Log in

View Full Version : Editorials - New Jersey Dogs Of My Acquaintance


MockBot
Feb 19th, 2008, 02:13 AM
Automatically generated comment thread for Editorials - New Jersey Dogs Of My Acquaintance (http://www.i-mockery.com/visionary/new-jersey-dogs.php).

SunnyD
Feb 19th, 2008, 02:27 AM
Wow,

I like the way Sheba sounds. Like a good dog, a bit old and frayed, but good nevertheless and the kind of dog you wish you could meet.

Peebee on the other hand, sounds like the kind of dog you'd be constantly throwing shoes at. And my boyfriend's fox terrier acts just like Cocoa, she's always humping the beagle's head or body and he's easily 3 times bigger. But he's just so damn dumb, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten himself stuck somewhere or just broke his neck that one time he fell down the stairs.

Coincidently, my dog Lucy is identical to Cocoa, save for the fact that she has two eyes and a much nicer disposition.

Nick
Feb 19th, 2008, 03:11 AM
I believe this story effectively describes the three types of dogs you have in this world. Good, stupid, and annoying.

Sillygoth
Feb 19th, 2008, 07:05 AM
I'm gonna have to agree with Nick on this one. Cocoa is the sort of dog that made me into a cat person.

Jigby Huggletinks
Feb 19th, 2008, 10:30 AM
There are many things in this article that made me think "That's a damn shame," but mostly it's just a damn shame nobody got it on video when that poodle got its head ripped off.

stonewar
Feb 19th, 2008, 12:59 PM
Man of all the time to read something so sad. The family decided to put a pet down last night.

Coryjonc
Feb 19th, 2008, 01:45 PM
I have a Miniature Dachshund (or however you spell that) and she's really cool, just a puppy. My Mom, however, has a Pomeranian. Now his birth certificate says that he was breed in Siberia, but I assure you this little cretin was spawned in the deepest, darkest pits of hell. If I leave my room and keep the door open, he walks in and leaves a nice steaming shit on the rug, EVERY TIME. Sometimes he likes to walk in when I'm playing video games and start barking to distract me.

The worst thing is, my Mother thinks he's the most innocent, adorable creature to ever grace the world with his presence. He puts on his "Nice" act around her... In other words, say she's around, he acts all cute... But the moment she turns her head, he gives me the look that says, "Heh, see? She likes me better than you. I'm cuter than you." And whenever I'm trying to sleep, he starts barking. Every goddamn ******* time. But since my Mom loves him, when I say, "SHUT THAT DOG UP!" She replies with, "Oh, he's just excited!" ..Excited that he has another opportunity to ruin my day, most likely...

Nktalloth
Feb 19th, 2008, 03:05 PM
Peebee reminds me of a friends dog named Shadow. Shadow was probably the most dignified Golden Retriever in the world, until he opened his mouth. At which point he acquired a look of patient stupidity and unrestrained imbecile joy at whatever was going on around him. I remember throwing a ball to him- right to him, mind you, as I have excellent aim- only to have it bounce right off his nose. Whereupon he would become very much confused when another, smarter dog would invariably steal his ball. He has got to be one of the most friendly dogs in the world, though. Once, he was attacked by a pit bull. He didn't even bother retaliating, just got a look of helplessness and indignity at his situation. Survived, of course. Poor guy died a couple of months back, before Christmas. The spoiled little sister of my friend immediately demanded a replacement puppy. But no dog could replace Shadow. May he rest in peace.

beatpole
Feb 19th, 2008, 06:44 PM
I'll bet Peebee is still smarer than alot of humans I know. On an unrelated note, one of the funniest experiences of my life was watching a three-year-old filipino boy boxing the family dog into submission.

Hugo
Feb 19th, 2008, 09:06 PM
Now that's some good writing, both funny and emotional. I had a few pets in my life as well, but I believe some ancestor of mine was victim of some sort of gypsy curse or something, because no pet in my family has survived any longer than a full year. A female boxer was poisoned by a stranger, a cat was accidentally killed by her own vet, another cat broke her hip and was sacrificed, my ant's cat disappeared mysteriously, and my cousin's cat, who was spending a couple days at my home, almost died in a fire. I had a little fish who died in a week, he was swimming backwards and upside-down, and it was like a crossing between finding nemo and the exorcist.

Colonel Flagg
Feb 19th, 2008, 09:42 PM
Very nice piece, and with suitable pathos, concerning the elder shepard.

Speaking as one who has seen many dogs through their latter years (we tend to adopt older dogs from the SPCA) I can say, with confidence, that the loss of a pet is profound, gut-wrenching and life-altering. One cannot help but grow from the experience.

On another note, I really do not like toy poodles....

10,000 Volt Ghost
Feb 19th, 2008, 10:19 PM
yeah, that's why I just can't deal with dogs. I don't like them, they don't like me. They definitely don't deserve that to happen to them though.

Lordsalmon
Feb 19th, 2008, 10:23 PM
that story made me feel sad. was it supposed to make me feel sad?

Tetsu Deinonychus
Feb 20th, 2008, 12:38 AM
Max, that was utterly horrifying!

It was also bloody brilliant and hilarious, not to mention truthful.

Dark humor at it's finest. Don't ever change!

Zounds
Feb 20th, 2008, 08:14 AM
Ohh man, small internet or what? I'm FROM Union, lived there for 18 years of my life till I fled for college and never looked back. Hmm, can't say I met the dogs in question though, dunno if I'd want to have met the last two at that. Thoughtfully done Max as allways.

Ciao~ Zounds

incognit000
Feb 20th, 2008, 08:15 AM
I never do poodles. They're fucking crazy little murder machines. Funny from a distance, though.

mburbank
Feb 20th, 2008, 09:20 AM
Hey, Zounds!

When did you live there? My Step father was mayor for a while.

Zounds
Feb 20th, 2008, 12:38 PM
Ah, I lived near the Springfield border (near the bridge into Springfield) off of Maris Avenue, on Layton Drive. Honestly I never did keep track of the Mayors of Union, left back in 04 so I was about 18; bit young to care either way I suppose. Any hoo, Small world isn't it? Hell, for all I know we could have walked past each other at some point, that or I pissed you off at one time or another (I'd say that being far more likely.)

Well, best toddle off now, got to get my rump to class.

Aloha, Zounds

Count Mek
Feb 21st, 2008, 08:21 AM
Another great one Max, I don't know much about; used to have a phobia of them.

Magic Flyin' Lemur
Feb 22nd, 2008, 07:57 PM
I believe this story effectively describes the three types of dogs you have in this world. Good, stupid, and annoying.

Let's not forget "psychotic/murderous death machines". That would be a fourth type.

BoMToons
Feb 26th, 2008, 12:53 AM
Dogs are gay.

thecatillaccat
Feb 26th, 2008, 09:09 AM
Felines FTW.
Stupid dogs are the best dogs, though. The rest can suck an egg.

briny bill
Sep 11th, 2008, 01:35 AM
i had a sheba her name was sugar..... great story max