Valentines Day

[Dixie]

I'm having a hard time deciding what to get my husband for Valentines Day this year. Last year I made him a HUGE lobster dinner with all sorts of yummy food, and the year before that I made boobie cupcakes. This year is different, this is our first married V-Day together so I want to do something special. And for a good laugh, I thought I'd ask you virgins.

[Colewolf]

How about a cake in the shape of a womans body? From the legs up to the neck showing the boobies and the rest. Just an idea. Or go get one of those lover kits from Spencers.

[Chojin]

Yeah, Spencer's is the winner's go-to place for thoughtful valentine's day gifts.

You could take another lingerie photoshoot for us!

[RaNkeri]

May sound clichy, but how bout serving a bloody steak in a form of heart? ;(

[MetalMilitia]

Why not go away on a fancy weekend somewhere.

[maggiekarp]

Breed >:

[noob3]

maggiekarp i am down will u be my valentine :lol

[maggiekarp]

I will send you pixelated chocolate and kissy-face emoticons :(

then we shall commence the netsemenation :(

[noob3]

i better start preparing :o

[Goat Cheese]

I'm having a hard time deciding what to get my husband for Valentines Day this year.

YOU'RE A WOMAN?!
:love

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Ugh. Please just stop talking.

[maggiekarp]

Goat Cheese you are not my Valentine :(


I'll get you a card anyway :)

[Goat Cheese]

:picklehat :aok

[xbxDaniel]

How old are you again, Goat?

[Misdemonar]

get him a soul hahhaha

[Chojin]

I hope I'm not the only one that thought the font style goat cheese used was hilarious :<

[Goat Cheese]

How old are you again, Goat?

I'm old enough to use the internet.

OH SNAP.

[executioneer]

the best valentine's gift, hands down, is fire

[GADZOOKS]

Hearts Afire

http://epguides.com/HeartsAfire/cast.jpg

Oh man, if only john ritter knew that the title of the show would be the cause of his death :(

[Goat Cheese]

Hearts Afire

http://epguides.com/HeartsAfire/cast.jpg

Oh man, if only john ritter knew that the title of the show would be the cause of his death :(

I still cry whenever I hear the Three's Company theme song.

[Sicktodeathmx]

Last year I made my fiance a big collage of porn and different musicians.
This year, I bought him a sweet ass Black Label Society vest :)

[Dixie]

This year, I bought him a sweet ass Black Label Society vest :)
I'm sorry you have been disqualified.
Fire is sounding awfully nice though.

[W01fman]

Honestly I'e forgotten what I did for the Wife for a first V-Day married. I might have done rose petals on the bed or something. It's a hallmark holiday anyway.

[Shifty]

Threesome.

[Lenor]

why not smack him around for a little while...

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Buttsecks

[Lenor]

cosmo: thats your answer to fix everything ... just stick it in the butt and everything is a fuckin ok!!

:rave :puke :rave

[Cosmo Electrolux]

not just any butt....

[maggiekarp]

Feel free not to tell us certain specifics but uh casting another vote for the buttsecks, there

[Womti]

I know, let's hold a poll

[Terra]

i vote no on the buttsecks. there is enough chocolate going around on valentine's day

[Lenor]

Su una ramera loca, usted jode tan bueno cuando su en la cima de mí

[Cosmo Electrolux]

okay, so no buttsecks. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, anyway. How about bourbon...nothing says "I love you" like a bottle of Woodford Reserve.

[adept_ninja]

Take him out to dinner and a bitching concert.

[Lenor]

A bottle of jameson whisky n' a really good jenna jameson porno!

[Sethomas]

Su una ramera loca, usted jode tan bueno cuando su en la cima de mí

Are you trying to say "you're a crazy slut, you fuck this well when you're on top of me?" Or something like that? Because it's painfully obvious you don't understand that "su" isn't the same thing as "you're", but rather "your".

Plus, why the shit would you call someone a slut then refer to them as "usted"?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

A bottle of jameson whisky n' a really good jenna jameson porno!


porn? may as well have the buttsecks. >:

[Dixie]

He's been allowed the buttsecks for a few years now so buttsecks isn't really that special and threesomes are something you do before getting married and we already did that too. No to the porno, we already have a lovely library of such material, we both think Jenna screwed up her boobies anways.. :(
The concert thing sounds good but there's nothing good playing here that night.
Fire is looking pretty damn good still.

[SKATERMONKEY]

I hope I still get to have that much fun once I'm married.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Buy alot of weed and throw it at a cop.

[Grislygus]

Translation:
Gettim onna THEEEESE
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/toy.jpg

[kahljorn]

:lol that's the funniest thing ive read on here for a while :O

I think I misunderstood your joke possibly though because i thought you were referring to Zbf being a dumbass so you were saying there was a TRAP being sprung on zbf because he's so stupid and his own stupidity ensnares him, and the "Translation" part before.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Its sad that I dont understand what that means and even worse that I really want one of those.

[sspadowsky]

He's been allowed the buttsecks for a few years now so buttsecks isn't really that special and threesomes are something you do before getting married and we already did that too. No to the porno, we already have a lovely library of such material, we both think Jenna screwed up her boobies anways.. :(
The concert thing sounds good but there's nothing good playing here that night.
Fire is looking pretty damn good still.

:love Jumpin' Jesus. Get him a divorce. Then move in with me.

[Dixie]

As far as Valentines' gifts go I may end up cooking a big dinner again, this time it looks like steak! Red meat, alcohol, and lots of bumpin' uglies with kinkiness of things you do not need details of, does that sound ok or should I go for more?


I really shouldn't post here when i've been drinking. Sorry.
Edit:There are things I really shouldn't post about.

[Supafly345]

Hey, I could use some ideas, I can never think of more than the same award winning routine.

[Chojin]

Put that part back up where you talk about wanting to bang lolitas, that was hot :<

Fire is looking pretty damn good still.

http://glowbelly.homestead.com/files/maryland/fireyay.jpg

[Emu]

There is nothing that's not appropriate for I-Mockery

Except anything Seven Force posts

Drink away, you heroes

[Dixie]

Sorry, that was just something I shouldn't have posted about in such a manner. But, I did tell her to give us a call when she's 18. Hopefully she doesn't get herpes between now and then.
As for Valentines Day, it looks like I'm going to do a big dinner this year again. This time it'll be asian cuisine (no dogs or cats though, for some reason the neighborhood strays don't come to my yard). And I bought a cute little black silk kimono styled robe with some pretty lingerie to go underneath. :D This may work.....

[SKATERMONKEY]

I wrote a poem. It doesnt cost anything but I think it means so much. Simple things... Valentines Day is such a hallmark holiday I don't think it warrants spending. Not that I'm a cheap*skate* but I think if you love someone you show the person as often as you can not just once a year. And it has more thought to it.

[Dixie]

I saw your Turbo Tax rap, THAT DOESN'T COUNT.

[kahljorn]

Why don't you get some good drugs? maybe you could get some ecstacy or some type of pill that makes people bubbly and happy. that's what id do :O that and italian food.

[SKATERMONKEY]

I'll let you get away with that, only because you're cute :)

[Dixie]

Kahl, while your sentiment is appreciated, I try to sway away from discussing illegal substances and activities on message boards.
Besides, ecstasy puts holes in your brains and I'm naturally bubbly and happy. :D

[SKATERMONKEY]

off with his head.

[Grislygus]

Considering your last post, I refuse to think about the possible ramifications of that comment.

[kahljorn]

doing it once won't put a hole in your head ;o

[Dixie]

Considering your last post, I refuse to think about the possible ramifications of that comment.
IT DOESN'T EXIST!

[BlueOatmeal]

I totally gave the girl I have a crush on at Starbucks a valentines day card. It was a Hello Kitty card and she was all like "OOOOOOOOOHHH IT SO CUTE" then everybody else wanted one.

[Rez]

she called me on the phone while she was on the net so IM'd her this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/rez/VALENTINE.jpg

i thought it was like those kids who spend afterschool craft time making their moms a lovely necklace that was instaed a hideous piece of crap, so it was funny, but she just said it was "creepy"

:(

edit: thats a dog head on an owl's body with owl eyes. some people couldnt tell.