Surely one of the best craigslist posts ever:

[Kitsa]

GRAMPA NEEDS A WOMAN! :hypno


Reply to: pers-1038814659@craigslist.org

Date: 2009-02-17, 3:58PM EST

Mature White Nale seeks BBBW/BBWW(Perfer BLACK) 4 LTR 4 Live
Together,Datin,SEX,Children,MARRIAGE!! She Must be BRA & PANTYLESS
24/7 365!! She must LOVE SEX!! If U R PREGNANT oR HAVE KLIDS Fine!!
Heavy or have TATTOS FINE!! If U dont keep house as long as U keep it
tidy & orgnized thats fine!! Must be D&D FREEE & not a
HITTER or a CHEAT!! You must be clean & tidy about your self &
must dress the way I want you too & you must be willin 2 relocate
within the state!!!

Serious WOMEN ONLY PLEASE!!! She MUST DRIVE??? If any GIRL/WOMAN
can..t find ROMANCE because of size or WHATEVER SEND MEB AN e-mail/// t


http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/grandpaneedsawoman.jpg

[mew barios]

he seemed pretty liberal til that part where he doesn't want anyone who ever played dungeons an dragons

[Kitsa]

Picture choice is always interesting to me. This guy is advertising on the "men seeking women" board, and I'm sure he wants to portray himself as being loving and kind to animals, but instead he looks like he's humping a dog.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/doghumper.jpg


Oh god, and my new all-time favorite?

"GOT VALTREX? If u do shoot me an email and we'll see what else we have in common."

[Evil Robot]

Is he trying to ride that trike even though its clearly chained up?

[Kitsa]

If it's his, and we haven't established that, maybe it's chained so he can balance.

[Tadao]

I've never worn suspenders and even I know that's not how you do it.

[WhiteRat]

I got a kick out of this ad:
http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q15/JerkDouglas/blocks.jpg

[pac-man]

he seemed pretty liberal til that part where he doesn't want anyone who ever played dungeons an dragons

:lol I don't think that's what he meant, but find it hilarious that maybe it is.

[Gato]

My god that is epic.

[Kitsa]

This one made me cringe:

A Caring and Loving Daddy for a Daddy'sGirl - m4w - 52 (nw indiana)

Reply to: pers-1043647731@craigslist.org (pers-1043647731@craigslist.org?subject=A%20Caring%20and %20Loving%20Daddy%20for%20a%20Daddy%27sGirl%20-%20m4w%20-%2052%20%28nw%20indiana%29)
Date: 2009-02-20, 8:05PM CST


Explore yourself with me. You will be adored by your Daddy. Do you miss that? Do you want Daddy to makes things all right again? Your Daddy will tell you how wonderful you are, how proud I am of you. That you are talented and can do anything you put your mind to. If you want to be creative and create a new world, this is an opportunity to explore yourself.

I'm classy, upscale gentleman who dresses well, clean, professional, fit, happy, fun, witty, and down to earth. Drives a Lexus. I will play the Daddy that you need.

I am looking for a young lady to be Daddy's Little Girl. I can take you shopping for a new sexy outfit and/or take you to dinner. You can call me Daddy and I will call you anything that makes you feel good. You and I will explore the Daddy-Daughter sexual relationship too. I'll give you whatever you need, help out with expenses, and of course, Daddy's little girl wants to please her Daddy. This should be a personal experience for you.

You: cute, perky and a smile that can melt Daddy’s heart. Please send your Daddy a pic http://images.craigslist.org/3k83m83o2ZZZZZZZZZ92k69ad94135e581f31.jpg

[Tadao]

I bet that is not a vacation photo!

[Kitsa]

That really, really looks like the front garden of the Cleveland Museum of Art. But then it also looks like one of the balconies of the Art Institute of Chicago, which I bet it is, with the lake in the background.

[Evil Robot]

I actually need concrete blocks to build a BBQ but when I found out how much bricks/blocks cost I decided to go with similar sized rocks from the stone wall in the yard.

[Gato]

Ahhhhhhhh!

[Babs]

This is a very disturbing post I found so beware.

Date: 2008-01-27, 9:45PM PST


Hi y'all. So over the past two months, I have been squirting my J/O cum into a plastic milk gallon (jug), it is now FULL!! It sits in my fridge, and I take it out during my nightly sessions, add to the contents and then put it away.

It looks amazing now, and when I pop the lid off, the smell is STRONG.

Is there a woman (or a pair or more!) who would like to play with it?? When I was in Ohio I had a GF with a cum fetish, she was into this sort of thing.

My mind swims (pun intended) when I think of the babymaking potential in that jug (and I have a genius IQ).

Let me know. I'm serious about this! Hate to let all that gloopy sliminess go down the drain. It is the result of 60+ cummings I have enjoyed lately.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS: I have started getting mail from GUYS about this. NO, not interested at all. Play with your OWN cum! I am looking for a woman who gets turned on by looking at, handling and smelling sperm. They are out there (see my Ohio ref. above).

[b_squared]

That guy should wake up really groggy one morning an pours his jug into a bowl of cereal in the morning by accident and at least get a big bite in before he realizes his mistake.

[Gato]

Agreed.

[Kitsa]

I don't get what the name says:

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/cas/1047575503.html

[Evil Robot]

That looks like your user pic.

[Tadao]

I don't get what the name says:

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/cas/1047575503.html

Flagged for removal :(

[Kitsa]

the name says it all - w4m - 20 (West Chicagoland)

Reply to: pers-1047575503@craigslist.org (pers-1047575503@craigslist.org?subject=the%20name%20say s%20it%20all%20%20-%20w4m%20-%2020%20%28West%20Chicagoland%29)
Date: 2009-02-23, 5:40PM CST


So, lets have some fun, here are somethings you'll need to know first. Big fan of just going to the movies for a day and hanging out. My friends usually say I'm kinda crazy, but in a good way , whatever that means. Ok guys, well , cya around. http://images.craigslist.org/3n63od3l0ZZZZZZZZZ92nb050beef1f581adb.jpg

[Gato]

....Is that a knife in her skirt, or am I just hoping for a murderer?

[Kitsa]

She kind of reminds me of the chick in Audition.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/odishon.jpg
Maybe we'll be so lucky!

[Gato]

Because nothing says love like being kept in a burlap sack and eating vomit from a dog's dish!

[Kitsa]

Well, I mean, it's even the same damn pose. Which is a little creepy.

Unless that's what she's going for.

[Tadao]

She looks like a sex doll :O

[Kitsa]

Everyone looks like a sex doll to you.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Okay, it gt deleted but luckily my roomate saved it in a text document.

This by far tops the craigslist post you found Kitsa.

NSFW


Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.

[Tadao]

I've seen that one before! hehe