Breakup Kit

[Hugh_Bristic]

- sad music
- a pair of running shoes
- 1 Mormon friend
- breakfast tacos

The list is short so far but bound to grow if healthy resolve doesn't pan out...

*Also, don't be douches and talk about rope, mace, shovels, nooses, rape kits or the like. You sick fuckers. I'm reaching out.

[kahljorn]

I would add peace and understanding to that list

[pac-man]

pot.

EDIT: and beer.

[MetalMilitia]

A Facebook account so you can change your relationship status to "single".

[executioneer]

would saying "voodoo doll" be taking things too far :(

[Hugh_Bristic]

You're still in good standing, executioneer - but I got my one good eye on you!

As for the rest of you: I don't have a Facebook because I'm a grown ass woman; pot is not an option due to an impending drug test within a month and beer drinking requires too much energy. Peace and understanding is down the road - but for now, I'm okay with wanting to throw her off a roof or tickle her so much her tears of laughter turn into tears of pain and sorrow.

And... thanks for being relatively normal, guys. It's unexpected and very much appreciated.

[Perndog]

I-Mockery message boards to make fun of the situation in a depraved and/or cynical manner.

[Tadao]

Change the lock.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Go with the tickle torture. A pet helps out a lot too, just not a fish.

[Tadao]

I propose that after this post, anyone who posts anything from 50 ways to leave your lover be infracted.

[Hugh_Bristic]

Tadao, I'm pretty sure you're the death of any discussion or helpful thinking. (No offense. [I'd put a winky face if I knew how, to take the edge off.])

I've decided I'm going to train for a marathon. Any marathon. I don't care. I just know I'd rather puke from bein' up at the gym just workin' on my fitness than being sad.

Also, in a few months, when I'm ready again, please send your lady friends to Texas so I can buy them icecream and wash their hair for them.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I think there is a dog the bounty hunter marathon on tonight Hugh. That's a start.

[Tadao]

Wait, I thought this was a request on how you can break up with someone, not what to do after the breakup.

[pac-man]

Okay, no pot, no beer...


How about a boys night out? You don't have to get wasted, but it's always good to try and have some fun despite feeling like you just got kicked in the junk.

[Pub Lover]

Hugh is a sexy lady. :rolleyes

and a lesbo? :eek

[pac-man]

And a Texan, apparently :\

[Fathom Zero]

A Sexton. :orgasm

[pac-man]

Is that a sexy Texan?

[Fathom Zero]

Some would say yes... others no.

[pac-man]

Hmmm..... :scratchchin

[Neen]

What's a Mormon

[pac-man]

http://googlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2006/02/mormon.jpg

[Perndog]

I met a really slutty Mormon girl once. She said it was ok because she only made out and gave handjobs. Of course then she started screwing random guys two months after I met her, so that obviously failed.

Beware slippery slopes!

[sspadowsky]

Hugh, when did you switch teams?

[Hugh_Bristic]

A while back, man. It was going pretty effin' well until I made two major mistakes: I fell too deeply for a 19-year-old who... wait for it... decided, quite unexpectedly, she wasn't gay but confused and said "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be gay." So, it hurts (a lot) but I'm trying to be understanding 'n shit. I still hold out hope for Natalie Portman, Elizabeth Hurley, Penelope Cruz and Monica Bellucci to convert...

[Perndog]

Well, yeah. Warning lights go on as soon as I hear "19-year-old". I rarely expect anyone under 22 (and even that's being generous) to be on firm ground as far as emotional competence and self-awareness go. This is probably even worse for homosexuals because gay teenagers tend to have an extra layer of angst to get over beyond the regular crap.

[Hugh_Bristic]

Agreed. I resisted for a long time because she was so young but eventually my dumb heart beat out my smart brain and I said okay. You should have seen it, though - we were amazing together, and I was content. But it didn't work out. Eventually, I'll be better and ready to get back into the game. (Not saying I'm anywhere near that, now, but I figure if she wasn't "the one," then maybe there's someone better suited for me in the future... who will be grown and firmly planted like an oak tree.)

On a different note - why am I the only openly gay one on this site? No offense but um... well, look at you guys...*







*Joke! Ba-zing!

[kahljorn]

IM OPENLY THINGS

[executioneer]

well he doesnt post here anymore but mew was openly gay i thought

EDIT: OH WHOOPS HE JUST POSTED N/M

[Big McLargehuge]

i found defacing old letters to be soothing

[Tadao]

One time when I was very young and heart broken I put me ex's letters in a metal bowl and lit them on fire in my room. The smoke was bad :x The funny part was when I found out the metal bowl melted the carpet below and I had to cut the bowl out with an exato knife.

[Fathom Zero]

Yeah, there at least a few crossdressing people on here and I don't know what I am and don't care to find out, so meh. I feel incredibly asexual. I guess it's a non-feeling, though.

Maybe it just that angstiness.

[Neen]

I reproduce through fission, so I always carry protection.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm been bi for 11 years now. I hate me some Tila Tequila. I've tried the asexual thing for a while. Boring though.

[Tadao]

Tila Tequila is not bi :/ she's an attention whore.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's why I hate her.

[Zomboid]

I'm been bi for 11 years now. I hate me some Tila Tequila. I've tried the asexual thing for a while. Boring though.
OMG FAG >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

OMG FAG >:


:)

[DevilWearsPrada]

add to list: a bag of dicks

[glowbelly]

hugh, you need hugs. go get them from people who give good ones. i suggest sspadowsky. i know it's kind of a drive, but trust me, gay or straight, it's worth it.

[sspadowsky]

hugh, you need hugs. go get them from people who give good ones. i suggest sspadowsky. i know it's kind of a drive, but trust me, gay or straight, it's worth it.

Glowbaby knows what the fuck she's talking about.

Plus, the cack! I mean, my GOD!

(back me up on this, Karen) ;)

(Oh, and STRAIGHT!)

(Back me up on that too, Karen)

[glowbelly]

OH I'LL BACK YOU UP ON ALL KINDS OF THINGS BABY