"THE PROMISE OF THE RAINBOW" by Max Burbank

[Mockery]

Max admitted that he experienced "extreme childish jealousy" over the fact that we had a real writer on the site recently - ie: Rick Bayan's "Osgood Mott" (http://www.i-mockery.com/visionary/osgood.asp) piece (which you should all read if you haven't yet). So, he quickly cranked out a new piece of his own. See, all it takes to get the old fella churning out new material is some stiff competition. Anyway, you might think the title of this piece is one of Max's subtle ways of promoting his homosexual promiscuity, but I assure you it's not. Ok, well maybe just a little bit.

"THE PROMISE OF THE RAINBOW" by Max Burbank:
http://www.I-Mockery.com/Visionary/rainbow.asp

Enjoy!

-RoG-

[FS]

I wish, just for once, I could read one of Max's pieces without ending up crying and having my faith debased.

[Jeanette X]

Max, you are hilarious! I love the pieces that involve your children! :)

[Cosmo Electrolux]

:worship Max :worship

[mburbank]

Thanks folks. Really.

A few points to our fearless leader:

1.) Those were PRIVATE messages, damn you! PRIVATE!

2.) By 'real writer', I mean publishing and getting paid for it, hence the childish jealousy. I don't want anyone thinking I even care about anything as puerile as talent. It's the green I'm talking about.

3.) I've been working on that off and on for about a month. The jealousy just got me to finish it.

4.) I really lilked the stuff I read rom the cynics dictionary.

[Mockery]

1.) Those were PRIVATE messages, damn you! PRIVATE!

Private? What would a man who flaunts himself publically in a tight dress care about privacy?

2.) By 'real writer', I mean publishing and getting paid for it, hence the childish jealousy. I don't want anyone thinking I even care about anything as puerile as talent. It's the green I'm talking about.

I can send you some free stickers for your efforts, would that count as you getting "paid" for it?

3.) I've been working on that off and on for about a month. The jealousy just got me to finish it.

So now all I have to do to get you to crank out more material is make-up shit and say it's by a published author? Man, this is gonna be easier than I thought!

4.) I really lilked the stuff I read from the cynics dictionary.

You should check out some more of his pieces on that site, he's got some of the best rants on the market.

But back to your piece, I think it's one of the best. I gotta agree with Jeanette about you writing about kids. Your love/hatred for them is the perfect mix. Easily the best piece you've done all year! So that means, it's the best of 3!

:lol2

[Jeanette X]

Didn't Ambrose Pierce write the first Cynic's Dictionary?

[whoreable]

I finally read both articles. They were both very enjoyable.

[Spectre X]

maybe it's because I'm an idiot, but this piece of Max made me laugh the most of his work, well, apart from the ones about him and Oprah and Celine Dion on the road trip...aaaah, memories.

Gold, Max, pure GOLD!

[pjalne]

Haven't gotten around to reading the Bayan piece just yet, but I got through the Max one. I'm pretty fucking sick, and I can't really see straight or remember what I read four seconds ago, but I really liked it for what that's worth.

[mburbank]

I love kids and I love working with them. I've never actually wanted to say anything awful (well, the kind of awful you see in those pieces) but I've always loved to imagine it. There's something inherently funny about subjecting children to the sort of casual cruelty and lunacy that adults subj3ect each other to all the time.

Think of the worst boss you ever had, and the worst tirade he ever went on. Now think of him doing it to a five year old instead of you. Instant comedy.

And I reall did see two lesbian drawrfs arm wrestle under a pool table in a Florida Lesbian bar. I shit you not.