A naughty asian schoolgirl wants to call me "master" what do I do?

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

So my fiance (see naughty asian schoolgirl) actually she's well behaved and she's graduating college next month but I like to call her that.

Anyway when we became engaged she switched from calling me honey to calling me "master" and when i asked why she said it's her culture.

I asked other asian girls if this is true and almost got slapped. But other Philippine ones say it's their way of keeping their husband in line. The man THINKS he's in control and gets a big ego but by calling him master they get whatever they want. It's also an old cultural thing like calling a teacher sensie it just means master of the house (which is where the word Mister comes from)

So I figured even though I'm NOT into domination and do NOT support the idea of a woman being oppressed. She's happy so I'm gonna let it go all "I dream of Genie" for a while.

The scary part? She also calls her father "master" which either fits the culture or she's a PERV!

Oh yeah, and my mom heard and went nutz cause she is a hardline feminist. So I used this to piss her off. I would never treat a woman like she was my servant or less then me, but my mom doesn't need to know that and she needs to stay the hell out of my relationships. After all She never let me have a say when I was growing up and she was the feminist whore trading men like pokemon cards.

[Terra]

so you're getting laid, yes? who gives fuck-all? congratulations and all that. no go crawl into a ben-wah box and deal with it.

asshole. >:

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

ben-wah?

[Terra]

hey i'm in missouri too. there is an oriental shop that has ben wahs in the same shopping vector as me. if you don't know jack apple shit about those things you have an imposter asian!

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

http://img11.imagepile.net/img11/338180px-Balls.jpg

en Wa balls (also known as Burmese bells or Geisha balls) are small, marble-sized metal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal) balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around — used for sexual stimulation (by insertion into the vagina (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina) or anus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anus)). Some may also be solid, or contain clappers or chimes within; other larger versions made of plastic encasing lesser balls are called Duotone balls. Reportedly, there is also a pair consisting of one containing a drop of mercury and the other, a tiny vibrating metal tongue, giving a uniquely erotic sensation even at the slightest movement of hips or legs (Sex in History, Reay Tannahill). They are used by inserting them into the vagina and using muscles to hold them in, and movement to stimulate and vibrate. Ben Wa balls are said to originate in Japan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan) where they were called rin no tama (鈴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%88%B4)之 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E4%B9%8B)玉 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%8E%89) or 鈴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%88%B4)の (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E3%81%AE)玉 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%8E%89))('tinkling bells') and were made either of metal or ivory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivory); "Ben Wa" is a brand name. Originally they were a single ball placed in the vagina, used to enhance the act of coitus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus), but shortly evolved into multiple metal covered balls linked by either a chain or silk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silk) string for easy removal. Usage of Ben Wa balls create a subtle stimulation, not meant to bring the user to immediate orgasm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm) but rather to tease. It is possible to leave Ben Wa balls in one's vagina all day, or use them while seated in a rocking chair (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocking_chair), for an effect that some find pleasurable.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Wa_balls#_note-0)
At the end of the sixteenth century, Ralph Fitch (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Fitch), an English traveller, encountered them in the Shan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shan) States of Burma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma). He described their use there by men. Less than a dozen years later, the Florentine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florentine) merchant Francesco Carletti (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Francesco_Carletti&action=edit) also reported their use in Thailand (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thailand), where they were used to enlarge the penis.
Ben Wa balls may also be used to simply increase the strength of the pelvic floor muscles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelvic_floor_muscles), much as the Taoist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist) practice The Deer Exercise (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_Sexual_Practices#Exercises) has been used for centuries, and the Kegel exercises (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercises) are used today. Similar to Kegel exercises, Ben Wa balls and other shaped vaginal weights are recommended by gynecologists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynaecology) and obstetricians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstetrics) to increase vaginal elasticity and bladder control. Vaginal weights come in a cylindrical shape and are used in increasing weights to strengthen the vagina, which improves sexual performance. Mild urinary incontinence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_incontinence), such as that which occurs while coughing, laughing, or sneezing and occurs more often as women grow older, can be treated with Ben wa balls, vaginal weights, or Kegel exercises.
In Chinese (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_language), Ben Wa balls are called 阴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%98%B4)道 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%81%93)球 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%90%83) or 内 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%86%85)用 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%94%A8)球 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%90%83).

[executioneer]

A naughty asian schoolgirl wants to call me "master" what do I do?

KILL YOURSELF

[Terra]

http://img11.imagepile.net/img11/338180px-Balls.jpg

en Wa balls (also known as Burmese bells or Geisha balls) are small, marble-sized metal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal) balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around — used for sexual stimulation (by insertion into the vagina (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina) or anus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anus)). Some may also be solid, or contain clappers or chimes within; other larger versions made of plastic encasing lesser balls are called Duotone balls. Reportedly, there is also a pair consisting of one containing a drop of mercury and the other, a tiny vibrating metal tongue, giving a uniquely erotic sensation even at the slightest movement of hips or legs (Sex in History, Reay Tannahill). They are used by inserting them into the vagina and using muscles to hold them in, and movement to stimulate and vibrate. Ben Wa balls are said to originate in Japan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan) where they were called rin no tama (鈴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%88%B4)之 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E4%B9%8B)玉 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%8E%89) or 鈴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%88%B4)の (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E3%81%AE)玉 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%8E%89))('tinkling bells') and were made either of metal or ivory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivory); "Ben Wa" is a brand name. Originally they were a single ball placed in the vagina, used to enhance the act of coitus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus), but shortly evolved into multiple metal covered balls linked by either a chain or silk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silk) string for easy removal. Usage of Ben Wa balls create a subtle stimulation, not meant to bring the user to immediate orgasm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm) but rather to tease. It is possible to leave Ben Wa balls in one's vagina all day, or use them while seated in a rocking chair (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocking_chair), for an effect that some find pleasurable.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Wa_balls#_note-0)
At the end of the sixteenth century, Ralph Fitch (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Fitch), an English traveller, encountered them in the Shan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shan) States of Burma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma). He described their use there by men. Less than a dozen years later, the Florentine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florentine) merchant Francesco Carletti (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Francesco_Carletti&action=edit) also reported their use in Thailand (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thailand), where they were used to enlarge the penis.
Ben Wa balls may also be used to simply increase the strength of the pelvic floor muscles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelvic_floor_muscles), much as the Taoist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist) practice The Deer Exercise (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_Sexual_Practices#Exercises) has been used for centuries, and the Kegel exercises (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercises) are used today. Similar to Kegel exercises, Ben Wa balls and other shaped vaginal weights are recommended by gynecologists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynaecology) and obstetricians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstetrics) to increase vaginal elasticity and bladder control. Vaginal weights come in a cylindrical shape and are used in increasing weights to strengthen the vagina, which improves sexual performance. Mild urinary incontinence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_incontinence), such as that which occurs while coughing, laughing, or sneezing and occurs more often as women grow older, can be treated with Ben wa balls, vaginal weights, or Kegel exercises.
In Chinese (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_language), Ben Wa balls are called 阴 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%98%B4)道 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E9%81%93)球 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%90%83) or 内 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%86%85)用 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%94%A8)球 (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E7%90%83).

you googled it you asshole, didn't you? you are going to marry a faker asian girl. any asian girl worth her salt, would have her very own ben wahs (ten sets for the pros) for those lonely nights when your fucked up beyond life and she needs a little "something." which also means you'll be going the 'hary kari' way and slitting your own throat when you find out you can't pleasure her like the old bennies.

happy trails to the "sho me" fucktard. :lol

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

she's a virgin so that might explain why she either doesn't have (or hasn't told me about) her balls.

[Sam]

This thread is gross.

[Seven Force]

I knew you were the kind of asshole that likes balls in your anus.

I just thought you weren't that ballsy (hahahah balls) enough to post about it on the internet.

[MattJack]

OH NOES ASIAN SCHOOL GIRLS WANT TO CALL ME MASTER

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

<3
ASSHOLE

[Seven Force]

You are also correct that she's just giving you a big ego trip that will undoubtabley more than compensate for what little there is downstairs.

[Seven Force]

she's a virgin so that might explain why she either doesn't have (or hasn't told me about) her balls.

Also normal virgin girls shouldn't have balls. What massage parlor did you trawl anyway? :lol

[Sam]

THIS THREAD COULD ALSO BE CALLED "MY NAME IS COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG I MAKE HUGE THREAD TITLES WHENEVER I MAKE A THREAD WHEN I RETURN MONTHLY TO SHIT UP ALL THERE IS TO BE SHAT UPON AND USUALLY MY THREADS ARE ABOUT SOMETHING STUPID LIKE BRAGING ABOUT MY ASIAN GIRLFRIEND JUST TO MAKE YOU ALL JEALOUS BECAUSE EVERY GUY ON THE INTERNET LOVES ASIAN GIRLS AND IS DESPERATE FOR ONE"

SERIOUSLY YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT THREAD

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

i tried once. post limit.

[Seven Force]

REMEMBER THAT ONE THREAD HE MADE WANTING US TO ATTACK A VIDEOGAME FORUM HE WAS BANNED FROM BECAUSE HE DARED TO GO AGAINST THE NORM AND THINK THAT FF7 WAS AN "ALRIGHT" GAME?

[Seven Force]

If that's you in your avatar you look like a total queermo. :(

[Sam]

This thread should be the one titled "Why it's gross to kiss your sister" and Courage the Cowardly Dog is the gross outcome AND WE ALL FIGURE OUT WHY IT'S GROSS TO KISS YOUR SISTER BECAUSE COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG HAPPENS AND I AM TALKING ABOUT BROTHER SISTER BABY MAKING IF YA'LL CAN"T FIGURE IT OUT

[kahljorn]

i think it is him because i remember someone looking like dawson from dawsons creek :(

[DuFresne]

I remember he posted a picture of himself before. That's him.

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

People I have been compared to.
friends say "Hanson"
GOOD friends say "Leon Kennedy" (hence the avi)
nerds say "Link from Zelda"
Fiance says "Aaron Carter"
Mom says "John Cusack"
Strangers say "Ferris Beuller"
Now "Dawson" that's really really sad.

Well at least I landed an Asian and you didn't

As for the balls, all this time I've been hanging them on reindeer. I thought that's what they were. Now I'm gonna laugh everytime I hear the song Jingle bells. So when Santa gives a little girl a pir of jingle bell he's.... making a pass at her? This clears up the having them sit on his lap thing.
http://www.jmadigan.net/potd/2005/01-03-05.jpg

[Seven Force]

Normal people who arent related to you and therefore do not have any mental deficiencies would say you look like a pretentious cock-master. A glorified fleshlight given some semblance of intelligence and what you would mistakenly call "feelings".

[noob3]

let your imaginary virgin asian schoolgirl fiancee call you master. i mean, with imaginary virgin asian schoolgirl fiancees, anything is possible! just remember to keep posting about your imaginary virgin asian schoolgirl fiancee on internet message boards, that way, the dream will always stay alive! :love

BECAUSE IF OTHER PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR IMAGINARY ASIAN VIRGIN SCHOOL GIRL FIANCE, YOU WON'T GET TO PRETEND YOU HAVE AN IMAGINARY ASIAN VIRGIN SCHOOLGIRL FIANCEE ON THE INTERNET DUDE

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

i imagined a pic of her too
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2qxqfbo

[noob3]

gj finding ugly girls on the internet :lol

[noob3]

that girl looks like she has a cock! :x

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

just the one I put in her mouth

[Sam]

YEAH OKAY TRIUMPH :rolleyes

[Seven Force]

yeah i bet it was like suckin on a dum dum pop

[noob3]

u cant put a cock into an ugly imaginary asian virgin school girl fiancee who looks like she has a cock's mouth

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/17-wedding.jpg

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

mine is cuter
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=4dp34ac

She was the hottest one in the catalogue i ordered her out of.

[Seven Force]

no one cares shut the fuck up

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

Someone's angry they didn't order one. Ya want me to send you my old catalogue? It's cheaper then buying them off ebay.

[Seven Force]

STOP ROLLING WITH THE PUNCHES YOU FAG

[Sam]

OH NO HE DIDN'T *SNAPS*

[Seven Force]

WE WILL HIT YOU HARDER

[Seven Force]

WE'LL FUCK YOU UP SO BAD YOUR CHINK PROGRAMMER KIDS WILL NEED ASPRIN

[arg_zombies]

I WANT TO TYPE MENACINGLY AS WELL >:

[Seven Force]

You can suck a dick you dumb limey pork faggot

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

I WANT TO TYPE MENACINGLY AS WELL >:
What would an inbred pentacostal do in this situation?

gdhwewq xc bc vbtt ys fas f vgx bd yh raa JKIJF

I'M TYPING IN TONGUES!

[arg_zombies]

You can suck a dick you dumb limey pork faggot

WELL MAYBE I WILL >:



Oh, and I think you should start calling her Master ad watch her crumple back into her culture :eek

[Seven Force]

When you have a dick in your mouth anything you say would become completely incomprehensible, it's not necessarily speaking in tongues.

[arg_zombies]

TONGUE FETISH

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

why would a penis in my mouth affect my typing?

[arg_zombies]

Maybe... you like to.. use both hands as well?
I don't know, I didn't start it :(

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

your mom likes to use both hands when i'm sucking her dick.

[Seven Force]

why would a penis in my mouth affect my typing?

I never said it did. You're probably giving your dad his nightly blowjob as you're typing. Might have something to do with all these dumb posts you're making.

[noob3]

how u gona type if ur giving a ball massage

[executioneer]

i would imagine the jizz would gum up the keyboard something fierce eventually

[arg_zombies]

your mom likes to use both hands when i'm sucking her dick.


Dude, I was fine with the saying my mum has a dick.. but saying you suck it? Please, no, redeam yourself.

Don't be tranny cocksucker :tear