HOW I WANT TO DIE

[Jixby Phillips]

LOOKING UP while a giant earth-destroying meteor, one so big it fills the whole sky for a few minutes before hitting, slams right into earth, and me being right in the middle of it. Nobody else would be there looking up, because they'd all be in shelters thinking they can save themselves. It would seem like that the meteor is after me and me alone. Like I'm that important. Plus it would be fucking neat to see.

HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

[wreckreation]

There is a whole board for this >:

[JeefGyle]

I want to hang myself off of a bridge overlooking the freeway, just as a semitruck is coming...

[Jixby Phillips]

There is a whole board for this >:

I think you meant to say "I WANT TO DIE WHILE KISSING A GIRL KISSIE KISSIE" :lol :lol

[Zomboid]

1. Zombie bite
2. Vampire bite
3. Killed by some monster that eventually gets killed by my friends right after I say a funny line like "you bitch" or "I hope I give you the shits" :(

[JeefGyle]

I dont like you :(

[Rez]

IN A DITCH

COVERED IN PETROL

ON FIRE

*eddie izzard* :)

[Evil Robot]

I want to drown in a pool full of naked chicks

[wreckreation]

you would go to hell for lust you fucking sinner.

[glowbelly]

of cancer

[Captain Robo]

If I could choose, I would want to go down in a hand to hand fight.

But then again, I don't plan on dying anytime soon...

[wreckreation]

you never know. >:

[Captain Robo]

:| 8-) :(

[AChimp]

I'm kinda partial to parachuting over the stadium in the middle of the Super Bowl and blowing myself up in front of millions of television viewers.

[Les Waste]

AIDS :)

[Carnivore]

Narcotics overdose. Painless.

[Tropical]

Spontaneous combustion. In the schools chemistry lab if possible for a nice touch.

[ItalianStereotype]

I dont like you :(


gee, you pretty well captured the general i-mockery attitude towards you there.

[MISTER FART]

I WANT TO DIE FROM MONEY POISONING :lol

OR MAYBE BOOBIES POISONGING :lol

OR BEING FAMOUS POISONING :lol

[FS]

I'd like to have my head fall off while I'm telling a group of pre-schoolers about the wonders of turning 100.

[slavemason]

I always thought it would be fun to jump out of a plane naked and aim for something stupid, like a civil war reinactment.

Anyone looking for a theme song to this thread should look up "Severed Head" by Alice Donut (on the Mule album).

[glowbelly]

no thanks, mister sucky dj

[slavemason]

Well it's always there if you reconsider, Blowsmelly

[Zero Signal]

I plan to live forever. Or die trying. >:

[Daphne]

I want to die from a piano falling on me, or a safe/anvil. That way when people ask how I die, and someone tells them, they'll say "that's not funny, you're being terrible" and the person will say "no, seriously she was outside that piano store" and the other person won't be able to laugh or else they are the jerk.

Also it should be an open casket funeral and I want a thought bubble over my head that says "You should see the other guy!"

[glowbelly]

:lol Blowsmelly :lol

i've never heard THAT one before

[mburbank]

I want to go EXACTLY the way Sean Connory went in "The Man Who Would Be King".

Or hit by a bus, I don't reelly care which.



Like it's any of your god damn business.



buncha fucks

[noob3]

I'd like to have my head fall off while I'm telling a group of pre-schoolers about the wonders of turning 100.

:lol

[george]

i actually made a plan about this with my brother last night.

at age 65 we are going to sell everything we own and get ourselves some young girls who want to cash inour insurance policies, and then DO EVERY DRUG AND DIABOLICAL thing we can imagine until we die.

we are going to be crazy old men on the warpath with money to burn and fifteeen year old kids to corrupt.

[Ninjavenom]

I would demand that someone make a sandwich with my crotch while i hold the mcdonald's hostage, and then when they finish, blow my head off and try to get brains on somebody. :)

[JeefGyle]

i actually made a plan about this with my brother last night.

at age 65 we are going to sell everything we own and get ourselves some young girls who want to cash inour insurance policies, and then DO EVERY DRUG AND DIABOLICAL thing we can imagine until we die.

we are going to be crazy old men on the warpath with money to burn and fifteeen year old kids to corrupt.

Can I change mine?

[Rongi]

i actually made a plan about this with my brother last night.

at age 65 we are going to sell everything we own and get ourselves some young girls who want to cash inour insurance policies, and then DO EVERY DRUG AND DIABOLICAL thing we can imagine until we die.

we are going to be crazy old men on the warpath with money to burn and fifteeen year old kids to corrupt.

Can I change mine?

No, however, you can die now :)

[Rongi]

The way I'd die is when I'm in my late or early 60's, I want to strap a bomb to my chest and walk into some sort of important meeting, and denate it, getting all my guts and blood on the important papers.

[Rez]

Well it's always there if you reconsider, Blowsmelly

:dunce

[mew barios]

i'd like to drown. in a big lake or the ocean or something. i donno why. :/

[Rez]

hit by a big rig at 70mph recorded on video.

[whoreable]

at the funeral you could play it on a big screen in slow mo over and over. and also techno music.
________
Brunette fingering (http://www.fucktube.com/categories/421/fingering/videos/1)

[Rongi]

Another way I'd like to die is just explode or get brutally killed in a mosh pit and have my guts and blood all over the band memmbers, stage, and audience.

[MrAdventure]

I wouldn't mind slowly being replaced by animatronics so I can be at my funeral like something from The Hall of Presidents. :(

[Miss Modular]

In my sleep.

[Rez]

at the funeral you could play it on a big screen in slow mo over and over. and also techno music.

:lol

[sadie]

i think i'd like to die laughing. :(

[Les Waste]

You know those stupid internet videos of people getting hit by cars, or falling off buildings, or getting kicked in the crotch, or that one baby getting attacked by the cat?

That's how I want to die. I want like a piano or an anvil or something to fall on me (like Daphne) but I want someone to be recording it so it can be put on the internet. I want a bunch of idiots looking at my death and laughing, and saying "Dude, that can't be real!! No way that's real!! But it's still funny as hell!!" And I'll really be dead.

:)

[Zomboid]

i think i'd like to die laughing. :(

That's just creepy. Imagine how the person telling the joke would feel :/

[MrAdventure]

I THINK I WOULD MAKE MY ANIMABROBOT PLAY THE BARKING DOG JINGLE BELLS IN FAST FORWARD :lol THEN TUNE IT TO A LOCAL NEWS STATION SO ID ALWAYS BE UP ON CURRENT EVETNS.

[Rez]

i think i'd like to die laughing. :(

That's just creepy. Imagine how the person telling the joke would feel :/

:lol

[Rongi]

You know those stupid internet videos of people getting hit by cars, or falling off buildings, or getting kicked in the crotch, or that one baby getting attacked by the cat?

That's how I want to die. I want like a piano or an anvil or something to fall on me (like Daphne) but I want someone to be recording it so it can be put on the internet. I want a bunch of idiots looking at my death and laughing, and saying "Dude, that can't be real!! No way that's real!! But it's still funny as hell!!" And I'll really be dead.

:)

What about that monkey who drank his own piss? Is he still around :/

[Rez]

You know those stupid internet videos of people getting hit by cars, or falling off buildings, or getting kicked in the crotch, or that one baby getting attacked by the cat?

That's how I want to die. I want like a piano or an anvil or something to fall on me (like Daphne) but I want someone to be recording it so it can be put on the internet. I want a bunch of idiots looking at my death and laughing, and saying "Dude, that can't be real!! No way that's real!! But it's still funny as hell!!" And I'll really be dead.

:)

What about that monkey who drank his own piss? Is he still around :/

HARTMAN :/

[Rongi]

HARTMAN :/

Are you saying Hartman was the monkey?

[Rez]

YES >:

[Rongi]

Christ, I knew the man probably was ugly, and stupid, but really :(

[sadie]

That's just creepy. Imagine how the person telling the joke would feel :/
that's the coolest part. imagine having that power. :hypno

[Captain Robo]

HARTMAN :/

Are you saying Hartman was the monkey?

You're slow.

[Zomboid]

That's just creepy. Imagine how the person telling the joke would feel :/
that's the coolest part. imagine having that power. :hypno

You scare me :( Which reminds me....no hard feelings bout that lesbo thing a while back, right? 8-)

[Rev. Danno]

My plan for the last year has been Shooting-up Draino...
But I have a notebook detailing my wake.
It's kind of a rock-a-billy/cocktail party kinda thing.
I have the food planned out, & what local bands I want to play (depending if it happens in PHX or PDX).
But the Lithum, & Prozac kinda curb my suicidal tendencies, but not the need to burn myself with cigerettes...
My god my flesh itches.
When will the hurting stop...

[sadie]

You scare me :( Which reminds me....no hard feelings bout that lesbo thing a while back, right? 8-)
good.
and to what lesbo thing are you referring?


and danno, you are the oddest "man of the cloth" i've ever had the pleasure to meet.

[Zomboid]

You scare me :( Which reminds me....no hard feelings bout that lesbo thing a while back, right? 8-)
good.
and to what lesbo thing are you referring?




http://www.complexification.net/port/simpleDraw/index.html

I called you a lesbo on that back when the old boards were in use >:

[Rev. Danno]

Thank you Sadie, I pride myself on a dark dry sense of humor, witha dash of truth, & self loathing.
As my hero Jonny Cash told me when I was 11, Stay in school, don't do drugs, & don't let 'em get to ya' son...live right...& you'll out live those son's-a-bitches.( Really, that's what he told me!)

[sadie]

jack..

oh. yah. whatever. i rarely take real offense to anything. feigning offense, however, makes me giggle. :P

[Zomboid]

jack..

oh. yah. whatever. i rarely take real offense to anything. feigning offense, however, makes me giggle. :P

I feel bad when people feign offence :(

[sadie]

Really, that's what he told me!
do tell.
was it in person? a dream? a hallucination?

[Rev. Danno]

No really, I met Jonny Cash. He was doing the State, & County Fairs at the time.
My sister was the Queen of the Clark County Equestrian Court, & I got to go back stage, I talked to June Carter-Cash for about 15 min., then I met my Hero, Jonny Cash.
I also met Ray Stevens (Jackass).

[The Retro Kat]

I plan to die in a freak motorcycle accident when I'm 28. Then at my wake, I plan to be in the coffin with no pants on so anyone who doesn't like me can suck my balls.

[Rongi]

Wow...that was too funny kat :| Kinda like your personal picture :|

[MOMMY AND DADDY]

WELL I REALLY DONT WANT TO DIE BYU STUPDI FORUMS LIEK THIS ONE BUT I THINK THASYT GONNA HAPPEN IF I STAY HERE ONE MROE SECOND!!!!! >:

[Rongi]

You're either Mister Fart or Jixby >:

[whoreable]

yea cuase there are only 2 people in this world that act like idiots and type in caps :rolleyes
________
Kmart gift cards (http://bestfreegiftcard.com/kmart-gift-cards/)

[Rongi]

yea cuase there are only 2 people in this world that act like idiots and type in caps :rolleyes

Well, Jixby and Mr. Fart are the only two people I know who make characters on i-mock. They also act like idiots and type in caps :/

[MOMMY AND DADDY]

yea cuase there are only 2 people in this world that act like idiots and type in caps :rolleyes

Well, Jixby and Mr. Fart are the only two people I know who make characters on i-mock. They also act like idiots and type in caps :/

DONT GTE ME STARTED ON THE CROCS THIS TIME OF YEAR

EDIT: IT IS SUMMRE :)

[Jixby Phillips]

The last characters I've made are NOT Jixby Phillips and Mustache Bandit.

Mister Fart doesn't do characters on I-mockery.

MOMMY AND DADDY writes for my site:

http://www.saddadcentral.com/writings/internet/instantmessaging/mommysinc.html
http://www.saddadcentral.com/writings/internet/instantmessaging/harrypotter.html
http://www.saddadcentral.com/writings/internet/instantmessaging/tards.html
http://www.saddadcentral.com/writings/celebrities
http://www.saddadcentral.com/writings/spanish <-- BEST ONE

[sadie]

I AM WHOEVER YOU WANT METO BE BABII :-)

:lol :lol :lol

p.s. el uno espanol es estupido. no offensio. :P

[slavemason]

at the funeral you could play it on a big screen in slow mo over and over. and also techno music.
Whoreable just clued me into an agonizing death. TECHNOED TO DEATH.

[Vern Schillinger]

How i want to die is i want to drink a 1000 beers and die a happy man.

[Les Waste]

Thanks for ruining a good joke, Jixby >:

I told MOMMY AND DADDY on AIM to pretend to be a Mister Fart character by making a bunch of references to vegemite and kangaroos and crocs and what not BUT YOU RUINED IT :(

It's ok we can still go to the big dance ;)

[Jixby Phillips]

Oh I just thought she was doing her normal thing because she happens to love the crocodile hunter you know :( and I don't understand the vegimite reference :( and I didn't see any kangaroo references but If I did I would have just thought she was making a Kangaroo Jack joke :(

[Rongi]

Mister Fart doesn't do characters on I-mockery

What about Mister Fart's Lawyer :/?

[whoreable]

YOU MEAN THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE :eek
________
Jailbroken (http://jailbroken.org/)

[Les Waste]

yeah well she wasn't telling the joke very good (I think she's kind of slow and doesn't get things right away sometimes you just got to hit her in her head a few times ;)) but don't tell her that she'd kill me :(

I still don't know what vegimite is. He told me it's delicious and you put it on bread but he didn't explain what it is :( I bet its like chocolate :( ;)

[Jixby Phillips]

Oh yeah, I was Mr Farts Lawyer. I forgot because I did it for Mr Fart who couldn't even lurk there :(

[JeefGyle]

actually, I'd like to have an elaborate fight with someone all the way to the roof of a very tall skyscraper. and then end it with me tackling them off the side, and fighting the whole way down.

Suicide wont work for me, because I am too fickle about how I want to die :(

[Les Waste]

Jixby Phillip's lawyer was one of the funniest characters ever :(

I'm not even sure who that was. I just assumed it was Fart because it was so LOL :(

[MOMMY AND DADDY]

FYI i lieked the spanish site alot and I only took spanish for a semester >: PS LES WEST IS A FAG

[MISTER FART]

FYI I AM NOT MISTER FART, I DONT KNOW WHOEVER DOES HIS CHARACTER IS A UTTER INSAINE.

OH, AND YOU GUYS JUST WAIT UNTIL JIXBYIES LAWYER HEARS ABOUT THESE WORDS THIS THREAD IS ABOUT TO UGLY IT UP


[center:d1138ec5bc]I REAPEAT I AM NOT MISTER FART (OR MISTER NAUGHTY) >:>:>:[/center:d1138ec5bc]

[Les Waste]

:lol LES WEST :lol :(

[Zomboid]

Holy shit, those instant message conversations are fucking hilarious.

[starz]

noone put death by orgasm? lol...

[Systemz]

My dream death'd have to be where I donate my body to science where they replace my body with a cyborg that would shoot 10000 angry kittens out of the arms, rapid-fire, uncontrollably; but as soon as I ran out of kittens I would have a massive aneurysm and my brain would explode. I would race against the clock, running from pet store to pet store, reloading with kittens, trying to extend my life as long as possible while simultaneously unleashing waves of angry kittens helplessly. Finally, trapped on a city bus that final oragne fluffy ragdoll would eject and I'd spray cerebellum all over the old woman in the handicapped seat.

[starz]

a little scary :P

[Shut Up]

I'd jump off a tower with either a double barrel shotgun or two magnums in my mouth (can't decide which) along with a noose around my neck. I'd pull the trigger mid-way through, and the noose would rip any remaining strips of flesh entirely off my body. Plus my headless corpse would make a very nice blood-and-guts-filled explosion as a grand finale.

Trust me, I've had a lot of time to think about this.

[Anonymous]

You have the best name of any newbie ever

[jin]

I dont care how i die, as long as just before it happens i can say "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" to somebody.

ANd then Die.

ANd they would be guilty all their life because then no one can say "Dont worry it wasnt your fault" because IT IS.

That would kick ass.

aHAHAHaHAHahHAhaHAhaHAhaa

[slavemason]

You can say it to me whenever you're ready.

[jin]

I think you are in a different country, and besides, i dont want to place on you this great emotional burden - I know how fragile you are boo-boo's!

You act tough on the internet but i know you are really a soft little boy on the inside and we ALL LOVE YOU!!! // NEVER FORGET THAT!!! // YOU ARE THE FUTURE!!! // LIVE! LOVE! FOR TODAY!!! // DONT BE DEPRESSED! YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE!!!!

poor boo-boo's.

[slavemason]

That's nicer than colored bras under white Ts.

[jin]

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

[unclehobart]

Slowly being lowered into an industrial meat grinder. Feed me to the poor.

[roonTing]

I want to freefall from so high that I break the sound barrier.. then naturally I don't pull the cord and smash into the earth.

But I will most likely die in my 90's or hundreds. :(

[seanlargey]

i'd like to die while someone is yelling at me for being an asshole then they'll feel guilty for the rest of their life because they'll think that their yelling killed me, and i'll be down in hell laughing at them being all sad! lol1@# :(

[CaptainBubba]

I'd like to go to the TRL place and jump out of the window slamming to the ground in front of all the screaming Justin Timberlake Fans as they announce "50 cent in da club" just hit #1.

[Anonymous]

I don't think terminal velocity can break the sound barrier. So you couldn't pass 600 mph just falling unless you had a jetpack or something.