MAXIMUM BLOGBANK UPDATE!

[mburbank]

There is 'fresh' material at my 'Blog'. I will use this thread to let you know when 'fresh' material has been posted.

This Blog, hosted by Cracked, is purely comedy. You will not be exposed to the endless tediata of my personal life or actual 'musings' although entires may often ape those forms. It is strictly to make you 'laugh' for 'free', so by all means, frequent it and tell all your peers that it is another fine BRANDMAX BURBANK JOINT.

http://blogbank.cracked.com/

[mburbank]

Visit my Blog for ponderings on the topic of "Bong Hits 4 Jesus"

[JohhnyDamage]

If this stoned kid gets his way, and wins this case, then I shall come over to your house the following Friday. I won't do anything latently rude, but I'll prepare corned beef. It'll be slightly dry and served with sub par mashed potatoes. You'll eat them though, so you'll look like you're appreciative. That'll be my great stand. Also my abuse of the law.

Because even though it is your dwelling, I have my rights, damn it.

[mburbank]

3/21; I have posted a new entry on my 'Blog'. It inlcudes a lovely cartoon, and a brief description of my recent abduction.

[mburbank]

More new material and a secret from my youth is revealed.

http://blogbank.cracked.com (http://blogbank.cracked.com/)
(http://www.blogbank.cracked.com/)

[mburbank]

Updated again today, a political piece this time. It also includes an illustration of Karl Rove as an obese monster.

http://blogbank.cracked.com (http://blogbank.cracked.com/)

[sspadowsky]

It also includes an illustration of Karl Rove as an obese monster.

I believe that is simply called a "picture of Karl Rove."

[mburbank]

Did you go see it? Drawing it gave me a nightmare.

[sspadowsky]

Yes. I'd say it's good enough to hang in the White House hallway. I mean, that's not a drawing, that is a portrait, man.

[mburbank]

Soul portrature, that is my current aim.

Ah loves me mah photoshop. Greatest artistic inventiom since the sketch a sketch

[mburbank]

I just posted an open letter from
SANJAYA MALAKAR!

http://blogbank.cracked.com (http://blogbank.cracked.com/)

[Protoclown]

I have NO IDEA who that is! But I will read it anyway.

[mburbank]

It's an American Idol finalist and his hair. Thanks for reading though. I have zero way of knowing what kind of readership the Blog is getting, if any.

[Protoclown]

Yeah, it's always frustrating when you don't get any feedback, and you have no idea if people are even reading it, if anybody gives a crap, if you're wasting your time or whatever. Though I guess if you're getting paid, you're not really wasting your time...but yeah, I hear ya, man. I hear ya.

[mburbank]

Yeah, they don't exactly pay me for the Blog. In fact, they don't pay me for it at all. It's sort of a blind faith attempt to get my damn name out there. I should ask if they can at least track it for me. That way I'd know how far down the ROAD TO FAME I have gone.

[mburbank]

4/5, a new 'essay' posted.

[mburbank]

4/10, posted a list of proving I do not know how to make the masterful comic constructions of Jeff Foxworthy work

[mburbank]

4/12, a very short bit on John McCain goin' crazy.

[mburbank]

Look. I added a 'signature'.

[Chojin]

Damn kids and all their 'techno' 'wizardry' and shit.

[mburbank]

I have just posted the transcript of a whitehouse press briefing on my blog. It really, really is the transcript and not something I wrote, I swear.

[mburbank]

I just posted a new entry on my Blog about things I like. Maybe you will like them too.

[mburbank]

James "Scotty" Doohan's ashes were blasted into space on Saturday. I have written a 'blog' entry about it. Go read it, why don't you?

[mburbank]

There is now a list on my 'Blog' of things it would be awesome for me to have. You should go read it.

[mburbank]

I just put up some exellent celebrity 'Dish'. The link to my blog is in my signature, which appears just below this line of text.

[mburbank]

Randy Jackson, Congenital Moron, is 'In the house', 'At my Blog.'

[mburbank]

The Litany of the Father can be read now at my blog.

[Protoclown]

I tried to leave a comment on one of your blog entries but I kept getting an "internal server error" from cracked.com. :\

[mburbank]

That's weird, 'cause I got your comment and approved it. I'll have to go check and see if it posted.

[Protoclown]

Ah, then I guess it managed to go through before it timed out!

[mburbank]

I have just posted an illustration and 'Blog' entry on what it might atke to get Alberto Gonzales fired.

[mburbank]

Go read my new blog entry on how Scooter Libby and Paris Hilton have suffered enough.

[mburbank]

I have written an entry of the Pentagon's 'gay bomb'.

[mburbank]

There is a new entry and illustration about Donlad Trumps proposed reality series

[kahljorn]

I'm currently leaving a comment.. and getting the same problem as proto :O anyway, good stuff mang. I showed the paris hilton/scooter thing to my girlfriend and she thought it was funny, too.

[mburbank]

Thank you sir; Don't worry about that message, it's set up so I have to approve a comment before it gets published, as lots of spambots hit these things. Your comment is now up, and thanks. I particularly appreciatte you showing my stuff to someone else, that's what I rely on so that after I'm dead I can be famous.

[mburbank]

I just posted a Whitehouse Press Briefing

[Chojin]

Just so you're aware, it isn't normal for blogs to give people an error, even while screening ;< Also, it's really easy to get a freeware program that will make people have to type in a verification code shown on-screen to post - I took my 200 daily spam messages at WiiKitty down to 0, ever, as soon as I did that.

Also, does Cracked pay you to keep your blog there? If not, have you asked Rog if he'd be interested in keeping it as a regular thing on this site? You'd probably get more views - I'd guess from the amount of comments you're getting at Cracked that fewer than 20 people are finding your blog a day. You could also think about posting these entries directly to this forum!

[mburbank]

Did you also get an error message? I shall alert the staff.

About where it is, RoG graciously has said he would host it, and that may be it's eventual disposition, (Cracked does not pay me as a Blogger, neither did National Lampoon, my former host).

Here's my thinking though, and tell me what you think, as I am fairly ignorant in the ways of the web.

I feel like putting my Blog at I-mock, while it would increase the # reading my Blog, would not increase my overall readers. It would be the same people who already read my other stuff here. If I draw a few new readers at Cracked, that widens my audience, and I use the Blog to make them aware of I-mock.

As it is, I have no real idea of the size of my readership, or what they are like demographically, so it's all shooting in the dark for me. Every now and then through Google I see that somebody has posted something of mine on their 'myspace' page or some such silliness that lets me know that in fact beyond regular posters on this board people are actually reading my work.

If you (or anyone, for that matter) has some sort of handle on how all this works, I'd love feedback. It's not so much the possability of money that fame would bring me, as it is my intense, emotional neediness.

No, it's the money.

And the things I could get with it.

Like helper monkeys.

And girls.

And girl helper monkeys with magic wands.

[mburbank]

And, appropos of this, I have just 'blogged' on the subject of my audience not having made me famous yet.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

great stuff Max. I left a comment, but recieved an error after posting it. Maybe it'll show up

[mburbank]

I have just posted an open letter from Vice Presient Dick Cheney on my 'blog'

[mburbank]

The letter from the Vice President now has an illustration to go with it, (The image uploader wasn't working when I first posted) that is one of my best, if I do say so myself.

[mburbank]

I have posted a new political cartoon and an entry about being on hold at mine blog

[mburbank]

Go see an awesome new political cartoon and read my entry about how excited I am by all the cool stuff going on these days.

[mburbank]

An illustrated entry in which Tony Snow and Alberto Gonzales have a lieing contest is now available.

[Chojin]

Hey, sorry max, just saw your reply in here.

Having a blog in a premier location at cracked would help, but as-is it isn't helping much due to its placement. Having your blog hosted at i-mockery would, true, mostly get the same readers you get here. HOWEVER, if you tie an RSS feed into it (nicknamed Really Simple Syndication), then people can subscribe to your blog and have it delivered to them every time you update.

So, if you host it at i-mock, you get more total readers, and get a higher subscription rate through RSS. Then you move up in rank for RSS feeds, eventually to the point where it shows up on other websites as a big comedy rss blog. THAT'S how you get more readers through a modern blog.

Don't know if the blogging software you use now does rss. A great free one that DOES is Wordpress (http://www.wordpress.com). Just ask rog to install it on i-mockery for ya. Another benefit of Wordpress is that it'll show you who all is linking to your blog.

[mburbank]

Todays entry is about my MySpace experience

[Yggdrasill]

Mid-life myspace

[mburbank]

I know, huh? And it's only midlife if I'm really lucky. I mean, it's midlife if I live to be Ninety, right? And I only want to live that long if I can either maintain my mental faculties enough to be a huge cranky pain in the ass, or be, like a drooling vegetable huge pain in the ass. Anything in between would fry my bacon. Actually, my main plan is to maintain my faculties, but PRETEND to be getting more and more delusional, so I can do really awful stuff and get away with it.

[mburbank]

In my latest Blog entry, you can find out more about me. Or less, on account of almost nothing I wrote is true.

[mburbank]

Todays entry details some things which impair your ability to drive safely even more than drinking and talking on a cell phone.

[mburbank]

Today at "Maximum Blogbank" I begin to refine my idea of 'beautiful Comedy'.

[mburbank]

Today I ruminate upon the deaths of Ingmar Bergman and Tom Snyder

[Chojin]

Sure, just totally blow me off there

[mburbank]

Wait, what did I blow you off about now?

[Chojin]

I was dispensing useful information and then you just started going on about a blog or something, I dunno

[kahljorn]

couldn't you just have a blog on cracked AND i-mockery?

[mburbank]

Actually, I will as part of the overall site redesign.

Oh, and Eric, your information was as always most enlightening. I just don't know what to do with it. But whenever I am 'stymied' by my lack of understanding internetwise, you are the first person I think of.

[mburbank]

I have recently posted a brief ramble about my encounter with the late Marlon Perkins, host of "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom"

[mburbank]

I begin my Presidential candidate review with a reaction to Hillary Clinton

[mburbank]

My Musings on the ever dreamy Zac Afron are now available