The problem continues!

[kahljorn]

So I took mattjack's advice and approached my neighbor about the problem. She didn't take well to it! After approaching her in the suggested fashion, she continued to tell me that she "pays rent" here, works here, and has a right to park in the driveway just like me (even though I informed her that the parking space was assigned to us). She also said that I'm passive aggressive, and asked me politely to not "Have a cow, man." She also told everyone about our conversation and totally humiliated me in front of others!

What do I do now? how do I go about starting a gang/intimidating someone like that? I mean, she told me not to have a cow, man! How do I face this? Can you guys solve my simple problems for me?

And Douche Boogie could you please not lock/delete this thread -- you killjoy. I have a very serious problem here that can't be resolved by one reply indicating that I should exercise my common sense in order to solve my own problems.

thanks a lot in advance, guys.

[Pub Lover]

Stop going outside, K.

We miss you when you leave us. :tear

[kahljorn]

I wish it were that simple. I can be outraged about this even from the confines of my apartment! I have a psychic sense that tells me when she is parked sideways in my driveway :O

had I known i had received an INFRACTION for EXCESSIVE TOPICS (mostly caused by dr. boogie's locking of threads like a douche for no reason) I wouldn't have made this thread out of fear of being BANNED.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

[Dr. Boogie]

My mistake. Here's a more telling infraction.

[kahljorn]

You're a more telling infraction.

You prejudiced fuck

[Dr. Boogie]

Nice. Anyway, no more of this, please. I admit it's partially my fault for letting Durrsomething get away with it for a while without getting banned.

[kahljorn]

No more of what?

[Zomboid]

C'mon, now. This is at least satirical; Durr's shit was just stupid.

[Zomboid]

BUT BOOGIE IS MY BRAW, SO DON'T BE STARTIN' SOMETHIN'!

[MattJack]

Well she pulled the bitch card, so now you just have to pull the MAN card. Go to the office and tell them what's going on.

Tell the office manager that you tried to be cordial and politely asked her to let you park in your space, but she totally blew you off. Then tell them that you think it's silly that it even had to come to this situation. You'd like them to resolve it as soon as possible. Also, tell them a horror story about how you came home late one night and had to park a whole four buildings down.

If she keeps doing it over the next week or so then the office hasn't done their jobs. Let them know how that it's fvcking bullsh!t, and if they obviously don't care about assigned parking then you will park in another guy's spot.

As far as your neighbor? Fvck that girl. You tried being nice, but she wanted to be a bit*h about things. I would act in my best interest only and not give two sh!ts about her. Even if she had four kids, three jobs, and still had to do sexual favors on the side just to pay rent. She can park her shi* on the south side of the river and thumb a ride home from a desperate meth addicted trucker who hasn't gotten laid in eight months. Basically, show her your care-face.

But I'm just cutthroat like that. You could just take it and have somebody walk all over you :\

[kahljorn]

Mattjack I'm afraid all of those options are a little much for little old me! I'm certainly not so brave, I can only wish I had balls like that. Are there any solutions where I can just sit in my house, be outraged and complain about it on the internet and the problems will somehow solve themselves and end up benefiting me?

thanks for taking the time to give me such good advice, though :O Maaaaaaybe I could try talking to the office, but I really dont want to cause any problems. Plus, they might not even listen to me and then I'd be even more humiliated.

[MattJack]

You could just take it and have somebody walk all over you :\

I don't know man. If you pay your bills and play by the rules then I think that you're well within your right to go talk to the office. Don't let somebody walk over you just because they talk back to their momma and feel like a hard ass.

Also, it's the principle of the matter really. First people are parking in your parking space, then people are dumping trash in your dumpster, and finally you come home to your wife getting the 9/11 style from a guy that cross dresses, but not only that, you notice that he just so happens to have a better eye for female fashion than you.

You are on a slippery, slippery slope man. That's all I'm saying.

[ZeldaQueen]

Set up a beach chair in the driveway and sunbath there when she tries to pull in.

[kahljorn]

Fuck you. Nobody has a better eye for female fashion than me.

>:

NOBODY!

[MattJack]

NOW YOURE GETTING IT

CHANNEL THE ANGER

CHANNEL

[elx]

Set up a beach chair in the driveway and sunbath there when she tries to pull in.
she sounds like she'd be the type to run him over and sue his estate for damage done to her car. :(

kahljorn, what you need is a handicapped child.

[Pub Lover]

Hey elx, you an me could prosduce some seriously handicapped children, whadda ya say? I know I'm up for it. :wank

[DevilWearsPrada]

What you should've done: instead of confronting her about it in the first place, you shoulda parked your car somewhere hidden, then keyed the shit out of her car when she wasn't looking. I am an expert

[Tadao]

Take the bus.

[Dixie]

she sounds like she'd be the type to run him over and sue his estate for damage done to her car. :(

kahljorn, what you need is a handicapped child.
what do you think he is?

[Kilgore Cod]

Buy a scooter.

[Pub Lover]

Guys, K does not even own a car. He just likes having a space?

[MattJack]

Guys, K does not even own a car. He just likes having a space?

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

[The Leader]

Don't you people get it? All Kahljorn has ever wanted from us was love. All he ever wanted... Was love. :tear

[Dixie]

i tried to be nice and he got bitchy at me
he's not my lil buddy anymores
:(

[Misdemonar]

love is for fags

[Pub Lover]

Love is to Fags as my dick is to your ass.

[Misdemonar]

OH PUBLOVER

[Kilgore Cod]

love is $4.99 for the first 5 minutes, $3.99 each additional minute.

[Sam]

sRYNYb30nxU

[darkvare]

what we do here is put a no parking sing that reads "respect my space and i'll respect your car" after that if someone parks there we either flat their tires or bust their lights glases or windshield

[Zhukov]

Well, I would say that going to the office is now the most sensible thing to do, and also the option most likely to get results. You don't have to leave your house, I'm sure you can call them.

Apart from that, I guess you might have to make the parking spot un-parkable. Dig a hole in it or put up concrete blocks or something. If you don't get to use it, nobody should.

[Jes22]

If you own the place you live in & your space is assigned, have the car towed - if you don't own it, have the landlord call the towing company

[Kitsa]

It's funny and a little sad because kahl is hopping from one foot to the other, all "DID YOU SEE...DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE" and instead people are either taking him seriously or not playing.

[Colonel Flagg]

This thread is amusing - half the posts recognize the attempt at satire, and half are taking him seriously and offering (sometimes outrageous) solutions. It makes for an interesting read.

Boogie, thanks for giving this thread a second chance. :)

[Dimnos]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! HOW DARE you take up more space on this fine website! They have to pay for the space they use and your gay thread is taking up more space that they should have to pay for. Are you aware of the staggering cost of internet real estate? In California none the less! Its enough to give you a nose bleed! You are no better than the woman you are complaining about, whom I would imagine is a saint compared to you. She probably deserves the spot more than you. Hell I bet she is a cripple and you are the kind of person to curb stomp kittens. Quit wasting everyones time with your silly girl problems and grow a pair Khal! I DO NOT have the time or the energy to tell you how to solve your ignorant problems. You might have all the time in the world to play around on the internet making your little jokes, that are not even funny by the way, but most people dont. I am a very busy person and you have not only insulted my patience but wasted time that I could have spent working and making money to feed my family. YOU HAVE LITERALLY STOLEN FOOD FROM THE MOUTHES OF CHILDREN!

[kahljorn]

Geez dimnos if you don't have the time or energy to waste on me then next time maybe you could just not type up that long passage of diarrhea. Save us both the trouble, buster.

And you are just so superior aren't you, Jerk Person Dimnos.

[Dimnos]

I am! I am massively superior! And smug! Dont forget smug! Especially smug! I have time to type that much because my massive superiority allows me to type at lightning fast speeds corn holer! :lol

[kahljorn]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/diarrea.jpg

YOU TAKE THAT. TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU AND THINK ABOUT IT AND YOUR POSTING STYLE. AND ALSO THE FACT THAT DIARRHEA IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORDS

[Dimnos]

By the look on that asian kids face it takes a lot concentration and mental training to produce diarrhea. To say that someone produces diarrhea is to complement them for their mental prowess. Im like a buddhist monk! MY WILL IS UNSHAKABLE!

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes

[kahljorn]

Buddhist monks don't have sex and are afraid to hang out with children because they might accidentally have sex with them. Some willpower :rolleyes

[Sam]

GO WASH YOUR HANDS, KAHL

[kahljorn]

SORRY BUT WASHING HANDS IS AGAINST MY JAINIST VOWS -- ESPECIALLY after i touch my penis.

[executioneer]

fuck that

[kahljorn]

OOOH< INTOLERANCE EEEEH?

[executioneer]

probably

[kahljorn]

Guess so

[executioneer]

IM SORRY BUT JAINISM IS JUST THE SILLIEST BELIEVE SYSTEM EVER

[Sam]

3 IN THE AFTERNOON AND DRUNK AS A LORD

[kahljorn]

I guess the jainist respect and adoration for all living organisms would be a bit silly to an executioner.

[kahljorn]

I'm a dork :(

[executioneer]

I ONLY LIKE KITTIES >:o

[Dimnos]

Are you kidding me!

[kahljorn]

You wish.

[kahljorn]

Guys I've just received updates on this situation! More to come later! STAY TUNED.

ALSO: A STARTLING CONFESSION.

[Shrubfest]

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUR!
(dramatic music)

[Tadao]

http://i40.tinypic.com/214cpph.jpg

[Evil Robot]

DUMP GARBAGE IN THE SPOT

[Evil Robot]

Go outside and yell at her car while shes not in it and do it loud enough that she comes to the window to watch.

[kahljorn]

:lol

[Jeanette X]

Mattjack I'm afraid all of those options are a little much for little old me! I'm certainly not so brave, I can only wish I had balls like that. Are there any solutions where I can just sit in my house, be outraged and complain about it on the internet and the problems will somehow solve themselves and end up benefiting me?

thanks for taking the time to give me such good advice, though :O Maaaaaaybe I could try talking to the office, but I really dont want to cause any problems. Plus, they might not even listen to me and then I'd be even more humiliated.

Oh come on. How humiliating can it be not to be listened to by the office? Nobody listens to anything I complain about.

[Pub Lover]

You've got your meds on a higher dosage than K at the moment.

[kahljorn]

IM the one who makes fun of other peoples meds. NOT YOU.

i guess if you had been taking your meds you would've realized that :rolleyes

Maybe if you didn't act like a petulant in-the-closet high schooler every time somebody posts something even remotely wankable, you would be a little bit more bearable. But as it is I can't stand the sight of you.

[Jeanette X]

IM the one who makes fun of other peoples meds. NOT YOU.

i guess if you had been taking your meds you would've realized that :rolleyes

Maybe if you didn't act like a petulant in-the-closet high schooler every time somebody posts something even remotely wankable, you would be a little bit more bearable. But as it is I can't stand the sight of you.

Ooooh...

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Kick his ass Pub!

[Pub Lover]

K isn't the one being exceptionally tedious and annoying in this thread. A hint as to who is would be if I told you it was you and me, J.

[kahljorn]

Anyway. MY STARTLING CONFESSION IS THAT I WAS LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING. ALTHOUGH I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY NEIGHBOR, USING MY OWN INGENIUM I SOLVED IT BEFORE EVER TURNING TO THE INTERNET.

The update is that THAT BITCH IS GETTIN KICKED OOOOOOUUUUTTTAAAAA HERE. I was going to update but I decided not to because it would take too long to explain; and it really isn't worth reading unless you enjoy feeling outraged.

although there are a few hilarious factors, like when she said, "I PAY RENT HERE" what she meant was that the land lords gave her pity and allowed her to pay rent in WEED PULLING :lol and IOUs ;/ She wasn't a tenet, she was a gardner without a home!

also she totally has a cheap prostitute look. Oh yea and she wouldn't just park in our parking space, she would park sideways in the driveway so that only her car could fit there.

[Shrubfest]

Shit YeaH!
Now go shit through her letter box, just as an extra, y'know.

[MattJack]

So everyone wins?

[kahljorn]

except maybe the landlords, but in retrospect she gave them sweaty papers with IOU written on them. Maybe they didn't make out so bad after all :(

[Sam]

Shit YeaH!
Now go shit through her letter box, just as an extra, y'know.

I'll shit in your letter box, baby. ;)

[MattJack]

sweaty papers with IOU written on them

I gotta remember to do this for the next time I have sex with a girl.

Q_Q

[RaNkeri]

Do you have any oven plates, kahl? :rolleyes

[Dimnos]

WTF is an oven plate? Is it what real people call a pan?

[Sam]

Here we go again. :rolleyes

[RaNkeri]

WTF is an oven plate? Is it what real people call a pan?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/uunipelti.jpg

[Sam]

Rankeri, in most places they call that "pizza" :rolleyes

[Tadao]

Is that your puke to be frozen?

[Dimnos]

So its a cookie sheet?

[executioneer]

a "baking sheet" is less cookie-centric, dimnos

other things go in ovens, quit being insensitive

[LordSappington]

Rankeri, in most places they call that "pizza" :rolleyes

I think that's either enchilada or lasagna.