw.

They managed to make Bumblebee/Goldbug look cool and tough. That's something not many people would be able to do.

I really need to get my hands on all of the old Transformers episodes. In my memory the episodes with Rodimus Prime and Galvatron were a little less than the originals, but one of the episodes that stuck with me the most is of that time: it's the one where the Autobots find Optimus Prime's "corpse" and re-activate it, only it's been secretly sabotaged by the Quintessons so that he's torn between good and evil (Rodimus tries to make him accept the Matrix back, but it hurts him to wear it). In the end, Optimus dies again. They don't dare to do stuff like that anymore today.

[James]

Gargoyles was like that.

Just this morning, I was talking to Zomboid about an episode where Broadway is playing with Elisa's gun, and accidentally shoots her.

Or the time that the three Hunters were after the gargoyles, and in the end, one of the Hunters shoots his brother by accident, paralyzing him.

Guns are fun.

[Skulhedface]

Today's cartoons look like they're written by a group of mothers with a vague handle on what appeals to children and a less grasp on the drama of it all.

I half agree with you. The other half is blatant commercialism. See, in the 80s, God bless them, the TOYS were the basis for the cartoons. GI Joe, Transformers and He-Man were basically three of the biggest action figure vehicles of the 80s, but you fell in with the stories and the action, and the cartoons are still watchable today.
Now, however, the SHOWS drive the ACTION figures, i.e. new characters are introduced SQUARELY to sell new toys. I agree that even in the 80s cartoons were commercials, essentially, but they were still god damn enjoyable. The main difference is that it's more or less still happening by sacrificing much more. I think a suit-type figured out that the less story they had, and the more blatant "gotta catch 'em all!" that was included, they make more money. Profits. And it's sad that childhood is being tarnished and insulted all to make sure a bigwig's wife gets her silicone tits before their holiday in the Bahamas. They aren't even trying to HIDE the fact that they're laughing all the way to the bank.

There was only one cartoon that renewed my faith in humanity, until Nickelodeon took it over, and of course that's Ren and Stimpy, but rejoice, because the original creators have the rights back and since it will be geared toward adults this time around we can finally see a quality toon.

[Zbu Manowar]

Oh, there's no avoiding that angle. But then again, when they were doing an obvious product push that character either took a back seat if he/she was allowed to stay, was ushered off on a 'never to speak again' basis, or took on a life of its own. Hell, the Dinobots were like that and they just came into their own.

Speaking of which, weren't the Dinobots considered the uncontrollable loose cannons of the Autobots? I vaguely remember them being in some kind of stasis until the shit hit the fan, then they were pulled out to do some damage. You don't see enough of that true anti-hero stuff nowadays outside of Wolverine clones.

[Skulhedface]

The only case of that I can remember is from the second Transformers movie, which it's been so long since I've seen that I'm running on PURE memory here.

it's the one where Megatron is trying to pull Cybertron close to Earth so that Cybertron's gravity would destroy the Earth, and they had to call the Dinobots to help brace the damage that was about to be done. The Dinobot leader (Grimlock?) was reluctant at first because he personally wasn't going to gain anything from it, but Optimus Prime pointed out that if Earth was destroyed, he would be as well, so the Dinobots agreed.

The only reason I bring it up is because it's the only instance I can remember and it supports your post.

[whoreable]

I was amazed when i watched the saturday moring cartoons and they had two pokemon clones. one with food instead of pokemon and the other with tops. it is ridiculous. But i do think that the new ninja turtles would probaly be better than the old one if you watched them side by side.

[pissed off salesman]

oh and lets not forget zim.nickelodeon showed the glorius episode and yoinked it right out, like tormenting a dog with the worlds tastiest cold cut. and plus vasquez even tried to make it seem like there was a moral but when any cahrachter began to say or do something moral he got blasted in the face or get hit by a flaming car. that was great! curse nickelodeon for their shameless profiteering!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I watched a Rainbow Brite movie the other day (the one with the Princess and the crystal planet that was getting wrapped up), and was kinda shocked. I mean, Rainbow Brite actually killed the princess. And they kept talking about how if the planet was gone and winter continued to endure, they would all die.

I probably would have started crying if I'd seen all that when I was 4 :tear

Okay, I was crying all night anyway.

[Anonymous]

I like the Fairly Oddparents. There's a lot of slap-stick stuff, plus a lot of jokes that very few kids would really understand.

Also, Tokyo Pig is the shizzit.

[Ninjavenom]

Good call on the oddparents, boogie.

They showed that Rainbow Brite movie at school when i was in first grade (:eek) Chojin. :O

Transforers did indeed have the best characters. I always loved soundwave. He was the king of all transformers, without a doubt. You piss him off, he'll toss a rabid dog-tape at you to eat your transformer-guts! :hypno

[Zomboid]

But i do think that the new ninja turtles would probaly be better than the old one if you watched them side by side.

No fucking way. The new one isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it's got some things I really don't like about it. The anime shit, for one thing. The original made em out to be ninjas, but this new one seems like it's trying to go too far with it. I wouldn't be surprised if in a future episode they all sat around drinking tea and praying to the dragon god or some shit.

I agree with james about gargoyles. It was a pretty mature show... for the year and for a disney toon, anyway. In the first episode, a bunch of gargoyles get killed while they're asleep (in stone). They'd never even do that these days. I also really liked batman: the animated series and the 2 sequel series.

[Daphne]

I dunno about the Turtles thing. Were you a fan of the comic? The first episode was almost takend verbatim from the comic book.

I just can't get over how gay the theme song is, and I hate the 'shell' jokes.

[whoreable]

I agree the theme song is so fucking lame it make me want to cry.
as for the shell jokes, although i agree I am willing to bet that the original has a billion of em too.

The original was awesome at the time, but if I watched it now it would probaly painful to watch.

[Ninjavenom]

I have two of them on tape. They still rock ass, though michaelangelo can be too "rad" at times. :/

[Zomboid]

I have two of them on tape. They still rock ass, though michaelangelo can be too "rad" at times. :/

Same, on both things. But it was aimed at kids and it was in the early 90's (mainly).

[JackChick]

Cartoons of today annoy me. A LOT.

First of all, there's pokemon.

Pokemon is probably pretty decent in Japan. But in Canada, it SUCKS. I mean, how hard is it to make a good show about monsters beating the crap out of each other?

Not very. But these people are dumber than average people(Who are dumber than rutabagass). Instead of making a good show with blood and gore and actual humor, we get an idiot, a personality-less person and a guy who gets a boner at anything.

Bah.

Then, Mucha Lucha. Mucha Lucha doesn't seem to be all that good since the main guys suck ass. You have a guy who MIGHT be a pinball, a psychotic fleaman(the one good guy) and a thing so dull that light itself cannot escape it. Why this is even more sad, however, is that nigh every other character in the series is more interesting, from 200 pound scarecrows to a guy with a 3-foot tall brain on his head.

And the brain guy needs its own show.

Finally, there's sailor moon. Sailor moon is pathetic beyond belief. They edited all the violence out!

Bah. Old cartoons are much better.

Note: After Power Rangers, there came season 2-4 of Reboot, which truly whooped ass.

[Zomboid]

Hey, back when pokemon was pretty new in north america, almost everyone 13 and under watched it. At the time it really wasn't that bad if you ignored the really lame stuff :/

[JackChick]

Although NOW.....

[ItalianStereotype]

why are you watching pokemon now?

[JackChick]

I'm not. I just said it was crap.