Johnathan Clement on Youtube

[Chojin]

This is probably the best YouTube channel ever:

http://youtube.com/user/JonathanClement140


You can expect to see regular gems like this one, where he celebrates his 10th subscriber (only 90 more before he reaches the triple digits :nervous laugh)!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FF3Z6bXpiic

Or this one, where he celebrates his first friend, who is just as awkward as he is! Marvel as they act like a sixteen-year-old couple about to buy their first condoms!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iGt_AOH-G0w

Or this one, where he sighs after every sentence! Truly, his soul is weary with the weight of the world!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=U58Uf2qgpLc

Yeah..... Came with a whole... litter of kittens... back in... 2001...
This is the last one.........
Nyeeaaahh..... Nyeaaaaaaaaah.....

[GADZOOKS]

I love it! It's like the spirit of Chris Farley has been passed on to him. He's terrifying!

Sidenote: I hope those awful youtube users don't make any heterophobic remars. I hate those guys!

Doubleside Note: Is it just me or does it sound like he's puking at the end of the cat video.

"Gee-gee-ughhh :x geee-ughhh....So soft. (beeping) uh oh the pizzas are done in there"

[Supafly345]

His room looks like the inside of a shotgun shack. Or as he calls it, shogun shack.

[MarioRPG]

"So don't say I DO NOT have a life becauseIhaveafriend"
Those are great.

EDIT: So soft...
:x

[RaNkeri]

I love the Jonathan's cat and Jonathan's friend videos :lol

I lolled hard when they were posted for the first time

[Sacks]

Is this the greatest ruse of all time? Does this rival the early Dax Flame? I refuse to believe this is reality.

[ArrowX]

I refuse to believe these are real.

[ItalianStereotype]

I like that the only thing that was keeping that cat from being date raped was Clement's excitement over making his ass even fatter.

[ItalianStereotype]

Clement is such a deeply tortured soul! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=-G8DqlKnarA)

[zeldasbiggestfan]

"I need to go to Kelowna and help my mom move and hopefully get some stimulation again."

That description made me laugh so hard.

[MLE]

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME.... OF THE YEAR

[Chojin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXexMCvCpcY

New clement action! EEERNGH it's EEERRNGH that time again....... Why do these FUCKIN' companies insist on selling schoolbooks.... I mean... school supplies.......

[zeldasbiggestfan]

OH BOY IS HE PISSED OFF TONIGHT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs4jtY1VhZ4

[kahljorn]

im going to watch these with my girlfriend when she comes home ;o

[Sacks]

UGghghhh. Errggghhhh... Bllarrhhhhghh

[kahljorn]

"Hey so what about those candy canes? What the fuck is with those candy cane? Every christmas it's some type of candy cane h ello isn't there any other type of shape that brings christmas cheer. I'm so sick of these candy canes! They had the red and the white and now they got the blue and the yellow and the red and the pink and the rainbow all kinds of other colors what te hell do you think we care about candy canes huh they taste like shit nobody wants them it's just a money scheme."

[kahljorn]

What's more appropriate: Seinfelds head on clements bosomy body, or clements fat head on seinfelds while he's in some type of suave stickman pose?

[Guitar Woman]

the second one.

[RaNkeri]

"OOOOOOOOOOOH*with faggy voice* It's SOOO anoying to see these FUCKING commercials on tv all the time" :lol


Do not forget to subscribe guys!

[Sacks]

You guys just need to stop following the fear thats in your hearts.

[ArrowX]

Ok I'm convinced its him, the "sex in heaven?" video was the kicker since he stopped being a Christian because theres no sex in heaven.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XOwaU-oPtc0

[MisSFiT]

But they were going to eat spiderman action figures.

[Emu]

Make sure someone archives these before he deletes them

[kahljorn]

he'll probably delete it right after he finds out that i-mockery is ridiculing his newest attempt at being cool and finding a social niche.

[Esuohlim]

"My friend Matthew" was the most embarrassingly painful thing to watch ever. I love it.

[DuFresne]

Looks like I picked an awesome day to come out of my I-mock hiatus! This is too amazing for words.

[Otto]

He keeps IM'ing me, I really wish he'd stop.

Matthew is like some sort of functionally autistic elf.

[MarioRPG]

He swears an awful lot. But I think he does it for the image, he doesn't really have a reason to swear, he just sort of injects some every now and then.

[Chojin]

Watch matthew's face during that video, he's always making horrible expressions and blinking really hard.

[Guitar Woman]

He looks like a retarded Quentin Tarantino.

[eggyolk]

"I need to get out, i need to socialize, i need to do stuff outside town."

seriously who gives a shit?

[Sacks]

You must give some kind of shit if you're sitting and watching these.

[Cfr5]

"I need to get out, I need to socialize, I need to do stuff outside town" he says as he sits inside in front of a camera instead of going out, socializing*, and doing stuff outside of town.

* youtube's community doesn't count.

[MattJack]

3 mins of Same Sex Marriage is better than 90mins of Scarey Movie 4.

Jonathan's Comic Recipe:
1 Cup of stutter and word stumble.
3 slices of confusion.
A liberal amount of incoherence.
2 cloves of narcissism
Then top it with a dash of speech impediment
Bake on YouTube


"..I absolutely detested same sex marriage, and looking back on it now the only reason I did was because the bible was against it, and because it kinda been brought up to believe it was bad and gross, er, er.. whatever and uh.

And so I would get on these message boards and sorta have fights about it, an, I would often end up being so passionate about it that i'd start up flaming, an, and uh, and uhhI'd end up uh getting kicked off the message board.

Well when I left Christianity..."

I love his thought process. So I would flame message boards, and uh, they'd ban me. Well when I left Christianity.

LOL WHAT?!

Slow down man! Did I miss something? What happened between being banned from internet message boards and you losing your faith in God? Or was that a cause and effect kind of thing?

I could probably type about 3 pages on just this video, but I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet.

[Esuohlim]

The way he says "I would get so passionate about it I would start FLAMING" makes the gay-marriage rant even more hilarious.

[Krythor]

Hello... hello. I am the ghost of Jonathan Clement... and I want to tell you about my condition.

[Guitar Woman]

How come he always introduces himself as JonathanClement140? Can't he just leave out the number at the end? And why did he name himself that, anyway? Are there another hundred and thirty nine Jonathan Clements we don't know about running around on YouTube?

[Guitar Woman]

Also, his favorites list is hilarious.

[Otto]

I wonder if Jonathan has started to self diagnose himself with Asperger's Syndrome? It seems like the kind of thing he would do. "Sure I'm fat, beyond socially awkward, and I have a room-temperature IQ, but it's not because I'm a fucktarded shutin with no respect with my own body, IT'S A MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED ASSBURGERS!"

[Guitar Woman]

It wouldn't change anything, except he'd get more pussified. You have to be diagnosed by a licenced professional at a wilderness program in the middle of the Oregon desert, then shipped out to a teenager mental hospital in Idaho for it to be worth anything.

[Esuohlim]

And maybe there he'll find a nice girl and then complain on Youtube about how he missed his chance with her!

[Otto]

Clement keeps alluding to the fact that he lives with his grandparents, I bet their house is that weird one at the end of the block, the one that has the overgrown lawn, rusted playground stuff, and matresses against all the windows, and whenever they open the door they only thing that you can smell is cat pee.

[Guitar Woman]

I had a dream about her last night. :tear

[Rongi]

Hello... hello. I am the ghost of Jonathan Clement... and I want to tell you about my condition.

:lol Oh man it's even funnier to me because no one is going to get it

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI4g4WsFk5A
This is my new favorite one because he sounds like he has been taking autism lessons from Dustin Hoffman

[Wiffle Bat]

i want to be his friend so bad T__T

[Sacks]

What is the three yellow circle thing on his wall? Does anyone know? I assume it has something to do with anime.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I like how he called christians stupid.

[Guitar Woman]

There are at least 500 animes with that symbol.

Anyone see the video where he teaches kids how to mastrubate with the help of Fred Phelps? :x

[RaNkeri]

The sexless heaven challenge! :eek

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i2Ikg2KjCTk


He's on a roll :lol

[Guitar Woman]

Eight fucking minutes? I love these videos as much as the next guy, but there is no way I am watching captain bitchtits drone his way through some wannabe philosophical bullshit for that long.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

YEAH I KNOW. And why does he care? Hes not getting fucked during his life or heaven.

[Guitar Woman]

So I just kind of let it play in the background while I was farting around on I-Mock, and he gets really really agitated by about 5:27 and sounds like he is about to BURST INTO TEARS OF PASSION over this, and then at the end he makes his closing statement really wearily and then sighs like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. It made me lol, but the first five minutes are skipable.

[Krythor]

"And you always use this orgies in heaven crap. I never said anything about orgies, you always... YOU PEOPLE! YOU IDIOTS! YOU ALWAYS JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS! I DON'T WANT ORGIES IN HEAVEN, I WANT ROMANCE! I WANNA DO IT WITH ONE PERSON!"

Jeez louise.

[GADZOOKS]

HE WANTS ROMANCE PEOPLE! ROSE PETALS ON THE BED KIND OF ROMANCE!

[liquidstatik]

hhahahhahaa, he sounds so sad ;o

[Cfr5]

This (http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=695) kind of romance?

[Sacks]

I'm glad he's finally wearing something that isn't just an under shirt.

[DuFresne]

He seems to throw up in his mouth when he talks about Buddhists.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Man, he's got some flapjack titties.

[Emu]

Yes, they pale in comparison to your own baseball-like roundness.

[Esuohlim]

"FOR THREE YEARS I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS! I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THESE CRACKPOTS ON THE...ON THE INTERNET!"

[noob3]

who the fuck is this guy and why should i watch his video

fuck him if he sucks so bad why do you guys give him so much attention? i won't ever watch this shit!

[Guitar Woman]

Get off my internet :o

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/search.php?searchid=39909

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Yes, they pale in comparison to your own baseball-like roundness.
I AM PROUD OF THEM TOO.

[GADZOOKS]

Pot. Kettle. Blech!

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtutfY11D0k
He said he was going to make today's video about how horrible our website is. He is full of lies.

He gets less agitated in this one than the sexless heaven thing, but here he is not even making any sense. He jumps from STDs to abstinance until marrage to not kissing a girl until you marry her to EVIL CHRISTIANS to condoms made from sheep intestines being blown up like ballons and right back to STDs, and it is the kind of CRAZY ROLLERCOASTER OF CONTROVERSY only Jonathan Clement can put you on!

[RaNkeri]

The fatty is also slow. He was supposed to post the most recent video on Thursday

EDIT: It's hysterical to see him bashing marriage - Obviously because he'll never get the chance for it :lol

[ZAKO the GREAT]

whining little bastard.
i mean, who the hell he think he is to question all those things?

not to mention the cheap setting, to see him sitting on his bed and talking crap is bad enough, and bring in some random guy just to show he's got a friend? pathetic...
and it seems that he cared nothing but SEX. does he really think any girls would TOUCHED by his words?

last but not least, he always seems PISSED for no reason at all...
we should make a game out of him, really.
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69697293

[DuFresne]

I demand to know who MicrowavedGrape is. Because he/she made the only single youtube comment yet that didn't make me want to slap someone.

[Chojin]

That would be guitar woman.

[DuFresne]

:( now i feel dirty.

[Chojin]

:orgasm

[Guitar Woman]

Woo hoo, people internet love me again!

He deleted my comment on the Sexless Heaven video, he just couldn't handle the HARSH REALITY of it :<

[DuFresne]

I now declare the "he/she" in my original post to be retroactively funny.

[Chojin]

It's 'in' to like guitar woman right now, Fresca. It's okay.

Personally, I'm just doing it so that by the time she becomes a woman again I'll already be in her good graces :orgasm

[Guitar Woman]

WHAT AM I TO YOU, JUST A PIECE OF MEAT :tear


Oh shit, I just noticed my IRL friend has posted comments on these and is treating Clement like an actual person. God, I want to hurt him so bad. :<

[GADZOOKS]

He said he didn't want a vagina anymore. You would all get to laugh at that fantastic joke if he didn't constantly edit his post.

I'm being sarcastic
edit: Final fantasty is over-rat

I also think it's a paradox for a non-conformist to be "in".

[Guitar Woman]

Gadzooks will not be satisfied until I am the girl again. <3

[GADZOOKS]

That joke is overratAnd I still thought you were duller then a Fartin Mowler script even when you were female.

[Rongi]

Mark, I know GW sucks but dont worry. He'll wonder back into obscurity once someone embarrasses him enough

and god fucking damnit why cant i download Time Of The Preacher? Let me hear some red headed stranger, damnit!

[GADZOOKS]

Sorry I was already editing my post when you posted that. You're right there is a topic at hand and personally I think that if Johnathan Clement would get off his high horhttp://www.freefever.com/animatedgifs/cartoons/animated/scoobydoo2.gif

[Guitar Woman]

:oneofthosedays
THIS THREAD

[Rongi]

Johnathan Clement you are a piece of work

[MockMeAmadeus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5GGNDuKvt0

Baddaboom. This is the latest. OMG!

[MockMeAmadeus]

Sorry guys. No word yet on how the Almighty feels about not being discovered by Jonathan Clement.

[DuFresne]

I seriously wonder if Jonathan would be more tolerable or less if he had never come to I-mock in the first place. Not that we'd ever know, but he makes it seem like i-mock was a HUGE turning point in his life (which, no offense to I-mock at all, is kinda sad in itself).

[Emu]

I'd bet money that i-mock is directly responsible for his atheism.

[Chojin]

A CERTAIN PERSON HAS HAD THEIR EDIT BUTTON REVOKED AGAIN

:oneofthosedays

[MockMeAmadeus]

You win. 3 to 1!

[MockMeAmadeus]

Oops. That was in reply to Emu's post!

[Chojin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5GGNDuKvt0

His hardest-to-watch video yet!

[RaNkeri]

That was pure awful :/

Seriously, It's so bad it's not even funny. Poor kid.

[Chojin]

I laughed the hardest when he stopped speaking.

[RaNkeri]

He did wear pants this time, just as I told him to.

Does that mean Clement is my bitch? :<

[ZAKO the GREAT]

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=501508#post501508

well well well, am i just saw the words "MOCK ME" in bright, bold arial black letters in this piece of art?

[ArrowX]

hes attracted to GW. does that make him gay since GW is a little boy?

[noob3]

guitar woman is a man that's what i heard

[Guitar Woman]

Oh my goodness gracious, Jonathan Clement is lusting after me :o

[DuFresne]

He want to have ROMANCE with you!!!!!!!!!11

[Guitar Woman]

I don't know why this made me laugh the first time I saw it, he's fucking disgusting. :x

[ItalianStereotype]

aw, I think you'd be just the CUTEST couple.

[Cfr5]

Yeah, take one for the team. Go hook up with him and distract him from making more of his videos and from posting here.

And hopefully from breathing as well.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

HUHUH ANDEEEEE. BROTHERRSSSSSSSSSSS.

Oh my god. This video makes me appreciacte my life so much fucking more. So much.

[MockMeAmadeus]

Jonathan, your profile says that you are currently viewing this post. Are you really such a sucker for punishment? YES, you are.

[Jonathan Clement]

:lolLMAO!!! Yes, mah good man, I am veiwing this post! And I'm laughing like hell, and I'm glad that you enjoy my videos!

[ZAKO the GREAT]

make more of em then, faggot!

[MockMeAmadeus]

:lolLMAO!!! Yes, mah good man, I am veiwing this post! And I'm laughing like hell, and I'm glad that you enjoy my videos!

Jonathan, so your internet stops working and without Fag.com and Faggot’s Forum to occupy yourself, you turn to your impressive collection of Anime the Hedgehog pornography, only to find out that it was all deleted by your mom while you were at work and replaced with a .txt file that reads 'ive failed you as a mother' and at just that moment the smoke alarm goes off in the kitchen and you run in to find your mother's head in the oven and right as you scream you sit up in bed, realizing it was all a dream, but when you go to the computer to tell your friends on Fag.com and Faggot’s Forum about it, you discover the internet isn't working.

[kahljorn]

If you keep it up, within a few weeks you'll have the highest invisible post count.

[Chojin]

Jonathan, so your internet stops working and without Fag.com and Faggot’s Forum to occupy yourself, you turn to your impressive collection of Anime the Hedgehog pornography, only to find out that it was all deleted by your mom while you were at work and replaced with a .txt file that reads 'ive failed you as a mother' and at just that moment the smoke alarm goes off in the kitchen and you run in to find your mother's head in the oven and right as you scream you sit up in bed, realizing it was all a dream, but when you go to the computer to tell your friends on Fag.com and Faggot’s Forum about it, you discover the internet isn't working.

I think I made this exact same joke like, years ago ;<

joke stealer.

[Emu]

you did, i remember it

[MockMeAmadeus]

I think I made this exact same joke like, years ago ;<

joke stealer.

:lol And a great one it was. I'm sorry that I heisted it, but it was so damn good. :)

[Jonathan Clement]

Are you even trying?

[Grislygus]

What makes you think he should? Before you were fat, stupid, crazy and hostile. Now you're just fat, stupid, crazy and boring.

[Matt Harty]

I just got around to watching them all and urinated myself laughing. They're so excruciatingly embarrassing to watch it almost feels like their fake.

[Matt Harty]

"it tastes so yummmmy when i gargle it it tickles my throooat!"

and then he slowly reflects

[Chojin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja7NY_Ca9sY

John is posting from the laundry room today.

[Guitar Woman]

I can't wait to play Runescape with Jon and his new sexy facial hair.

[sloth]

oh jonathanclement! what will you get up to next!

[Krythor]

Did he grow the devil's facial hair purposely as a symbol of his fall from grace with God?

[Matt Harty]

Jon has changed alot since his younger days. Marvel as he chokes on a bad joke and brushes his teeth when an invisible toothbrush!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQOuu9kAVB0

[Guitar Woman]

Jesus christ that's terrible :x

He's worse than my siblings, who will no doubt be appearing on YouTube sometime in the near future! I will share when this happens!

[zeldasbiggestfan]

It's like he had a tardgasm or something.

[ValientKid]

I just resurrected a dead post, but I think it's worth it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PhqeebFSBMo

just get to one minute mark, thats when all hell breaks loose.

[MLE]

actually, I think that was worth it.

[Guitar Woman]

I watched to about the two minute mark and was too incredibly horrified to continue ;<

[Sacks]

How awesome.


Edit: Continued on to part 5 to learn that cold clammy hands = ultrasex.

[MLE]

oh god. i decided to not go on after part 4.

[Jonathan Clement]

LOL!!! Hey, speaking of my de-conversion, I found out a juicy little bit of info: Appearantly, Savannah is married now. I wonder if it couldn't have been me had I asked her out... DAMN, those mormons marry young...

[Emu]

sup jonathen

[Jonathan Clement]

Not much... I think I'm gonna be moving and getting a job in Kelowna some time between Christmas and Newyears. I originally wanted to go in may, but I heard it's hard to find a place there, so, I figure I should start trying to get a place now, or, get in the line-up as soon as I can. I want to start moving in may if I get a place before then... That place is hell for trying to find a place. If you're lucky enough to actually FIND one, then you better hang on for dear life.

[Sacks]

Jonathan what happens when you finally have sex with one of these Mormon girls and realize it's fucking terrible and you've wasted so many years of your life chasing a dream that is actually a nightmare. Will you YouTube your re-conversion in 20 parts?

[Chojin]

so does he hate or love jesus now? I got lost.

[Seven Force]

All I know about you (Johnathan) is that you watch a lot of anime which means you're not a worthwhile person in general. Nobody from the states should be watching that on a a regular basis unless you happen to be a child or japanese. You just look like a shut-in humpty dumpty.

[Jonathan Clement]

Jonathan what happens when you finally have sex with one of these Mormon girls and realize it's fucking terrible and you've wasted so many years of your life chasing a dream that is actually a nightmare. Will you YouTube your re-conversion in 20 parts?Oh, no, there's no WAY I'm ever going back to the mormons again. After the whole Jenna fiasco, the thought of being with one of those girls was comparable to eating cardboard. They didn't seem very lively. They seemed really brainwashed by the religion.

so does he hate or love jesus now? I got lost.Hate... But it's not so much Jesus. It's more the religion itself, and in particular, it's followers. I can't BELIEVE how easy it is to debate with christians! XD

All I know about you (Johnathan) is that you watch a lot of anime which means you're not a worthwhile person in general. Nobody from the states should be watching that on a a regular basis unless you happen to be a child or japanese. You just look like a shut-in humpty dumpty.First, I DON'T watch anime all that often. I actually like to cruise around youtube looking for Christians to rip apart. It's SO fun to watch them squirm and to plant to cute little seeds of doubt. Most of the time, they'll run away like cowards! XD I'll have to do a youtube series of all of my conversations! Second, I'm not from the states. I am from Canada. And third, yes, I'm a shut-in, but that's going to change next week. I'm gonna get out of this house and move to Kelowna and get a job there and get my own place. And most importantly, to get a girlfriend. The only way I'll get one is by having in-dependence. I really hate to leave this town behind. I'll miss my employers, as well as my grandparents, but I have to do it for my own good. I originally wanted to go in may, but then I found out how hard it is to find a place, so, I have to go much sooner than originally planned so that I'll have a better chance of finding a place. I'll have to live with my mom until I can get my own place. Like I said, it's hell to find a place there, and if you do, GRAB IT, AND HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE!

[Emu]

ya XD i no

[Seven Force]

kid you had me at "watch them squirm" and "plant seeds"

[Sacks]

WHY ARE GIRLS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? ARE YOU 13? ARE YOU SECRETLY GAY? WHAT IS IT!

[Sam]

XD

[ValientKid]

Who wants to start a money pool on how many dead Asian girls will be found in his freezer?

[Emu]

Jonathan you know how in Christianity it's a sin to kill yourself? I think you should rebel against that

[Jonathan Clement]

WHY ARE GIRLS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? ARE YOU 13? ARE YOU SECRETLY GAY? WHAT IS IT!Uh... Cause they're sexy? And soft? And nice to hold? Cause I'm a horny 17-year-old? What straight guy DOESN'T like girls? Besides, if christianity is true, then it's unfair that some get to have sex and I have to miss out cause I was ABSTINENT like God TOLD ME to be!

Who wants to start a money pool on how many dead Asian girls will be found in his freezer?Come on, I'm not THAT creepy!

Jonathan you know how in Christianity it's a sin to kill yourself? I think you should rebel against thatAnd waste the only life I may have? That would defeat the purpose. I might as well go back to being a christian...

[Guitar Woman]

You know, uh, being an athiest doesn't mean slutting yourself out as much as possible

I don't!

[Jonathan Clement]

You know, uh, being an athiest doesn't mean slutting yourself out as much as possible

I don't!

Of course. I know that. I don't want to have sex until I find somebody I really like. I also use that argument against christians! I'm going to do a series on my youtube channel called "Christian ownage".

[kahljorn]

Kids sure grow up fast!

[Tadao]

Hey there Johnathan, I just found out about you today via this forum group. Errrr hmmmmm I'm speachless. What would JC say?

[ZAKO the GREAT]

i just cant fxxking believe this thread is still active...:x

[Guitar Woman]

Jon, I noticed you took down your CUHRAAAAAAAAAZY antics in that one video!

What the hell, man!

[Sacks]

Uh... Cause they're sexy? And soft? And nice to hold? Cause I'm a horny 17-year-old? What straight guy DOESN'T like girls? Besides, if christianity is true, then it's unfair that some get to have sex and I have to miss out cause I was ABSTINENT like God TOLD ME to be!


You are weak like a little baby. Stop watching Fruits Basket and watch Point Blank with Lee Marvin and Taxi Driver. Stop eating quiche. Start doing pull ups on jungle gyms in bad neighborhoods and running in the morning in a ratty gray sweat suit. Grab the pearl and ride the dragon's wings you sad bastard, because only then will you truly be able to pick up women and understand their evil ways.

[Tadao]

Oh, and if do get layed, the rule is you have to last at least 10 minutes before you cum. That's average. Anything below that means you're gay.

[Jonathan Clement]

Jon, I noticed you took down your CUHRAAAAAAAAAZY antics in that one video!

What the hell, man!

Eh, It was bothering me. I thought it really hurt my credibility. Wasn't that funny, anyway. I'll never be a DaxFlame.

[Emu]

never again

[Qwarx]

Are you still friends with that Matthew dude?

[Jonathan Clement]

Yeah, but I might not see him for several months when I move! :(

[Qwarx]

does he still have twitchy eyes?

[Guitar Woman]

shut the fuck up

[Jonathan Clement]

Say what you will about me, but leave my friends alone!

[Tadao]

I'm gay for Matthew

[Qwarx]

Say what you will about me, but leave my friends alone!

If you insist.:lol

[Guitar Woman]

Do we really need 3 active Clement threads at once

I mean, 1 is usually too much anyway

[ZAKO the GREAT]

Say what you will about me, but leave my friends alone!
that's a rare species called Cercopithecidae-Matthewlous.
you can actually sell him to any lab and earn a few bucks to buy yourself a candy bar.

[Cfr5]

Do we really need 3 active Clement threads at once

I mean, 1 is usually too much anyway

0 is too much. We need at most -4.