Weekly Movie Review: High School Musical 3

[MockBot]

Automatically generated comment thread for Weekly Movie Review: High School Musical 3 (http://www.i-mockery.com/weeklies/weekly.php?type=movies&id=87).

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Sounds fun.

But, can there really be a musical more "so bad it's good" than Nudist Colony Of The Dead (yes, that's a musical)?

You know, I was avoiding these High School Musical flicks like the plague. But, if they're this wonderfully, hilariously awful, I might have to have a marathon of them.

Still, if any sequel to a Disney Channel movie got the theatrical treatment, it should have been a Halloweentown movie. I love those.

[mburbank]

Halloweentown ROCKED until they got a fake Marnie.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

I didn't mind Marnie II so much (I find Sara Paxton rather cute), but the original Marnie (Kimberly J.Brown) was definitely much better.

(I only know the names of the actresses because of a quick Wikipedia search, I swear)

[Protoclown]

Max, I don't know how serious you are about this, but you'd best watch yourself. You are well on your way to earning a gut punch in San Diego, my friend.

[peh_]

Be careful. I'm getting tired of posts on this site of people taking the mock reviews seriously, even if you state it's a joke... But I for one thought that this film deserves placement with the likes of "Citizen Kane". (Just a joke, Zach stars in "Me and Orson Welles" which is apparently a fine film and... ah forget it....)

[Ferrit]

I'm...um...I'm still not going to see it. They haven't created a drug strong enough for me to enjoy something like this. Unless there's zombies in it? Are there zombies in it? I didn't think so.

[Copper]

I believe the zombies are the ones trudging off to the theater to see it...or sending their parents out to buy it.

Of course, it might be hypocritical of me, but I'm absolutely in love with Effron's eyes. I'm a sucker for a pair of baby blues. I also liked the music in the first one but only one song in the second and have heard nothing from the third. Given that the soundtrack is supposed to be the highlight of the films (It's High School *Musical*, after all), I don't feel too badly about that.

[mburbank]

Yeah, when it's all high camp cool a decade from now you looosers will know how AHEAD OF THE FRIGGIN' CURVE I WAS!

[Julio]

I haven't seen any of those flicks so, if they are as good as Max says, maybe the one deserving the gut punch is me.

[Nick]

I think Proto has the right idea about this.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

I'm with Max on this.

You guys just don't appreciate the wonderful ridiculousness of cheesy Disney-channel nonsense.

Trust me, Disney channel stuff is just as hilariously bad as many of the cheesy, 80s horror/sci-fi/action movies we all hold so dear, and for many of the same reasons.

Anybody ever see the made for TV remake of Witch Mountain back in the late '90s?

[Copper]

Wait, they did a remake *before* the one with Dwayne Johnson?

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Yep! They did alot of made for TV remakes of their classic films in the late '90s. It was also when the Disney Channel was first starting to target the teens.

[Marthaeus Autolykos]

This reminds me a lot of a musical I had the misfortune of performing in during my high school years. I absolutely HATE musicals; it causes a total loss of "suspension of disbelief." It's like a scenario in which somebody's mom dies so he spontaneously bursts into a synchronized song and dance routine with 20 random strangers he's never before met in his life. It's simply far too phony and I can't deal with it. Anyhow, I was horrified to discover that the main production of my senior year was a musical called "Homeroom" after I was cast and handed a script. Skimming through the dialoge revealed a tome of inane drivel and whining. "Wahh, I have too much homework." "Wahhh my parents don't understand me." "Waaahhhh girls don't like me." "Waaaah my parents might be getting a divorce." Consequently, I reinvented my character as the "you think YOU have problems?" tough guy who spent a lot of time rolling eyes in disgust, and for my obligatory musical numbers, I went for a "Mackie Messer" vocal style to further emphasize my disdain over this production....and it startled me that people flagged me down for quite a while asking for autographs...and I wasn't even "acting."

[Poxpower]

So you're gay now? Is this what this is about?

[mburbank]

Who, me, or the guy who posted right before you?

[Alcibiades]

Hold your ground men! My fellow nerds!
I see in your eyes the same fear of the cheesy Disney crap that would claim me!
A day may come that people will look back on High School Musical and declare it the new camp. But it is not this day.
A day may come, where people will look back on shows that were canceled after one season from this year and hail them as forgotten treasures, looking for any piece of memorabilia they can find... but it is not this day!
This day we watch House and Family Guy!
For all that you hold dear, I bid you watch the semi-decent entertainment now and wait to see what becomes cult later! Rise! Men of the Nets!

[mburbank]

I get you reference, Al Sobuyadese.

[spleek]

Since we have the Cobra command strongly represented here I propose that Mr.Burbank review GIJoe:Resolute in the near future?? That is, if he can squeeze it in amoung the HSMusical viewings???

[Pentegarn]

When is the review on Teen Witch coming Max?

[Tadao]

I'm sure Max's cheap ass is gonna spring for Hannah Montana tickets.

[hisholiness]

That brunette chick has a hairy bush.

[Aries]

High School Musical 3 is about the most blatant and deliberate gay allegory ever made in recent Hollywood.

All the explicit stuff about career and study choices after graduating is a total smokescreen. The film's seeming chasteness neatly offsets any conflicts with the subtext of the boy-girl sexual chemistry. It certainly isn't an old-fashioned warning against teenage sexual precocity, as over-optimistically suggested in some conservative circles. On the contrary, it's ONLY about sex!

Nearly all the male protagonists (apart from perhaps the geeky token hetero 'Rocket Man' character) are questioning their sexuality to one degree or another - and, as in the long history of film musicals, the stories' subtexts are all told in an obvious code through the songs (via the lyrics and the language of the elaborate dance routines) and the overall plot development, with theatre and basketball being the most obvious symbols of homo and heterosexuality.

If you don't believe me, here are the lyrics to the song "Scream:"

Voices in my head
Tell me they know best
Got me on the edge
they're pushin', pushin',
they're pushin'
I know they've got a plan
But the balls in my hands
This time its man-to-man,
I'm driving, fighting inside

A world that's upside down
Spinning faster
What do I do now? Without you

I don't know, where to go, what's the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I'm gonna Scream!
I can't choose, so confused! What's it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I'm gonna Scream!

[Captain PirateFace]

What a waste of film. I would rather have my balls stapled to my eyelids then watch this film.

[mburbank]

Okay, so that means you haven't seen the film so you don't know and I'll wager you've never had your bag stapled anywhere.

[brokensaint82]

considerin my neice is like in love with the lead guy on it, cant remember his name, and I'm her ride i was forced to see this, after a mild burnin not unlike that which i get entering a church or any other holy structure i found myself ammused by the antics...and yet the darkness inside me grew until finally, a fell into a deep sleep from which i would not wake, then woke up lit a cigarette and got kicked out of the theater

[testtube]

Its no Breakin... shit its not even You Got Served...

[moejoe11]

*sigh* i've seen it but don't really remember it. I got the dvd for my birthday (way back in April) so now I need to open it and press play. don't judge me, my father and stepmum bought me 1st and 2nd movies so they bought me the third to compleate the collection.

[Y-Hat]

-RoG-, hand in your movie fan card because your daughters have infected your mind. This entire franchise is nothing more than a quarter-assed rip-off of Grease and flaunts Disney's recent creative bankruptcy. Granted, Disney's live action movies were never its strong suit, even in the Walt Disney days... but they're relying more than ever on them and manufactured celebrities.

Also, Zac Efron has made it clear that he wants to move on from this series and become a more serious actor. Sorry, but in my book you've poisoned the well on your future acting career. A guest appearance on the new season of Entourage won't change my mind.

One more thing, -RoG-: If your daughters like the Jonas Brothers, you have failed as a parent.

[Tadao]

Mr. Barr, you're a mother? Congratulations!

[Y-Hat]

Whoops, accidentally called the reviewer -RoG- without checking who wrote the review first. Replace -RoG- with "Mr. Burbank" and you'll have my correct response.

[Tadao]

Thank God! I thought he might try to collect child support from one of us.

[mburbank]

My daughters loathe the brothers Jonas. And you're wrong about my Zaccy.