MAX BURBANK: ASLEEP AT HIS DESK

[sspadowsky]

Max;

It seems that, a while back, you were churning out many a humorous piece with some regularity. Lately, this has not been so. Are you busy with your "job" and "family" or something? What the hell?

THERE ARE EMPTY, SAD PEOPLE OUT HERE WHO NEED HUMOR IN THEIR LIVES, YOU SELFISH BASTARD! >:
________
Body Science (http://bodyscience.ws/)

[Mockery]

Ironically, he just sent in his latest Visionary Darkness piece to me earlier this morning. It'll be going up on the site later tonight. A fine piece 'o work too. :)

Remember when all the staff members used to send in like 1 new piece every week or two though? Man, those were good times. I feel lucky to have something new from any of the staffers every 2 MONTHS now :o

[sspadowsky]

*whew*

I guess that means I can put the cap back on the Paxil bottle.

How the hell have you been, anyway? I feel like I've lost touch with all the I-Mockery regulars. :(
________
Rhode island dispensary (http://rhodeisland.dispensaries.org/)

[Mockery]

Drop me an email sometime bud, definitely seems like we haven't talked in ages. webmaster@i-mockery.com

[noob3]

Sspad was the first mocker to try to cast the beatdown upon me, and I believe he was defending Slipknot's Iowa. ha ha ha.

[Bennett]

I think what NOOB is saying, is that he can't wait for the new contribution by Max... me neither, keep us informed!!

[Grazzt]

Likewise.

[mburbank]

Yeah, my new Job, while still at the Museum, involves lots more what you'd call work, and since I'm now frequently approving and coding more cashola in a day then I did all year in the last job I'm expected to take it sightly more seriously. That and I now report directly to the VP's of Research, production and devlopement whereas I used to be pretty mcuh just working with teachers.

Also I'm shit out of funny idears.

[Protoclown]

I'm out of funny ideas too. There are only a finite number, and I believe we have used them all up.

And now that I know Max has no more funny ideas, my plan to extract them from his skull by drilling a hole in his head and sucking his brain meats out with a straw really seems far less of a worthwhile idea.

But I've got a few ideas a'cookin.

[AChimp]

I used to write at least one article per week that ranged from kinda funny to mildly amusing to completely retarded. Now I can't even write a retarded article. :(

I think that the Internet is sucking the humour from everything.

[kellychaos]

Maybe it just got to the point where you were trying to force it and the anxiety of THAT mentally blocked you. It was work instead of fun.

[Mockery]

Max, the thought of you being in charge of/responsible for more financial stuff is a scary thought. They DO know you can't read and you have your wife type up all of your pieces for you, right?


In regards to writing...

Motivation is my biggest enemy... I always have like 20 things written down that I'd like to do a piece on. But sometimes, you just don't feel like spending all day, taking 60+ screengrabs from a cheezy horror movie, resizing and optimizing each of them, then watching it all over again so you can write up a review on it. But I think I've been more motivated lately because I'm getting less submissions from the other staffers nowadays, so I feel like I have to pick up the slack. :/ I have tried finding some more people to write for the site, but I'm extremely picky (as you know) and I never like anything anybody writes. Pjalne's stuff was cool though, hopefully he'll be submitting his next piece soon.

And currently I have a piece I want to write, but I can't find my fucking googly eyes. I NEED MY GOOGLY EYES TO FINISH IT. >:

-RoG-

[AChimp]

I had a list of about 50 headlines that I was going to write. I lost it when I reformatted my hard drive, but it didn't really matter anyways. I would always put it off until I forgot why the article was funny anyways. :/

[Carnivore]

I have tried finding some more people to write for the site, but I'm extremely picky (as you know) and I never like anything anybody writes.

You're picky? The hell you say! BTW, where do you want to go to eat?

[Krythor]

I write every now and again, but mainly for myself. Only about three or so other people ever get to read anything I write. My problem is, I take notes down on ideas that spring to mind, but by the time I come around to actually writing it, I've lost all the enthusiasm I had.

By the way, very nice piece, Max.

[pjalne]

Started working on the next piece day before yesterday, but don't expect it to be finished in another week. I can only work on it when I'm so fucking shot in the head after reading for my exam that the words I see don't make sense anymore. And then, when I try writing instead, I can't remember what things are called in English, so I try to look it up and then I realize I don't remember what the Norwegian word is either. And then I kinda got a feeling what things sound like in German or Spanish, and have to start translating from there. I mostly edit pics these days.

Self promotion: I'm a columnist for the magazine Axis of Evil, which premiers at a newsstand near YOU tomorrow. If Philly or New York are near YOU.

[Helm]

We need more Protoclown too. He's my favourite writer in Visionary Darkness.

[pjalne]

EDIT: Fuck, thought I was in a different thread.

[mburbank]

Time is my main problem.

But I'll tell you what, and this is odd. Since September 11'th unbelievable wierdness has been so thick and fast I'm suffering from sensory overload. Not only reality based material, but even fiction seems to bog down under the weight of all this stimulus.

There's too much damn grist in the mill, the mill is clogged to shit.

That and there's just so much really great pron on the net, writing seems like a waste of time for a while, and then I'm too tired to write. Then writing seems lik a waste of time, and then I'm too tired again.

Are you with me here?

[Protoclown]

We need more Protoclown too. He's my favourite writer in Visionary Darkness.

:eek OMG OMG OMG

I have a couple new ideas brewing, I just need to get off my ass and make them happen. :(

[mburbank]

Do you mean the ideas or hidding and/or pinned under your ass?