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Bod
May 12th, 2006, 03:50 PM
You know how it is when something shitty happens and you wish looking back you said more - or at least got through to the person having a go at you? Well something happened to me last night that so pissed me off and I can't help but be wound up by it. I'll never see that woman again, so I've actually started writing a letter to the local paper, because she seems anal enough to read it.

Here is the first draft:

Attacked be Old Crone

Sir,

With so many people complaining about young chavs causing trouble, I thought I should mention an incident that happened to me recently.

One sunny evening, my boyfriend and I decided to go to Stanley Moss for a stroll and pub dinner. As my boyfriend wasn’t working that day, he decided to walk there (a two hour jaunt) and I met him later on my small 125 motorbike.

Later I waited with him at the bus stop in Stockton Brook, my bike parked close in a loose gravely road, where I could see it as such bikes are a magnet to thieves and the road where the bus stop was is not suitable for parking. I placed my helmet on the ground close to my feet as it was becoming a long wait – it turns out that the bus broke down and we were waiting for over an hour.

A couple who looked in their 50s/60s walked past, each with a dog on a lead. The man’s dog suddenly shied at my helmet, dragging him into the road, causing a danger to the traffic and to himself. I appreciate the man had had a shock, but I was not prepared for what was to come. As he walked away from me, he started hurling all kinds of abuse that is not printable. I was astonished, for this was not my fault – a dog that will shy from a helmet is bound to do this with object. I did call back that I was not to blame, that he should have more control over his dog. He carried on screaming at me until he and his wife reached my bike, where quite worryingly they hung about for a bit. When eventually they left, I checked my bike for any obvious sabotage and when it almost got hit by a speeding car swinging quite dangerously in the dark I decided to move it closer to me.

Admittedly it should not be on a pedestrian way, but it had gone 10pm and there was hardly anyone about. The pavement was wide and I made sure that there was room enough for people to pass.

The couple came back and the woman started yelling at me, calling me ‘gobby’! She accused me of almost getting her husband killed and that I should not place my ‘stupid hat’ on the ground. I pointed out that the dog needed to be trained and I was not to be blamed. They admitted that the dog was strong and only 10 months old – so obviously they should have been taking due care. She started getting very aggressive, waving her finger in my face, I asked her to stop but she got more abusive. She bizarrely screamed at me to be more intelligent and threatened that she would kick my bike into the road. I was shocked to be threatened and bullied by a woman of her years and said so. This is when she smacked me in the face.

I know I should have called the police, who knows who else she goes around attacking, but I was just grateful that they left soon after this – but not before she decided to called into question my sexual behaviour and called me names expressing this.

So anyone walking in the Stockton Brook area, I warn them keep away from an old couple walking dogs just in case it is this unhinged pair. I find it worrying for the dogs and more so scary that the couple may have spawned offspring – people like that should be spayed. Maybe these people are the parents of the type of youths that make us nervous to go out on the streets?


Thing is, that woman wanted me to hit her back. Think of it, younger pink haired biker woman with piercings hits old woman walking her dog....

I'm glad I kept calm, it wound her up, but I can't help but have fantasies of beating her repeatedly around the head - but this will hurt her worse - she'll be in her local pubs regaling her pals with the story, then they'll read my version of it in the paper. The pen truly is mightier than the sword.

Bod
May 12th, 2006, 03:52 PM
This needs editing before the paper edits it - feedback would be good - especially if it doesn't agree with me.

Dole
May 12th, 2006, 05:46 PM
Fucking hell! I cant believe she hit you, what a fucking maniac! Fuck them, if their rubbish dog is going to freak out at a crash helmet thats their look out. I really hope the paper prints your letter.
Maybe you can take some small comfort that anyone who behaves like that must have a horrible, joyless, shitty life.

Girl Drink Drunk
May 12th, 2006, 06:06 PM
Think of it, younger pink haired biker woman with piercings hits old woman walking her dog....


These danmed kids today, terrorizing elderly people and having no respect for authority :lol

Jokes aside, what the hell? There are some weird and uptight people out there.

Terra
May 12th, 2006, 06:33 PM
I'm sorry that this happened to you Bod. The write up looks great. Just make a suggestion that all the dogs in that area need to keep a tighter leash on the old fucks.

DamnthatDavid
May 13th, 2006, 02:40 PM
Holy crap, that is anal!

MetalMilitia
May 15th, 2006, 08:42 AM
Perhaps substitute the word "chavs" for "delinquents" or something similar as chav sounds a bit slangy (probably because it is slang but whatever). Either way the old woman sounds like a total bitch - mabey you should try and describe her somewhat so people recognise her if they see her. Or say what type of dog they have atleast.

Terra
May 15th, 2006, 09:43 AM
The UK version of a Salem witchhunt. It worked for us too.