Beethoven's 2nd [Archive] - I-Mockery Forum

thordog

Feb 25th, 2007, 08:11 PM

Egad! No this can't be what I'm seeing. I must be going loony. Good Heavens!! It's true! High Tech Expressions has done it! Please excuse me while I vomit. “Hooolaaaaghhhpttt!!!” *Whoo* I feel a little better now. I'll go on with the review. Story:1- First of all, how many times have we seen the plot of having to save somebody in a video game? A zillion billion? I don't know the real number but it seems as though it has been done again. However, this time you are not saving a princess. They could not be that kind. Instead, you have to save Beethoven’s 4 stinkin’ puppies. Why couldn't they have made it so the object of the game was to go on a killing rampage? You are a St. Bernard after all. Have you ever seen one of those things before in real life? They are HUGE. Game Play:1 I can't believe High Tech Expressions expects you to beat a game where the character you're being controls like a slug crawling over salt. Beethoven's jump is worse than Mega Man's. He can barely make it over a 2 foot fence! And for an attack? All this stupid dog can do is bark! If you press Y once really fast, his bark only shoots about 1 foot away from him. Hold Y for a few seconds, and it will go all the way across the screen. Whoopee. X makes him bite low to the ground. But that is not an attack, you use that move to pick up items. Items include chicken legs, steaks, and of course, bones. I wish I could make Beethoven choke on one of those bones. Graphics:2 It's pretty bad when the best thing Nintendo Power has to say about this game is "Some of the digitized graphics look okay when they're not in motion." Enemy Creativity:2- Note: From this point on, I'm going to add this form of rating to all my reviews on platform games. Why? Why?! Couldn't they have at least worked on the enemies a LITTLE?! You're enemies include cats, poodles, lanterns, kids on skateboards, and falling apples(yes, falling apples). Beethoven is a St. Bernard for Pete's sakes! Those things could take a bullet or 2 in the hide and still make it! And you mean to tell me that FALLING APPLES hurt him? I'm stunned. Music/Sound:1 Even the music & sound is bad! The music sounds scary & depressing to me. And I don't even want to talk about the sound effects. Originality:2 This is one of those platform games that should've never been made. I wonder whose idea it was anyway to make a Beethoven 2 movie? I mean the first one was okay. But the second movie stunk like a St Bernard's droppings on a summer day. Overall Rating:2 I'm warning you. DO NOT download this piece of dog crap. You will be sorry.