HOW DO I SHOT WEB

[Guitar Woman]

So, like, I'm trying to open a few torrents, right? Right. And I'm using uTorrent to do it, as has worked exceptionally well in the past, right? Right. So I fire it up again today for the first time since like 5 months ago, and I try and start downloading the stuff, and after an hour of not doing anything, it's still, uh, not doing anything. I've tried a bunch of shit (the "force download" option, clicking on the start button a lot, yelling at my monitor, etc.) but I can't figure out what the hell is going on.
http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/908/untitled1jo7.png
help :(

[Guitar Woman]

So one of them just started for no apparent reason and is now downloading at a painfully slow rate, but it's SOMETHING. To give me HOPE. :<

[Guitar Woman]

OK THEY ALL JUST STARTED AS IF IN MOCKERY OF MY CRY FOR HELP

F*CK YOU INTERNET I HATE YOU

[Chojin]

If you connect to the internet through a router, you will probably have to enable port forwarding for your computer's internal IP on the same ports and protocols that uTorrent uses. That information should be somewhere in the options under 'connections' or 'ports' or something.

As far as finding your computer's IP, go to start->run, type 'cmd', type 'ipconfig', and you'll have it. If your router uses DHCP (default on most routers, gives you an IP automatically and changes when the router is reset), you'll have to change the port forwards on the router every time that happens. My router in specific allows you to force a particular IP for certain MAC addresses (a MAC address is like a computer's social security number ;<) connected to the network, so I can always keep 192.168.2.42 forwarded on ports TCP 6666-6667 for Azureus/uTorrent, in my example.

[Guitar Woman]

So I just opened up the info box on the bottom which I didn't even know existed, and apparently the reason it's taking them so long to start downloading it because it has to go through a series of websites to actually find the damn thing, and as this is a complicated and spastic process it takes it about an hour to do. The one torrent I saved to my computer starts up right away, though, so I guess it's not my computer or the program's fault.

[Chojin]

You should still make sure that your TCP and UDP ports for the torrent program are open, because it'll greatly improve the speed at which you download and also open you up to more potential seeders. I don't know where it is in uTorrent, but there should be a 'test' button in the options somewhere to see if it can access the internet as well as it should.

Also, make sure your upload speeds are consistent with your connection. Torrents work on a ratio of UL/DL, so having a correct and high upload speed will speed up your torrents as well.

[Guitar Woman]

I can't find anything like what you're talking about, uTorrent apparently doesn't allow for much customization.

[Fathom Zero]

Why would you want to?

Oh, so you're one of those "cosmetics over practicality" people.

[Guitar Woman]

The download speed couldn't get much worse, I don't see any harm in tweaking it a little.