choji!

[pants/rewind]

NOTICE FROM CHOJIN ON THIS THREAD:

This thread obviously violates the rules and guidelines. To you, the reader: Don't make a thread like this, ever, unless you are interesting. Actually, unless you are interesting to ME.

what is up man this is noob3 let us chat via posts

[pants/rewind]

omg he left :( i feel so ugly :(

[Anonymous]

i'm stil here

[Anonymous]

what's up man

[pants/rewind]

how did you reply so fast

[Anonymous]

i'm an admin

[pants/rewind]

nothing much man i dont have a job anymore cuz my shitty pizza place i worked at got bought man ;( on the first day they worked there they tried to fuck me out of my tips. so me, 2 delivery drivers and 1 cook left. which was roughly 4/5 of the entire workforce before the new people bought it. 3/5s of the people lived together, though.

so im broke and bored ;p

[Anonymous]

you know i still have your phone number but i never really felt it would make sense to call

[Anonymous]

are you still with your psychopathic treasure troll girlfriend

[pants/rewind]

yeah one time blackflag called me and he said it was wierd :(

[pants/rewind]

treasure troll? yes im still with her ;p are you still with that one lady

i think she wore a beanie?

[pants/rewind]

are you like a mod or somthing now? because you should give me a title thats cool

[Anonymous]

i'm still with emily, though last I talked to you i think I was still dating julia.

but she has a cunt disease and is pregnant now so I think i won in the end

so did you get a new computer or what

[Anonymous]

yeah, i'm an admin, it's like being a mod, only you can dick with anything on the board too, like forum titles

but speaking of titles, sure, you paid for one before, so what do you want

[pants/rewind]

well this is a computer that i had in my kitchen along time ago, im not suppose to be using it (girlfriend dosnt want me to ;p). it was broken but it just had to be rebooted

[pants/rewind]

yeah.. i paid for one.. i rememebr that. mmm hmm.

i dont know what i want for a title :( how about.. "I love Bubbles!" or somthing. thats probably lame. i dont know :(

[Anonymous]

i seriously can't believe you're still dating her if she regulates your time like she's a mom from the 50s and you're 13.

[Anonymous]

why aren't you posting as Noob3?

[pants/rewind]

because she moderates this shit man i'm on a tight leash. i guess i love her, you know? its wierd ;p

[Anonymous]

That's what you said liek 2 years ago man. It isn't healthy at all. You're just gonna end up being a drunken, high fat man living in a doublewide while she sleeps around and comes come with cigarette butts in her cooter

i speak from experience

i should probably mention that anyone that posts in this thread that i don't approve of will have their posts deleted.

*oh look you have an avatar now

[pants/rewind]

haha i dont know man. we argue sometimes (alot.) and she dosnt have any friends. she complains when we hang out with mine. i have a million tales of her getting fucking crazy over stupid shit. i dont know what i'd do with out her. i wear and engagment ring. ;p

[pants/rewind]

oh and some of the time i want to smash my face into things when im with her. she says im abusive and yell at her when im just trying to get my point across. i raise my voice yeah but isnt that common practice for somone who wont listen? im a nice guy. i swear to god. she fucks with my head and makes me feel liek a terrible person

[Anonymous]

maybe you should have her committed.

seriously though i guess there's no point in talking about it since I couldn't talk you out of it two years ago and now you've had plenty of time to become even more codependent

are you still not allowed to visit me?

and why aren't you on Noob3 ;<

[Anonymous]

oh and dude totally, emily tells me i'm yelling at her all the time and i'm just like 'what the hell i'm not even raising my voice' and she's like 'you're being accusatory and it's the same thing as yelling' and i'm like 'god damnit why didn't i marry jin when I HAD THE CHANCE :tear'

i'd tell you more stories but this is kinda public

[noob3]

does this tickle your vagina

yeah im hella codependent. :x if we ever broke up id fall into a stupid depression

[Anonymous]

maybe we should adopt you. my company's doing pretty well right now and we're making a deal with a major arcade manufacturer/distributor soon so we'll have the money ;>

[noob3]

dont we all wish we married jin ;(

[Anonymous]

seriously. I plan on visiting him after we get money, I should totally take you with me. And you shouldn't tell your girlfriend where you're going. With any luck, she'll have killed herself before we return.

[noob3]

adopt me? arcades? tell me more :o

[noob3]

dude id love to hang out with you or some of the other rare cool people here. one time, my friend billkosby was planning a roadtrip to chicago to hang out with our mutual internet friend purekovak. this would involve alot of drugs and alot of fastfood which would be alot of fun. and free save for gas and expenses. but my girlfriend threw a fit saying that billkosby (rygo of snagglepuss fame) was just going to try and molest my ass. shortly after she destroyed my computer (different reason) and i have never heard from either of them again! they were good friends! on the internet, though. but that dosnt matter

ONLY SHE TELLS ME IT DOESNT AND THEY ARNT MY REAL FRIENDS BECAUSE SHE HATES ME

edited because some of it didnt make sense

[Anonymous]

yeah we're making an arcade dance game. http://www.neonfm.com it's pretty hot shit and our cabinet's about half done right now. We met with a huge arcade manufacturer/distributor last week in new jersey and they were very interested and are gonna fly down to see the machine as soon as it works in any way.

i also got emailed by konami's legal department yesterday. haha. they just wanted more info on the game for NOW :eek

[noob3]

holy shit that is awsome dude. i love video games all i do is play smashbrothers/pacman/warioware/galaga anymore that is my passtime and my girlfriend. i cant even smoke herb anymore because im being drugtested (only 5 more weeks! yay!)

i dont know if id be any use to your people though im useless

[Anonymous]

oh and i'm a way better friend to you than that harlot ever will be >:

[Anonymous]

i'm not saying you'd be useful, i just want to hang out. I was kidding about the adoption thing.

maybe we can buy frozen pizzas and hire you to cook and deliver them to us

[noob3]

shes friendly enough :( we were suppose to go find rocks for her garden today but it was too cold. so we went to my friends house and she complained about random shit.

[noob3]

why do you have to kid around with somthing like that dont you know my only true desire in life is to be loved and accepted by all for my true self :(

[noob3]

i shouldnt triple post so much but i make a hardcore frozen pizza. brown in all the places it should be! yum.

edit - im going to smoke my last cigarette ( i cant smoke in here ) so ill be back in like 5 minutes

[Anonymous]

i think you're too old to legally adopt now anyway, aren't you?

but uh i dunno if you actualyl wanna move we could help you out for a while and help you find a job here and stuff. baltimore in general is way better than more cities in the US

[Anonymous]

although we do have old plans to move to australia. that'd be hardcore except they have to keep your pets in quarantine for 6 months.

what the fuck is up with that, huh?

* that's cool i need to make some chop suey anyway I'll take a break TOO

[Anonymous]

i'm back now

[noob3]

yeah. i'm 18, 19 next month. i need to get a job and get my ged (yes i am way behind fuck all of you guys) and go to college or somthing to make hella money. anywhere but oklahoma would be fantastic. i dont know about the pet thing, that's fucked up. i dont have any pets. i have alot of cats that live at my house, i dont know whose those are though. we feed them.

since ive had a girlfriend i have accomplished nothing. i had a job for 10 months. total money saved: $0.00. i spent it all on bullshit. mostly eating with my girlfriend, gas (its a 35 minute drive to her house, which was always welcome after driving pizza for 14 hours. dont ask why i drove pizza for 14 hours. my job sucked) and CDs.

i use to be good at drawing. now i suck ass. at everything. exept mother fucking gay ass super smash brothers

[Anonymous]

that's what I'm telling you, she's ruining your life, man, and she's gonna keep doing it until you suck it up and take the ensuing depression from losing your first girlfriend.

it really sucks, probably the worst I've ever felt in my life (breaking up with my first girlfriend). It's somewhere between pro wrestling school and boot camp. But you aren't going anywhere right now.

I remember talking to amber about her life goals and she wanted to break away from her pot-smoking friends and shitty small-town life, but I don't know if she ever did. I don't really talk to her anymore.

[noob3]

i dont know man. being with her has it's ups. it's jsut so sentimental, you know? being with the only person youve been with. and for such a long time. when i think about not being with her there's some plus sides but its mostly

im a loser with loser friends and ive got nothing going for me. atleast she's somthing, you know? why suck when you can suck with somone who wants to cuddle you and cook you steak. but then the bitching sets in and your like what the fuck

[Anonymous]

i realize it's a comfortable downward spiral, but your option is to either do nothing with your life because it's convenient or break out of it and make an effort away from all that crap.

i never went to college, for the record. I fucking hated school ;<

[Anonymous]

dude your post in marine's thread made me cackle ;<

[noob3]

perhaps its too comfortable. she has goals and she wants me to accomplish the goals ive set for myself. but we never get anything done.

is this fucked up? (keep in mind she says its very fucked up that i even mention it to her and treats me like im a fucking greedy douche) we live off of our parents money.

i get $30 dollars. her parents give her $25. this is on one day. i buy a pack of cigarettes. i buy gas. i buy food. okay. these all sound like decent purchases, yes? but im buying these things for 2 people. why? because she decides she can spend $20 on weed, give me the $5 and say that i should buy cigarettes with it. okay we smoke alot of cigarettes. i cant even smoke weed right now. she expected me to pay for everything and not bitch while she got high.

man. i dont know why im complaining about this. i dont want to seem cheap but i just think its fucked up

[noob3]

i dont know why i made that post but that issue is bugging me. am i a cunt or is she the greedy one?

[Anonymous]

tell her to stop buying drugs, or at least cut her off from what you buy until she contributes.

it just sounds like she's using you partly for your money but mostly because you're both incredibly co-dependent. She realizes the situation sucks and figures she might as well get something productive out of the deal and makes you buy her shit.

I probably would have kicked her through a wall if I were you by now.

[Anonymous]

like in The Incredibles

[Anonymous]

in the office scene.

[noob3]

everyone says that, man. i dont know. i dont have a problem with her buying weed but when i can't even smoke and she knows i really want to, and then she just fucking spends all of her money (money is scarce when your getting it from your parents) on weed and leaves me to feed us on like $10 to eat on after all the gas getting back and fourth from her house and cigarettes. i cant even mention money to her because she throws a fit and makes me feel like the bad guy

[noob3]

ive never seen the incredibles :( she said it looked gay

[Anonymous]

she throws a fit so that you won't ask her again so she can get away with it.

women are a lot more conniving than you give them credit for

[Anonymous]

and dude that is it I'll kill her for you the Incredibles is the best movie ever

[noob3]

i never thought of it that way. the conniving. and her telling me that so i wouldnt ask about it anymore. fuck. man

was it really that great? we see alot of movies in the theatre but never the incredibles. i think we saw white noise instead. boy, that one sucked. we thought it would be good, too :(

[Anonymous]

the incredibles was fucking amazing, dude

[noob3]

im so hungry man we dont even have bread at my house

there's a commercial for the dvd. the jack jack attack thing looks really gay

[noob3]

can that be my title?

"I'm so hungry, man. There's not even bread at my house."

or is that too long. itd be awsome!

[Anonymous]

yeah jak jak attack isn't too hot but it's an extra. it's kinda funny I guess but nothing spectacular ;<

we ahve tons of cans of pasta here and noodles and pasta sauce

and i'm not even like a millionth italian

* i can make the first part your title.

[noob3]

oh dude fazoli's sounds so bomb. spaghetti and meatballs, mr pibb and free breasticks omg omg omg

id settle for the canned stuff though. or just the noodles

i looove italian. im french/scottish/irish. no italian in me either :(

[noob3]

wait is FRANCE FROM ITALY?

[Anonymous]

i'm welsh/german/other crap

and no

and i could kinda go for some angel hair pasta but i only woke up a few hours ago and don't wnat to cook in our horribly unclean kitchen

plus you're here

was that your real address you posted in that other thread

[noob3]

yay i have a title. the full version was better because im like, starving. literally. so hungry :( the one line just sounds like i have the munchies

[noob3]

yes, its my real adress. ive been up since yesterday. we have eggs, but i dont want to eat eggs by themselves. id make a fried egg sandwitch or somthing but thats out of question due to the lack of bread

[Anonymous]

i could paypal you like 5 bucks if you need it

[Anonymous]

man i hate eggs in general unless they're part of eggs benedict or sunny-side up

cooking sunny-side-up eggs to perfection is my mutant power, by the way

[noob3]

haha no my parents give me money when they feel like it. im not a panhandler ;p ill eat somthing good tommorow hopefully. tommorow is today. ive been up since 1pm yesterday. i have shitty sleep hours, i should be asleep. my girlfriend thinks i am. i came home at about 3 am, she thinks im asleep. its like 7. damn. im enjoying my time alone, i guess

[Anonymous]

woah i have 34 dollars in my paypal account for some reason

[noob3]

sunny side up sucks. i have to destroy the yolk. so the egg is whole in texture, and not all gooey in places.

money would be easier to come by exept my mom moved out early fall. so she bitches about bills and dosnt hand out as much as she use to. she only took my sister with her, though. i dont know why im complaining about being hungry and making my self sound to be in such dire straits. she fed me an $18 rib meal on monday. it was bomb.

[noob3]

bomb DOT COM

woah 34 dollars. damn you could eat so much fazolis with that.

[Anonymous]

i'm tempted to call you but i'm just tired enough that I can't be assertive in a phone conversation so i'd just be like 'uh...yeah...hi...it's.. CHOJIN.. from, you know, the boards. yeah. what's up. that's cool. what you up to. oh, right. i have food. yeah. it's kinda gay i have a weakness for eating out so even though I have all this food I still want to pick up a sub frmo royal farms. yeah, their subs atually are kinda awesome as long as you don't get lunchmeat on them. they're like $5 with fries and a drink too. damn. now I want to go do that. uhhh....'

actually that was a pretty good conversation so far

i think i should have called.

[noob3]

that was a bomb ass conversation. i could go on about subs and shit. but im hella tired, too. i shouldnt even be up. im only awake on pure will power to do what i want for a few hours

oh, and the hungering :(

[Anonymous]

that number i have of yours is that a cell

[Helm]

Yes, actually this is very nice thread.

Noob, dude, get out of that relationship. Fast. Go back in time and get out of this relationship two years ago. Go back in time and kill her when she is a baby. Even jesus would kill her. Seriously, if you were my friend (oh oh I mean if you were my real life friend, not internet cause you're alredy my internet friend i mean you know right ok sorry ) and she cut you off of me because of reason x, I'd go to her house and set her room on fire, after I locked her in. Don't ask me how I'd set her room on fire and then get out after having locked the door, it's magic. the magic of anger and decided hatred. Although I'd kick you in the groin to for going with it, too. Stick up for yourself.

Ok, that's it. Put her on. Tell her I want to talk to her right now. Get her on this thread. Make her post. I am going to have words with her right now

[noob3]

that was a very violent way to break up with a girl do you think jesus would really kill her? thatd be wierd. i dont want her to die, and i DEFINATLEY do not want her in this thread. that'd be fucked up. im just going to delete my internet history and temp files tommorow and act like i never even was here. because that is how it must be done. im sad, yes. but i dont want her looking at this :p shed kamakazie my whitey ass man it would suck

[Anonymous]

i think i'm gonna call you periodically noob you're a good friend to me and i want to talk to you more often

[noob3]

:)

its not a cell ive never had one :/ everyone has one except for me ad my girlfriend.

you are a good friend too my friend

[Anonymous]

i just wanted to check cause if i were to call your home phoen at weird hours i'd wake people up

whereas jin i just call at strange hours all the time

my cellphone has awesome international rates.

[Helm]

I am going to attempt to reach through the internets and slap you into reason.

ok.

here we go.





did it work? Awesome. Sorry for you know, slapping too hard listen this isn't right. Ok maybe I went to far with jesus killing her, I mean, jesus loves everybody so I guess he might not kill her. But I'm pretty sure he'd put a curse on her or something. Or beat her with a stick, jesus likes beating people with a stick if they're hypocrites and/or assholes.

I can't talk you out of this relationship. But I'd sure like it if you took mine and eric's point of view into consideration

[Anonymous]

ohw ait what should i do if i call and your bitch girlfriend picks up

[Helm]

oh 'OH FUCK' and hang up

[noob3]

only me and my dad live at my house. but im at jens house alot, id have to give you that number. and shed probably wonder why you were calling me. i dont know alot of people think i should take thier points into consideration and theyre all great points. but i also have to consider her. shes a big part of my life :/ yeah its fucked up but i like sleeping with her (like actually going to bed!) and shes my best friend even though she's kind of fucked up :/

or maybe im the fucked up one :(

[Anonymous]

by the same token you just admit that galaga is a large portion of your life.

your life sounds pretty empty right now, man

[noob3]

haha its not really a big part of my life. i like to play ms pacman alot, though. and galaga is on that game, too. so ill play it. somtimes. im not good at galaga at all. its too intense :p

[noob3]

i mean, you have to kill yoruself in it for a weapon upgrade! thats way too hardcore for me

[Anonymous]

why are you having a drug test in 5 weeks?

[noob3]

1 drug test every week for 6 weeks. ive had 1. theres one this week, so 5 more after that. the first one was dirty, so they want to see it decline and be clean for the next 6. ill scan it if i get my scanner hooked up.

like, last march? i got pulled over for rolling a stop sign. im not sure
if i was here in this period of time, i probably wasn't. but the cop found like, less then a roach of weed in a little altoids-esque tin. since then i have had alot of bullshit over it, i fucked alot of it up. finally my attorney (yes i had to get an attorney over this!) got the da to give me my original deal minus the community service and drunk driving classes. i fucked the original 6 weeks of drug testing and drunk driving classes up really bad. but now i dont have to do the drunk driving classes.

stupid goverment shit, basically :p

*i edited it

[Anonymous]

i think it's safe to say that my life is a little better than yours right now ;<

[FS]

I'd like to reply with something that makes your head spin and cause you to cry out "EUREKA" but that's probably not going to happen. Anyway it sounds like your girlfriend has memorized your manual and knows exactly what buttons to push to make you jump up and down. Plus it sounds like she's destroyed most of your self esteem so that you can never leave her. Seriously dude, what you're describing doesn't sound like love, just fear of being alone. Your situation isn't normal. All I'm saying is, keep a clear head when she blows up. When someone loves you they give and take, they don't just take and take and take. :(

[noob3]

haha my girlfriend got a job a taco bell this week, though. so my life might get better! or she might just dump ME when she sees how bad it sucks to work to feed a shitty spouse like me. i doubt it, though. last time she had a job she bought me a $115 dollar guitar pedal for our anniversary. see, she's not all bad, guys! :p but that was a long time ago. and she quit that job right after our anniversary. like, hours after, i believe. she only had it for 4 weeks.

[FS]

OK, that was gay and preachy.

You need to lose that zee-ro and get yoself a hee-ro kick that tripe to the curve, girlfriend. And to the ho in the green sweater - girl, wash yo hair!

that's better

[noob3]

haha. my hair is deliciously citre-shined :)

[Anonymous]

everyone in this thread has a title

and doesn't suck

it is an i-mockery phenomenon

[noob3]

haha i was just thinking that, man.

[Anonymous]

haha i was just thinking that, man. its all people i use to like from here, in a thread that dosnt even have my name in the title ;/
I see all

[noob3]

the last part didnt make any sense!!

[Anonymous]

sure it does

the only way you could potentially 'make this relationship work' is if you assert yourself and tell her what's what (applause). I'm sure you both care about each other, she's just a paranoid psycho.

[noob3]

i know man. she wont even let me use the internet in fear of me going into a crazed masturbational frenzy :( i mean, yeah, i probably would if i really wanted to masturbate that bad. but whats wrong with that?

she has all these little problems with things i do and all these little rules it seems.. ive learned to live, yeah. through coniving of my own. like what im doing right now. im not even suppose to be posting here which is why i was on pants OUT OF TOTAL PARANOIA.

[Anonymous]

dude just tell her 'i'm going to use the goddamn internet and i'm gonna talk to my friends, and you are gonna deal with it.'

give her the five-knuckle shuffle if she complains

[noob3]

that sounds dirty :p

she thinks the internet is a place to be fake, and where i can commit a thousand acts of cam adultery on aim. she says i just get sympathy on the internet when i talked about her last. did i mention this was after she destroyed my last computer? when she was trying to convince me how my computer was so worthless and terrible for my psyche? probably.

[Anonymous]

honestly i don't think even the internet can 'drag you down' further than you already seem to be at this point.

[Anonymous]

hey if i buy you a computer will you promise to use it and tell her to shut up about it.

[noob3]

yes id say i couldnt turn down such an expensive gift. shed let me use it aslong as she didnt find alot of porn all over it. or somthing like that. thats the first thing she'd assume. she'd be like AIM AND PORN ALL OVER THIS COMPUTER WHAT A FILTHY BOY

and then she'd get that horrible girl pitch-tone that hurts my ears

[Anonymous]

i could just like, show you how to prevent her from looking at your shit.

[noob3]

with a password or somthing? she'd want it. if she couldnt look at it she'd know somthing bad was going on and she'd flip out. she dosnt think any good can come out of the internet. unless i could show her that the internet is like a delicious batch of cookies again!

i mean, we met on the internet :(

[Anonymous]

here's a secret tip:

when she asks for the password, you say 'no'

[noob3]

and then she'd get that horrible girl pitch-tone that hurts my ears

[Anonymous]

then you clog the noisemaking hole

[noob3]

she'd fucking bite whatever off in a mater of seconds she has the teeth of a demon ;x ;x ;x :conspiracy

my dad gave me $5. food sounded so good man but now i just want to buy another pack of cigarettes. ill wait till i wake up for that, though.

[Anonymous]

i can't express how badly you need to kill her

i'd share with you ways to hide shit wihtout seperate accounts but i don't want to encourage you hiding shit from anyone

[noob3]

haha, alright, man. thats the attitude. i dont want to hide anything, i just want her to trust me with stupid things like the internet. no more death threats for now, though. ill be back later. things'll work out with out anyone dead or dying. ill post up on it :)

night chojin friend, thank you for talking to me :)

[Anonymous]

good timing my man I just decided that 9 am was a good time to go play pool

adios, good luck, and don't let people walk all over you.