Spectacularly Poor First Impressions

[MetalMilitia]

Ever given anyone a hilariously bad first impression when you've met them? I'm sure you have, so post them here!

[MetalMilitia]

The first time one of my friends met my dad, he was in my parent's kitchen helping himself to a large piece of cheese out of the fridge.

I think he was extremely stoned also.

[MockMeAmadeus]

shit yes. went to a party and took a previous girlfriend home hoping to score real BIG. little did I know that she was up for real revenge. getting to her place I tried all the one-liners and made a move for her pants. She slapped the shit out of me and demands that I leave the flat. slept in my car and the next moment all shit broke loose when the cops were all over the place. the bitch phoned the cops and said that I tried to rape her! Try to explain THAT to your parents! :x

[MockMeAmadeus]

I know that is was not the first time I met my parents, hopefully.:lol

[MockMeAmadeus]

Or was it? I'm confused.:\

[MisSFiT]

I remember I had a guy friend sleep over and we were on the couch in the morning, my dad didn't know anyone was there and started walking down the steps naked. The guy looked at me and said "Was your dad naked?"
Needless to say, I don't think I ever talked to him again...

[Cfr5]

Needless to say, I don't think I ever talked to him again...

Your dad or your friend?

[MisSFiT]

:lol
My "friend"

[MockMeAmadeus]

your dad :rolleyes

[MisSFiT]

Your mom was there too.

[MockMeAmadeus]

She was? Thank God. Now at least I understand the reason why your dad was walking down the steps naked. He was just on his way then to fetch my mom some spliffs and coke? Now, my mother she is saucy:orgasm . Do not trust her. You better not introduce her to your guy friend. Needless to say, if you already did, I don't think he will ever talk to you again…. Luckily, you will still have your dad…. Unless you are friends with that depressing character Juttin, that couldn’t make quarterback and his father had to go off himself. In that case, all the bets are off.

Now can we just be friends, please sis?:)

Now see what you have done. You have forced me to make a spectaculary poor first impression for the second time in my life.>:

[MockMeAmadeus]

Anyways, my friend had his bachelor party years back (and many more as time continue) two days before the wedding. He got drunk and I got drunker. Our mates (from hell, I tell you) bundled us in a car and took us to a busy intersection in the city. Proceeded to strip both of us buck-naked and then cuffed us to a lamppost. Might I add that it was winter? Bastards left us there, after taking enough pictures to fill a newspaper. I passed out and next moment my friend was shaking me awake. Right in front of me was this bitch, yes BITCH, laughing and pointing at my dick. She was blubbering shit like “…. Look how small it is, hahaha!” and other LIES to that effect. The more I tried to tell her to fuck off and by the way, it is WINTER you bitch, the more she laughed. >: Wells, later our buddies (bastards!) returned and took us home.

In any case, we got through the wedding and all that. Two months later was my birthday. My friends and I decided to go to a restaurant and have the party there. I could feel a vibe that told me that some big shit is going down, but left it at that. There we are, my friends, their wives and I. (I was still single at the time) waiting on the menus to arrive whilst stuffing our face with drinks. The menus arrived and we started looking through it. I was a bit slow going through the menu, and the next moment everyone around the table burst out in laughter. And there, right fucking there under Main Course, was a picture of me naked – obviously taken during the night of the bachelors – with a description: ‘Today’s Special: Chicken. Small cock with a choice of sauces, blah, blah, blah’.:x Fuck them, fuck them, fuck, fuck.:maul

It was then that I realised that I do have a small dick. BUT ONLY IN WINTER YOU MOTHERS!>: >:

[FartinMowler]

I think I told this before but I was home with a young lady on my Waterbed and I heard my mother come home. My girl friend was half dressed and sat at the end of my bed and when my mom opened the door it wasn't opened enough to see said girlfriend. "Why are you home?" said mom (as I lay in my bed) "I'm not feeling well" and she left...

[MisSFiT]

Oh no!!! I wouldn't even want to imagine what the girl felt like.


She was? Thank God. Now at least I understand the reason why your dad was walking down the steps naked. He was just on his way then to fetch my mom some spliffs and coke? Now, my mother she is saucy:orgasm . Do not trust her. You better not introduce her to your guy friend. Needless to say, if you already did, I don't think he will ever talk to you again…. Luckily, you will still have your dad…. Unless you are friends with that depressing character Juttin, that couldn’t make quarterback and his father had to go off himself. In that case, all the bets are off.

Now can we just be friends, please sis?:)

Now see what you have done. You have forced me to make a spectaculary poor first impression for the second time in my life.>:
Oh yeah I guess that would make you my brother:|
You sort of confused me with the rest of your jibberish.

[MockMeAmadeus]

I know, I am famous for that. :)

Sister.