View Full Version : Cock block from above.
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:07 AM
I got cock blocked by God. I have faced many a human blocker in my day, but never did I think the almighty would find the time smite me where it really smotes. Long story short, 3 months of happy relationship are now all but over thanks to my girl deciding that she's no longer happy with my confessed agnosticism. God is her number one guy, heart and soul. Whatever I get from here on out is at best His sloppy seconds. All this time she's been calling out another guy's name, when I just thought I was doing good. How the fuck do you match up with the creator? I mean, I'm not chopped liver, but I can't raise the dead and shit. Totally not fair. Anyone else get blocked by a supernatural force or have a good/funny cock blocked story?
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:10 AM
You made me laugh.
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:19 AM
So are you an atheist now?
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:22 AM
Nah. If I were atheist I wouldn't believe that God could blocketh my cocketh.
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:47 AM
You made me laugh.
I'm a funny guy.
Jul 21st, 2008, 02:38 AM
dont push it
Jul 21st, 2008, 03:13 AM
UHH TISS PUSH IT
PUSH IT REAL GOOD
Jul 21st, 2008, 08:22 AM
back with another of those cock blockin beats *electornic music*
Jul 21st, 2008, 01:49 PM
Look at the bright side- God blocked your cock with a "swaying of minds/hearts" instead of his "Fire & Brimstone" shctick.
Jul 21st, 2008, 02:58 PM
Talking to a pursuit just now, I related a story about seeing an affectionate reference to myself in the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section and emailing the mystery person with "hey sorry I have gf now anyways my name is Seth", with the addendum, "There is no worse cockblock than integrity."
10,000 Volt Ghost
Jul 21st, 2008, 09:32 PM
I was expecting you to get cockblocked by Godfrey from the real world.
Jul 23rd, 2008, 01:25 PM
All things considered, you're probably better off.
There are loads of perfectly nice agnostic chicks out there.
Jul 25th, 2008, 03:26 PM
A fire 'n brimstone cock-block sounds painful.
Jul 25th, 2008, 03:34 PM
Better than turning you impotent.
Jul 26th, 2008, 09:23 AM
Every time a girl screams "Oh God" when I'm having sex with her I slap her and say "Tony Danza, bitch!". That's how it works, right?
Jul 29th, 2008, 10:29 PM
I got cock blocked by God.
The clouds will part and the sky cracks open
And God himself will reach his fucking cock through
Just to push you down
Just to hold you down
Aug 4th, 2008, 02:07 PM
Wait, did she yell out God's name in the sack? That would be awkward at best....
Aug 4th, 2008, 04:02 PM
Switch from confessed agnosticism to agnosticism.
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