guys i just thought up this joke

[Black Flag]

why did the prague trampoline store go out of business?















because they kept bouncing Czechs!

[executioneer]

hahahah :(

[Grislygus]

I can't really handle how awesome that joke is

[Guitar Woman]

A+ thread, son.

[pac-man]

WAKA WAKA WAKA

[Studio8]

i just used it on stage and won comedy contest

[dj bastard]

i just used it on stage and won comedy contest

dont humour him, he may post again.

[Black Flag]

willie did you really laugh at my joke because if so this joke is a 100% success

[Esuohlim]

But wait wouldn't that mean that the store is actually successful :( :( :(

[executioneer]

not OUT LOUD, but yeah i thought that was a good one

[Angryhydralisk]

I gots one.

Why Don't chickens have ears?

Because they live at Tyson Farms.

[McClain]

What did the Mexican student say when he was attacked by a pop quiz?

Get off me, essay!

[Lobo Tommy]

Ok, so a guy entered a pun contest. He sent in ten puns in the hope of winning. But no pun in ten did! Plus, he has heart problems.

[Schimid]

Wanna go hunt for giant squids?

Nautilus I have to!

[dj bastard]

Why do all anarchists drink herbal tea.
Because all proper-tea is theft.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Fish swims into a wall and says "Dam".

[Guitar Woman]

A pirate walks into a bar with a large ship's wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender asks the pirate, "Hey, is that thing bothering you?" And the pirate replies, "Yarr, it's drivin me nuts!"

[JediScum]

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell
you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of Chardonnay..."

[ElPila666]

lol, this thread is hillarious

[dj bastard]

Why couldnt the lifeguard save the hippy. ?

He was too far out man.

[pac-man]

Two cows are standing in a pasture. One asks the other, "Are you worried about this outbreak of mad cow disease?" The other replies, "No, it doesn't worry me at all. I'm a horse."

[Black Flag]

how many of you guys actually thought of your jokes yourself?

also, mine is still the best

[Guitar Woman]

Why couldnt the lifeguard save the hippy. ?

He was too far out man.
I really like this one

[pac-man]

You either beat this guy by 6 hours, he ripped you off, or it wasn't that original a pun. Or he's you. :\

http://truthandbeautybombs.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=15398&sid=c9b2990ca2a8b6c08293c649e4ee5db0

[Guitar Woman]

I've never heard of saying something someone else said on the internet. That is crazy talk.

[pac-man]

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/3461/plagiarismo4do.jpg

"Okay, maybe my dad did steal Itchy, but so what?! Animation is built on plagiarism! If it weren't for someone plagiarizing The Honeymooners, we wouldn't have The Flintstones! If someone hadn't ripped off Sgt. Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat! Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear… Andy Griffith, Edward G. Robinson, Art Carney! Your honor, if you take away our right to steal ideas, where are they gonna come from?"

[dj bastard]

Whats the difference between a hippy and a trampoline. ?

You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

i stole that one.

[Guitar Woman]

as a new age retro hippie I take offense to that

[pac-man]

A guy gets a vasectomy and immediately buys the most expensive suit he can find. When his friends asked why he responded, "If I'm gonna be impotent, I gotta look impotent."

[dj bastard]

Sorry gw, but i am allowed to mock my own kind.
Its just a joke.

[Lobo Tommy]

as a new age retro hippie I take offense to that

I sense an Earthbound reference.

[Guitar Woman]

No way.

[dj bastard]

Q: What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

A: Hockey players shower after three periods.

[dj bastard]

Whaddaya call a hippy in a shower room. ?

Lost.

[Trash]

HOW'DYA HIDE SOMETHING FROM A HIPPY?

PUT IT UNDER THE SOAP :D:D:D:D

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Q: What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

A: Hockey players shower after three periods.


I think that's one of the more fouler jokes I've ever heard without the gross out factor involved.

[dj bastard]

How about........
Definition of a used tampon.....

A vampires tea bag.

[dj bastard]

Old lady doing 150mph on the motorway, the cops see her and give chase but despite the sirens and lights she refuses to stop.
Eventually they come to a red light, where she stops and the cops block her way.

When approached the old lady screams at the cop " you bastard son of a bitch, come any closer and i'll take out my gun and kill you like i did with the motherfucker in the boot".
Fearing for his safety the cop returns to his car and calls his supervisor whom attends the scene.

Oh approaching the old lady, now appearing very sheepish and nervous, he asks her whats wrong.

Nothing officer she replies, i dont know why i was stopped.

Well says the super, my officer says you verbally abused him and he has reason to believe you are armed, he also suspects you may have commited murder and have a body in you boot.

The old lady replies.....
He'll be telling you i was speeding next.....!

Was told that by a friend a few weeks back.

[Black Flag]

pac-man that's me :x

[executioneer]

yeah the "erie, pa" in both their locations should have been a dead giveaway

[pac-man]

I edited it after a second look to add the "Or he's you" part. I didn't notice at first. It's a good joke, and when I plagiarize it down the road, I'll give you credit.

[ElPila666]

Ok my turn...

A guy enters a supermarket and he starts to watch under the food shelves, so he bends down, then an employee appears and ask him: hey sir what are you doing?
and the guy says: i'm searching the low prices

:(

[ElPila666]

what about this one....

The universal studios are on fire then suddenly the firemen appears and starts to calmdown the fire but a man started to scream for help on the building roof, but all the firemen crew are very scared except Marianito, the gay one, so he enters the building, after an hour the flames got extinwish but marianito haven't return with the guy, so the firemen are really worried and they decided to check, so they reach the top of the building and they see Marianito fucking this guy and they're surprise about it, so one of the firemen ask him: Hey what are you doing? why didn't you give him breathing mouth to mouth assistance?
and marianito says: well that's how we started though

:(

[Sethomas]

Lately I've taken to appropriating very cliché offensive jokes by repeating them with a punchline that doesn't operate by actual humor, it just throw off the audience by being offensive in a different light and they weren't expecting it. It really only works when the audience knows the actual punchline, but even so they're usually obvious from the direction of the jokes.

What do you call a black man with two masters degrees and a PhD?
-An Affirmative Action mooch!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
-A pizza has never instigated a brutal cultural apartheid against the Palestinians!

One day a priest was hearing confessions and all of a sudden he got an emergency phone call and had to leave. He didn't want to leave his parishioners without a chance to say confession, so he grabbed a visitor to the area and asked him to stand in behind the confession screen. The man obliged and the priest gave him a list of common penances for common sins. This went well for three confessions, but the fourth confessor said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. I performed a blowjob on a married man." Because oral sex was not on the list, the man excused himself for a moment and in a frantic panic asked an altar boy what the priest usually gives for a blowjob. The altar boy said, "Well, usually three Hail Mary's and an Our Father, but that's just because he's really old and too out of touch with reality to know what that means."

[MLE]

The best joke in this thread, BlackFlag and Sethomas aside, is the fact that ElPila took GW's old picture as an avatar.