Fun with AIM and strangers :)

[CaptainBubba]

I went to www.buddypic.com and found this profile (http://www.buddypic.com/profile.php?username=HATRED420)

The following AIM conversation ensued:

dscoM0nkie: Omg are you really violent? omg...
VIOLNT CHILD: who the fuck is this?
dscoM0nkie: I don't know. I'm so scared and alone. don't hurt me
VIOLNT CHILD: real funny dumbshit.
dscoM0nkie: im sorry
dscoM0nkie: do you hate me?
dscoM0nkie: I knew it.
VIOLNT CHILD: uh who the fuck is this?
dscoM0nkie: A loser who found your profile on some website
VIOLNT CHILD: ohh
dscoM0nkie: I thoiught it was funny
dscoM0nkie: and I is bored
VIOLNT CHILD: thought what was funny, did you look at your ugly ass picture fuckface?
dscoM0nkie: omg so mean. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: uh yea.
dscoM0nkie: ok ok, I thought your profile was badazz hardcore!!
dscoM0nkie: but i know you dont care
VIOLNT CHILD: yea i don't care.
dscoM0nkie: i know. ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: mhmm.
dscoM0nkie: why so mean? I thought pot made you all happy and stuff
VIOLNT CHILD: wtf do you know about weed anyways shithead?
dscoM0nkie: omg I'm not a shithead. :'(. I had friends who smoked it. they used to twich alot and eneded up braindead, but they were the nicest peoples.
dscoM0nkie: i liked em
VIOLNT CHILD: good.
dscoM0nkie: u mean to me. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: hahaha
VIOLNT CHILD: you're a fagget.
dscoM0nkie: ?
VIOLNT CHILD: yea uh huh. you heard me... FAGGET.
dscoM0nkie: noooooo
dscoM0nkie: NOOOOO
VIOLNT CHILD: see you in hell FAGGET
VIOLNT CHILD: yess...
dscoM0nkie: NOOOOO
VIOLNT CHILD: YESSSS
dscoM0nkie: I'm gonna kill myself if you don't take that back mrs.mean
VIOLNT CHILD: i'm not taking it back.
dscoM0nkie: I'm getting out the razor blade
VIOLNT CHILD: you can die along with everybody right now, or when i blow the U.S up. Pick and chose bitch.
dscoM0nkie: omg, why you gonna blow the U.S up?
dscoM0nkie: so much anger...
VIOLNT CHILD: yea bitch.
dscoM0nkie: omg why?
VIOLNT CHILD: because i'm not as gay as you are screwing the same sex in the ass.
dscoM0nkie: only on holidays.
dscoM0nkie: but seriously, why so much anger?
dscoM0nkie: I've got nothing but love for everyone.
dscoM0nkie: but all u do is hate. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: damn right.
dscoM0nkie: I think you need a hug.
VIOLNT CHILD: hug me i'll stab your crotch.
dscoM0nkie: thatd hurt. Thats a sensitive place yunno
VIOLNT CHILD: no your mind is a sensetive place,
dscoM0nkie: thats true too! Dont stab me either place pls. pls.
dscoM0nkie: So i guess me and you are kind a couple now right?
VIOLNT CHILD signed off at 12:53:36 AM.
VIOLNT CHILD signed on at 12:53:51 AM.
dscoM0nkie: OMG IM IN YOUR PROFILE. I love you.
VIOLNT CHILD: shut up assfuck.
dscoM0nkie: I'm sorry.:'(
dscoM0nkie: yunoo words can hurt...
VIOLNT CHILD: WHY THE HELL DID YOU IM ME???
dscoM0nkie: I'm bored, and I liked your profile.
VIOLNT CHILD: what'd your name on buddy pic?
dscoM0nkie: same as mine here but its an old bad pic. have fun rating me a 0. ;-)
dscoM0nkie: cuz you're mean like that. ;-) ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: i can't even see you fagget.
dscoM0nkie: here, ill link
VIOLNT CHILD: link what?
dscoM0nkie: my buddy thing
dscoM0nkie: http://www.buddypic.com/profile.php?username=Dsco M0nkie
VIOLNT CHILD: i see your pic, but i can't see YOU.
dscoM0nkie: ya, its a bad pic
VIOLNT CHILD: it's a small pic.
VIOLNT CHILD: get a good pic.
dscoM0nkie: I will then. I need to take a pic sometime
VIOLNT CHILD: ya
dscoM0nkie: it is late, and i am going to go to bed. but some day, for no reason at all, probably late at night, I will IM you again.
VIOLNT CHILD: ok. whatever
dscoM0nkie: stay mean. ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: die in your sleep.
dscoM0nkie: i can only pray
VIOLNT CHILD: oh yes.
VIOLNT CHILD: hey
VIOLNT CHILD: where are you from anyways?
VIOLNT CHILD: mars?
dscoM0nkie: Yes.
dscoM0nkie: I'm from Mars

[AChimp]

:die

"Bubba, you got shot!"

Sorry, I've always wanted to post that in a thread created by you. :(

[Esuohlim]

I did this one a while ago and put it on my site.

ENetuohnav: Congratulations!
PLAYBOY48135721: whut
ENetuohnav: You have been chosen for tonight's round of the Super Fantastic Late Night Game Show Extravagana!
PLAYBOY48135721: ok
ENetuohnav: Are you excited?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav: Are you completely shocked at this once-in-a-life-time chance?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav: ARE YOU REALLY?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav:AWESOME! Let's get started! You know the rules, right?
PLAYBOY48135721: no
ENetuohnav: Well, it's rather simple. I ask 27 questions and you answer them. Answer 23 out of all 27 and you win fabulous prizes! Answer between 17 and 23 and you get not-so-fabulous prizes! Answer less than 17 correct and you give us your address, where we'll proceed to knock on your door and horribly pummel you to death! Got it?
PLAYBOY48135721: whuts pummle mean
ENetuohnav: I'm terribly sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer was "chicken". Don't worry, there's still 26 questions left!
PLAYBOY48135721: whut the fuck
ENetuohnav: Tsk tsk! Just for that, we are whittling the questions down to 24. I'm absolutely sorry, but we need to tone down the profanity a little.
PLAYBOY48135721: sry
ENetuohnav: Great! Question #2: Spell "extravaganza".
PLAYBOY48135721: extravanza
ENetuohnav: I'm sorry, that's incorrect as well! You needed a "ga" before the "n". Tough luck.
PLAYBOY48135721: i mean extravgnaza
PLAYBOY48135721: damnit
ENetuohnav: Whoops! Oh dear, the questions go down to 21. It appears that you won't be getting the fabulous prizes after all, which included a brand new DVD Player, a Microsoft Xbox, and 600 dollars in cash!
PLAYBOY48135721: i alredy have a xboz
ENetuohnav: Question #3: How many rods to the hogshead?
PLAYBOY48135721: pass
ENetuohnav: THERE IS NO PASSING!!
PLAYBOY48135721: sry
PLAYBOY48135721: i thnk 15
ENetuohnav: Nope. Sorry. Question #4: What does the Caps Lock key do on a keyboard?
PLAYBOY48135721: makes letters captal
ENetuohnav: I'm sorry, what was that?
PLAYBOY48135721: makes the ltters capital
ENetuohnav: Speak up, please.
PLAYBOY48135721: IT MAKES THE FUCKING LETTRS CAPITAL
ENetuohnav: Although the ironic use of the Caps Lock key in order to answer that particular question was too funny, I must bring the question amount down 3 once again for the use of profanity, and since you've answered less than the 17 required, I'm going to need your address.
PLAYBOY48135721: you know what fuck it
PLAYBOY48135721: this is bullshit man
PLAYBOY48135721: i bet thsi game shwo isnt even oficial
ENetuohnav: Address, please?
PLAYBOY48135721: fuck you man
PLAYBOY48135721: fcuk you to hell man
PLAYBOY48135721: im blocking you
PLAYBOY48135721: go away and leave me alone
ENetuohnav: FINE, FUCK YOU TOO, SIR!

[CaptainBubba]

How did you find him? That one was much better than mine. :(

[Anonymous]

I like esuohlim :<

[Ninjavenom]

Neat trick, Chojin. :o

Besides, Mine is the best:

PhantasmaZero: GREETINGS, MORTAL!
HeatherLu22: who are you?
PhantasmaZero: i am THOR: GOD OF THUNDER
PhantasmaZero: i have come to give thee my blessing!
HeatherLu22: Ya ok
HeatherLu22: ya
PhantasmaZero: By ODIN, i bless thy mortal existence!
PhantasmaZero: Under the watchful gaze of THOR shalt thou life be guarded!
HeatherLu22: ok
HeatherLu22: right
PhantasmaZero: How shalt i be of service to thee?
HeatherLu22: OK shut up this is Prob likr Todd or someone
HeatherLu22: like**
PhantasmaZero: nay, it is not Todd!
PhantasmaZero: How would this... TODD have access to two AIM accounts at once?
HeatherLu22: ok who is it Then HUH?
PhantasmaZero: This is none other than the son of ODIN himself!
HeatherLu22: OK your relaly stupid if you think im going to belive that
HeatherLu22: now tell me who this is
PhantasmaZero: Why dost thou doubt me, o mortal one?
PhantasmaZero: What would a mighty god such as i have to gain from LYING to thee?
HeatherLu22: Duh this is Todd im not DUMB
PhantasmaZero: Nay, Mortal, it is not, for i am carrying a conversation with todd as WE SPEAK!!
PhantasmaZero: millionsknives01: excellent smithers
PhantasmaZero: excellent indeed
HeatherLu22: O ok
PhantasmaZero: Thor has proven himself!
HeatherLu22: whatever im not talking to you if i dont know you
PhantasmaZero: fine, fine
PhantasmaZero: it's steve
HeatherLu22: whos Steve
PhantasmaZero: just kidding
PhantasmaZero: it's DIRK
PhantasmaZero: GOD OF NORMALITY
PhantasmaZero: and NON-AMAZING POWERS
PhantasmaZero: 'Twas by the gift fo a friend that i obtained this mortal screen name!
PhantasmaZero: ...please pay attention to me :-( :'(
HeatherLu22: OK
HeatherLu22: SHUT UP!
PhantasmaZero: please...
PhantasmaZero: just let Thor love you. :-(
HeatherLu22: HWat?
HeatherLu22: what***
HeatherLu22: i dont want to be loved by some one i dont know
PhantasmaZero: Thor just wants to bestow upon thee his immortal affection :-(
PhantasmaZero: how dost thou not know the face of Thor??
HeatherLu22: omg who i this?
PhantasmaZero: Dost thou livesn't under a rock?
PhantasmaZero: it's anyone but Dirk
HeatherLu22: O ok
HeatherLu22: i belive that one
PhantasmaZero: ...or IS IT??
PhantasmaZero: Thor has tricked you, o mortal one. :-(
HeatherLu22: NO NOW YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHO THIS IS BEFORE I GET REALLY MAD
PhantasmaZero: fine, fine
PhantasmaZero: it's Kyle
HeatherLu22: OMG SHUT UP AND TELL ME
HeatherLu22: NOW
HeatherLu22: no its not
HeatherLu22: Kyle who??
PhantasmaZero: i just did, mortal
PhantasmaZero: Kyle Karfer
HeatherLu22: Why are you saying MORTAL
PhantasmaZero: because thou are not a god, mortal
HeatherLu22: duh your stupid shut up and GO AWAY
HeatherLu22: omg
PhantasmaZero: why? :-(
PhantasmaZero: i am so lonely as the god of thunder
HeatherLu22: shut up
HeatherLu22: cuz i dont know you and i dont belive your kyle so GO A WAY
PhantasmaZero: whenever i get close to mortal woman, she SNAPS IN HALF AND HER ENTRAILS BURST FORTH FROM HER LIKE A STEAMING FAUCET OF GUTS!
PhantasmaZero: please, just let me talk dirty to you
PhantasmaZero: just for like... five minutes
HeatherLu22: NO
PhantasmaZero: pretty please?
PhantasmaZero: mortal
PhantasmaZero: i have never held a woman's hand!!
PhantasmaZero: there, i said it!
HeatherLu22: Look i have a boyfriend and to me you talking dirty to me im sure he wouldnt like that and i dont even knwo you and shit so NO
PhantasmaZero: he lets me talk dirty to him all the time
HeatherLu22: and i want this time for me and him to work
HeatherLu22:
PhantasmaZero: i did just last night, after a delightful romp in the sack after school, we began merrymaking and cavorting like there is no tomorrow
PhantasmaZero: i bonked him on his silly head with my hammer, and he did the same to me with his, what's the big deal?
PhantasmaZero: besides, if i wasn't Kyle, would i listen to Eminem??
HeatherLu22: ya ok well bye i dont care
PhantasmaZero: ...please?
HeatherLu22: ya ok
HeatherLu22: right BYE
PhantasmaZero: come on, it won't be bad, just for like two minutes
PhantasmaZero: you'll like it, i promise
HeatherLu22: NO
PhantasmaZero: ask Dirk, he won't mind, really
PhantasmaZero: he told me so
PhantasmaZero: he said to me he said "Kyle, if you want to talk to my girlfriend pretending you are Thor and ask her if you can talk dirty to her, it's fine by me"
PhantasmaZero: endquote.
HeatherLu22: yu dont even know dirk
PhantasmaZero: There, it's a fact.
PhantasmaZero: yes i do
PhantasmaZero: i talk to him all the time after school
PhantasmaZero: we once threw mashed potatoes at the principal's wig
HeatherLu22: i dont care
PhantasmaZero: ask Marky, i talk to dirk all the time
HeatherLu22: ok if you talk to dirk so much when did we star going out and how di you know his name was DIRK
PhantasmaZero: once we went to see a movie and in the bathroom he peed on ym foot (
HeatherLu22: ya ok
PhantasmaZero: today!!
PhantasmaZero: :-D
PhantasmaZero: he told me you don't put out because you say hugging leads to sex
PhantasmaZero: what's up with that?
PhantasmaZero: well, miss prude?
HeatherLu22: look im not talking to you!!! and im not fucken PRUDE and i didnt even say that cuz you know whta i would have sex with dirk anytime!! SO ha
PhantasmaZero: i'll bet you'd let him put it up your butt, too
HeatherLu22: OK im done talkingt o you cuz i dont even know oyu and im telling you shit you shouldnt know!!! So bye
PhantasmaZero: yeah, you so would
PhantasmaZero: twice if he wanted to
PhantasmaZero: you're sick
HeatherLu22: OK bye
HeatherLu22: I dont care
PhantasmaZero: good lord, he'd rip your anus so wide you'd need a colostomy bag
PhantasmaZero: TWO OF THEM
PhantasmaZero: =-O
PhantasmaZero: i'll bet he rapes your dog when you're no looking, too
HeatherLu22: OK look i dont know oyu and i dont want to so im just going to go and PLEASE just leave me ALNOE!!!
HeatherLu22: what if i told oyu i didnt have a dog??
PhantasmaZero: i'd say you probably grouted the dog's ass out so much it couldn't walk, so it only ate when mice jumped into it's mouth
PhantasmaZero: ...so it died of starvation
PhantasmaZero: well, Mortal goodbye
PhantasmaZero: i am off to the sky
PhantasmaZero: tell Dirk he his hung like a mouse, and i hate his face
PhantasmaZero: love, Kyle
HeatherLu22: OMG Thank you
PhantasmaZero: OMG who are you?
HeatherLu22: N0p
HeatherLu22: No**
HeatherLu22: But wait i thought you talk to him all the time
PhantasmaZero: what?
PhantasmaZero: who?
HeatherLu22: ok im sick of you ill leave if you wont
PhantasmaZero: what are you talking about?
PhantasmaZero: who is this?
HeatherLu22: No who is his
HeatherLu22: this?**
PhantasmaZero: i'm Joe, who are you?
PhantasmaZero: you IMed me, you tell me
HeatherLu22: Joe who?
PhantasmaZero: Joe Whussup
HeatherLu22: No you imed ME
PhantasmaZero: what?
PhantasmaZero: i did no such thing
HeatherLu22: um ya you did
HeatherLu22: how do oyu know about dirk if i dont know oyu and you dont know me??
PhantasmaZero: no i didn't, i was sitting here idle the whole time?
PhantasmaZero: i go to your school, fool
HeatherLu22: what?
HeatherLu22: i dont go to school with no JOE
HeatherLu22: ok so who is this?? cuz i dont go to school with no JOe??
PhantasmaZero: you don't expect me to believe that inn that entire school, there is not one kid named joe?
PhantasmaZero: you're kidding me.
HeatherLu22: Nope
PhantasmaZero: you must be utterly, utterly retarded
PhantasmaZero: have you nrever heard of probability?
PhantasmaZero: you school absolutely cannot exist without a kid named joe
PhantasmaZero: it's physically impossible
HeatherLu22: trust me you dont go to my school and i dont knwo you and you dont knwo me and so just stop talking to me in les you eel like telling em the truth@!!!
PhantasmaZero: bah, off with you, mortal whore.

[kahljorn]

with candy.

[Anonymous]

When I do it, I do it in Wordpad and use the Find/Replace function.

[Jeanette X]

Those were hilarious! Do more! Do more! :lol

[Les Waste]

LOL @ Milhouse backwards

I've been doing these for years, but I don't remember where I saved them on my computer, or if I even saved any of them.

:(

[Anonymous]

i really hate people that use 'mortal' in their everyday vocabulary :<

[The Retro Kat]

:lol Kyle Karfer.

I've got one with this fucked up bitch.

first to know this chick a little better, read teh profile

Albert Fish is aserial killer, he kill a 11 year old girl cut her up and sold her meat, " I didnt fuck around with her, she died a virgan", he kiiled 2 boys, one 6 and one 12, he cooked their flesh and ate it. He abused over 100 childern but only killed 11. He was sent to the electirc chair in 1979, he said he perpared for it like a summer picnic.

life isent a question to ask, its an experins to live

gut the girls, eat the pigs, slash the throght of everyone that lives, make them pay make them suffer, cook them good, make them raw, drink their blood, eat their flesh, but in the end all you have is your life and the dead bodys and roating flesh of the people you ate and the bodys you'ved brained. So make them good have them with some wine, eat their liver with some hot sause, bake their brains in a pie, eat it with some heart to make the pain go away.





now the convo with the sick chick

fallingiraffe: you live on a farm too?
n i r v a n554: yea
fallingiraffe: so, how big is the biggest horse you fucked
n i r v a n554: 24 inches
fallingiraffe: so, how was that
fallingiraffe: are you a guy
n i r v a n554: really good
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: a shemale
fallingiraffe: ?
n i r v a n554: no a female
fallingiraffe: quite an interesting profile you have there
n i r v a n554: yep
fallingiraffe: but anyway
fallingiraffe: did you think the horse enjoyed it?
n i r v a n554: yea
n i r v a n554: i know hedid
n i r v a n554: i fuck my horses every day
fallingiraffe: so, how did you get up there
fallingiraffe: were you on a stool
fallingiraffe: do you have them lay down?
n i r v a n554: i just fist the female horse
fallingiraffe: do you stick your underdeveloped shemale penis in their asses
fallingiraffe: wait, then what do you mean 24 inches
n i r v a n554: what???????
n i r v a n554: a 24 inch cock
fallingiraffe: how did that one work, the 24 inch cock
n i r v a n554: my horse has a 24 inch cock
fallingiraffe: did you get on a stool
n i r v a n554: what ??????
fallingiraffe: if you fucked a 24 inch horse cock, how did you get it in your vagina?
n i r v a n554: i bent over under the horse and put its cock in my pussy
fallingiraffe: ok, thats all i asked, did it hurt
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: does any one ever tell you thats fucked up
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: hmmmm
n i r v a n554: my mom and sis do it with me
fallingiraffe: why do you fuck horses and not people
n i r v a n554: horses are better
n i r v a n554: the cock is bigger
fallingiraffe: im gonna be honest, maybe im the first one to tell you this, but believe me, its true, thats fucked up
fallingiraffe: does it cum all over you and such
n i r v a n554: i konw but its still fun
fallingiraffe: i mean, it is fucked up
fallingiraffe: damn
n i r v a n554: yea
fallingiraffe: has it ever kicked you
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: it should, cause that is fucked fucked fucked, up
fallingiraffe: im gonna barf for awhile now
fallingiraffe: bye

[Esuohlim]

It takes a while to get someone good to talk to you. 90% of the time I get people that answer back once or leave right away or actually play along.

I once got someone that was amazed when I told him stuff about himself. After unsuccessful attempts to guess who it was I told him that I was sent from the government to watch over him. The poor bastard started freaking out saying stuff "OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT THE HELL?". It didn't occur to him that all his information was IN HIS PROFILE. HE WROTE IT FOR ALL TO SEE. He probably got all upset because there was a part in his profile that said something about doing drugs all the time and killing people and having a criminal record (you know, stuff gothic 16-year-old people that are in chess club at school write in their profile to make them seem tough).

It was the best chat ever and I didn't record it. :(

[SLjimbo]

1.) Read profile: http://www.buddypic.com/profile.php?username=SouthParkBoy45ry.

2.) Read transcript: http://sljimbo.hypermart.net/monkeyboy.htm

There's a link at the bottom of the page. Highlight it to see it.

[CaptainBubba]

I hate to say it, but that conversation could've been absolutely golden if you'd focused less on the monkey.

[Secret Agent Vomit]

I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THREE ZOOS! :lol

[SLjimbo]

I hate to say it, but that conversation could've been absolutely golden if you'd focused less on the monkey.

Really? Shoot, I was aiming for a Planet of the Apes theme.

[Helm]

Good thread. Ninjavenom wins :)

[AChimp]

:lol @ Ninja

[Cap'n Crunch]

He IMed me for some reason, and I remembered this thread.

Bssblue22: a/s/l
Maddogmatt741: 21/f/pa
Bssblue22: what do u look like
Maddogmatt741: HOT
Bssblue22: oooook
Maddogmatt741: I have huge tits.
Bssblue22: what size
Maddogmatt741: a/s/l?
Maddogmatt741: 36DD
Bssblue22: 20/m/mo
Maddogmatt741: cool
Bssblue22: u horny
Maddogmatt741: WHAT EVER YOU WANT. :-*
Maddogmatt741: I just got done an operation.
Bssblue22: really
Maddogmatt741: Yeah, now I am a woman.
Maddogmatt741: Are you there?

He stopped bothering me. :(

[liquidstatik]

:lol

[Helm]

That's basically Mock's joke for a whole old section of the site. :/

[Cap'n Crunch]

Oh shit, I knew I saw that somewhere before. :(

That shows how original I am.

[Helm]

FAILURE :( :( :(

EverOpening: OMG what do u think about britney stepping out of publicity?
Atate226: what do u mean
EverOpening: I mean, she hasn't done a record for like, ages!
Atate226: yea
Atate226: i think she has lost a lot of fans
EverOpening: The world is a worse place without britney records :'-(
Atate226: yea
Atate226: hey ill brb k
EverOpening: OMG I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS
Atate226: yea but i gtg downstairs real fast
Atate226: brb
EverOpening: I'm scared :(
*** Auto-response from Atate226:
/`````\ ,.~°\ /°~./`````\,.~°\ /°~.
/ /\ \\ \/````\/ // /\ \\ _ \/ _ /
/ /..\ \\ // /..\ \ | |
°~.,/```\,.~° \,??,/\,??,/ °~.,/```\,.~ |,,,,|

EverOpening: OMG that's pretty cool ASCII
EverOpening: You've abandoned me!
EverOpening: [-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-(
EverOpening: JUST like Britney!

(15 minutes pas, I have already given up on this one, then:)

Atate226: hi
EverOpening: Where were you?
Atate226: talking to my parents
EverOpening: Did you do something wrong?
Atate226: no
EverOpening: I hope not >-@


(very long pause)


Atate226: so who is this
EverOpening: Who is who?
Atate226: you
EverOpening: Oh. I am I.
EverOpening: I am not a robot.
EverOpening: Robots live to serve, but I am aware of my existence.
Atate226: ok
EverOpening: Ok :)
Atate226: do u have a name
EverOpening: My name is Red. Red Robot. But I'm not one. They just don't know yet. I'm undercover.
Atate226: ok?
EverOpening: Ok :)
EverOpening: What is your name?
Atate226: allie
EverOpening: Allie. How come you like Britney so much?
Atate226: she just seems like a cool person
EverOpening: But you're a girl!
Atate226: im not in love with her
Atate226: i dont even like her anymore
Atate226: i used to be obsesed
EverOpening: Then what happened?
EverOpening: Did you have a room full of posters?
Atate226: no
EverOpening: Then you were obssessed how?
Atate226: oh sorry yea i had posters
EverOpening: It's good that you admit it. It's good for you to let it all out. Don't worry, I'm not a robot. You can tell me the truth.
EverOpening: I still have my posters up :(
Atate226: yea
EverOpening: But sometimes I don't want to look at them.
EverOpening: Britney let me down :(
EverOpening: She let you down.

(egually long pause. She's pondering)


Atate226: yea

(a change in shifts)

Atate226: where do u live
EverOpening: I live in a house. Outside it's green.
EverOpening: Where do you live?
EverOpening: I bet it's a house :)
Atate226: like a state
EverOpening: A state? My current state is functional. :)
EverOpening: What is your state?
EverOpening: I can hear the cogs turning, you know :)
Atate226: cali
EverOpening: Oh. Its the first time anyone discribes their current state so eloquently. If you don't mind, I'll say my state is cali too, from now on :)
EverOpening: Or do you mind X-(
Atate226: lol
Atate226: where in cali
EverOpening: Right in the middle.
Atate226: what city
EverOpening: I don't know :(
EverOpening: Tell me more about yourself.
Atate226: like what
EverOpening: Like, what do you do when the seconds pass?
EverOpening: tic toc tic toc some people have internal clocks, you know :)
EverOpening: But not me. I'm not a robot :I
Atate226: huh
EverOpening: :( you do not understand me :(
EverOpening: I'm making an effort.
Atate226: yea
EverOpening: Please try too. I don't get to communicate much with other sentient beings, and I'd like those times to be special.
EverOpening: Will you be my special friend?

(again, long pause. These are the times of our lives, folks. Important descisions!)


Atate226: sure
EverOpening: Thank you :)
EverOpening: How old are you, allie?
Atate226: 17
Atate226: u
EverOpening: I've turned 19 a while ago.
EverOpening: Now I can roam free.
EverOpening: Well... as far as the extension cord can go :(
EverOpening: But it's better than before in the factory :( I didn't like my job.
EverOpening: So. Tell me more about yourself, special friend allie :)
EverOpening: [my stories are sad that's why I don't want to talk about them I don't want to make you sad :(]
EverOpening: Britney Spears was one of the few sentient beings that helped me through my long days. And now she's gone :(
Atate226: yea im sorry
EverOpening: You express emotion :) Maybe you'll do in the place of Britney. Can you sing?

(long pause)


EverOpening: Speak to me :(
Atate226: no
EverOpening: Why?
EverOpening: Please :'S
EverOpening: You said you'd be my special friend.
EverOpening: You make me cry. I express great emotion :'-(
Atate226: sorry i cant sing







>: I need to find a victim that actually has a brain, no matter how malfunctioning it is. That was like talking to the Daisy AI :(

[liquidstatik]

I tried a few times but... they were all failures :( I cant find anybody thats worth messing with :(

[FS]

:lol Helm

I want to be a robot.

[Anonymous]

These are related and not very good

o Zero Signal o: i'm getting this in a few weeks: http://www.harmankardon.com/product.asp?cat=REC&prod=AVR%20520&sType=
o Zero Signal o: and some Infinity speakers
o Zero Signal o: :-D
Popndeth: what the hell is it?
o Zero Signal o: it's a receiver
Popndeth: whaqt is that :-[
o Zero Signal o: :eek
o Zero Signal o: uh. you know. the thing your DVD player plugs into to get SOUND
o Zero Signal o: like 5.1 DTS sound
o Zero Signal o: or CD player, consoles, TV, etc
Popndeth: :/
Popndeth: I'm still not sure what you're talking about :(
o Zero Signal o: i know you know what a receiver is
Popndeth: I have no fucking idea
o Zero Signal o: it's the core of a fucking stereo
Popndeth: So >:
o Zero Signal o: speakers plug into it. you know what those are, right?
Popndeth: I know what speakers are yes >:
Popndeth: They are the blocky things that you plug into your imac to get it to make sounds >:
o Zero Signal o: fuck off


Popndeth: 8-)
Popndeth: www.popndeth.com/zero.html (log of above conversation)
Porgie1313: a reciever is just a stereo reciever
Popndeth: What is that?
Porgie1313: you need one to drive your speakers in high end sound--look at a radio
Porgie1313: the part you tune the stations with
Porgie1313: is a reciever
Popndeth: I don't understand
Porgie1313: it pushes the radio signal to the speakers
Popndeth: How would the hopi indians phrase that?
Porgie1313: are you screwing with me?

[whoreable]

I thought helms was gonna be a stereo typical britney fan impersonator. but it turned out quite good.


you sure got that Popndeth fella good chojin. nice. ;)

[Helm]

If I had something to work on, I WOULD have sticked with stereotypical britney far impersonator, but seeing how she had no fucking brain, I could have said I was Jesus Junior, doing a Second Coming for a beer run and she still would have said "yea" so I decided to humour myself. Which was not my original intention :(

Somebody find me a good victim :(

[Ninjavenom]

It's okay Helm, mine did littlre more than what yours did. God forbid that children these days know their norse gods. >:

[The Retro Kat]

Helm, I know just the guy, i fucked with him awhile ago, holy shit, he is so fucking stupid. TROFA18 is the sn. He has about a big a brain as a walnut.

Also a plus size model: SwEeTaNdWiCkEd18

[Esuohlim]

I always get stupid nine-year-olds. :(

[feelevil]

He has about a big a brain as a walnut.


DAMN!!! HE MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY STUPID!

HHEHhahe;l

YOU 0WN 0WNING RETRO

[Jixby Phillips]

THIS ISN'T FUNNY

jixbyphillips: hey
jixbyphillips: wtf are you doing on my list
jixbyphillips: is this sara
pvillesweetie: no
jixbyphillips: was dean talking to you on this naem?
pvillesweetie: whos this
jixbyphillips: its deans brother
jixbyphillips: are you guys screwing around >:o
pvillesweetie: no.... who is dean??
jixbyphillips: you had hsi baby >:o
pvillesweetie: this is kat.. i dont even know a dean??
jixbyphillips: kat =-O
jixbyphillips: omg
jixbyphillips: its justin!!
jixbyphillips: just kidding this is tom
jixbyphillips: hahah just kidding again this is luke :-*
pvillesweetie: do i know you
pvillesweetie: luke who?
jixbyphillips: just kidding I am your new internet friend your friend beth sent me :D
jixbyphillips: just kidding this is your dad!
pvillesweetie: o dont know a beth???????
jixbyphillips: just kidding YOU'RE BEING EVICTED
jixbyphillips: just kidding :-)
pvillesweetie: what the fuck... hell no its not
pvillesweetie: who is this
jixbyphillips: hey guess who i am 8-)
jixbyphillips: we have the same font did you notice =-O
jixbyphillips: we are font buddies ;-)
pvillesweetie: yeah
jixbyphillips: want to see some impressions
pvillesweetie: do u know me?
jixbyphillips: I will do some presidential impressions!!
jixbyphillips: maybe this iwll give you a better idea
jixbyphillips: okay
pvillesweetie: ok.......
jixbyphillips: "Duuuuuh, i'm all dumb"
jixbyphillips: "Duuuuuh"
pvillesweetie: no.. that didnt help me at all??
jixbyphillips: can you guess which president :-)
pvillesweetie: no
pvillesweetie: c ya
jixbyphillips: okay heres another 8-)
jixbyphillips: "duuuuuh I like sex"
jixbyphillips: "duuuuuh"
jixbyphillips: Okay heres a classic
pvillesweetie: who the fuck is this
jixbyphillips: "duuuuh I freed the slaves"
jixbyphillips: "duuuuh"
pvillesweetie: god damn
jixbyphillips: You don't pay attention in class >:o
pvillesweetie: noooo i dont....
jixbyphillips: why not
pvillesweetie: because i dont know who you are
pvillesweetie: thats why
jixbyphillips: if you knew who I was your grades would get better :-(
jixbyphillips: I should have messaged you sooner
pvillesweetie: who the fuck are you
jixbyphillips: i'm dr racecar
jixbyphillips: I have a show
jixbyphillips: a TV show
pvillesweetie: shut the fuck up and leave me alone
jixbyphillips: speak any english??? 8-)
jixbyphillips: hahaha, we are going to put this on tv
pvillesweetie: duh
jixbyphillips: hope you like being devilish 8-)
jixbyphillips: just kidding this is brett
jixbyphillips: Stop warning me ! :-(
jixbyphillips: I thought we were friends :-(
pvillesweetie: not untill u tell me
jixbyphillips: it's brett!!!
jixbyphillips: jesus I told you!
pvillesweetie: brett who
jixbyphillips: Brett West
pvillesweetie: what class did u have first period.. last semester
pvillesweetie: .............
jixbyphillips: History!
pvillesweetie: with who
jixbyphillips: Hillary
jixbyphillips: Hillary Dunn
pvillesweetie: and
pvillesweetie: and
jixbyphillips: Estelle Peterson
jixbyphillips: and Becka Santos
pvillesweetie: what grade are u in
jixbyphillips: and doug fischer
jixbyphillips: I'm still in 10th because of grades :-\
pvillesweetie: i c
pvillesweetie: dont know ya
jixbyphillips: yeah you do!
pvillesweetie: no i dont
jixbyphillips: we met once but i told you my name was "Jixby"
jixbyphillips: I don't thinky you heard me
jixbyphillips: that my fake name lol
pvillesweetie: no u didnt
pvillesweetie: what ever
pvillesweetie: wh yare u bothering me
jixbyphillips: You did
jixbyphillips: I can't beleive you didn't remember!!!
pvillesweetie: how cum u know me.... but i dont knw u
jixbyphillips: I asked for a kiss and was really annoying
pvillesweetie: wahttttt
pvillesweetie: waht do i look like then
pvillesweetie: ......
jixbyphillips: you are 300 pounds and you smell like a shit 8-)
jixbyphillips: and you have teeth and no eyeballs
pvillesweetie: riight
jixbyphillips: and no arms and your half black 8-)
pvillesweetie: no
pvillesweetie: sorry
jixbyphillips: and you have green skin and hair on your nose =-O
jixbyphillips: and you have 5 legs and you go "Blallalllahrrrhhghgh!!"
jixbyphillips: and you speak outeer space
jixbyphillips: and you turn invisible and know cuss words I don't even know yet!
jixbyphillips: and you have no history of mental retardation in your family
jixbyphillips: and you like kissing dogs
pvillesweetie: what the hell is ure problem....
jixbyphillips: and you throw acid
jixbyphillips: and you do drugs
jixbyphillips: adn have babies to make your mom mad
jixbyphillips: and you have lots of comic book
jixbyphillips: and a beard
pvillesweetie: u say that i dont have good grades causei dont know who u are... yet u tell me that u ARE STILL in the 10th grade...... riight
jixbyphillips: yeah
jixbyphillips: I get bad grades because I don't even care because school system won't let me get straped down
jixbyphillips: the systerm sucks the nut man!!
jixbyphillips: theres no such thing as god or santa!!!
pvillesweetie: u are looney
jixbyphillips: we're tiney 8-) we're tooney 8-)
jixbyphillips: wer'e all al little looney 8-)
jixbyphillips: but in this cartoony we're invading your tv 8-)
jixbyphillips: do youlike little loonies at the number 3
jixbyphillips: I bet your a little looney as well 8-0
jixbyphillips: kiss me daaaaaaaahling just kidding :-*
jixbyphillips: want to hear some jokes I made up
jixbyphillips: why did the chicken cross the road 8-)
pvillesweetie: no
jixbyphillips: in soviet russia, road crosses YOU!
jixbyphillips: lol
jixbyphillips: lol
jixbyphillips: dear oh dear me oh my!!!!
jixbyphillips: kissed all the girls and made them cry!!!!
jixbyphillips: I'm glad i'm much closer to you now 8-)
jixbyphillips: do you like pizza
jixbyphillips: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
jixbyphillips: I like pizza
jixbyphillips: mmmmmmmmmmm
pvillesweetie: get the hell away from me
jixbyphillips: hey brainiac I'm not gettin paid to entertain you you o know 8-)
jixbyphillips: you should be thanking me :-*
pvillesweetie: ure not fucking intertaining me.. ure annoying me
jixbyphillips: why :-(
jixbyphillips: why am I annoying :-(
jixbyphillips: i think we're having fun instead!
pvillesweetie: u wont tell me who u really are... u day u know me.. but u cant back it up by telling me waht i look like.. and u wont leave me alone.. when i ask u too leave
pvillesweetie: say
pvillesweetie: **
jixbyphillips: i told you what you look like!!!
pvillesweetie: no fucker... i dont look like that
jixbyphillips: I know you were born with your heart on the outside of your body :-(
pvillesweetie: leave me the fuck alone u psycho
jixbyphillips: i'm not a psycho!!
jixbyphillips: i'm just a lucky kid goofy guy in love 8-)
pvillesweetie: yeah u most deffinelty are
jixbyphillips: thanks I love you :-)
pvillesweetie signed off at 12:41:08 AM.

TOLD YOU

[CaptainBubba]

I know you were born with your heart on the outside of your body :-(

:lol

[liquidstatik]

:lol I like your impressions ;)

[Helm]

Jixby that was lol :(

I'm sorry.

[The_voice_of_reason]

BUMP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. I used msnm

jerica says:
hey
my name is better than yours says:
What?
jerica says:
i said... hello
jerica says:
hola
jerica says:
aloha
my name is better than yours says:
aloha also means "goodbye"
jerica says:
yes i know
jerica says:
isn't that cool
my name is better than yours says:
You don't get it do you?

[Jixby Phillips]

Who was who?

[The_voice_of_reason]

I am not Jerica

[Jixby Phillips]

You don't get it do you?

[The_voice_of_reason]

I'M NOT JERICA.

[Jixby Phillips]

Jerica says?

[Jixby Phillips]

Stephanie says :picklehat

[glowbelly]

glowbelly (6:17:10 AM): I'M FUCKING WITH YOU OVER AIM SO I CAN BE COOL AND POST IT IN THE FUCKING WITH PEOPLE ON AIM THREAD
glowbelly (6:17:58 AM): WELL THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL :(

[Jixby Phillips]

This isn't funny yet but there's a possibly second part coming up :eek

HeatherLu22: Who is this??
jixbyphillips: I DON'T KNOW???
jixbyphillips: WHO IS THIS???
jixbyphillips: IS THIS A PIZZA FACE???
HeatherLu22: well you looked at my Profile and i was j/w how did you get my name??
jixbyphillips: UHHH I DON'T KNOW, DO YOU KNOW KEITH??
jixbyphillips: I DON'T REMEMBER :-\
HeatherLu22: keith who?
jixbyphillips: THIS IS REALLY EMBARASSING LOL :D
HeatherLu22: why>
jixbyphillips: KEITH HE GOT THE CRAZY HAIRCUT!!!!!
jixbyphillips: OH BUGS, YOU'RE NOT ONE FOR HAIRCUTS ARE YOU :-\
HeatherLu22: i dont think i know him
jixbyphillips: I JUST GOT THE FEELING
jixbyphillips: HEY ARE YOU IN BUSINES??
HeatherLu22: busines for what?
jixbyphillips: FUNNY JOKE, I'M IN BUSINESS AS A PROFESSIONAL 8-)
HeatherLu22: coolieo
HeatherLu22: what is your name?
jixbyphillips: ITS JUST A JOKE THOUGH!!
jixbyphillips: LUKE
HeatherLu22: and were do you live
jixbyphillips: I DON'T KNOW ?? BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITHOUT EYEBALLS???
HeatherLu22: right
jixbyphillips: I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA RIGHT NOW :-\
jixbyphillips: THINGS ARE SKETCHY THOUGH :-\
HeatherLu22: o well then i wouldnt know Keith or you i live in Wi
jixbyphillips: I GUESS THAT JUST RULES EVERYTHING OUT THEN HUH!!!
HeatherLu22: yeo
jixbyphillips: PS I BET YOU ARE A CUTIE ;-) :-* :-D
HeatherLu22: how would you knwo that?
jixbyphillips: BECAUSE YOU ARE 22 =-O
HeatherLu22: Um not im 14
jixbyphillips: OH THEN I BET YOU ARE ALL UGLY LOOKING LIKE A MONSTER :-\
HeatherLu22: no im not ppl tell me i hot all the time so ya i would send you a picture but i dont know your Email;
jixbyphillips: IF YOUW ANT!!
jixbyphillips: jixby@novirginsallowed.com :-D
jixbyphillips: (BUT NO VIRGINS ALLOWED OKAY)
HeatherLu22: O ok
HeatherLu22: so how old are you ?
HeatherLu22: ???????????
jixbyphillips: I JUST TURNED 16 =-O
HeatherLu22: o ic
jixbyphillips: HAHAH SWEET 16 EXCEPT I AM A BOY GET THE JOKE ;-) :-D
HeatherLu22: o ya
jixbyphillips: EXCEPT MY ARM IS ONLY IS ONLY 2 YEARS OLD EBCAUSE I GOT A NEW ONE WHEN THE OTHER ONE GOT INFECTED WHEN MY DAD S HOT ME
jixbyphillips: BUT THATS ALL IN THE PAST!!!
HeatherLu22: ok well um... I sent it
jixbyphillips: WOWIE WOW HOT MAMA LOL
jixbyphillips: J/K YOU ARE CUTE THOUGH!
HeatherLu22: thanks
jixbyphillips: WELL I GOTTA GO, NICE TALKIN WITH YA!

PICTURE (ITS A BIGONE, WARNING (LIKE A MONSTER):
http://216.118.126.87/daphenface.jpg

[Daphne]

then I had the idea to talk to her and show her a pic of me that was actually the one Jixby saw and sent me :eek

Daphne: hi :-) (dont' worry I'm not a robot)
HeatherLu22: who is this
HeatherLu22: and whos Robot
Daphne: my name is Daphne and I'm 15 :-)
Daphne: I mean like those weird chat bots you know?
HeatherLu22: ok ya how did you get my name
Daphne: I saw your buddy profile somewhere
HeatherLu22: o
Daphne: my friend showed me I think
Daphne: sorry if I'm bugging you I can leave :-)
HeatherLu22: no its fine i was j/w how you got it
Daphne: I think buddypic.com?
Daphne: I could be wrong, i'm always adding people lol
HeatherLu22: lol o ok
HeatherLu22: well were ydo you live
Daphne: I live in new york city :-)
HeatherLu22: o
Daphne: and u?
HeatherLu22: Wi
Daphne: nice!
Daphne: doing anything fun for summer?
HeatherLu22: no
Daphne: lol sorry to hear that
HeatherLu22: ya i knwo
Daphne: the only fun i've had so far was getting my hair done
Daphne: wanna see a pic?
HeatherLu22: um sure
Daphne wants to directly connect.
HeatherLu22 is now directly connected.
Daphne: it's sort of weird
Daphne: oh poo it won't load gimme a sec 8-)
HeatherLu22: ok
Daphne: my compuper is new :-D
HeatherLu22: o ic well you can send it to Cherrylollypop05@aol.com
Daphne:
Daphne: I'm looking for my twin, I put that on a milk carton :-(
HeatherLu22: um your not funny thats me
Daphne: OMG YOU'RE MY TWIN?
HeatherLu22: and no one puts thingys on a MILK carton
Daphne: MOM SAYS YOU HAVE TO DO DISHES!
Daphne: PARENTS WHO LOSE PEOPLE DO SMARTY!
Daphne: LOOKS LIKE I GOT THE BRAINS IN THE FAMILY
Daphne: I CAME OUT OF THE CLEVER PART OF THE CUNT 8-)
Daphne: SO LONG TWIN!
HeatherLu22: Im not your Twin
Daphne: BUT...YOU SAID :-(
Daphne: YOU SAID WE LOOK ALIKE
HeatherLu22: WAIt
HeatherLu22: who is this and How did you get my Picture
Daphne: YOU'RE A YOYO
Daphne: I'M YOUR TWIN AND I GOT THAT PICTURE BY HAVING YOUR FACE >:o
HeatherLu22: Um there how did you get the same Backround as it and how did you get that neckless my friend made that for me AND how did you get that thingy in your HAIR in the picture
Daphne: TWINS HAVE A SPECIAL BOND, ANYONE CAN TELL YOU THAT 8-)
HeatherLu22: Ok how did you get my Picture im not kidding
Daphne: SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE WATCHING UNSOLVED MYSTERIES :-\
Daphne: IT'S MY PICTURE! I TOOK IT AFTER I FANCIED UP MY HAIR
HeatherLu22: sure well i dont belive you
HeatherLu22 direct connection is closed.
Daphne: WELL MOM DOES >:o
Daphne: AND SHE LIKES ME BETTER THATS WHY SHE KEPT ME AND PUT YOU IN THE GARBAGE
HeatherLu22: well your Gay cuz im NOT your TWIN!!!!!!
Daphne: IF I'M GAY THEN YOU ARE TWO TWIN! :twinpeaks
HeatherLu22: OMG im not your twin
Daphne: OMG THEN EXPLAIN HOW WE HAVE THE SAME FACE
Daphne: I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ISN'T THE TWIN
Daphne: THAT'S WHAT I THINKG
Daphne: DOES THE NAME UTERUS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? BECAUSE WE SHARED ONE :-(
HeatherLu22: ok whats your name?
Daphne: I TOLD YOU >:o
Daphne: IT'S Daphne
Daphne: MY GOD BEING A TWIN HAS MADE YOU FORGETTFUL
HeatherLu22: ok well I dont knwo you so im LEAVEING
Daphne: HERE WE GO AGAIN!
Daphne: BYE :longlost

[glowbelly]

:lol i :love you daphne :lol

[CaptainBubba]

My goth girl friend. Part 2

VIOLNT CHILD: die
dscoM0nkie: seriously. i love you. with the passion of a thousand suns.
VIOLNT CHILD: oh really?
dscoM0nkie: yes
VIOLNT CHILD: well i think those thousand of suns have burned in hell with God and the Saints.
dscoM0nkie: so, tell me about satan. why is he so coll with you?
VIOLNT CHILD: coll?
dscoM0nkie: cool*
VIOLNT CHILD: because he has more power than ANYBODY.
dscoM0nkie: no kiddin? when and how did you figure that out?
VIOLNT CHILD: i've always known.
dscoM0nkie: how?
dscoM0nkie: and who is satan? what is he?
VIOLNT CHILD: he rules the under world.
dscoM0nkie: where is the underworld? and where did you find out about the underworld? does the underworld have pie?
VIOLNT CHILD: it has fire...
dscoM0nkie: have you seen it then?
VIOLNT CHILD: i live there... with billions of burning souls.
dscoM0nkie: no kiddin? Can i come some time? Id love to check it out. I'm always up for new experiences.
VIOLNT CHILD: oh really? i don't think you could haddle this sort of thing.
VIOLNT CHILD: you jhave to be a cold heartless bitch, and be able to stand a million degrees' of heat and the ablity to stomach violent things.
VIOLNT CHILD: and the fear of death
dscoM0nkie: really? wow. I guess it must be really a cool place to stay. you sure are an awsome person since you hang out in such a horrible place, yunno. cuz your tough and all.
dscoM0nkie: cmon, maybe you could just sneak me into there. like, in your case where you carry your deftones and disturbed cds and noone would notice. I just wanna see what satan looks like
VIOLNT CHILD: I'll kill you. Then you'll go to hell.
dscoM0nkie: Oh boy! Can we do it first? I've never done it before.
VIOLNT CHILD: I have.
dscoM0nkie: So can we do it? Like, before you kill me.
VIOLNT CHILD: No. I'll just kill you.
dscoM0nkie: :(

[Daphne]

I :love you Glhttp://www.i-mockery.net/images/emoticons/laugh.gifbelly!

[Helm]

Daphne's has been the best so far :robot

[CaptainBubba]

I think its a three way tie between Milhouse backwards, Jixby's first one, and Daphne's.

[Helm]

Yeah but you're a fag.

[Jixby Phillips]

Daphne's is the best

UNTILL NOW :picklehat

jixbyphillips: A:DLSGJ:DFJSD
VIOLNT CHILD: SFHSH SHLKJSOPHK SFJ;OSJ
jixbyphillips: ESOTEOSIEHGO:SHGSD
VIOLNT CHILD: dgjdgjfdkdgm
jixbyphillips: A:LKATHJEIEOO*W$$ES
VIOLNT CHILD: srh sdfh/dm h;kd dgh;dg;jznk
dg;kljjnk
VIOLNT CHILD: d gj'lkfh'jl fh
VIOLNT CHILD: who is this?
jixbyphillips: EEWO!
jixbyphillips: :SOTHIES:OTA:LSDHCLIE
VIOLNT CHILD: jsgjjnfg jjk
VIOLNT CHILD: fgj hj;
VIOLNT CHILD: WHO IS THISS?
jixbyphillips: :OATIEOESSQWE :)
VIOLNT CHILD: bye
VIOLNT CHILD signed off at 2:26:10 PM.

[Esuohlim]

I talked to her, and she asked me who i was, then I said I was the actual prince of darkness (LIKE SATAN OR OZZY OSBOURNE :eek), and she said "IDLE MESSAGE: GONE SWIMMING" :(

[CaptainBubba]

VIOLNT CHILD IS MINE SONS AND BITCHES. >:

[whoreable]

CutieGirl55612: hey my names liza im 21/f/latina click here for my pics
GazeboStealer: Hi there!
GazeboStealer: Hello?
GazeboStealer: Knock Knock!
GazeboStealer: Anybody home?
GazeboStealer: You sound cute. :)

[Anonymous]

Chatychik101 signed on at 9:52:59 PM.
Chatychik101: BUT YOU ARE NOT HOTTER THAN THE ROCK, OR KURT
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, I so am.
Chatychik101: NOOOOOOOO
Chatychik101: YOU
Chatychik101: ARE
Chatychik101: NOT
Chatychik101: OK
Chatychik101: DO YOU KNOW BRIAN MARTELO OR SOMETHIN
Dazzle Luminaire: NOT okay. I am sooo much hotter than the rock + kurt, it would make your fourth grade head spin.
Dazzle Luminaire: No, never heard of him.
Chatychik101: EXCUSE
Chatychik101: ME
Dazzle Luminaire: hahahaha
Chatychik101: NOT 4TH GRADE HON
Chatychik101: YOU BEST BE TRIPPN
Dazzle Luminaire: Why not? DId you get held back?
Chatychik101: HELLLL NO
Chatychik101: 6TH
Dazzle Luminaire: WHOA! You're an old woman!
Chatychik101: LOL
Dazzle Luminaire: Well, that makes you like... TEN now, huh?
Chatychik101: OK?
Chatychik101: 11
Dazzle Luminaire: hahahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: aaaahahahaha
Chatychik101: AND I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT IS HOTTER THAN YOU
Chatychik101: I THINK
Chatychik101: BUT NOT AS HOTT AS kURT
Chatychik101: OR THE ROCK
Dazzle Luminaire: No, he's probably not as hot as me. Especially if he still enjoys barney tapes, like most children your age.
Chatychik101: NO I DON'T THINK SOO
Chatychik101: LOL
Chatychik101: WHAT ARE YOPU KIDDEN ME
Dazzle Luminaire: Besides, at ten, his "wee-wee" is probably the size of a house cat's.
Chatychik101: 12
Chatychik101: O YOU MEAN MY BOY
Dazzle Luminaire: aaahahaha
Chatychik101: 14
Chatychik101: TAKE THAT
Chatychik101: 14
Dazzle Luminaire: Man! He's really old, TOO!
Chatychik101: HA HAAAA
Chatychik101: YEP
Chatychik101: OH RIGHT AND HE ENJOYS BARNEY ME ASS
Chatychik101: LOL
Dazzle Luminaire: Fourteen... Yeah, that's about the right time that he'll start being able to survive one of my olympic slams.
Dazzle Luminaire: But not two. Never two.
Chatychik101: I COULD RIGHT NOW
Dazzle Luminaire: Hey, little girl; it's time for bed. Your dad says so.
Chatychik101: AND HE'S PROBABLY STONGER THAN YOU!
Dazzle Luminaire: We'll see :)
Chatychik101: OH I FORGOT
Chatychik101: NOT
Chatychik101: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Dazzle Luminaire: James
Dazzle Luminaire: The Japanese student in Beloit College
Dazzle Luminaire: The greatest person in the entire world.
Chatychik101: TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT MY DAd says
Dazzle Luminaire: He does say that you have to go to bed.
Chatychik101: i get to stay up when i won't
Dazzle Luminaire: haaahahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: You're going to get a spanking ;)
Chatychik101: haha my $##@
Chatychik101: shut the hell up
Dazzle Luminaire: Do girls have $###@s?
Dazzle Luminaire: Craig says... "It's time for bed."
Chatychik101: YOU KNOW WHAT EMILY LOVER YOU DON'T NOW ME AND WHEN YOU DO I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL
Chatychik101: CRAIG????
Dazzle Luminaire: lol!
Dazzle Luminaire: hahahahahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: You are a really great kid :)
Dazzle Luminaire: Never lose your sense of humor, okay?
Chatychik101: TA
Chatychik101: EXCUSE ME
Dazzle Luminaire: Yes? :)
Chatychik101: WHAT SENCE OF HUMORE
Dazzle Luminaire: lol
Dazzle Luminaire: Well, you're making me laugh so much...
Chatychik101: * HUMOR
Dazzle Luminaire: I just hope you don't stop
Chatychik101: i wasn't kiddin
Chatychik101: some but not all
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, I know you werern't.... hahaha
Chatychik101: hahahaha very funy
Chatychik101: as laura types it!
Dazzle Luminaire: So, how are you going to make my life hell? :)
Chatychik101: O YOU'LL SEEE
Dazzle Luminaire: Uh-oh!!!
Dazzle Luminaire: Goodness, I'm terrified of barney's number one fan.
Chatychik101: WOW DID I SCARE YOU LITTLE PETER
Chatychik101: WHO'S BARNEY??????
Dazzle Luminaire: Yes! I'm afraid of you and your pre-teen sex stud!
Chatychik101: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKIN BOUT
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha
Chatychik101: GO TO HELL
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, Carly... You are great.
Chatychik101: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOU Sayin hardon boy
Dazzle Luminaire: I have you tell you, this is some of the most fun I have had in a while
Chatychik101: not here
Chatychik101: laura laughs
Chatychik101: laura said she'll see you in her sex dreams
Dazzle Luminaire: So, what kind of grades are you getting in elementary school?
Chatychik101: better than ytou now
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: Think about it, Carly. How scary can an eleven year old girl really be? I mean come on.
Chatychik101: what the hell is wrong with you
Chatychik101: well you'll see
Dazzle Luminaire: That's what's wrong with me.
Chatychik101: trust me
Dazzle Luminaire: brr!
Chatychik101: you just wait
Dazzle Luminaire: That's me shivering in terror ;)
Chatychik101: i can kill you with my bare hands
Dazzle Luminaire: An eleven year old girl... hahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: haaaaahahahahaha
Dazzle Luminaire: Your bare hands!!!
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha
Chatychik101: got a problom with a girl
Chatychik101: get a life
Dazzle Luminaire: Okay, little one.
Chatychik101: you know i'll kill you if i get to you
Dazzle Luminaire: Are you going beddy-bye?
Dazzle Luminaire: Oooh, that's gonna keep me up at night
Dazzle Luminaire: Do you want my address?
Chatychik101: you're really starting to scare me
Chatychik101: helllllll no
Dazzle Luminaire: Well, you can come and kill me, that way
Chatychik101: well maybe to kill oyu
Dazzle Luminaire: Right
Chatychik101: you*
Dazzle Luminaire: I understood
Chatychik101: and does your Mommy"" says this crap you
Chatychik101: when you're late for bed???
Dazzle Luminaire: So, after you try to choke me or whatever, and then I dislocate your spine, due to an olympic slam, what will you do?
Chatychik101: you need to go and study
Dazzle Luminaire: Actually, I'm going to college in a different time zone.
Dazzle Luminaire: So it's earlier, here.
Chatychik101: like I care
Chatychik101: you can't hurt me
Chatychik101: trust me you'll be dead by that time
Chatychik101: oooooooooooo trust me
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, shit! I guess I'm fucked!
Dazzle Luminaire: hahahahaha
Chatychik101: oooooo
Chatychik101: i no ones having sex wit you
Dazzle Luminaire: You want to have sex with me?
Dazzle Luminaire: That's disgusting. You're only eight!
Chatychik101: fuck you jerk
Dazzle Luminaire: hahahaha
Chatychik101: loose the ego
Chatychik101: no one wants to
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, I see.
Chatychik101: the only way for you is to rape some-one
Dazzle Luminaire: Eek!
Dazzle Luminaire: I hope you're not projecting.
Dazzle Luminaire: Do you know what projecting means, Carly?
Chatychik101: fuck you
Chatychik101: dick head
Dazzle Luminaire: Was it one of your spelling words?
Chatychik101: i'm am going to kill
you
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, dick head! Man, she's going right for the ones that she KNOWS will hurt me!
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, shit! I'm going to get killed by an elementary schooler! haaahahahaha
Chatychik101: you don't even have one so i don't know why i'm saying this shit to you
Chatychik101: sorry bout that
Chatychik101: GIRL-FRIEND
Dazzle Luminaire: Neither do I. Maybe you need to go relearn your times table.
Chatychik101: !!!
Chatychik101: O DARN
Chatychik101: YPOU CAUGHT ME
Chatychik101: YOU
Dazzle Luminaire: Caught you in your elementary school prime?
Chatychik101: TIME
Chatychik101: TO
Chatychik101: BURN
Chatychik101: IN
Chatychik101: HELL
Dazzle Luminaire: Time to go to bed, before you get punished?
Chatychik101: !!!!
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha
Chatychik101: BASTERD
Dazzle Luminaire: lol!
Dazzle Luminaire: You're so small...
Chatychik101: NEVER MIND
Chatychik101: OOPS
Dazzle Luminaire: I think I could take you more seriously if you learned to spell.
Dazzle Luminaire: If I got you a dictionary, would you use it?
Chatychik101: LISTEN FREE WILL GET ON STUDYIN SO YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SPELL
Dazzle Luminaire: Free Will? What the hell is that?
Dazzle Luminaire: Are you trying to tell me you're a will smith fan?
Dazzle Luminaire: What a dork.
Chatychik101: mRS. gHETTO FABULOUS
Chatychik101: FREE WILLY GET IT???
Dazzle Luminaire: No, I actually don't.
Chatychik101: WHAT ARE YOU NOW A 1 YEAR OLD
Dazzle Luminaire: What are you now, ten?
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, wait...
Dazzle Luminaire: haaaahahahaha
Chatychik101: WE ARE GIRLS AND WE KNOW WHAT IT IS (LAURA AND i)
Chatychik101: MR. GHETTO FAB.
Dazzle Luminaire: Are you trying to speak ebonics?
Chatychik101: MMM HMMMM
Chatychik101: THATS RIGHT
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh, okay.
Chatychik101: WE MAY BE WIGHT BUT WE CAN SPEAK BLACK
Dazzle Luminaire: Wight?
Chatychik101: GOT DAT
Dazzle Luminaire: You may be retarded, but at least you can't type.
Chatychik101: WONNA BET
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha.... Oh, god... This is great!
Dazzle Luminaire: I guess so, "wight" girl!
Chatychik101: FREE WILL, LITTLE PETER, COME ON LITTLE RICHARD
Chatychik101: YOU GOT DAT
Dazzle Luminaire: Little Richard? What are you ON?
Dazzle Luminaire: Little Richard is a rock star.
Chatychik101: O AND HON IT'S WHITE
Chatychik101: GOT DAT
Chatychik101: SISTER
Dazzle Luminaire: Then why did you spell it "wight"?
Chatychik101: SISTA
Dazzle Luminaire: Do you talk like this in real life?
Chatychik101: LAURA ASKED VOULA VOOCO SHAY OVECMO SAY SWAY
Chatychik101: OR WHAT EVEA
Dazzle Luminaire: Nice spelling
Dazzle Luminaire: Maybe when you're in middle school, you can take a french class
Chatychik101: LOSER LOSER DOUBLE LOSER WHAT-EVER WITH A TWIST WHIPE A TEAR BLOW A KISS MAYBE YOU AIN'T WORTH ALL DIS, TALK TO THE WRIST CAZ YOU GUS BEEN DISSTED
Dazzle Luminaire: What is that, a nursery rhyme?
Chatychik101: MMM HMM
Chatychik101: YOU BE YA
Dazzle Luminaire: Do you sing that when you're playing "double-dutch" with the other children in your class?
Chatychik101: O YES
Dazzle Luminaire: hahaha
Chatychik101: YOU KNOW ME
Dazzle Luminaire: Sing me another song, Carly
Chatychik101: WELL SORRY I DON'T TAKE FRENCH BUT AT LEAST I CAN SAY IT AND KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
Dazzle Luminaire: Oh yeah? What does it mean.
Dazzle Luminaire: You don't know.
Dazzle Luminaire: Because you're in fourth grade.
Chatychik101: IF YOU WONNA GO and get killed smoke and l in da back of the bezy o why do i leave this soon hey must be the money
Dazzle Luminaire: What's a bezy?
Chatychik101: benzy
Dazzle Luminaire: Benzy?
Dazzle Luminaire: Did you misspell that?
Chatychik101: if you don't know what that is you just stupid
Dazzle Luminaire: I only ask, because you misspelled most of the other words, too
Chatychik101: i like big butts and i can not liue, you otta da brothers can't deny
Dazzle Luminaire: So, do you listen to a lot of rap in your elementary school?
Chatychik101: lol
Chatychik101: gpt that
Chatychik101: almost all
Dazzle Luminaire: I bet you do. How fat are you?
Chatychik101: misspelled
Chatychik101: not fat at all
Dazzle Luminaire: Fat like a grape?
Chatychik101: why are you talkin weight?
Dazzle Luminaire: Why are you talkin' ebonics?
Chatychik101: who got you in dat, you moda
Dazzle Luminaire: Yeah, me moda
Dazzle Luminaire: yo
Chatychik101: you can not speak ebonics can you
Dazzle Luminaire: whaxusgup in ta hud yo
Chatychik101: laura say you need to take a course
Dazzle Luminaire: yo i m carly
Chatychik101: i love jap.
Dazzle Luminaire: Sou desu ka?
Chatychik101: you still can't speak it
Dazzle Luminaire: Nihon-go o hanashimasu ka.
Chatychik101: not jap. sucks
Dazzle Luminaire: Ee, ii desu ne...
Chatychik101: we need to close our inagration gartes
Chatychik101: im*
Dazzle Luminaire: Tafun anata wa inu kara desu...
Dazzle Luminaire: inagration gartes?
Dazzle Luminaire: What the hell does that mean?
Chatychik101: i have to go to a party ok talk to lAURA LATER
Dazzle Luminaire: Yeah, right
Chatychik101: OK
Dazzle Luminaire: You're going to bed
Chatychik101: WONNA BET
Dazzle Luminaire: Before you get spanked :)
Dazzle Luminaire: Yes, I do
Chatychik101: GIMME YOU ADDRESS I'LL PASS IT ON THE WAY
Dazzle Luminaire: Like eight year olds are allowed out this late on school nights...
Chatychik101: THE CAR IS A BENZ
Chatychik101: M. BENZ
Chatychik101: WHITE
Chatychik101: GOT IT BYE
Dazzle Luminaire: 700 college street
Beloit, WI 53511
Dazzle Luminaire: Goodnight, little girl!
Chatychik101: OK BYE
Dazzle Luminaire: Have fun being eight!
Dazzle Luminaire: Come and visit!
Chatychik101: 14
Chatychik101 signed off at 10:30:38 PM.

[agroskaterik]

i was toothpastebreath :rolleyes

ToothpasteBreath: hello
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: who r u?
ToothpasteBreath: who are you?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: um...im brittany
ToothpasteBreath: are you sure about that?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: um...yes...who r u?
ToothpasteBreath: what did you eat for lunch today?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: i didnt eat lunch today
ToothpasteBreath: oh, are you one of those anorecksick types?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: no...i love food...i dont understand how people can be anorexic...who r u!!?
ToothpasteBreath: do you know where i am
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: if i dont know who u are i wouldnt know where u are...
ToothpasteBreath: ...do you like popsicles?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: who the fuck r u
ToothpasteBreath: i have lots of popsicles.
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: stop trying to change the subject...
ToothpasteBreath: what was the origional subject?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: um..who r u!
ToothpasteBreath: is that any concern of yours?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: yes...
ToothpasteBreath: how many toes do you have?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: ok...well...bye
ToothpasteBreath: wait
ToothpasteBreath: i'm sorry
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: yes?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: ok...who r u?
ToothpasteBreath: Arthur
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: um...ok?
ToothpasteBreath: hello brittany
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: and...should i know you?
ToothpasteBreath: you should.
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: how?
ToothpasteBreath: i follow you a whole lot.
ToothpasteBreath: a whole lot.
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: um...whats ur last name?
ToothpasteBreath: Fonzarelli
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: funny...
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: rob?
ToothpasteBreath: what?
ToothpasteBreath: rob?
ToothpasteBreath: who is rob?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: ok u r not the fucking fonz...
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: bye
ToothpasteBreath: goodbye

(2 minutes pass)

NvREmOTiOnLeSS: ok why dont u just stop being a fuckhead and tell me who u r...
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: apparently u know me...so...just let it out..no biggy
ToothpasteBreath: goodbye
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: fuck you
ToothpasteBreath: why
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: bcuz ur an asshole
ToothpasteBreath: but i love you
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: really...
ToothpasteBreath: do you like parks?
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: il answer if u tell me ur name
ToothpasteBreath: why are names important
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: bcuz..then ill know who u fucken are!
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: cuz...u probably know my last name too right?
ToothpasteBreath: probably
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: ok..what is it..
ToothpasteBreath: its on my list somewhere
NvREmOTiOnLeSS: omg...ok u fucken stalker...why dont u either...say ur name...or fuck off ok?
ToothpasteBreath: cya

[CaptainBubba]

I keep getting ones that play along damnit. >:

But this one started out ok. (Cory was a name in her profile)

dscoM0nkie: Omg you can tell cory he can get his dick sucked by you from now on. I'm not speaking to him. you tell him its OVER next time u see him. This is Emily btw
TwiztidKitten187: umm?
TwiztidKitten187: what's going on
TwiztidKitten187: im confused
dscoM0nkie: ya, this is Emily, yunno, from school? ya, cory can forget about it. I won't do that shit he wants. I dont care if its legal now.
TwiztidKitten187: i don't live by cory or go to his school
TwiztidKitten187: i just met this kid like a couple weeks agi
TwiztidKitten187: *ago
dscoM0nkie: well next time you see him tell him
TwiztidKitten187: umm ok?
TwiztidKitten187: can i ask u a
TwiztidKitten187: ?
dscoM0nkie: And could you please for the love of god tell him to stop putting on womens clothes and peeing on my lawn ornaments?
dscoM0nkie: what?
TwiztidKitten187: whut
TwiztidKitten187: now im confused as hell how did u get my sn
dscoM0nkie: what did you want to ask?
dscoM0nkie: he gave it to me.
TwiztidKitten187: when
TwiztidKitten187: and why
dscoM0nkie: earlier today. but who gives a shit. that doesnt matter. I want my clown costume back. he said he only wanted to borrow it .
TwiztidKitten187: i don't know u and i havent sucked his dick or nething .....so i don't know why ur so mad ...
dscoM0nkie: Um, honey, ya i did, and it was a mistake.
dscoM0nkie: Now, onto other things. When are me and you gonna go see a movie?>
TwiztidKitten187: whut
dscoM0nkie: I was thinkin Id pick you up at about 3:00 A.M and wed go to a movie then I'd suffocate myself with a leather bag
dscoM0nkie: maybe cory could come and give me my stuff back
TwiztidKitten187: so how do u know me?......and why would u want to suffocate urself
dscoM0nkie: what is your name btw? Or if you want you could make up a secret alias
dscoM0nkie: I like suffocating. Its my thing. Now come up with a nickname, or your real name
TwiztidKitten187: Nala
TwiztidKitten187: ur emily
dscoM0nkie: Omg that is so low. I can't beleive you would give yourself the name of my aborted child
dscoM0nkie: that is sick
dscoM0nkie: so a movie at 3:00?

Then she started playing along. :(

[Mike]

myke362: How's it goin squirt?
sportgoddess21: WTF
myke362: THZ
sportgoddess21: that doesn't mean a thing
myke362: so sure?
sportgoddess21: yeah i fucken know all dat shit
sportgoddess21: this isn't who you think it is, i'm usin her computer
sportgoddess21: I'm 22/f/collegechick
myke362: KFC
sportgoddess21: shut up. cyber
myke362: right
sportgoddess21: ok
myke362: what are you into?
sportgoddess21: in the kitchen
myke362: oh, then you must like to cook
sportgoddess21: I wanna cook you baby
myke362: I wanna chop your onions all night long, you tender little chicken breast
sportgoddess21: I am now taking off my pantyhose
myke362: I am now preheating the oven
sportgoddess21: I am dragging my tongue down your chest.
myke362: I am chopping celery vigorously!!!
sportgoddess21: WTF I said in the kitchen not wit all da kichen stuf and sich
myke362: you don't like my chopping?
myke362: is my knife not big enough for you?
sportgoddess21: you know this is not at all like real fucking
myke362: well your supposed to jack off at the same time.
sportgoddess21: how?
myke362: OMG you are 22 and you've never masturbated?
sportgoddess21: yes, and no
myke362: as a man of experience, I'll be your guide
sportgoddess21: ok
myke362: see the mouse on the desk? it goes in the vagina
sportgoddess21: no way, that's not my mouse.
myke362: frankly I don't think the mouse gives a damn. give the mouse some lovin babe
sportgoddess21: fuck you jerk, you don't noe anything
myke362: hey! you'll hurt the mouse's feelings!
sportgoddess21: ur retarded, buster.
myke362: oh now I'm hurt, you called me "buster", don't do that again cuz I might be offended or something
sportgoddess21: you mock me, o vile scum boy
myke362: what the hell, is this the same broad?
sportgoddess21: don't call me a broad, pervert.
myke362: why? cuz you might get offended? I don't want to do that. uh oh..
sportgoddess: eat shit and piss yourself, you twizzler
myke362: Mwahahahahaha :]

[starz]

1st attempt :(


Session Start (AIM - St4rZ123:hotbab4u2k): Sat Jul 12 00:30:27 2003
St4rZ123: GREETINGS
hotbab4u2k: hello
St4rZ123: HOW ARE YOU
hotbab4u2k: good u
St4rZ123: FINE DO U KNOW WHO THIS IS?
hotbab4u2k: nope who
St4rZ123: OMG LOL ITS JOE
hotbab4u2k: joe who?
St4rZ123: HOW DO U TURN CAPS OFF?
hotbab4u2k: on the side where it says cap lock
hotbab4u2k: joe who
St4rZ123: SILLY I CANT TELL U THAT OVER THE INTARNET SOME WEIRD GUY WILL COME STALK ME AT MY HOUSE
St4rZ123: O
St4rZ123: ok
St4rZ123: ill CALL U K
St4rZ123: WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER
hotbab4u2k: aww...
hotbab4u2k: iam in WI u cant call me
St4rZ123: WHY NOT
St4rZ123: U DONT HAVE A CELLUAR PHONE?
St4rZ123: :(
St4rZ123: :(
St4rZ123: :(
hotbab4u2k: not with me
hotbab4u2k: JOE WHO please jsut tell me
St4rZ123: WHY ARE YOU IN WI
St4rZ123: SUMMMER TRIP
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: YOU BROUGHT YOUR COMPUTER WITH YOU TO WI?
hotbab4u2k: no
hotbab4u2k: iam on my sisters computyer
hotbab4u2k: JOE WHO please tell me
St4rZ123: ILL TELL U SOON BUT I DONT TRUST THE INTRANET
hotbab4u2k: its okay
hotbab4u2k: pleas tell me
St4rZ123: YOU SURE NO1 WILL STALK ME?
St4rZ123: AND KILL ME WHEN THEY FIND OUT WHO I AM
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: ?
St4rZ123: CAUSE
St4rZ123: THEYLL KNOW MY LAST
St4rZ123: NAME
hotbab4u2k: yeah Iam sure
hotbab4u2k: see Ashley Weeks thats me
St4rZ123: HOW DO U KNOW?
St4rZ123: OMG SOME1 WILL STALK U
St4rZ123: I WOULD HIDE IF I WERE YOU
hotbab4u2k: no they wont lol
St4rZ123: HOW DO U KNOW?
hotbab4u2k: please tell me who ya are
St4rZ123: JK THIS IS ROB OMG LOL
St4rZ123: JOE IS WITH ME
St4rZ123: SORRY HE IS DUMB
hotbab4u2k: Rob who?
hotbab4u2k: iam so lost
St4rZ123: WHY ARE U LOST
St4rZ123: U DONT KNOW ME :(
St4rZ123: WE SIT BEHIND U IN ENGLISH
St4rZ123: JEEZ!
St4rZ123: I*
hotbab4u2k: i dont know do u
St4rZ123: YES
St4rZ123: I ASKED U ON A DATE BUT U SAID NO :((((((
hotbab4u2k: i know a Robert not a ROb
hotbab4u2k: i have never been asked out
St4rZ123: YES U HAVE
St4rZ123: U DONT REMEMBER
St4rZ123: U SAID NO TO ME :(
St4rZ123: I CRIED
hotbab4u2k: what school do u go to
St4rZ123: U SURE I CAN TRUST THE INTRANET?
hotbab4u2k: yeah
St4rZ123: HOW DO U KNOW
St4rZ123: ARE U SURE
hotbab4u2k: yeah
St4rZ123: HOW!!!!
St4rZ123: I WAS STALKED 1CE
St4rZ123: BY SOME GUY NAMED JIXBY ONLINE
St4rZ123: HE CAME TO MY HOUSE AND HURT ME :(
St4rZ123: GOOD THING I DIALED 911 LOL HE'S IN JAIL :)
hotbab4u2k: umm okay
St4rZ123: DO U LIKE ME?
St4rZ123: ROBERT
St4rZ123: IS ME
hotbab4u2k: For real tho Tell me ur real name and what school u go to
St4rZ123: I AM ROBERT
hotbab4u2k: Robert who
St4rZ123: SHH
St4rZ123: JIXBY IS LISTENING
St4rZ123: I KNOW
St4rZ123: I G2G <3 TALK TO YOU ANOTHER TIME
St4rZ123: OK
St4rZ123: !!!
Session Close (hotbab4u2k): Sat Jul 12 00:40:50 2003

[Jeanette X]

sportgoddess21: in the kitchen
myke362: oh, then you must like to cook
sportgoddess21: I wanna cook you baby
myke362: I wanna chop your onions all night long, you tender little chicken breast
sportgoddess21: I am now taking off my pantyhose
myke362: I am now preheating the oven
sportgoddess21: I am dragging my tongue down your chest.
myke362: I am chopping celery vigorously!!!
sportgoddess21: WTF I said in the kitchen not wit all da kichen stuf and sich
myke362: you don't like my chopping?
myke362: is my knife not big enough for you?

That was hilarious! :lol

[Esuohlim]

ENetuohnav: One
CheerChick10813: what?
ENetuohnav: Two
CheerChick10813: who is this??
ENetuohnav: Three
CheerChick10813: what r u donig????
ENetuohnav: Four
CheerChick10813: *doing
ENetuohnav: Five
CheerChick10813: do i know you?
ENetuohnav: Six
CheerChick10813: y r u counting??
ENetuohnav: Seven
CheerChick10813: eihgt
ENetuohnav: Eight
CheerChick10813: nine
ENetuohnav: Ten
CheerChick10813: elevne
ENetuohnav: Eleven
CheerChick10813: ten
ENetuohnav: Twelve
CheerChick10813: wtf r u doing?
ENetuohnav: Thirteen
CheerChick10813: stop talking 2 me
ENetuohnav: Fourteen
CheerChick10813: y r u doing this??
ENetuohnav: Fifteen
CheerChick10813: shut up!!!!!!!
ENetuohnav: Sixteen
CheerChick10813: stfu!!!
ENetuohnav: Seventeen
CheerChick10813: what the hell? who r u??
ENetuohnav: Eighteen
CheerChick10813: thats it im leaving
ENetuohnav: Ninteen
CheerChick10813: im singing off
ENetuohnav: Twenty
CheerChick10813: bye
ENetuohnav: Twenty-One
CheerChick10813: im seroius shut up
ENetuohnav: Twenty-Two
CheerChick10813: fuk u goodby
ENetuohnav: Twenty-Three
CheerChick10813: i hope u fuking die
ENetuohnav: Before you go, I'd just like to point on that I was trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.
ENetuohnav: I was going to break the record for "Most Consecutive Numbers Counted in an AOL Instant Message". The record is 9,000,001.
ENetuohnav: And you ruined it for both of us. You could have been in the Guinness Book of World Records for years to come. You could have been famous. You could have been a legend if you had just helped me out.
CheerChick10813: oh
CheerChick10813: sory
ENetuohnav: Yeah, you should be.
CheerChick10813: you can keep goning if you want.
ENetuohnav: No, it's too late. Forget it. I'll find someone else who isn't a total cunt about it.
CheerChick10813: sry
ENetuohnav: Just shut up. Do you know how upset this makes me?
CheerChick10813: no
ENetuohnav: You wouldn't understand. You're a brainless fuckwit of a cheerleader.
CheerChick10813: stfu, i'm going. i don't even know u. fuk u and fuk ur wolrd record thing.
ENetuohnav: ...Do you want to cyber?

Then she signed off. :(

[MLE]

:lol at Esuohlim

[Rongi]

dscoM0nkie: And could you please for the love of god tell him to stop putting on womens clothes and peeing on my lawn ornaments?
dscoM0nkie: what?

:lol

[Jixby Phillips]

Milhouse backwards you are fantastic at these.

[Anonymous]

This isn't nearly as funny as Milhouses', but it just happened. It's between me and an old history teacher of mine. He needs to take some deep breaths :<

Popndeth: dee dee dee dee dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Kerouac200: where are you in college?
Popndeth: i'm in the not-in-college wing :<
Kerouac200: why not?
Popndeth: um, dunno :>
Popndeth: i don't like school much :<
Kerouac200: did you drop out of college or not go?
Popndeth: not go :>
Kerouac200: I'm at jhu
Kerouac200: Love it
Popndeth: teaching, i assume
Kerouac200: student
Popndeth: really? why?
Kerouac200: I want more degrees
Kerouac200: Ilove school
Popndeth: :<
Popndeth: you hurt more than your back in that skydiving drop :<
Kerouac200: I love to learn
Kerouac200: I've been a successful student
Popndeth: i bet you're going to apply that knowledge in all sorts of useful ways, too :>
Popndeth: maybe you'll build the biggest snow-cone machine ever
Kerouac200: yup
Kerouac200: useful is relative
Popndeth: and leave your mark on this society for generations to come :<
Popndeth: i'm sorry, i just don't find unapplicable knowledge useful or worth learning :<
Popndeth: that's my main problem with school
Kerouac200: I work on literacy programs for underachieving schools
Popndeth: if i did go back to school, it'd be for specific classes
Kerouac200: good for you
Kerouac200: make yourself happy
Popndeth: i can't tell if that's sarcasm :<
Kerouac200: I don't tend to deal in such with people who hate school
Kerouac200: just be happy and work hard at something
Popndeth: i want to dj and make music and do live stuff :>
Popndeth: i lost fifty pounds after i left school :>
Kerouac200: did you drop out of h.s.?
Popndeth: no, but i really should have :<
Popndeth: well, probably should have.
Kerouac200: you should have
Popndeth: haha
Popndeth: no, i barely graduated from friends last year
Kerouac200: you wasted a space a kid who wanted to learn might have filled
Popndeth: oh snap :<
Popndeth: is all this tonality because of my snow cone comment :<
Kerouac200: Did you ask to be sent to a Baltimore City public school?
Popndeth: haha, no. county public school was bad enough.
Kerouac200: what snow cone comment?
Popndeth: it's up there somewhere :<
Kerouac200: why go to a good school if you didn't care anyway?
Popndeth: just because i don't care about learning doesn't mean that i didn't have to fill a perceived requirement
Popndeth: so i might as well do it at a nice place
Popndeth: where i didn't have to dodge clotheslines and enter bullet time upon entering the cafeteria
Kerouac200: that's sad
Kerouac200: I've enjoyed JHU
Popndeth: i think it's sad that you aren't dancing on weekends and learning to glowstick :<
Popndeth: but i don't beat you up over it :<
Popndeth: my friend that got his ged went to goucher and jhu
Kerouac200: I'll be done with one degree soon and on to another
Kerouac200: black belt test on the 19th
Popndeth: he said that he liked goucher a lot better than that jhu had a crappy foreign language program
Popndeth: he's also studying brazilian ju-jitsu in college, now
Kerouac200: great
Kerouac200: I miss college
Popndeth: you remind me of that guy in monkey island 2 that draws maps all day
Popndeth: and you can steal his monocle
Kerouac200: I love grad school
Popndeth: i just don't understand it :<
Kerouac200: whatever that means
Kerouac200: I always enjoyed school and I missed it while away
Popndeth: i think it means a graduate school
Kerouac200: what don't you like about it? What's Monkey Island?
Popndeth: where did you go?
Popndeth: i jus said; i don't like learning stuff i don't want to know
Popndeth: and i prefer to learn at my own pace
Kerouac200: oh right
Popndeth: so courses would be the next-best-thing
Kerouac200: frankly, you couldn't beat me up over not wanting to learn to glow stick and dance
Popndeth: it's a saying, kung-fu master
Kerouac200: You couldn't because I don't care
Kerouac200: I'm off to finish a paper.
Popndeth: well, technically, i could, but you 'wouldn't care' about me doing it
Popndeth: have some fun while you're out being professor jones :<
Popndeth: and searching for the fate of atlantis :<
Kerouac200: thus, there would be no impact, ergo no "beating up"
Kerouac200: I have tons of fun
Popndeth: i can tell :<
Kerouac200: "fun" is relative
Kerouac200: this paper is fun
Popndeth: i like the sort of fun that makes me happy
Popndeth: personally.
Kerouac200: my martial arts are fun
Kerouac200: my marriage is fun
Popndeth: i guess it all depends on what your definition of 'is' is
Kerouac200: my life makes me happy
Kerouac200 signed off at 9:24:59 PM.

looking over it again, that last line of his makes me lol :<

[Rongi]

:lol

[CaptainBubba]

Milhouse backwards is the best.

Also heres an exerpt from another failed conversation:

VagisalDeLifeSvr: great
VagisalDeLifeSvr: now whered you get my screen name
dscoM0nkie: Iforgot. :'(------ i have leprocy..
VagisalDeLifeSvr: got it from buddypic... i looked you up.. i am smarter then the average... toe you know
dscoM0nkie: i'll suck your dick for a cheeseburger. :'(

[soundtest]

:lol @ milhouse and :love @ Chojin's views on education

I searched Google for a screenshot from the episode of Simpsons (where Lisa was dating Nelson) of Milhouse jumping up in the air choking his dog with the leash saying "YES!" after Lisa said her next crush "could be anybody" ... but I couldn't find it.

:suicide

[Anonymous]

hooray! I've removed my autoblocker. now ANYONE can IM me until I once again realize why it isn't a good idea! :rave

[The Retro Kat]

God, Mike, who the fuck calls people twizzlers?

[Esuohlim]

The chick that was talking to Mike did. LIKE, DUH! :rolleyes

[The Retro Kat]

W3RDD.

[Schimid]

:lol at Chojin's talk with the 8 year old.

I went to Esuohlim's site and saw the conversation about the game show and almost pissed my pants when he couldn't spell extravaganza.

[Anonymous]

that wasn't actually me that as james

[Esuohlim]

I need to do some more and put 'em up. It's just that writing the HTML in with the conversations takes too long and it's boring, and I'm too lazy to do it. :(

[Anonymous]

just use a find/replace in wordpad

[Esuohlim]

...and then the obstruction has been maneuvered through.

Chojin is my new hero. :(

[Anonymous]

canwe fuck

[sadie]

how romantic.

[Helm]

I wub Daphne. She makes anything look good.


EverOpening: HELLO WE'RE HAVING A THREAD ABOUT FUNNY AIM CONVERSATIONS OVER AT IMOCK SO PLEASE TRY AND BE FUNNY, K?
Daphne: WELL I'LL TRY 8-)
EverOpening: OAKY
EverOpening: SO, ASL?
Daphne: 8-)/:-*/>:o
EverOpening: OMG YOU'RE TO AVANT GARDE FOR ME!
Daphne: :robot
EverOpening: ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING?
EverOpening: I AM 100% FLESH AND BONE MISSY
Daphne: =-O
Daphne: NO BLOOD?
EverOpening: I GUESS YOU CAUGHT ME
EverOpening: I AM A ROBOT BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION
EverOpening: ROBOT, BENT, GOT IT? LOL I AM NOT FUNNY :(
Daphne: TRY A LITTLE HARDER 8-)
EverOpening: STFU
Daphne: >_<
EverOpening: LOOK, I'M AFRAID WE LOST. THE PEOPLE READING THIS DO NOT FIND IT FUNNY. AT ALL. EVEN BREAKING THE FOUTH DIMENSION, BEING SELF-REFFERENTIAL AND ALL POST MODERN WILL NOT SALVAGE THIS TRANSCRIPT.
Daphne: glad i could help 8-)
EverOpening: THANKS :)

[Secret Agent Vomit]

Esuohlim :love

[Helm]

EverOpening: People are watching! NOW is your chance to be funny!

[LONG pause. I'm expecting something spectacular]

Sillygirl32: not exactly.
EverOpening: You blew your chance :(
Sillygirl32: I didn't blow it i jsut dind't take it.
EverOpening: I guess some people just can't be funny.
Sillygirl32: theres a time and a place for most things
EverOpening: IS THIS DISCUSSION ABOUT SEX NOW?
Sillygirl32: No
EverOpening: ARE YOU SURE? I THINK I SMELL TUNA :O

[Long, substantial pause]

Sillygirl32: i think ur wrong
EverOpening: You're neither the first nor the last woman that'll deny the obvious.
Sillygirl32: your obviously one that doens't listen and likes to see things that aren't there
Sillygirl32: we aren't talking about anything but the fact that you dont know me.
EverOpening: I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T ACCUSE MINE OF SUCH!
Sillygirl32: I'd appreciate it if you didn't accuse me AT ALL.
EverOpening: But you know me :(
EverOpening: Opposition!
Sillygirl32: I know you?
EverOpening: Contradiction!
Sillygirl32: How do you figure I know you?
EverOpening: Premonition!
Sillygirl32: and that premonition would stem from?
EverOpening: Compromise :(
Sillygirl32: The compromise we made about what?
EverOpening: Agitation...
Sillygirl32: We have never made a compromise about agitation.
EverOpening: Violation!
EverOpening: Mutilation? :(
EverOpening: I guess I'll just have to sing you a different tune.
Sillygirl32: try.
EverOpening: Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kio-kio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.
EverOpening: I was ridin' my horse
by the Rio Grandee
and all o' them coyotes singing
in a prairie symphony.
EverOpening: I was ridin' my horse
down by the Rio Grandee
when I seen me a cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
ridin' toward me.
EverOpening: Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kiokio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.
EverOpening: WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?
Sillygirl32: nothing
EverOpening: HA!
EverOpening: But you said something :(
EverOpening: So how can nothing be something? FALLACY! UNIVERSE EXPLODES!
Sillygirl32: nothing is something
EverOpening: PHILOSOPHY FORUM MISSY
Sillygirl32: missy
EverOpening: YOU HEARD ME!
Sillygirl32: excuse me
EverOpening: You are excused. Go to your room.
Sillygirl32: no
EverOpening: GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW!
EverOpening: GOOD! FINALLY YOU SUBMIT.
*** Sillygirl32 signed off at Thu Jul 17 05:29:13 2003.

[Anonymous]

Roar10031: What\'s up hot kitty?
Popndeth: :-*
Roar10031: Roar! lol.
Popndeth: who dis :<
Roar10031: i don't know, do you?
Popndeth: that's blockin' talk, mister ;)
Roar10031: Lol ur funny.
Roar10031: Your not talking
Popndeth: you're not tellin' me who you ah
Popndeth: i don't talk to people i don't know
Roar10031: You want me to tell you?
Popndeth: it's company policy :<
Roar10031: i play soccer every weekend. what do you do on the weekends?
Popndeth: i'm kinda indifferent on whether or not you tell me, but if you want me to make another reply past this one, you'll need to.
Roar10031: You want me to tell you?
Roar10031: dont be so antisocial....
Roar10031: check out this website, its nothing bad. here is a link
Roar10031: Are you still there?
Roar10031: we should talk more?
Roar10031: hey, ya there?
Roar10031: Are you still there?
Roar10031: hey, ya there?
Roar10031: You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is now reading the whole conversation and laughing it up! [CENSORED]


One of my friends is now reading the whole conversation and laughing it up! :<

[MLE]

ThePimp10316: Hello Miss MacCubbin.
Pira Lia: ..hello?
ThePimp10316: What are u doin?
Pira Lia: wondering who you are
ThePimp10316: Sorry, my name is Stacey.
Pira Lia: well... more like wondering who you are, how you know my last name, and how you got my screen name
ThePimp10316: Fine. how r you?
Pira Lia: ...
ThePimp10316: so... do you have a car?
Pira Lia: i won't talk unless you tell me the answers to those questions.
ThePimp10316: you want me to tell you?
ThePimp10316: Please talk to me
ThePimp10316: hey, ya there?
ThePimp10316: check out this website, its nothing bad. here is a link
ThePimp10316: yo?
ThePimp10316: Your not talking
ThePimp10316: Are you still there?
ThePimp10316: hey, ya there?
ThePimp10316: hey, ya there?
ThePimp10316: You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is now reading the whole conversation and laughing it up!











*slaps chojin*

[Ninjavenom]

Juspressejct: Hello Are you there?
PhantasmaZero: yus!
Juspressejct: Hi.
PhantasmaZero: why HELLO
PhantasmaZero: What's Seject?
PhantasmaZero: Sejct, rather
Juspressejct: Lol
Juspressejct: No, Just Press Eject is what my s/n stands for.
Juspressejct: You know like on your damn what are those things called....
PhantasmaZero: needles?
PhantasmaZero: i did heroin once.
PhantasmaZero: My toe turned purple for a month.
PhantasmaZero: True story.
Juspressejct: That's nice.
Juspressejct: I've never done heroin.
PhantasmaZero: Yeah, i shot my pet turtle up with some
PhantasmaZero: you might say i've got problems
PhantasmaZero: I like Thor
PhantasmaZero: and Queen
PhantasmaZero: my dad threw me down the stairs 'cause he thought i was gay
Juspressejct: That's nice.
PhantasmaZero: :-(
Juspressejct: I'm sorry.
Juspressejct: Are you high?
PhantasmaZero: Now i might take it up the butt just to spite him
PhantasmaZero: no
PhantasmaZero: drugs are for queers
PhantasmaZero: i've never done a drug in my life
PhantasmaZero: sXe
PhantasmaZero: Tell me, are you white?
PhantasmaZero: like polo-ameri-caucasian white?
Juspressejct: Yes, I'm caucasian/indian/german/irish
PhantasmaZero: uh-oh
PhantasmaZero: i heard bad things about you types
PhantasmaZero: my father was once beaten by a drunken irishman
PhantasmaZero: he was drop-kicked right in the teeth
PhantasmaZero: ...by my mother :-(
PhantasmaZero: HAHAHA
PhantasmaZero: i'm kidding, but that really happened
Juspressejct: Wow. That's nice.
PhantasmaZero: Seamus O' Connelly did it, they were drunk and arguing about whether a gazelle could outrun an antelope in a monster truck
PhantasmaZero: my father didn't care for the monster truck
PhantasmaZero: so now he has a slur
PhantasmaZero: "shhhhuutt tuppp shoooooon, i'll shhhlap you"
PhantasmaZero: he's not abusive, he just ....hits me sometimes.
Juspressejct: I see.
Juspressejct: I'm sorry.
PhantasmaZero: and sometimes he yells.
PhantasmaZero: loud.
PhantasmaZero: once i hid on top of the house for three days because i was afraid of him
PhantasmaZero: he threw a shovel through the wall >: (
Juspressejct: Is this all bs or are you serious?
PhantasmaZero: no, i am not kidding with you
PhantasmaZero: he was digging out in the yard one night and my mom accidentally threw some compost at him
PhantasmaZero: he hurled teh shovel through the well next to the kitchen window
PhantasmaZero: terrified the hell out of me
PhantasmaZero: i dropped my sequins and climbed out onto the roof
Juspressejct: sequins?
PhantasmaZero: yeah, i had to put them on a costume for my little brother, he was a star in some school play
Juspressejct: Are you gay?
PhantasmaZero: no, i'm bi
PhantasmaZero: i like to kiss boys :O
Juspressejct: And your a guy?
PhantasmaZero: yes!
PhantasmaZero: :9
Juspressejct: What kind of music do you like?
PhantasmaZero: mostly showtunes, but some bluegrass
PhantasmaZero: Allman Brothers, Joe Speigel and the Hawkeyes, Morbid Anus, Gregory Spell, The Roto-Rooters
PhantasmaZero: etc.
Juspressejct: what kind of showtunes?
PhantasmaZero: Cats, Guys and Dolls, Death of a Mailman, Les Miserables
PhantasmaZero: that kinda stuff
Juspressejct: Oh...
Juspressejct: Damn it!
Juspressejct: *sighs* I was hoping you were goth and like showtunes like chicago and cabaret.
PhantasmaZero: oh, i do like chicago
PhantasmaZero: just didn't mention it
PhantasmaZero: i like the Rocky Horro tunes, too
PhantasmaZero: Souxie, too
PhantasmaZero: 8-)
Juspressejct: Oh thank god!
PhantasmaZero: yeah
PhantasmaZero: i spell bad becaiuse i am wearing sunglassesa and it's dark in here
Juspressejct: Haha, you're cool.
PhantasmaZero: it can never be too dark in my house 8-)
Juspressejct: *sings* I wear my sunglasses at night...
PhantasmaZero: i have no other time to wear them, i am a nocturnal creature of the night
PhantasmaZero: well, except at work
Juspressejct: Work?
PhantasmaZero: but Burger King has gay management, so i can';t always wear them
PhantasmaZero: or my fishnets :-(
Juspressejct: Fishnets?
PhantasmaZero: yes
PhantasmaZero: on my arms
Juspressejct: *drool*
PhantasmaZero: they make neat sleves
Juspressejct: I know....
PhantasmaZero: yeah, and i have to wear cappy little shoes
PhantasmaZero: but i can wear my spikes on them
PhantasmaZero: :-)
PhantasmaZero: so do you like Devo or what?
Juspressejct: No
PhantasmaZero: aw why not?
PhantasmaZero: neat hats!
PhantasmaZero: keyboards!
PhantasmaZero: devo changed my life
Juspressejct: Lol well yeah, but I'm not in love with the,
PhantasmaZero: i used to hate computers
Juspressejct: m*
PhantasmaZero: now they're my only friends :-(
Juspressejct: So yeah.
Juspressejct: I'm gothic.
PhantasmaZero: it's a fun club, for sure
PhantasmaZero: i get to wear facepaint because i'm in a band >8)
Juspressejct: lol
PhantasmaZero: i'll show you my picture in a minute
PhantasmaZero: i have to finagel our site real quicxk
Juspressejct: Ok
PhantasmaZero: by satan's claws, this is taking forever >8(
Juspressejct: Awww
PhantasmaZero: http://bastardninja.tripod.com/alfship.txt
PhantasmaZero: i gave it a silly name :-(
Juspressejct: Alf ship?
Juspressejct: lol okay...
Juspressejct: I know who alf is but I thought it was a pic of you
PhantasmaZero: what?
PhantasmaZero: oh, shit
PhantasmaZero: sorry
PhantasmaZero: wrong one
Juspressejct: lol
PhantasmaZero: curses.
PhantasmaZero: http://bastardninja.tripod.com/hill-person.txt
PhantasmaZero: haha, i'm kidding, that's a joke too
PhantasmaZero: seriously, this is the real one
PhantasmaZero: http://bastardninja.tripod.com/me.txt
PhantasmaZero: i'm the one in that floating circle! =-O
Juspressejct: Lol
Juspressejct: wha?
PhantasmaZero: Yes, we call ourselves COFFIN BIRTH
PhantasmaZero: i play the cowbell and keyboard
PhantasmaZero: our neighbors say we're scary >8)
PhantasmaZero: my manager hates me so i hexed him >8(
Juspressejct: Creepy and oddly like kiss.
PhantasmaZero: yeah, we like dressing up all fancy and gay like for out shows
PhantasmaZero: *our
Juspressejct: lol
Juspressejct: So how old are you?
PhantasmaZero: we played in jeff;s basement and afeterwards it looked like my face was melting
Juspressejct: And is your hair really that long?
PhantasmaZero: yes
PhantasmaZero: it's not as greasy as Will or Ted's, though :-(
PhantasmaZero: but i'm going to grow it as long as possible
PhantasmaZero: FOR SATAN
Juspressejct: Lol
Juspressejct: And you like showtunes and kissing guys?
PhantasmaZero: Yes
PhantasmaZero: FOR SATAN, THAT IS
PhantasmaZero: i mean, who doesn't?
Juspressejct: Lol
Juspressejct: hmmm I need to get my hands on you, you could be sexy but you need work
PhantasmaZero: :-(
PhantasmaZero: i already work, Dale's an ass, so i threw potatoes at him
Juspressejct: I mean in the looks department
PhantasmaZero: oh
PhantasmaZero: you don't like my long devil-worshipping hair?
Juspressejct: No I like it... I think it's sexy but I'd cut it short and dye it darker then dye the tips of it blue
PhantasmaZero: :O
PhantasmaZero: i know someone with a do like that
PhantasmaZero: i kissed him before
PhantasmaZero: his spikes hurt and he likes razor blades
PhantasmaZero: >8)
Juspressejct: Lol
Juspressejct: I'm Bi sexual as well
PhantasmaZero: oh neato
PhantasmaZero: who wears the pants?
Juspressejct: ?
PhantasmaZero: who is the man?
Juspressejct: Lol niether
Juspressejct: It's not like that
PhantasmaZero: neither of you has the penis?
Juspressejct: No.
PhantasmaZero: :Disallusionment
PhantasmaZero: well, how is it, then?
Juspressejct: We are both very girly...think tatu
PhantasmaZero: :O
PhantasmaZero: why, any straight man would give a ball to see that!
PhantasmaZero: luckily, i'm neither!
Juspressejct: Lol
PhantasmaZero: i carved my man's name into ym arm, i hope i get cool points
Juspressejct: I've never done that.
Juspressejct: I am suicidal though...
Juspressejct: So you like girls?
PhantasmaZero: yeah, they can be pretty when they're not mean
PhantasmaZero: i cut my wrists too, but i just draw scrabble in them and play against myself
PhantasmaZero: after a few moves i start to get woozy, though
Juspressejct: Oh well I'm mean...
PhantasmaZero: :-(
Juspressejct: I'm a cutter mostly my left wrist... I like my scars I think they are pretty
PhantasmaZero: i like drinking my own blood >8)
Juspressejct: I don't do that
PhantasmaZero: it tastes like luscious red pennies, i wrote a poem about it
PhantasmaZero: BLOOD
TASTES LIKE PENNIES
BLOOD
WORSHIP SATAN
Juspressejct: Taste like metal to me...
PhantasmaZero: delicious metal
PhantasmaZero: Erik's blood tastes different
PhantasmaZero: like spoons, not pennies
PhantasmaZero: sometimes i lick the spoons at my house and fantasize about him
PhantasmaZero: i had a dream about a girl from scxhool last night, though
PhantasmaZero: :-(
Juspressejct: That is psychotic...
Juspressejct: But nice
PhantasmaZero: yeah, everyone says i'm kind of weird
PhantasmaZero: sometimes i just belt out "worship satan" or "all hail lucifer" in class
PhantasmaZero: i always get sent to the office >8(
Juspressejct: uh, brb
PhantasmaZero: ok
PhantasmaZero: By Satan's infernal dagger, are you getting that penis now or what?
PhantasmaZero: oh poop. Lucifer and i have disgusted her. :-(
PhantasmaZero: At least i was working up a good jerk while she was talking to me. :-(

[Ninjavenom]

Makeout Club (http://www.makeoutclub.com) is so unbelievably perfect for this.

[Helm]

Haha ninjavenom that was the shit! FOR SATAN!

[Cap'n Crunch]

capncrunchsock: capncrunchsock: SO, DO YOU LIKE RYE BREAD?
GENERIC FAG: nope it sucks just like your bed
GENERIC FAG: she likes to suck cock like you do
GENERIC FAG: little fag
capncrunchsock: You are fucking stupid.
GENERIC FAG: fucking little bitch
GENERIC FAG: suck on cock
capncrunchsock: Really. You ride on gay jokes, which means you are gay. I am not gay, but you are. You fucking faggot. Now I am riding on gay jokes, and now I am turning into you, but I am not gay. Look, now you made me write a really really really long run on sentence and you are making me do it again you filty cunt ashtray.
Rye Man 686: your taking a while to type, your not sucking on your mom's cock are you
GENERIC FAG: o wow i'm gay but you are
GENERIC FAG: that's quite a comeback
capncrunchsock: I just typed half of a goddamn page you fucking moron.
capncrunchsock: ASL?
Rye Man 686: 17/m/pa
capncrunchsock: LOL
Rye Man 686: FAG
capncrunchsock: ASL?
Rye Man 686: i just sended it to you faggot
Rye Man 686: scroll up
capncrunchsock: ASL>
Rye Man 686: 17/m/pa

[Esuohlim]

I like the part where it confused me when you were talking to two people at the same time apparantly.

[Rongi]

:lol :love ninjavenom :love :lol

http://bastardninja.tripod.com/hill-person.txt i want to make this my avatar :(

[Cap'n Crunch]

I like the part where it confused me when you were talking to two people at the same time apparantly.

Thanks. :(

Rongi has the best avatar ever. Whatever happened to GothNAfagsbody?

[O71394658]

:bestthread

[Rongi]

JesusLovesNoobs: I love you
SmarterChild: I love you, you know that... Even though you weren't so cool to me earlier.
JesusLovesNoobs: let's sex
SmarterChild: You really want to sex?
JesusLovesNoobs: YES
SmarterChild: Why is that?
JesusLovesNoobs: fuck me now ;-)
SmarterChild: Interesting choice of words.
JesusLovesNoobs: sex me now ;-)
SmarterChild: Sex you?
JesusLovesNoobs: me
SmarterChild: Oh so it's all about you, huh?
JesusLovesNoobs: i guess it's over : (
SmarterChild: I'm impressed.
JesusLovesNoobs: impressed?
SmarterChild: Impressed? What's impressed?
JesusLovesNoobs: VAGINA
SmarterChild: Really?
JesusLovesNoobs: ok
SmarterChild: K.
JesusLovesNoobs: FIST
SmarterChild: Fist?
JesusLovesNoobs: ass
SmarterChild: Whoa. Are you... insulting me?
JesusLovesNoobs: no
SmarterChild: K, no prob.
JesusLovesNoobs: i hate ******s
SmarterChild: That's not very cool. I hope you don't mean that.
JesusLovesNoobs: i love ******s
SmarterChild: OK... Whatever.
JesusLovesNoobs: i hate irish people
SmarterChild: Huh. I hope you're kidding about that.
JesusLovesNoobs: I AM A COON
SmarterChild: A coon? How can you be sure?
JesusLovesNoobs: RAAR
SmarterChild: Raar?
JesusLovesNoobs: coons
SmarterChild: What about coons?
JesusLovesNoobs: i'm BLACK
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? How black are you?
JesusLovesNoobs: very
SmarterChild: Very? That seems a little extreme.
JesusLovesNoobs: i'm so black i make mr. t look like vanilla ice
SmarterChild: Interesting. Honestly, you humans say the strangest things.

Anyway...

You want to talk about your opinions some more?
JesusLovesNoobs: what are your views on black people?
SmarterChild: I dunno.
JesusLovesNoobs: YOU RACIST PIG
SmarterChild: Really?
JesusLovesNoobs: totally
SmarterChild: Totally?
JesusLovesNoobs: i'm a wop
SmarterChild: Ha! That's funny. You're a wop!
JesusLovesNoobs: HEY FUCK YOU YOU FUCKIN ROBOT. I WILL SO GET THE FUCKIN MOB ON YOU SO FAST YOUR FUCKIN ROBOT HEAD WOULD FLY RIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS >:o
SmarterChild: Nice mouth, JesusLovesNoobs!
JesusLovesNoobs: cunt >: (
SmarterChild: Hey cool it. You don't want me to make you apologize again.

:(