Penis enlargers

[RaNkeri]

No really, how in fuckin' hell are those things supposed to work? And who would be so fuckin' stupid that would actually buy one? >:

[Emu]

Just becuase you can't figure out how to operate yours doesn't mean you can cover it up by asking who would buy one. Also, you have to move the pump up and down. Hope this helps!

[RaNkeri]

How just mere pumping would make it larger? Doesn't jackin' off do the same? :/

[Emu]

no

[RaNkeri]

Sounds pretty crap. I mean, can you prove that scientifically too?

[liquidstatik]

Can you ever shut up? >:

[Dixie]

The pump will burst blood vessels in your ding-a-ling. Girls don't like dicks with blood freckles.

[Terra]

No penis pump experts in Finland either? Dude, you need to move away before your sucked down the black hole and shat out someplace close by McMurdo Station.

Those lonely boys would LOVE to show you how to pump their peni.

[MetalMilitia]

I prefer natural penis enlargers known as women. But each to their own.

[Terra]

Well now that's just too easy.

[maggiekarp]

I heard penis pumps just pull and stretch your penis like taffy... so you end up with a string :( I also heard they used to have breast pumps that worked the same way. Big ol' saggy tits.

You can also get something cut in your penis to make some of what's inside you come out, but it doesn't stand as erect as it used to.

I don't know about vitamins, though

[Terra]

Well, shoving a vitamin up your dick could make it just as flacid! :)

[Johnny Couth]

The idea is that alot of your penis is inside your body, and the pump is supposed to pull that out more.

[Terra]

I thought blowjobs might cover that area.

[camacazio]

A pump pulls more blood into the area. I've read that it gives it a spongy feeling. It's not permanent. Pump too much and you'll burst blood vessels--that's a bruise.

[Terra]

This is disturbing.

The poster's on this thread know more about pumps than actual sex and blowjobs. :chatter

[maggiekarp]

penis goes in vagina

penis goes in mouth


I AM AN EXPERT!

[Misdemonar]

Penis goes into bu..wait.

[liquidstatik]

go ahead, you can say it. :o

[WhiteRat]

Rankeri, shouldn't this be in the What Are You Eating thread?

[RaNkeri]

I'm not like that :(

[GADZOOKS]

Rankerii why dont you trying building up your self-confidence to talk to women then building your dick size.

Or dudes, Im sorry for assuming you were straight.

[RaNkeri]

There's no need for me to increase my dick size :|

[Emu]

it's a lost cause

[Terra]

There's no need for me to increase my dick size :|

well not until you actually find it. stop siting down on the potty chair and stretch that mutherfucker like the big boys do.

[RaNkeri]

See my reply in Mockwars, I'm not repeating myself

[Terra]

i replied to you in general blabber. i'm not repeating myself

[RaNkeri]

I can't find your reply from general blapper, please repeat yourself :tear

[Terra]

go find it you lazy fuck. Oh and this is your reply from that other thread that i said your reply would be in

has your peni benefitted from the enlarger yet? Still can't find it? damn

[RaNkeri]

Yeah, it's still missin'... but maybe you could help me findin' it! Let's do some oral examination... :eek

[Esuohlim]

I hate you both.

[Terra]

milhouse your reply is over in mock wars

[Esuohlim]

Oh great a brand new Terra gimmick, how nice. Let me know when you want me to tell you that you've run the fucking thing into the ground, all right?

[Terra]

i forgot to say something in mock wars sorry hoss.

[sadie]

blapper flapper clapper zapper

[Jixby Phillips]

I drew this kinda inspired by this thread

http://www.novirginsallowed.com/misc/bigdick.jpg

[RaNkeri]

lol, awesome job! :lol

[Archduke Tips]

Just hump a beehive and it will enlarge your penis.

[MetalMilitia]

hey why doesn't cynicalposters.com really exist :(

[ziggytrix]

Jixby, is that a reference to Wonder Showzen?

[Girl Drink Drunk]

Who's peeking out from under a stairway
Calling a name that's lighter than air
Who's bending down to give me a rainbow
Everyone knows it's Windy

Who's tripping down the streets of the city
Smiling at everybody she sees
Who's reaching out to capture a moment
Everyone knows it's Windy

And Windy has stormy eyes
That flash at the sound of lies
And Windy has wings to fly
Above the clouds, above the clouds

Who's tripping down the streets of the city
Smiling at everybody she sees
Who's reaching out to capture a moment
Everyone knows it's Windy

[Terra]

That's by The Association. You are listeing to your folk's memories. Goddamn it, go out and make your own memories and stop leaching off of other old fart's vague recollections. ;)

[Jixby Phillips]

Jixby, is that a reference to Wonder Showzen?

The poster? Not intentionally, But I realized the similarity after i drew it. I was just trying to think of what the most generic/popular slogan of "cynical-posters.com" would be. I'm sure HANG IN THERE (PICTURE OF NOOSE) has been done plenty of times before Wonder Showzen did it.

cynical-posters.com is an awful company because they stamp the url of the site in really big letters on their merchindise

[Girl Drink Drunk]

You know I never
I never seen you look so good
You never act the way you should
But I like it
And I know you like it too
The way that I want you
I gotta have you
Oh yes, I do

You know I never
I never ever stay out late
You know that I can hardly wait
Just to see you
And I know you cannot wait
Wait to see me too
I gotta touch you

Chorus:
Cause baby we'll be
At the drive-in
In the old man's Ford
behind the bushes
till I'm screamin' for more
Down the basement
lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to me

You know I call you
I call you on the telephone
I'm only hoping that you're home
So I can hear you
When you say those words to me
And whisper so softly
I gotta hear you

Chorus

C.C. pick up that guitar and talk to me

Solo, Chorus out