View Full Version : Checking up on me.
Feb 25th, 2009, 10:34 AM
I think my girlfriend is logging into my google account to see what's in my history.
I saw her IP (she lives away from me... in another country) in the "recent activity" section on gmail quite a bit, but she said that is because we have a shared google document that we use to keep track of savings, and when she visits that, it goes to my account... or something like that.
I really, really like her, so I said I believed her and left it at that, even though I didn't really believe at all.
Oh, also, someone had turned the history tracker thingie on, when I had it turned off by default. Does any of this make sense? After I changed my password I haven't seen her IP anymore.
So the problem isn't how to find out if she is, because I am pretty sure she is, (or did) it's just what I should do about it. I feel like I should be massively upset about this decimation of my privacy, but I'm only really sad that she lied to me. If she had owned up I would have forgiven and forgotten. I don't really care if she reads my emails, 99% of them are to her.
Anyway, what would YOU do? Is this a big deal? Is this just a little white lie?
Funny or helpful answers only please.
Feb 25th, 2009, 11:42 AM
If I'd were you I'd talk about it with her
Seriously, she's checking your emails? Either she doesn't trust you or she's on her way to become a stalker/psyco
Feb 25th, 2009, 11:50 AM
It is kind of weird that she'd be looking at your history - I mean what horrible things could you possibly be searching for?
"Ways to kill your girlfriend though e-mail"
That said I don't think it's the worst thing anyone has ever done. It's like whenever my girlfriend receives a text message and the phone is near me I'll always want to read it. No reason really, just curiosity/nosiness. Maybe she just got really bored one day and wanted to see what you were up to, then lied about it because she didn't want to look like a weirdo that spies on people's web history.
I guess the sensible thing to do would be to talk to her about it and try and see what she's so worried about you doing but if I were in your position I doubt I'd do this, so I don't know what to suggest.
In other news according to my web history I'm retarded:
11:58pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Canoe boat (http://www.google.com/search?q=Canoe+boat&hl=en)
11:58pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Canoo boat (http://www.google.com/search?q=Canoo+boat&hl=en)
11:58pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Cannoo boat (http://www.google.com/search?q=Cannoo+boat&hl=en)
11:58pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Cano boat (http://www.google.com/search?q=Cano+boat&hl=en)
11:58pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Cano (http://www.google.com/search?q=Cano&hl=en)
11:57pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Canoo (http://www.google.com/search?q=Canoo&hl=en)
11:57pm http://www.google.com/images/cleardot.gifSearched for Hitler's Canoo (http://www.google.com/search?q=Hitler%27s+Canoo&hl=en)
Feb 25th, 2009, 01:25 PM
If that is the worst thing she did you are in great shape. You guys live in different countries, there is gonna be jealousy. It's gonna be there if you live in the same house. Try to just let it go.
Feb 25th, 2009, 04:54 PM
I've friends who openly admit to reading their b/f's texts and I think that's totally unacceptable. I've never done this nor have I ever been tempted. I would not check my b/f's emails either, I wouldn't dream of it. So thus I would be furious at the lack of trust displayed if a b/f read my stuff. But my friends would be forgiving of such behaviour as they do it.
So basically, if this is something you would do, be forgiving. If it's not, chances are there will be other trust issues to come.
Feb 26th, 2009, 06:14 AM
That's what is unsettling to me, Bod. She either doesn't trust me so she has to check what I've been looking at or emailing (maybe she thought I had a woman in every continent or something) or she doesn't trust me to forgive her after she admitted it. Trust trust trust.
Tadao, it's not a huge deal, no. It just irks me that she would lie. I don't check hers and I assumed she didn't check mine out of courtesy, if she did and owned up when I asked her about I would honestly not mind at all. If she wanted to read all my emails for some reason I would probably let her.
Bu I don't want to start a fight about it, I don't think it's worth it really. I fear that if I confronted her about it again she would once again deny it and then be angry at ME for accusing her :/
On the other hand I don't really want to fear her.
I think I will just wait. At least make sure 100% that she did, rather than 99.9% sure, and also maybe drop hints about trusting one another. Or does that make me a patronising arsehole? Maybe the best thing would be to erase it from my mind.
Feb 26th, 2009, 12:46 PM
I'm just trying to be the positive force in this thread. I hate to see relationships end over something that is nothing much at the moment. What if she really is innocent and you are now the one who doesn't trust her. Part of trusting her is believing her as well.
Feb 26th, 2009, 03:57 PM
Why not phrase it in a way that absolves everyone - "I noticed this activity and thought you should be aware, since your IP may have been hijacked and someone obviously tried to access my private files." Suggest that she change her password too, so that she will also be "safe". This does two things: It allows you to see that there are multiple sides to any story, and she could really be innocent. and, if she did do something, then she knows that you found out and will be far less likely to do it again.
You don't mention how old she is - it could be that she's just being a little childish.
Feb 27th, 2009, 01:00 AM
"Someone could have hijacked your ip so that they could look at my e-mail. Huge coincidence, I know. But it could happen."
Feb 27th, 2009, 07:02 AM
Well, I'd feel pretty stupid lying about it like that. I think it would be less offensive to just tell her straight up, since she would be able to see right through me with relative ease.
Tadao, I know what you are saying. I am trying to just forget about it, and I am trying to convince myself that lying about it wasn't a big deal. :\
Feb 27th, 2009, 03:10 PM
yea ;\ that's a stupid lie. You don't want to be just as dishonest and dipshittly as she is being. If you say anything just say, "Somebody logged into my account and the IP address is from your country..." etc.
Feb 28th, 2009, 04:14 AM
Well, I already said that a while ago "I don't want to jump to conclusions..." etc, she didn't deny it was her IP, since it was her home AND work one, she just denied it being her looking through my history and emails. Some sort of shared file, apparently.
I changed my password, and her IP hasn't popped up again, even though we are still "sharing" these same files. She basically told me that if she accesses this file we share it logs her IP to my account, and vice versa. If she accesses it and there is no IP evidence, then it sort of proves that it was a bit of a lie to cover her tracks.
I think I will just tell her that it doesn't matter and I forgive you blah blah, I don't care if you went into my account but please don't lie about stuff to me like that again, because it makes me feel stupid and breaks my heart :(
I might let you know how it goes whenever I work up the courage to confront her.
Feb 28th, 2009, 01:15 PM
Might let us know! You had better tell us, cause I get the feeling it's gonna back fire ;)
Feb 28th, 2009, 04:44 PM
I CANT BELIEVE YO U WOULDNT TRUST ME. IF WE CANT HAVE ANY TRUST IN THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BREAK UP.
Mar 1st, 2009, 06:35 AM
Of course it's going to backfire! So tell me what I should do instead.
If I try to forget about it I can see it popping out of my mouth if we have an argument about anyhting else in the future.
"You forgot to get milk!"
"Yeah, well you logged onto my google account and then lied about it!"
Damn all this. I didn't do anything wrong.
Mar 1st, 2009, 02:15 PM
Stupid feelings, always gets in the way of having fun.
Mar 2nd, 2009, 11:16 AM
Eh. I've been changing my mind every day but I have decided not to say anything. I keep saying that it's not a big deal, so I guess I should start acting like it.
It's probably exactly how MM describes it, she was curious and then lied because she was embarrassed. I can let that slide. I'm sure I've done the same.
I wont say anything.
Sorry for having an anti-climax. :/
Mar 2nd, 2009, 03:48 PM
You always have something to tease her about :)
Mar 4th, 2009, 11:22 AM
I have no idea why, but this popped into my head. It's of no use to you whatsoever.
Mar 13th, 2009, 08:16 PM
I'm gonna send Zhukov a steamy love letter and a picture of my cock.
If she dumps you, then you know she was snooping!
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