ITS TRUE

[CaptainBubba]

YOU KNOW, YOU NEEDLE-DICKED PANSIES COWER IN FEAR WHEN I WHIP MY TOWERING CYCLOPS OUT. MY PENIS CONSUMES LIGHT AND WHOLE ASTEROIDS LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING. ONE TIME I GOT AN ERECTION AND THAT CAUSED A WHOLE GALAXY TO BE SHATTERED BY THE SHEER FORCE. WHEN I EJACULATE IT CAUSES THE GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT OF THE UNIVERSE TO BE ALTERED BECAUSE OF THE SUDDEN INCREASE IN MASS. AT THE END OF TIME THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE BUT DARK MATTER AND MY PENIS. MY PENIS EXISTS IN FOUR DIMENSIONS, EXPANDING OUTWARD AT LIGHT SPEED LIKE TIME ITSELF. MY PENIS COMPOSES THE UNIVERSE AND TICKLES AZATHOTH'S OMNIPOTENT BUNGHOLE WHEN THE STARS ARE RIGHT. ENTROPY IS BUT A FART IN THE WIND FOR MY PENIS. MY PENIS CAN BREAK MATHEMATICS! IT IS ABLE TO TRANSCEND REALITY AND DESTROY HUMAN THOUGHT WITH ITS SHEER VOLUME AND MASS. MY PENIS HAS A PENIS, AND THAT PENIS IS STILL BIGGER THAN YOUR PENIS.

[Sethomas]

I'd love to see your explanation for why increased mass would alter the gravitational constant. I mean, I'm not in topology or anything, but the intrinsic properties of gravitons seems like a given to me.

[CaptainBubba]

MY PENIS CAN BREAK MATHEMATICS!

[kellychaos]

My penis can form many geometric forms but has trouble with parabolas and sin curves. :(

[Marc Summers]

I thought those would be the more easy geometric forms to make...
I mean, can you make an octagon or what...I don't know...

[ArrowX]

Wouldn't your penis get in the way of Typing?

[kellychaos]

i'm a hunt and pecker

[Slinky Ferret]

Any man who talks about their dick in that way must have a tiny pencil in his pants.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule.

[CaptainBubba]

YHEA I MUST BE LYING ON THE INTERYET AM I RIGHT GUYS> LOLOL

[Guitar Woman]

Thread backups :lol

[The One and Only...]

Clearly, Bubba and I must duel with our wangs to settle who has the most massive member.

[Archduke Tips]

The penis mightier.

[HickMan]

Clearly, Bubba and I must duel with our wangs to settle who has the most massive member.

haha

[Emu]

Clearly, Bubba and I must duel with our wangs to settle who has the most massive member.

shut up

[Blaber66]

MY WANG IS SO BIG I COULD PUT A WHITE PIGON IT AND MAKE A WHITE PIG POPSICKLE. MORE LIKE PENISSISCKLE!!! ROFLMAO :wank :whitepig

[kellychaos]

Any man who talks about their dick in that way must have a tiny pencil in his pants.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule.

as any homophobe must be a homosexual, surely

[CaptainBubba]

THE INTERNET IS A PLACE FULL OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE.
SOMETIMES WHEN I AM LONELY I SAY HEY THERE ARE HUMANS
ON THE INTERNT
THEY WILL NOT JUDGE ME BY MY PENIS THERE

[kellychaos]

I imagine it to be quite awkward in social circles with such a large member. What do you use as an ice-breaker?

[Dole]

I remember being in a pub a few years ago, and this guy in his late thirties-ish came in, looking slightly dishevelled. He was wearing tracksuit bottoms and no underwear because he just obviously had the most jaw droppingly humoungous cock in the southern counties.
It was obvioulsy freakishly large, clearly visible from the 20 feet or so me and my friends were sitting from him. Thing was, he was on his own, and just stood there uncomfortably drinking a pint on his own for half an hour. It seemed to me, that the this poor guy's only hope of starting any kind of interaction was based solely on 'I have no friends, but look, I have a freakishly large penis'. It had obviously become this unremarkable, lonely chap's only defining characteristic. It was all he had to give to the world.
It was disturbing and depressing. He left on his own - anyone who noticed, particularly the females present, were visibly freaked out. Think on. Careful what you wish for.

[kellychaos]

sort of like the guy in the Twilight Zone episode who wished to be left alone to his reading only to have his spectacles ruined after he got his wish :irony

[sadie]

obsolete.

[kellychaos]

Not so. What if the remaining earthly women were asian or some other urbanly-legend, small-vagina types?!

[sadie]

that was the name of that episode, fool.

[kellychaos]

Time Enough At Last (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Enough_at_Last)

Henry Bemis (Burgess Meredith) is a bookish little man who can never find the time to read. He can't read at home or at work because both his wife and boss think reading is a waste of time. Henry takes his lunch breaks in the vault at the bank where he works. During one of these lunch breaks, a super hydrogen bomb is tested, ending mankind. Henry is the only one left. He loses hope and is about to commit suicide when he finds the public library. All the books he could ever hope for are his for the taking. He finally has all the time in the world to read. Unfortunately, as he is about to pick up a book, his glasses fall off and shatter.


To be fair, though, Meredith was in a bunch of Twilight Zone episodes. :/

[sadie]

oops. sorry. that was the one where he was a librarian and blew up the room with the inspector in it.

[Marc Summers]

i'm a hunt and pecker

I know they both sound the same, but I think you meant to type "i'm a-huntin' pecker" :x

[Rosenstern]

Hey Cap'n Babba! You know what!? My penis is small enough to fit inside the human vagina! It also won't cause her subatomic particles to tear away from eachother! IT'S TRUE!!! I feel that may be why you can't keep a date.

[kellychaos]

like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway

[CaptainBubba]

WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN ROSENSTREN? DON' YOU KNOW I LEIVWITH THE TORMENT OF A PENIS WITH INCONSEIVABLE DIMNSIONS SPANNNING ALL REAL ANDUNREAL EXCICSTENCSES THROUGH OUT THE METAPHYSICAL WORLD????

[Rosenstern]

like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway

IT'S TRUE!!!!!!!

[Marc Summers]

like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway
Way to quote Family Guy :rolleyes

[Rosenstern]

METAPHYSICAL WORLD????

Aha! He's full of shit!

[FartinMowler]

Even "if" someone like Bubba, who is large and muscular, did have a large unit, it would look small in proportion, like a fat head :)

[Supafly345]

And "then" it would make it fit better?

[kellychaos]

like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway
Way to quote Family Guy :rolleyes

Actually, the analogical joke is far older than that meathead.

[FartinMowler]

And "then" it would make it fit better?

I don't understand the question >:

[Pub Lover]

Fartin, if Bubba's huge penis is proportionally smaller to his magnificently muscled body than a skinny guy with a regular sized penis, does that mean Bubba's huge penis fits a regular sized vagina any better?

[Jeanette X]

Clearly, Bubba and I must duel with our wangs to settle who has the most massive member.

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/shapeoflife/episodes/hunt_explo2.html

Using new camera technology, Marine Biologist Leslie Newman of Australia's Southern Cross University participated in filming the marine flatworm Pseudobiceros hancockanus engaging in some odd reproductive behavior -- referred to as penis fencing.

During penis fencing, each flatworm tries to pierce the skin of the other using one of its penises. The first to succeed becomes the de facto male, delivering its sperm into the other, the de facto female. For the flatworms, this contest is serious business. Mating is a fight because the worm that assumes the female role then must expend considerable energy caring for the developing eggs.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

[kahljorn]

"Even "if" someone like Bubba, who is large and muscular, did have a large unit, it would look small in proportion, like a fat head"

I've actually heard that people who are big are more likely to have smaller penii due to blood flow being diverted into other areas.

[Pub Lover]

Whenever there is a penis thread in Loveline & Kahljorn posts in it, I'm reminded of the sex dream I had about him... :orgasm

[kellychaos]

Do tell.

[CaptainBubba]

MY PENIS IS NOT SIMPLY LARGE FOOLISH HUMANS OF ONLY PSUEDO-SENTIENT INTELECT. ITS VERY GIRTH WHEN DERIVED THROUGH A PROCESS OF MATHEMATICS THAT IS BEYOND RATIONAL HUMAN AND COMPUTER PROGRAM CAPABILITIES IS X*GOOGOPLEX WHERE X IS A CONSTANT OF SUCH A PROPORTION THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE 100! MORE GOOGOPLEXES JUST TO BEGIN AND COVER ITS BREADTH. WHEN THE HOLY WATERS OF THE ORIENT ARE DRIPPED INTO MY PENIS THE FLAME OF WRATH ARUPTS FORTH AND AN ALL ENCOMPASSING BLANKET OF CINDER AND ASH SPANS THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. MY PENIS IS SO LARGE THAT WHEN I PUT IT INSIDE OF OTHER HUMANS THEY GENERALLY COMPLAIN OF ITS SIZE AND GIVE A LOOK OF GENERAL DISCOMFORT AND I'M ALL LIKE "AW MAN" BECAUSE I THINK MAYBE THEY DON'T LIKE ME BUT THEN THEY ARE ALL "HELLS YEA" BECAUSE MY PENIS FUCKING KILLED THEM BECAUSE IT'S URETHRA'S DIAMETER IS THAT OF 5 EARTHS AND THEY EVIDENTLY BURST IN MANY PIECES AND DIED AND WENT TO HELL WHERE THE PENISES ARE ALL SMALL VERSIONS OF GENE SHALLOT THAT SCREAM BUT ITS BETTER THAN MY PENIS WHICH IS HUGE BEYOND MEASURE. IF MY PENIS WERE TO COMBAT THE ROMAN DIETIES IT WOULD SURELY CRUSH THEIR COMBINED FORCES BUT SUFFER IN SUCH A WAY THAT A LESSON IS LEARNED AND MY PENIS WOULD COME OUT BETTER FOR IT HAVING ACCEPTED ITS FATE. MY PENIS IS ACTUALLY SO MASSIVE THAT ITS INABILITY TO MOVE QUICKLY IS OVERSHADOWED BY THE FACT THAT IS EXISTS IN ALL FEASABLE POINTS IN SPACE AND TIME SO MOVEMENT IS IRRELEVANT. MY PENIS IS NAMED SOME SPANISH NAME BUT I FORGET IT.

[kellychaos]

yer stupid! :lol

[kellychaos]

"With great power, comes great responsibility." ... my monstrously endowed nemisis :posh

[Rosenstern]

IT'S URETHRA'S DIAMETER IS THAT OF 5 EARTHS

If your urethra were the size of five Earths, your whole penis would be nothing compared even to the Sun. You are retarded.

[CaptainBubba]

IT IS ALSO THE SIZE OF FIVE SUNS.

IN ADDITION IT IS THE SIZE OF 200,000 GALAXIES.

I SUBMIT THAT IT IS YOU, PUNY GENITALED HUMAN, WHO IS THE RETARD AMONG US.

[Rosenstern]

Ah, yes. I failed to see your logic before. My apologies. :/

[kellychaos]

Ladies and gentlemen. We have Pudzilla Vs. Vagina Monolgogues!

I miss Mothra. :(

[DrGonzo]

My Dixie Wrecked.

[ArrowX]

like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway
Way to quote Family Guy :rolleyes

Actually the earliest instance of that phrase (to my knolege) was from episode 3 of "Scrotum the puppy"

Learn your shit good sir!

[kellychaos]

I shudder to contemplate the dark, gaping maw that would be the match for this monstrosity! :eek

[ArrowX]

my D is so awesome I ring doorbells, then knock on the door wiht my member. But I time it just right, so that the sheer awesome of my D sends the door crashing off its hinges and kills the person on the other side!

[kellychaos]

Is there a club (no pun intended) for like-endowed man-freaks and, if so, is it further divided into cliques like "girths" against the "lengths" ... a la the "sharks" against the "jets"?

[Dr. Fu]

MY PENIS IS NAMED SOME SPANISH NAME BUT I FORGET IT.Rrrrrrichard! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrichard comme here vale!

[CaptainBubba]

ITS JULIO. JULIO IS ITS NAME.