" You had to be there" Jokes

[DamnthatDavid]

Everyone has a "You had to be there" Jokes. They are the dead-ends of comedy that seem to crop up in any joke telling circle.
The teller, through gasps of laughter, manages to tell the joke to co-workers/friends/family, only to be brought up short as they all stare at the teller until he mumbles "Ya'll just had to be there" The ya'll is very important though.

Now, what I am going hinting at, is that I will try describe a "You had to be there" joke, ones so funny, that I had to drive my car to the side of the load or suffer the driving with side splitting contagious laughter.

Driving through Seattle with friend.
Get to a cross-walk. Asian guys walking really slow.
Friend says, "I wish they wouldn't take so long"
I say "If you yell Godzilla, they might move faster."
She doubles up laughing the contagious laugh, which I catch.

I guess you just had to be there.

[ItalianStereotype]

it's y'all. Y'ALL. fuck, people.

[xbxDaniel]

I've got one.

My parents and I were walking through JCPennys one day, and my dad saw this line of clothing called Crazy Horse. It looked awful, I don't know who was manning the line, but the shirts looked like somebody had ran a cat into a brick wall or something. Anyway, my dad says, "There's Crazy Horse shit everywhere!" Just to signify how awful he thought the clothing was. I started laughing, then so did my dad, and my mom asked us to leave the store.

I guess you just had to be there.

[glowbelly]

i was drunk at a bar with a really good friend/kinda boyfriend/not really one night and we were drinking some kind of whiskey and i got up to go to the bathroom and u2 was playing on the radio. when i got back to the bar i said to my good freind/kinda boyfriend/not really "i love u2" and he said to me all shocked-happy "i love you, too!"

and then i said something like no nononono the band the song on the radio.

and we laughed.

guess you had to be there

actually, no. you didn't. that's darn funny.

[glowbelly]

oh oh oh
got one
ok

so i was in england visiting dole and we went to go see my crazy girlfriend, laura, and her boyfriend steve. we ended up at this horrifically american nightclub and guess what? got drunk.

yeah so much fun ensued. we got back to laura's place and after staying up for a bit and drinking more we finally went to bed.

this is where it gets fuzzy, so dole is going to have to take over for me from here.

hopefully it'll be one of those 'you had to be there' things

[kellychaos]

"You had to be there" is the last resort of those who lack the creativity to honestly convey the humor of the scene/situation. Elsewise, the scene/situation wasn't so universally humorous to even include the plural "you" and one should state that the "you" was indeed singular and was indeed referring to the joke-teller themself. As in, "I guess this joke is only funny to ME because I am utterly ridiculous". And then they should apologize and excuse themselves to get another beer.

[ItalianStereotype]

BECAUSE IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT HUMOR, IT'S KELLYCHAOS

[Guitar Woman]

:lol

[Ihach]

and with that, IS single handedly saves the whole thread

[kellychaos]

BECAUSE IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT HUMOR, IT'S KELLYCHAOS

Well, I find you funny but, then again, so is dog poop in its proper context.

[Guitar Woman]

Only if you're below the age of 10.

[kellychaos]

http://www.mavericktimes.com/triumph.jpg

[Sicktodeathmx]

My compulsive masturbator friend got skeet on a stuffed dog. We named the dog spooge dog. when he came by my house, I asked him about spooge dog. My mom said "What's spooge? That's a new one on me!"

[kellychaos]

That's not a "you had to be there" ... that's funny regardless.

[Sacks]

Me and some friends were sitting in this car parked outside this dude's house and theres this car parked in front of us. "DRUM MAJOR" is written on the rear windshield in white shoepolish or something and the D looks kind of like P. So anyway, we're waiting for our friend to come out and we're trying to figure out whos car it is and after a while we decide it's this guy we all don't like. So my friend is like "Go pee on the car dude" and I'm like "What if it's not him?" and he says "So what?" and I'm like "Well I'm not going to fuck with no asian plum major". Everyone kind of stopped for a second and then the explosion of laughter ripped through the car. Not only did you have to be there, but you have to be really sharp to get it at all.

[Immortal Goat]

HAHAHA, IT'S FUNNY BEcAUSE ASIANS MISPRONOUNCE THINGS WITH "R" IN THEM!

There. I just proved that you don't have to be sharp to get it, because I got it, and I'm running on three hours of sleep.

[DJ Potatoe]

DaisyHead's entire I-Mock existance. :-(

haha..baby dead

[Comrade Rocket]

my friends girlfriend doesnt just tell jokes, she recites entire days in the whole "You had to be there" style.

one day i finally pointed it out. She was talking, " So we went through the drive thru and the guy at the counter was singing. So i started singing with him and me and brittney started laughing and he started laughing, then his manager came up and she started laughing."
I interupted, "you know what i like? Stories that are a lot funnier when your there in person."

-Dead silence for the rest of the ride-

[neojester12]

One time we were at a high school football game, and this dude came up to me and said: "SUP FAGGOT?" then we threw him over the top of the bleachers, and he got impaled, and we drank his blood, laughed for a while, had anal sex in the bathroom, cried for a bit, then had more anal sex.

You just had to be there.

[Sacks]

HAHAHA, IT'S FUNNY BEcAUSE ASIANS MISPRONOUNCE THINGS WITH "R" IN THEM!

There. I just proved that you don't have to be sharp to get it, because I got it, and I'm running on three hours of sleep.

Oh ok.

[maggiekarp]

We were at the theater and saw a poster for Saw 2. We laughed at the tagline and that kind of became a joke. "Hey, will there be blood in that movie?" "Oh yes, there will be blood."

I don't know if that's really a "you had to be there" moment...

Last night, my mom griped at me about not doing laundry. "I don't hear the dryer going!" "I don't either, mom. We must be twins!" There was much laughing and then I did laundry.

[kellychaos]

Did the apparel exit the dryer with the scent of mountain-fresh goodness? :)

[Guitar Woman]

Kellychaos you STINK!

[maggiekarp]

Tide Original Scent :/

[Command Prompt]

My compulsive masturbator friend


wow.

[Dole]

so i was in england visiting dole and we went to go see my crazy girlfriend, laura, and her boyfriend steve. we ended up at this horrifically american nightclub and guess what? got drunk.

yeah so much fun ensued. we got back to laura's place and after staying up for a bit and drinking more we finally went to bed.

this is where it gets fuzzy, so dole is going to have to take over for me from here.

I was drunk then, and I'm drunk now, so my memory is hazy at best...I remember us embarassing ourselves somehow, and us both being VERY drunk...that nightclub represented all the worst aspects of british life concentrated in one room. And I remember your friend laura wearing the most impractical outift I have ever seen a human wear!
Fun times though :)

[CaptainBubba]

This one time I was doing my chemistry homework for an upcoming project that had been assigned about 3 weeks prior and I was up at about 2am doing it. I thought it would be a good idea to take some coaffiene pills to wake myself up and continue working. I stayed up all night and finished my chemistry project! I guess you just had to be there. :)

This is a great thread btw! :)

[BubTheZombie]

I'm riding home from school on the bus, I was comparing God to Hitler to annoy the Pentecostal bus aide, and out of nowhere my friend Jamal interrupts the conversation with "Is there such thing as a movie called 'Tittyboy'?"

The look of sheer disgust smacked the old woman across the face like a Greyhound bus colliding with a small mammal.

You had to have been there. Or not. Shut up.

[McClain]

I had an idea for a new reality show and I was telling it to my brother-in-law. It starred a bunch of Sheriff's and when they weren't cracking down on crime they were dancing. You know, like the robot and break dancing and shit. Anyway.
They would serve people warrants and then bust out in a dance. If the person that got served could dance better than the cops, the warrant would get reversed. It would be called You Got Served.
But I suppose you could include waiters, tennis players and butlers, too.

[kellychaos]

well .. that started off with the funny

[Archduke Tips]

One time I said to one of my coworkers, "I'm sorry... I wasn't paying attention, I was playing this game where I stab sharp things into my leg."

[jin]

The "LOOK AT ME! I'M HILARIOUS!" thread. ;0

[Archduke Tips]

Don't you dare look at me!

[jeneva]

I don't have any jokes yet, but I loved reading all of your joke posts. What a way to start the day... hehe