farting at work

[glowbelly]

who else does it?

i mean

how many of you weirdos do this?

[Tadao]

What? I cover it with a cough.

[bigtimecow]

i fart ALL the time

[executioneer]

i'm farting right now

[Mockery]

Girls don't fart, they expel glitter and sprinkles.

[MattJack]

Girls don't fart, they expel glitter and sprinkles.

Amen brother :hulkhogan

Growing up there were five guys in the house (three brothers, dad, and a male family dog), and my mother was the only female. She never farted, ever. In fact she use to tell us, "Girls can't do that, we don't pass gas."

I believed this communist propaganda until I was 11 years old. My world came crashing down one day when a girl farted on me during recess :(

Mother and I still have a rocky relationship.

[Sethomas]

Beyond my whole INTERNET AURA of being whatever, the word "fart" is something I'm actually IRL averse to using. I'm not even sure why. Basically the only time I mention it is when I woo girls at parties by singing the oldest English song with the original melody preserved, since at one point it goes "Bulle sterteth, Bucke verteth, murie sing cuccoo!" and then I translate to Modern English, "the bull leaps, the stag farts, sing merrily coocoo!"

Based on the last relationship this landed me with, I'm not sure if I should keep doing that.

[Zomboid]

I fart all the time at work. But that doesn't mean a whole lot considering where I work.

[Tadao]

or that it's in Canada

[Nick]

I'd rather believe that girls have no bodily functions.

[pac-man]

I used to fart at my last job. Now that I'm unemployed, I still do. Girls do fart, and I know this because unlike MattJack, my mother never bothered to hide her flatulence. My girlfriend doesn't fart when she's around me, but I'm sure she does. Everybody poops.

[Dixie]

I used to enjoy farting in elevators in government buildings. 10 AM was great.
The Metro was fun too.
Now if I can help it I keep it down to when I pass annoying people in restaurants and in lines waiting to pay for something.

[Tadao]

Man, I'm gonna be on the metro a lot :fart:(

[sloth]

my office is pretty polite. i dont know what happened though - maybe one of the CEOs started it, and it just snowballed - but man, the toilets. anything goes. as soon as that door closes, its like all colonic decorum breezes away like a guff in the wind. dont get me wrong, im glad that people feel comfortable - but how am i supposed to work with these people after hearing them take no prisoners 5 minutes ago? they should do what they do in japan and have the sound of flushing toilets looping constantly to protect everyone's dignity.

[Blue Fox]

i love working at a retaurant. its like the place to go if you wanna do that kind of stuff.

being a busser was the best, cause you just walk past a table and keep going and no one even sees you, cause no one likes to pay attention to bussers.

once i got promoted to to-go, i realized how good i'd had it...

[EisigerBiskuit]

they can't smell farts over the fryer grease so who cares

[LordSappington]

This is why I love these forums.
Also, I swear I heard a kid lose his colon at summer school the other day. The quickest way to ruin your day is walking into the bathroom, finally get good and relaxed, then hear this huge grunt noise and what sounds like pudding and a brick splash EVERYWHERE

[Guitar Woman]

I frequently arrive at my school to find the bathroom smelling like pot and rancid shit.

Protip: This is a bad combination.

[wobzire]

I'm at work at SEVEN A.M. on SUNDAY. If I want to shit myself the boss better damn well nod his head approvingly!

[MetalMilitia]

I wouldn't dream of farting at work.

[glowbelly]

who would?

[Colonel Flagg]

This is why I love these forums.
Also, I swear I heard a kid lose his colon at summer school the other day. The quickest way to ruin your day is walking into the bathroom, finally get good and relaxed, then hear this huge grunt noise and what sounds like pudding and a brick splash EVERYWHERE

:lol

I HATE it when that happens!

[LordSappington]

I don't want to meet the man who doesn't

[HellBeast]

I fart next to ppl and then tell them i did it. unless its a boss or something. then i let some1 else take the blame by giving some1 just the right looks to indicate that they are responsible

[Zomboid]

rly? im surprised more ppl dont get mad @ u. i wud if some1 did that 2 me.

[Tadao]

4sure

[darkvare]

we used to had contests at work but the boss told my dad and it was the end of it :(

[Pentegarn]

I work in a box truck by myself for 10 hours a day, so the only person who notices it is me, unless I am with a customer. I try not to fart on/in front of customers though. That's just good customer service ;)

[Dr. Boogie]

we used to had contests at work but the boss told my dad and it was the end of it :(

Your dad told you to stop farting at work?

[Blue Fox]

my dad, sadly, encourages me. I hope i don't end up scarred or something thanks to him...

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

I work from home...usually in my underwear. I don't fart much though.
My grandfather once told me that once you reach a certain age, you should never trust a fart.

In English class, Johnny was sitting in his desk with an confused look on his face and his arm raised.

"Teacher, do farts have lumps?" He asked. The teacher replies, "No."

"Well then," says Johnny, "I definately just shat myself."

[Sacks]

Once I had a girl sitting on my back giving me a massage and she let one go that sounded like she was ripping apart wet carpet for a good 15 seconds. When she was done she screamed "OH MY GOD" and in her terror she let another one go. It was worse.

[Tadao]

Was she Brazilian?

[Sacks]

No, I may have tolerated it then.

[Tadao]

Was she butt naked and farting directly on your oily back? :wank

[Sacks]

No, I got to feel it get stuck in my t shirt like a hot moist breath and seep onto my lower back.

[Tadao]

One time I was naked with my girl in bed and I turned around and put my but against hers and farted (I called them butt kisses). She puked this time because my fart went up her asshole. I never did that again.

[Sacks]

TOTALLY GRODY BRO

[executioneer]

maybe you should do that with your ex, she might throw up the baby

[wobzire]

uncalled for / AWESOME