Ruin a Wish Game!

[Lotida]

Let the game begin: You wish for something, and the next person to post grants it but somehow ruins it with his imagination.

Example...

"I wish I had a million dollars"

"Granted, but someone accuses you of child molestation and you get forced to pay them everything you got."

I'll go first...

I wish I had a month's vacation!

[MetalMilitia]

Ok, but you must spend it in guantanamo bay.

I wish I could be bothered to go to the shops and buy some cigarettes :(

[Trash]

Granted, but a 500 pound nazi rapes you on the way back, and steals the cigarettes.
I wish i was a pretty ballerina!

[RaNkeri]

Dude, you forgot to make a wish >:

I wish I could gain immortality

[Trash]

Granted, but you will turn 8 years old, and you have to spend the rest of your life with Michael Jackson.

[Esuohlim]

This thread is a faggot

[RaNkeri]

It's not faggot, it's just not so funny as it used to be 5 years ago :(

[Jixby Phillips]

I wish for a thread like this to be posted on the internet somewhere :eek

[ziggytrix]

Granted, but it happens on a forum YOU read. :(

[Supafly345]

:lol

[the_dudefather]

you :lol but milk comes out your nose

[MetalMilitia]

but when it comes out of your nose it doesn't taste nice like when you drank it, it tastes really like nose :x

[Girl Drink Drunk]

I wish Uwe Boll would go bankrupt, and no one would touch the subject of making a fucking Metal Gear Solid movie because no film could ever fucking touch the game.

[bigtimecow]

granted, but uwe boll ends up robbing you because he's poor and YOU go bankrupt because you are terrible.

i wish everything was green

[Jixby Phillips]

granted BUT IT AINT EASY BEING GREEN

I wish dracula would suck my dick

[GADZOOKS]

Granted, but he may suck more then you bargained for :eek

I wish America was the only country in the world so the troops would always be home :tear

[Terra]

Granted but they'll shoot the losers.

I wish milhouse would pay more attnetion to me and not that Lotida!! >:

[the_dudefather]

granted, but its because you have a large cavity where your nose was leaking blood and mucus.

i wish that i could be a ninja of the flipping out and uppercutting variety

[Rongi]

granted, but you become played out to the point that no one likes ninjas anymore

i wish my mommy was still alive :(

[ArrowX]

granted, but she will still be in a persistant vegitative state just like last time.


I wish I had a Ferrari

[Lotida]

Granted... but it comes in a kit and you have to put it together.... and barbie and Ken fit in it.


I wish I could go on a cruise.

[ziggytrix]

granted, but your ship is hijacked by pirates who chop you up and feed you to the sharks.

i wish we could all just get along.

[ArrowX]

granted, but that means you have to hug OAO.

I wish popcorn was made of steak.

[Vampywampy]

Granted, but then popcorn doesn't exist. :o

But...technically it would if it was made of steak...because it would still be called popcorn...


Well, scrap that.


Granted, but Nazi Pirates pin you down and fuck your ass for no reason. :(


I wish I was as cool as you guys. :'<

[Sethomas]

Wish granted, and since you used the past tense instead of the conditional ("I wish I WERE as cool as you guys), it's obvious that those days are long gone. And, as Boethius says, "In the face of adversity, the greatest misfortune is having once been happy."

I wish I had a fancier watch.

[ItalianStereotype]

granted, but instead of a wristwatch or a pocket watch, you get some fancy guy who watches you not masturbate.

I wish I could've lived in the golden age of mobsters!

[Seven Force]

Granted, but instead of living in prosperity, a rival could put a hit out on you, since you'll never be a made man. I hope you like the feeling of hot lead traveling through your viscera at high-speed.

I wish I knew what I was going to do with my life.

[Sethomas]

Wish granted: You find out that you have two hours to live, and you amend to spend every second furiously jacking off.

I wish I didn't have an anthropology test today.

[RaNkeri]

Wish granted, but instead, you had an exam about the basics of Quantum physichs

I wish I'd have a brand new car

[MLE]

Granted, but we run you over with it before you can notice the color of it.

I wish I could have a better paying job and keep my moneys :<

[wastr]

granted, but you have to deal with all the poor saps below you.
I wish I was the fonz.

[Chojin]

Granted, but I ban you from the forums.

I wish that something terrible happens to me.

[ArrowX]

Granted, and it makes everyone feel sorry for you, then you come back as a zombie and begin the end of days.

I wish I was hung like a black man.

[xbxDaniel]

Granted, but they're mean birds, like from a Hitchcock film.

I wish my post didn't have to be edited because Emu posted right before me.

[Chojin]

Granted, but now he'll be upset that it's deleted and your response won't make any sense.

I wish you didn't start sucking so bad about a week ago.

[xbxDaniel]

Granted, but you still have to put up with the all the shitty posts I already posted.

I wish I had something interesting to say.

[ArrowX]

Granted, you become the next saviour because of it, you are then promptly assasinated by Muslims.

I wish I had elastic powers like Mr. Fantastic.

[Emu]

Granted, but you asphyxiate yourself with your pinky when a toast at a fancy party goes a little too far.

I wish I could stop being lame. :(

[ArrowX]

Granted, but that would make me cooler than someone on the boards

I wish for 1000 more wishes

[xbxDaniel]

Granted, but your handicapped liscence plates will be revoked.

I wish I had a Honda VTX1300S, or a new Goldwing.

[Terra]

Granted but your dad takes it away so your mom can ride it.

I wish my Harley Dyna Lowrider were out of the shop

[Sethomas]

Granted, but it's at the bottom of the ocean.

I wish everyone would convert to my wacky religion.

[Terra]

Granted. Now our bedtimes are at 6:00 pm

I wish my bike were brought back to the surface.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted. But now the bike is covered in rust and it will never work.

I wish i was a Power Ranger with a Zord and the Lazer gun amd a Energy sword and the a spaceship and that I was the green ranger and A pet Robot Named Chogie who makes me happy by telling funny jokes.

[Terra]

Granted. But there is a power outage.

I wish my bike were ressurrected and rust free. Ready to ride. NOW!

[ItalianStereotype]

granted, but it explodes while you're out on the road, propelling your body into space.

I wish terra wouldn't post after me.

[Terra]

Not granted. I have a strap on just for you baybee. Your ass is bludgeoned by me.

I wish my bike would be whole

[Seven Force]

Granted, but i'm the bike.

I wish I was funny like Mr. Cross.

[Terra]

Hmm... I speechless.

I can't derail my own bike....

You get two flat tires.

I wish my tires were full of air.

[ItalianStereotype]

this isn't the not grant a wish thread, terra. you broke it. you broke it so you die.

[Terra]

Go take a flying shit MOB man!

[Seven Force]

what have i done

[ItalianStereotype]

I wish terra would get bored with being a contrived and completely trite cunt.

[Terra]

Oh shut the fuck up Seven!

I'm weaiting for the greasball to post something significant!

[Terra]

Not seeing it yet.

Too many meatballs in your mouth fuckwit?

[Terra]

:)

I'm waiting. You Italians are a little slow....

[ItalianStereotype]

uh

[ItalianStereotype]

you sure do win at reading

[Terra]

Riiight.

Get the fuck outta here. Go make a wish with somebody else, you miserable wop fucktard.

[Terra]

Lotida? Remind me to tell you what a GREAT idea this was, when we talk again!

:garlic

[ItalianStereotype]

it's okay to be embarrassed, terra. I mean, it WAS right above your own post.

[Terra]

I had to compile. It seemed a good idea at the time.

[Seven Force]

DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

[RaNkeri]

You've ruined this thread. >:

[Jeff The Ninja]

TERRA, I have nothing against you but you ruined something beautiful and fun. so....

I wish Terra would go to hell, go to hell and burn while being ass raped by Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, and Stalin. At the same time.

[Terra]

Well that's granted. But before they had me, they did the same crap to you.

I wish I could find the keys to my car this morning.

[Tropical]

No not granted, fuck you. Goto jail, do not collect when you pass 'Go'.

[ziggytrix]

This is now the Ruin a Ruin a Wish Game Thread. >:

[Terra]

Yeah way to go Tropical. >: Try and keep your blistering hate to pm's like everybody else.

Sorry Lotida! :)

[Girl Drink Drunk]

I wish you would all stop fighting and get the bloody thread back on track.

[Terra]

Granted but now everybody is dead and your all alone.

I wish I had more kleenex. >:

[xbxDaniel]

Granted, but they've already been used.

I wish I could find my headphones.

[Mad Melvin]

granted, but you´ll have to buy them back from a pawn shop 'cause someone sold them for crack money.

I wish I had money to buy a decent car.

[ArrowX]

Granted, but its haunted by the ghost of 10 angry KKK members and a tough talking latino.

I wish I didn't know that terra would be the one to ruin this thread.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted, But now you dont have any common sense.

I wish I had a girlfriend with big tits.

[ArrowX]

Granted, but there on her back.


I wish Police carried bazookas.

[Rongi]

granted, but everyone still thinks you're an annoying little fat kid

i wish i had some pizza

[noob3]

what are you guys genies

i wish i could teleport

[MLE]

Granted, but you can only teleport to the same location you started.

I wish I had my new job already >:

[Seven Force]

Granted, but they pay you in pudding.

I wish I had sum puddin'. :(

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted, But MLE Spit in it

I wish I could enslave the universe.

[Seven Force]

Granted, but the pudding people will rise up and overthrow you, drowning you in a thick pool of delicious pudding.

I wish I had a towel.

[Rongi]

granted but ol dirty bastard came in it

i wish ol dirty bastard was still alive :(

[Johnny Couth]

Granted, but hes living in poverty, with AIDS, in The Republic of Congo.

I wish I could fly.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted, but you fly too close to the sun and catch fire, Just like Icarus.

I wish I was Guitar Woman.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

Granted but you don't come to the board anymore because you lose interest and get your eye pierced with a hotbox of a black dick who has an affinity for raping publicized chicks.


I wish I can witness a giant car pileup that everyone gets away unscathed from!

[Fathom Zero]

You're the only one that gets scathed.

I wish I had a zombie dog.

[Moobs]

Granted, but everytime it came close to you it would try and eat your spleen, and many other body parts...just like in resident evil.

I wish Deathrays were real :(

[Archduke Tips]

Granted, but they only work on people you love.

I wish that they would make a sequel to Labrynth.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

denied, and following the trend of Hollywood making way too many fucking re-makes, Jareth the Goblin King will be played by Justin Hawkins. :chatter

[Jeff The Ninja]

Your wish is granted (you wanted some food right)

I wish I had a can of Beans.

[MetalMilitia]

granted but they are the cheap ones which dont taste as nice as the regular ones :x

I wish did some revision the last 3 weeks.

[bigtimecow]

GRANTED but no one knows what the fuck you're talking about

i wish that i could control time

[ziggytrix]

granted, but you accidentally get stuck in a paradoxical time loop.

i wish i could control time.

[MLE]

Granted, but you spend eternity with bigtimecow, like in sliders.

I wish religious people would stop pressing pamphlets in my hands and grinning.

[blackwar12]

Granted but you have to have sex with an 80 year old man first

I wish for a fresh cheese sandwich

[Seven Force]

Granted, but it's dickcheese.

I wish for stuff.

[Terra]

Bend over. Spread cheeks. Your wish is granted.

I wish my new computer would be here. Now.

[Staxeon]

Granted, the tornado delivers it and the UPS truck it was in to your backyard.

I wish I could remember what I needed from a room after I actually walk into said room.

[Sethomas]

Granted. Every room you enter, you remember that you'd come to get a gallon of bleach to drink.

I wish I were better at reading Latin.

[Staxeon]

Granted. You're under 12 feet of rock at Pompei and your Latin was excellent.

I wish idiots at drive thru would get my order right all the time.

[Terra]

Granted but your in such a mental fuge from working so late at night that when your order the catch of the day they give you the snatch of the day with her friend.

I wish I had a front yard now that the tornado has passed through.

[Johnny Couth]

Granted, but it's located no where near your house.

I wish I could dance like Vanilla Ice :o

[Staxeon]

Granted, but a church captures you and tries to rid the demons from your body with sing-ins and bake sales in your honor.

I wish gas prices would be normal again.

[Terra]

Granted but it costs you your little toe. :(


I HOPE gas prices aren't going to go up anymore.

[ArrowX]

granted, but your car will bestolen and chopped up


I Wish terra would die in a car accident in the next 30 minuts of this post due to someone cutting the brakelines and losening the bolts on her wheels. (nothing to do wiht it)

[Seven Force]

Granted but I will torture you for 40 days and 40 nights until you beg for death.

I wish I was a Columbian drug czar.

[Esuohlim]

Denied because you are stealing ideas from that Brendan Fraser movie and you know in your heart that it is not what you really want :x

I wish that this wish doesn't come true.

[Seven Force]

Denied because you already denied so it wouldn't even come true anyway.

I wish I was a successful stand up comedian.

[Trash]

Granted, but you will die alone and sad.

I wish all ravers would die a horrible and painful death which includes chili, needles and the penis.

[MetalMilitia]

we grant wishes here, not miracles :rolleyes

I wish I had a nice warm cup of tea

edit: mine was directed at sevenforceincusawhatevr

[Seven Force]

Granted, but I pissed in it.

[Esuohlim]

Denied because you already denied so it wouldn't even come true anyway.

Since you denied it it came true which is not what I wished for >:

[ArrowX]

Granted, but Milhouse becomes happy and his self estemm rises making him an uncool happy character on the simpsons.


I wish terra didn't have a furry fetish for mooses.

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted, but then you get assraped by a man in a Moose suit.

I wish I was Jesus.

[ArrowX]

Granted, but the jews are hot on your trail

I wish I had a well paying job

[Big McLargehuge]

Granted but because of it you are able to happily raise a great family!!:)


I wish i wasn't sick today :(

[ArrowX]

Granted, but then you get sick tomorrow, with cancer, of the hands.

[VolCanon]

I wish stupid kraut had a wish

[Jeff The Ninja]

Granted, Stupidkraut wished for a pickle.

I wish I had a pickle.

[Lotida]

Granted, but then Sevenforce grabs you and practices his new Oral techniques all over you!


I wish Max would get unbanned!

[wastr]

granted, but then he finds a way to get re-banned.

I wish I wasnt "so annoying." :(

[Esuohlim]

Granted, but it requires getting killed.

I wish my 10-page paper due tomorrow was already done, and flawlessly :(

[Trash]

Granted, but you need to masturbate the teacher for it.

I wish i remembered saturday.

[blackwar12]

granted but you would need to masterbate vigorously every saturday for the rest of your life

i wish chuck norris would kill bush

[Esuohlim]

i wish chuck norris would kill bush

I wish Chuck Norris would just kill himself >:

[blackwar12]

i wish chuck norris would kill bush

I wish Chuck Norris would just kill himself >:
granted but you get aids

i wish there was a cure for aids

[Acidlump]

The african population grows so large that we transport them to america to work for low wages

if you think thats a bad thing