Ask Willie

[executioneer]

someone already answered that one, i thought

[The Leader]

I thought that you could give the best answer 'cause you're Willie. I guess I was wrong.:tear

[Fathom Zero]

Even Willies fail sometimes.

[executioneer]

I MEAN SOMEONE ALREADY GAVE A SIMILAIR ANSWER TO MINE. ALSO I AM TYPING INC APS TONIGHT IF ANYONES GOT A OBJECTION HERE'S THE LEFT SIDE OF MY D*CK YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND TASTE IT

[Sam]

Willie, I wouldn't let a damn MOLECULE of your dick touch me!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Deer Willie,

What would you look like with antlers?

but seriously

Dear Willie,
Has anyone ever not sung the cowboy song while in the cowboy song thread? I havn't seen anything of the sort but I figured if there was it would get modded.

[executioneer]

i'd look like one of the knights who say knee from the monty python :x
uhh yeah i've seen it happen! they don't always get modded though. i also try to put secrats in whenever i post in it, like one time i bolded out certain letters so that it spelt racisms (got caught and edited) and another time i LEFT OUT certain letters and the left out letters spelt racisms (DIDNT GET CAUGHT AFAIK, ALSO LIQUIDSTATIK COPYPASTED IT WHEN HE POSTED A FEW TIMES)

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

Nz1_my6dZ5c?

[executioneer]

here is your answer (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/choccy/)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Why is it that during the coldest of nights women do the mummy roll? Sometimes even the mummy roll, discard, mummy roll redux.
The mummy roll is where you are laying down with a blanket covering both of you. She continues to toss and turn in place until she has the entire blanket rolled around them and you're left freezing in the night. After a while I started keeping a spare blanket above my head or on the side of the bed. Then the mummy roll redux happens: They would mummy roll blanket 1. I would break out blanket 2. They would then discard blanket 1 onto the floor on their side of the bed and mummy roll blanket 2.

[executioneer]

coriolis effect, dude. ladies always rotate clockwise in the northern hemisphere

[kahljorn]

:lol

maybe you should get a bed that can fit three people so she can sleep in the middle then after the mummyrolls your blankets you just switch sides of the bed and she'll mummy rull the blankets right onto you.

I'm sure, with a little mechanical ingenuity, we can even create a more efficient system than this which will make it so you dont have to wake up in the middle of the night.

[Evil Robot]

Have you ever smashed an old TV screen?

[executioneer]

i have smashed an old tv screen with explosions

[executioneer]

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c44/executioneer/616eliwillie.jpg
the antenna from that tv are on the top of my head in this picture

[The Leader]

Dear Willie,

Where have I seen that picture before?

Love- The Leader

[executioneer]

several places on the internet? it's on my webpage for one

[The Leader]

That must be it as I visit your website everyday.

[Pub Lover]

Mister Mobbs, why didn't I believe the Internet's warning that all ladies are crazy? They are so crazy. :sleep

[Evil Robot]

Was that on July 3rd?

[executioneer]

Mister Mobbs, why didn't I believe the Internet's warning that all ladies are crazy? They are so crazy. :sleep
i don't think there's anyone who isn't crazy by someone elses standards, man woman or child

[executioneer]

Was that on July 3rd?
the blowing up of tv? no i think it was just a saturday afternoon

[Evil Robot]

Is this a question?

[executioneer]

could be

[stevetothepast]

how often do you cut your fingernails?

[executioneer]

i don't usually :( i bite em when i get nervous

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

toenails too? Clippers gross me out.

[executioneer]

haha i'm not agile enough to bite my toenails :( i don't really keep track of how often! whenever they start buggin me

[Evil Robot]

Can plants grow under diffused laser light? Like a blue and a red laser instead of a florescent grow light?

[executioneer]

pretty sure they can!

http://www.actahort.org/members/showpdf?booknrarnr=580_22

[Evil Robot]

Yeah I read that, but it's the only article ever written on the subject that I can find. I want to verify his findings, though, with "better" plants.

[executioneer]

hahaha you could hide a grow operation in one of those laser domes, i bet they grow real well if you play laser floyd at them 24/7

[elx]

willie, who is james? :(

[executioneer]

well there used to be a guy who posted here named jamesman who shortened his name to james and then had a spazz out and erased a lot of his posts and moved to somethingawful's forums, but i'm not sure if that's who you're talking about!

[Supafly345]

Are you really going to lose weight?

[executioneer]

i may have already lost some!

[stevetothepast]

Are you looking forward to christmas willie?

[executioneer]

i never get what i want but yes still kind of!

[Shrubfest]

Willie, what should I do about the fact that I've had staff at my university make offical complaints about my attitude?
Also, the guy I think I'm in love with is still being massively dicked about by his psycho ex-girlfriend. Help on either problem?

[Sam]

Dear Shrubfest, don't worry, my psycho ex-girlfriend won't be a problem much longer. ;)

[executioneer]

Willie, what should I do about the fact that I've had staff at my university make offical complaints about my attitude?
Also, the guy I think I'm in love with is still being massively dicked about by his psycho ex-girlfriend. Help on either problem?
try to trick the psycho ex-girlfriend into harassing the uni staff instead? that or maybe throw a brick at her, this should improve your attitude so nobody complains about it anymore

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:2birds1brick

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

I think a samoyed would be perfect for you. They're always happy and very active! What do you think?

[Supafly345]

In an earlier question I asked if you were going to lose weight while I was drunk, and it was a question of remorse; drunk again I ask if you will still be the same old willie without fat. Fat willie is the only willie I've known.

[executioneer]

In an earlier question I asked if you were going to lose weight while I was drunk, and it was a question of remorse; drunk again I ask if you will still be the same old willie without fat. Fat willie is the only willie I've known.
i hope the fuck not :( I HOPE I WILL BE BETTER

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

I think a samoyed would be perfect for you. They're always happy and very active! What do you think?
they need a lot of attention though :( plus atm i'm living in a place that doesn't allow dogs over 20lbs

[executioneer]

ALSO LONG HAIR DOGS TAKE A LOT OF WORK BRUSHING + VACUUMING UP AND I AM LAZY

[Zhukov]

Willie, is the gift I sent for Secret Santa going to arrive before December 22 or am I going to get banned?

[executioneer]

i don't think you'll even get in trouble unless it doesn't arrive until after christmas proper. plus you can keep/photograph the returned package as proof of good faith or somesuch, i suppose

[executioneer]

SHORT ANSWER: PROBABLY NOT

[Zhukov]

I don't know, the mods are known for their Draconian measures on these things.

[executioneer]

well I'M not gonna ban you, how's that

[MLE]

(I won't ban you either)

[Evil Robot]

what does it take for the playa to get respect?

[executioneer]

dolla billz and acting like a man

[Supafly345]

Is shambrain right for me?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Is shambrain like a lobotomy with Shamwow?

[executioneer]

it's like getting a scalp massage... from Lucifer

[stevetothepast]

Have you seen any good films lately willie?

[executioneer]

nope

[The Leader]

Dear Willie,

Why did you ignore Supfly345's question?

Love, The Leader

[executioneer]

who said i did! i can answer two questions with one answer ;(

[stevetothepast]

Dear Mr Willie, how did santa treat you? Did you get any nice gifts?

[executioneer]

I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

[stevetothepast]

:tear

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

How is your weather?

[executioneer]

it's pretty clear today, yesterday there was frozen rain and i had to scrape it off my car windows before i could drive anywhere

[Evil Robot]

If I die in I-Mockery, do I die in real life? Like in lawnmower man?

[executioneer]

if you die in i-mockery you go back into your body unless your silver cord got cut by a githyanki or some shit

[Darryl]

Hi Willie, is your job situation secure? You said it was all set last week, but I just wanted to be sure.
And, what game is your avatar pic thing from?

[executioneer]

yeah my job is secure (i guess). i can't post from work unless i use my phoneternet though and that's kind of a pain because i work underground :(

and my av is from star control 2, one of the bestest space exploration games ever

[Evil Robot]

i work underground :( ?




The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 2 characters.

[The Leader]

NORAD

[executioneer]

the mailroom is in the basement :(

[executioneer]

"it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me" w. ferrel as b. elf

[Grislygus]

willie





why do stupid american people like fake wheat beers

on a related note, why hasnt the good merciful jesus man destroyed widmer brothers

[executioneer]

man i dont know i dont really like any beer v. much :( and the jesus man is probably going to let them get all full of themselves before he pulls the rug out

[Shrubfest]

Willie, why does my digestive system hate me?

[executioneer]

because it secretly wants to digest YOU :eek

[Shrubfest]

Bugger. I had always fear this was the case. What can I do to show it who's boss?

[Grislygus]

WILLIE


Al Stewart's "Year of the Cat"- Good song to play while committing a brutal murder, or best song to play while committing a brutal murder?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Do you think Snowmageddon is overkill on terms?

[executioneer]

Bugger. I had always fear this was the case. What can I do to show it who's boss?
PUNCH IT

[executioneer]

WILLIE


Al Stewart's "Year of the Cat"- Good song to play while committing a brutal murder, or best song to play while committing a brutal murder?
its pretty good, but really any song sounds better whilst murdering so i'm not sure

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Do you think Snowmageddon is overkill on terms?
oh EVERYTHING is an ageddon of some sort these days :rolleyes way to dilute an almost-suffix, guys

[Pentegarn]

I just had ricemageddon when I ate a cup of rice for dinner.

EDIT: That wasn't a question though, so my question for Willie is: What should I have had with my ricemageddon?

[executioneer]

general tso's chickenpocalypse

[executioneer]

or maybe some broccoli beeferdammerung

[executioneer]

sweet and sour porknarok?

[executioneer]

salt and pepper prawnaclysm?

[Pentegarn]

Sweet and sour porknarok is my new favorite food

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

general tso's chickenpocalypse

GIVES YOU THE RUNS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.

[stevetothepast]

general tso's chickenpocalypse


ILAT

[Evil Robot]

woonsocket rhode island?

[executioneer]

*dumps bucket of water on rhode island*

[Evil Robot]

give me back that fillet o fish
give me that fish
give me back that fillet o fish
give me that fish
what if it were you hanging up on this wall?

[Zhukov]

or maybe some broccoli beeferdammerung
:lol

[bigtimecow]

willie

is my mid semester critique gonna go okay

[executioneer]

give me back that fillet o fish
give me that fish
give me back that fillet o fish
give me that fish
what if it were you hanging up on this wall?
i'd be more concerned about getting down than a fillet o fish :( but i guess i'd take what i could get

[executioneer]

willie

is my mid semester critique gonna go okay
i think it'll be ok but not great, maybe as good as good

[Evil Robot]

"The proof is in the pudding" WTF, why is it there?

[executioneer]

i blame some fat kid

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Did my doc mock picture win the contest?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Is the Coolinator a real person?

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Did my doc mock picture win the contest?
idk!

Dear Willie,

Is the Coolinator a real person?
i dunno i'd have to do a voight-kampff test to be really sure

[Fathom Zero]

Willie,

Why did you lock that thread? I wanted to do the comedys.

[executioneer]

i locked it because of it being three years old when it was bumped and it didnt look like it was going anywhere good :( sry

[The Leader]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and you see a tortoise, Willie. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and flip the tortoise on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Willie?

[Dimnos]

Willie, do you like turtle soup?

[TheCoolinator]

Willie,

Is Jem from that cartoon show really truly outrageous ? Because I won't lie.....I'm a bit skeptical....:(

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8a/Jem_Cartoon.jpg

[executioneer]

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and you see a tortoise, Willie. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and flip the tortoise on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Willie?
i am jealous of the tortoise's fucker of a long lifespan >: LIVE 150 YEARS ON YOUR BACK, MOTHERFUCKER

[executioneer]

Willie, do you like turtle soup?
i've never had it but i hear that it's good!

[executioneer]

Willie,

Is Jem from that cartoon show really truly outrageous ? Because I won't lie.....I'm a bit skeptical....:(
excuse me but this is ask willie the thread not ask michael ian black the thread

[Supafly345]

What clever pop culture references would be funny to ask you ironically for full comedic effect Willie?

[executioneer]

maybe something about transformers that join together to form one big transformer, i love those!

[Supafly345]

Are transformers really robots in disguise? Because I won't lie, I can't disguise my skepticism. :(

[executioneer]

*makes the transformer noise with his mouth while mugging at the camera/doing a little dance for two minutes*

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

off course ElPila666 it is not the same ... off course reading is good ... but sometimes people get tired or boring....

Did a robot replace ElPilla ?

[executioneer]

i do not believe this to be correct, end of line

[Evil Robot]

What has John Locke become?

[bigtimecow]

HE'S DEAD

[Grislygus]

WILLIE AM I A FUNGI

CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE A FUN GUY, BUT I WOULD BE OKAY WITH BEING A COOL GUY

[executioneer]

What has John Locke become?
he died in 1704 according to wikipedia, so he's probably been recycled thru several million organisms by now

[executioneer]

WILLIE AM I A FUNGI

CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE A FUN GUY, BUT I WOULD BE OKAY WITH BEING A COOL GUY
are fun and cool mutually exclusive now :( PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHOICE >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Why is there a T-Rex in here?
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825203106/Batman/images/2/2f/Battle_For_The_Cowl.jpg


http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825203106/Batman/images/2/2f/Battle_For_The_Cowl.jpg

[Sam]

THE DINOSAUR IS FROM DINOSAUR ISLAND :(

[executioneer]

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1690

THERES YOUR ANSWER
ULTIMATE UNDERSTANDING OF BATMAN

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol Oh man.

[TheCoolinator]

Willie,

Are you on the doc mock show?

[Pentegarn]

Willie,

How bad will it be for Coolinator for asking you that?

[Evil Robot]

You know the type of double glass doors that retail stores and 7-11 and shit like that have? Why is it that some places leave one door locked and not make it obvious which one it is by putting stuff in front of it? Why do they make people guess? I've even seen places that change it up to confuse people. It's sick that's what it is its a sick fucking joke to them isn't it?

PS I'm not referring to the doors that have the levers at the top and bottom those are a pain in the ass to unlock I'm talking about the one with an easy little thing that flips.

[Colonel Flagg]

Hi Willie.

Why do I wait so fucking long every year to file my income taxes?

[executioneer]

Willie,

Are you on the doc mock show?
i think you have to live in / visit LA to do that, and since i'm from the northwest it'd be difficult

MAYBE IF THEY DO A COMICON SPECIAL >:

[executioneer]

Willie,

How bad will it be for Coolinator for asking you that?
THINGS WILL NOT CHANGE

[executioneer]

You know the type of double glass doors that retail stores and 7-11 and shit like that have? Why is it that some places leave one door locked and not make it obvious which one it is by putting stuff in front of it? Why do they make people guess? I've even seen places that change it up to confuse people. It's sick that's what it is its a sick fucking joke to them isn't it?

PS I'm not referring to the doors that have the levers at the top and bottom those are a pain in the ass to unlock I'm talking about the one with an easy little thing that flips.
some of them it's probably a joke, yeah

the ones who aren't just dumb and forget to make it obvious

I bet a lot of the time it STARTS OUT they forget, and then something funny happens so they start doing it on purpose

[executioneer]

Hi Willie.

Why do I wait so fucking long every year to file my income taxes?
because IRS stands for INFERNAL REALM OF SATAN

[Babs]

Willie, why do bands like Puddle of Mudd and Nickleback exist?

[TheCoolinator]

Willie, why do bands like Puddle of Mudd and Nickleback exist?

Good Question :rock

[executioneer]

Willie, why do bands like Puddle of Mudd and Nickleback exist?

so people know who to punch in the d*ck

[Colonel Flagg]

Willie, why the f**k can't that volcano go erupt somewhere else? >:>:>:>:>:>:>::explode

[Fathom Zero]

Yeah, it's fucking up all the science.

[Evil Robot]

Willie
I am currently off the rails on some kind of crazy train. Should I notify the Department of Transportation?

[Kitsa]

Dear Willie,

How is the facebook-family scenario best handled?

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

How now, brown cow?

[Tadao]

Sir William,

Wanna go to my wedding in Hawaii?

[Fathom Zero]

Willie,

Can I go to Tadao's wedding in Hawaii?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

skA Willie,

Pick it up?

[TheCoolinator]

Willie,

What should be done about the economy? :posh

And please respond promptly I have many assets to trade on the market and they aren't going to trade themselves.....Hmph!

[bigtimecow]

WILLIE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS

[Dimnos]

WILLIE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS

http://tcnwag.blu.livefilestore.com/y1pLJUVDHM1QVkY2kwXYqnOzohKVueaAk5OehknFmZ9s6aiieW azBgq_RFZGVkZ8mJVTIafb8ozAtyvqWp4LWcUFvgQ3JoF2Zow/roastbeef.jpg


:tear

[Esuohlim]

WILLIE,

[Tadao]

WILLIAM P. WENDELGRASS THE THIRD! GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN HERE AND FINISH YOUR WORK.

[executioneer]

Willie, why the f**k can't that volcano go erupt somewhere else? >:>:>:>:>:>:>::explode
i blame spaceghost :knifinaround

[executioneer]

Willie
I am currently off the rails on some kind of crazy train. Should I notify the Department of Transportation?
only if it looks like the train's not going to go off a cliff, if it does you should try jumping out of it at the last minute first and THEN call

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

How is the facebook-family scenario best handled?
post stuff you don't want your family to read on twitter

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

How now, brown cow?
man i hope that cow is brown because of chocolate

[executioneer]

Sir William,

Wanna go to my wedding in Hawaii?
i dont think i can afford it :(

[executioneer]

Willie,

Can I go to Tadao's wedding in Hawaii?
yeah and you should ride there on two sharks, really make a dramatic entrance

[executioneer]

skA Willie,

Pick it up?
this thread doesn't have a big enough horn section to play ska :/

[executioneer]

Willie,

What should be done about the economy? :posh

And please respond promptly I have many assets to trade on the market and they aren't going to trade themselves.....Hmph!
legalize weed and prostitution

[executioneer]

WILLIE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS
I WAS TOO BUSY PARTYING

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:( I play trombone....

Willie,

How is your head feeling today?

[executioneer]

cold :goingbald

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:BLOODBROTHERS

[TheCoolinator]

cold :goingbald

Willie,

Do you think a console that was dedicated to retro-gaming work in todays market?

Meaning new games would be developed for this console but in a retro format ala Contra, megaman, and earthworm jim.

[executioneer]

do you mean the nintendo ds

[Shrubfest]

Dear Willie
Have I made a horrible mistake voting Tadao for king? Will my inbox now be filled with PM's for TITS OR GTFO, with real life mod threats involved?

Thanks.
Love Shrub.

[Tadao]

Willie,

Is that allowed? :o

[TheCoolinator]

do you mean the nintendo ds

Yes,

But not a handheld.....a home console.

[Zhukov]

Just leave it now.

[executioneer]

Dear Willie
Have I made a horrible mistake voting Tadao for king? Will my inbox now be filled with PM's for TITS OR GTFO, with real life mod threats involved?

Thanks.
Love Shrub.
you don't vote for kings! :montypython

[executioneer]

Willie,

Is that allowed? :o
i don't think anything is "allowed", really

[executioneer]

Yes,

But not a handheld.....a home console.
they have those things shaped like joysticks that you plug into a tv that have ten games or whatever built into them

apart from that and the ds, no i don't think it's a viable idea. you could always build yourself a MAME cabinet that also emulated snes/genesis/whatever console you're looking for, though

[Evil Robot]

Is fluoride bad for people?

[executioneer]

yes, but only if it's turned into hydrofluoric acid, then it is REALLY fucking bad

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

What will happen at the end of lost?

[Kitsa]

Dear Willie,

Were you driving a rusty El Camino in rush hour traffic in Columbus on Tuesday?

[Fathom Zero]

Willie,

I just ate from a taco stand. Am I gonna get diarrhea?

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

What will happen at the end of lost?
bob denver and alan hale jr are gonna show up

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Were you driving a rusty El Camino in rush hour traffic in Columbus on Tuesday?
nope! i was at work

[executioneer]

Willie,

I just ate from a taco stand. Am I gonna get diarrhea?
you'd better hope so, not having diarrhea is a sign of an unhealthy diet i hear

[Zhukov]

Dear Willie,

Does the hot girl at work talk to me because she thinks I am gay and therefore not threatening?

[Grislygus]

Dear Willie,

Considering that the cops in the film are convinced that the sudden appearance of several mauled and half-eaten corpses was obviously the work of Islamic terrorists, why do horror fans take Wolfen seriously? (Besides the fact that Albert Finney is awesome).

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Does the hot girl at work talk to me because she thinks I am gay and therefore not threatening?
maybe, have you tried being more threatening to see if she talks to you less

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Considering that the cops in the film are convinced that the sudden appearance of several mauled and half-eaten corpses was obviously the work of Islamic terrorists, why do horror fans take Wolfen seriously? (Besides the fact that Albert Finney is awesome).
wait are you saying islam doesn't encourage cannibalism, i don't get it

[Pentegarn]

Dear Willie,

When will the goddamn Cleveland Sports Curse that has hung around that city's neck like an albatross finally be lifted?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

bob denver and alan hale jr are gonna show up


They're ending the show with a three hour marathon. :lol

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

When will the goddamn Cleveland Sports Curse that has hung around that city's neck like an albatross finally be lifted?

when all the pro teams leave

[stevetothepast]

dear willie wanna recommend a book?

[Evil Robot]

#E%gy hop wmany timwes am I akkowed bacj ?

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
I've always thought of you as like some Magic 8-ball god.
Once more I seek your wisdom.
Should I keep going straight on this road or should I take a right pretty soon?

[Colonel Flagg]

Dear Willie:

Should I verbally castrate that flaming asswipe, or should I clam up and hope nature takes the correct course?

PS - Hi Dix! Hope your "bite" is all better.

[Shrubfest]

Willie, has my bf noticed I've broken up with him, or was taking all my stuff back and avioding him too subtle?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Willie,

Is Shrub on the market?

Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?

[Dixie]

it's nothing but a large pink scar now. no more antibiotic pills ever.

[Pentegarn]

Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?

Willie,

Should I just go ahead and tell 10k the answer to this is Sho'Nuff?

[Evil Robot]

Is Nagle's algorithim worth running, or is it just bullshit? I disabled it in the registry so the PS3 will have less latency but I wonder if explorer is trying to send tiny packets. BTW I connect through a tethered IPhone.

[Kitsa]

Willie,

What does a "chicken fart" candle really smell like, and should I regret not buying one?

[MLE]

Dear willie,

Are you going to come back? :<

[Evil Robot]

Williw,
Are you in jail right now?

[executioneer]

dear willie wanna recommend a book?
"flow my tears the policeman said" by phil dick, idk

[executioneer]

#E%gy hop wmany timwes am I akkowed bacj ?
as many as you think you can get away with, once you are sure it'll be the last it will be

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,
I've always thought of you as like some Magic 8-ball god.
Once more I seek your wisdom.
Should I keep going straight on this road or should I take a right pretty soon?
i think you should ENTER and GO NORTH

[executioneer]

Dear Willie:

Should I verbally castrate that flaming asswipe, or should I clam up and hope nature takes the correct course?

PS - Hi Dix! Hope your "bite" is all better.
i'm sorry i got lost in the imagery of your question, i'm picturing a dude who can emit a cutting force from his mouth shooting beams at a burning anthropomorphic roll of toilet paper's weiner

and also a big ol clam

[executioneer]

Willie, has my bf noticed I've broken up with him, or was taking all my stuff back and avioding him too subtle?
most folks are pretty perceptive when it comes to that sort of thing, but i don't wanna give him too much credit. maybe hire a singing telegram to be sure

[executioneer]

Willie,

Is Shrub on the market?

Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?
is this the market i can't go into because i'm terrified of it, even to use the atm

then.. wait my metaphor fell apart

fuck

maybe?

to your other question, yes doctor who is pretty great

[executioneer]

Willie,

Should I just go ahead and tell 10k the answer to this is Sho'Nuff?
is that what the answer was :(

[executioneer]

Is Nagle's algorithim worth running, or is it just bullshit? I disabled it in the registry so the PS3 will have less latency but I wonder if explorer is trying to send tiny packets. BTW I connect through a tethered IPhone.
man i dont know that shit :( i can barely set up a wireless network these days

[executioneer]

Willie,

What does a "chicken fart" candle really smell like, and should I regret not buying one?
if you regret stuff you DON'T do you're gonna get decision paralysis because you can't do EVERYTHING

only regret stuff you actually do

also the candle probably doesn't really smell as bad as chicken feces does

[executioneer]

Dear willie,

Are you going to come back? :<
i don't know :( been having difficulty adjusting to situations lately

[executioneer]

Williw,
Are you in jail right now?
i WISH

[Kitsa]

if you regret stuff you DON'T do you're gonna get decision paralysis because you can't do EVERYTHING

only regret stuff you actually do

also the candle probably doesn't really smell as bad as chicken feces does

that was pretty deep. :\ The regret part, not the chicken feces part.

[executioneer]

it was an accident i swear :(

[Pentegarn]

Dear Willie,

Don't you know there are no accidents, and that your wisdom comes from within?

[Kitsa]

Dear Willie,

Why are those Renaissance Faires always at the end of the summer, which would be the hottest and most miserable time to wear fake medieval attire?

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Don't you know there are no accidents, and that your wisdom comes from within?
nope

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Why are those Renaissance Faires always at the end of the summer, which would be the hottest and most miserable time to wear fake medieval attire?
i dunno, maybe nerds are only comfortable around other nerds when they're all drenched in sweat

it'd explain san diego comic-con, anyways

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

I heard you are NOT going to SAN DIEGO. How long and what days are you NOT going to be there?

[executioneer]

well i am NOT registered for saturday, and i am NOT planning to be in and around town for the whole weekend despite NOT NOT being registered for other days

also i am NOT driving down so i am NOT planning on visiting other locations on the way down and back

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

We should NEVER find a karaoke bar and NOT drink at the bars that WON'T be there.

[executioneer]

i strongly DISagree

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I also wish you WERE asleep. That way we could NOT go into further detail about what ISN'T happeneing EVER.

[executioneer]

uhh what

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't even know anymore. Too many contra-positives. Need sleep.

[Evil Robot]

look room <return>
walk table <return>
look table <return>

[executioneer]

> you are in a pristine operating room. in the middle of the room there is a metal operating table, with several bright lights shining onto it from the ceiling.

> you walk over to the table.

> on the table you see:
a scalpel
a small pool of blood
a piece of paper

[Pentegarn]

Dear Willie,

Should I hit troll with sword? And if so, should I then put sword into trophy case?

[executioneer]

yes but wait a while the sword might come in useful elsewhere

[Evil Robot]

get in small pool of blood <return>

[executioneer]

> you sit down in the small pool of blood. you accidentally sit on the scalpel, too, cutting a small gash in your backside. now you have AIDS.

[Zhukov]

Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?

[Pentegarn]

Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?

:lol

I was thinking of asking this and didn't

[Colonel Flagg]

I was going to drink the blood - boy I'm glad I refrained from playing. :whew

[Evil Robot]

get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?
no but it will give annoying status messages every 100 turns or so "you feel your AIDS getting worse!"

[executioneer]

get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>

> You pull the scalpel out from under your backside, dramatically worsening your gash. (We would like to apologize for putting the term "worsening your gash" in this game.)

> As you attempt to perform painful elective surgery on yourself, the scalpel slips out of your hand. Whoopsy-daisy!

> You look around for the piece of paper for a second, and realize you're sitting on that, too. As you tug on it, it tears in half, leaving the other half still under your bottom.

> You've already got that!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

Did you find a costume?

[executioneer]

no

i think i'm gonna go as the incredible screaming man, i'm gonna scream at everyone i see

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That sounds terrifying. I can't wait.

[executioneer]

that is assuming of course the half-assed juggernaut costume i'm working on looks like absolute shit when i'm finished

or assuming i'm quite drunk

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

All you need is a refurbished gem of cyttorok. Sure you cna find one laying around in a flea market or a seaside cove in the area.

[executioneer]

i'll check craigslist

[Grislygus]

dearest william

WHERE YOU AT DAWG


WHERE YOU AT

[executioneer]

still over 310 :(

[Evil Robot]

Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>

[kahljorn]

if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?

[executioneer]

Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>
> (getting up first)
You make like Uncle Joey and Cut. It. Out. You are now sans buttock. Opps, you dropped the scalpel again! Lousy slippery blood.

> You peer intently at the paper, looking for a recipe for an AIDS cure. Hmm, seems to be swirling around a lot, but you don't see any writing on it.

You are feeling light headed from blood loss.

[executioneer]

if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?
hell if i get someone to go with me we could drive-by egg them

[kahljorn]

I'd do it :( i was already trying to think of ways to harass them

[executioneer]

actually i bought 50 boxes of conversation hearts at the going out of business dollar store for $2, anyone want to fight hatred with the power of love