My penis is weird.

[The One and Only...]

One one side, the muscles are way larger than the other. This causes it to bend slightly while elongated. :(

Maybe I should start beating off with the other hand... :(

[AChimp]

You probably have cancer.

[KILLADEUCE]

You should try a splint... You know, like they use for broken limbs...

[The One and Only...]

You probably have cancer.

Nope. According to jackinworld, it's a common condition.

The worst I could really have is Pyronie's Disease, which isn't all that bad.

BTW: I know you're being sarcastic...

[KILLADEUCE]

Now thats a rare disorder i had to read up on-

http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/peyronie/index.htm

[The One and Only...]

*checks pants* no hard lump... I guess I'm good.

[Jeanette X]

Sounds like normal variation. I wouldn't worry about it.

[The Retro Kat]

Thanks, Doc. :)

[AChimp]

Cancer is a variation. :rolleyes

[FartinMowler]

Nope. According to jackinworld, it's a common condition I could have thought of a better name :/

[The One and Only...]

www.jackinworld.com

[FS]

I believe the idea that the penis can change shape according to the way you jack off or which way you 'carry' it, is a myth.

[CaptainBubba]

No myth. I always jack off to the right and hold my penis to the right of my pants and my dick naturally leans right.

[Ninjavenom]

Are you sure that the latter is not the cause of the former?

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Curved penis? :lol You so know the ladies will laugh at that.

[Jeanette X]

My bf has a slight curve. I don't laugh at him.

[The One and Only...]

Maybe it will set me apart from all the other guys. :)

[KILLADEUCE]

Bieng different is what brings zest to this otherwise dreary existince :)

[kellychaos]

My bf has a slight curve. I don't laugh at him.

If there's such a thing as a precision-balanced penis, I've never heard about it. That not I'm makin' enquiries or anything. Just sayin'


I think the proper medical procedure for this guys' condition is a tourniquette ... I could be wrong, though. :/

[agroskaterik]

i love you kelly.

[kellychaos]

Have you filled out the proper sarcasm applications prior to submission ... in triplicate. Follow procedure our your application will be be accepted for submission. That is all.

[ScruU2wice]

i dont think he was being sarcastic :/...

[agroskaterik]

i'm serious.

this is Loveline is it not?

[kellychaos]

In that case, thank you. Thank you all. :)

[agroskaterik]

:)

[CaptainBubba]

Its not curved to the right. Its curved a little up. It just leans to the right going in a straight direction.

Ninjavenom: I never thought about it before. I guess that might be.

[FS]

Royal nervously anticipates the day he achieves an erection and finds out whether or not it is crooked.

If any girl laughs at you for having a cock that bends, point out that her tits aren't of equal size, the nipples are in a strange place, her labia are too big. Then laugh at your imperfections, turn off the light and make crazy monkey love.

[The One and Only...]

Yeah... I also have one ball that hangs a lot lower than the other, but doesn't everybody?

[agroskaterik]

yes, except most women.

[Esuohlim]

Mine leans to the right. Doesn't every guy's lean to the right? Unless, of course, you're some moron who masturbates by rubbing your penis against your left thigh.

[ScruU2wice]

yes, except most women.

yes, most women...

[agroskaterik]

;)

[sadie]

fatsatan: :love

oneandonly: if your penis were perfect, it'd be completely out of place on you.

[Ninjavenom]

BOOMERANG BOY! :x

[BlueOatmeal]

Mine has a slight downward curve from the years of beatings I have given it. Its not and extreme curve so I guess its not all that bad. I've aslo tried different ways of masterbating to see if it will fix it before it gets too bad.

[CastroMotorOil]

Mine goes to the left. My gf likes it that way. Im not sure why it does considering im right handed.

[Mike]

Mine is pretty much straight outward, but it has a slight upward curve. My girlfriend likes it because it rubs on something in her twat that I can't remember the name of.

[jin]

MY PENIS IS BIG AND MY GIRLFRIEND LIKES IT BECAUSE IT MAKES HER HAPPY IN HER VERGINIA BUT I DONT KNOW WHY.

I HAVE LOTS OF SEX.

PS. LOTS.

PPS. I AM COOL NOW.

PPPS. You are talking possibly about the "G-Spot" which is located a little past the inner lips and scientists say might actually be a variation of the male prostate.

[kellychaos]

Have you tried talking to your penis? Maybe your penis will respond and become unbendy through the gentle, caring nuturing words ... like they say about plants. :)


Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever.
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls.

[Mike]

PPPPS. You dissin me, jin? If you weren't so cool yourself I might go to the trouble of thinking up some smart-ass comeback. That, and I'm thirsty...*wanders off in search of lemonade*