FORUM EVENT: "I-MOCKERY'S 2011 SECRET SANTA EVENT!"

[Guitar Woman]

A package came in the mail today! A mysterious package!



http://i41.tinypic.com/jsztav.jpg
First thought: "Yeah, there was pretty much no way I wasn't getting jewelry or a dress."



http://i43.tinypic.com/dxckr9.jpg
THANKS FOR SHOWING ME UP, "FAGOT"



http://i42.tinypic.com/260fypz.jpg
What the hell is this shit?



http://i42.tinypic.com/2b193p.jpg
Let's see, it opens up, there's a little flap on top, and... wait. Dude.

No way. :D



http://i44.tinypic.com/23a5xw.jpg
Way! It's a pipe with a built in refillable lighter! Or a refillable lighter with a built-in pipe. Either way, that's portable as hell!



http://i41.tinypic.com/b9fz1x.jpg
We load it up with, uh, Christmas-colored green tobacco, and in due time...



http://i40.tinypic.com/fdhg5v.jpg
It should be illegal to be this relaxed!


So, yeah, this thing is pretty awesome. Now I feel even shittier about the shitty shit I sent. I'm gonna go commit seppuku ok bye

Thanks Dimnos!

[Dr. Boogie]

I'm still waiting on mine, not that we're short on time or anything like that.

Also Boogie, how long are you in Costa Mesa? Next week is my finals, we should go get drinks

I'm in Costa Mesa for the foreseeable future, as it's the only city in California where I could actually find work.

[blood_panther]

I just checked my tracking number and found out my gift has been delivered. Yay!

[Dimnos]

A package came in the mail today!

I really wanted to find a tardis bong or something, but by some freak twist of fate, such a thing doesnt exist in a commercial capacity. How... :confused

[Tacobot]

Got my SS package, had to go and pick it up.
can't wait to crack it open! Pics tomorrow hopefully.

Edit: This post sounds like a telegram. stop

[Pentegarn]

Amazing hauls so far everybody... nice to see the event going so smoothly again this year!

I said it to MLE in last year's thread I will repeat it again. Funny how when you take the bad cogs out of a machine it suddenly runs smoothly and correctly.

Now we need Zomboid to make a "wonderful 'that's it' feeling" comment :p

[Tacobot]

So here we are, i got my SS gift from the one and only ChrisGlass!
and check out the plethora of presents set before me.

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Overview.jpg
I must have been a good boy this year.

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Halfview1.jpg
Here we have the legendary Magmasaurus locked within his volcanic time capsule, a
new Mighty Robot brother, Dan Dare card game,a map of the Earth and a handsome Flintstones timepiece.

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/cards.jpg
Here's a pic of the Dan Dare cards the artwork on them is really cool.

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Halfviewpong.jpg
Moving on we have the DVD film of the movie Dodgeball i honestly don't know why
i didn't already own this.
The next slice of awesomeness is a table top table tennis set and Toy Story pencils.

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/comics.jpg
Next up we have a trio of comic books and while i'll read them all but i gotta say
super big turbo thanks so much for the TMNT Christmas Special i love it.

So i decided that with these gifts i have all the tools i need to start planing
world domination.
so i figured i would begin by taking over the large portion of unclaimed land above
China (the Unicorn Int'l Trading Limited company doesn't recognize Russia as a country and why should i)
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Domination.jpg
and as a distraction while my mighty Robot makes claim to my
Empire of New Taconia, i would unleash MagmaSaurus on the only ones able to defeat
my Robot masters...

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Tragedy.jpg
Canada.

Step number two of my world domination is to move on down to China and with
rigorous training in table tennis
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Pong.jpg
and Dodgeball
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/heslearning.jpg
my Robot brother will be unstoppable, as he destroys all of China's
leaders in multi-staged tournaments they will have no choice but to surrender.

But for now the Robot will rest in his new home till i call on him.
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Home.jpg

Thank you so much Chris i love all my gifts, i just wish i were more imaginative because they were perfect material for some kinda story, i did my best to try and not let your efforts go to waste.

[dextire]

Mighty fine haul, Tacobot! But what does the MagmaSaurus actually look like?

[Mockery]

Yeah, I wanna see the MagmaSaurus too.

Also, I just wanted to type the word magma. MAGMA.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Halfviewpong.jpg
Moving on we have the DVD film of the movie Dodgeball i honestly don't know why
i didn't already own this.

If you get a chance while watching dodgeball on dvd, anytime ben stiller snaps his fingers hit the enter button on your remote.

[Ex Leper]

http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/Home.jpg
I want that scary looking bank

[Tacobot]

Oh yea i totally forgot to put up some pics of my new born dino.
So here's the terrifying horror that is MAGMASAURUS!!!
http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n515/Zaktam/magmadood.jpg
Left pic is day one and the right is only a day later, it will be no time at all
until i can ride him and crush my enemies.

@Ex Leper: she's a beaut ain't she. got her down in Chinatown.

@10K: Thanks for the tip.

[BatmanJohnson]

Guys guys guys! Guess what I got!!!!!1 More to come
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/111215-215956.jpg

[ChrisGlass]

It's a box!

[Pentegarn]

Oh I thought it was a new couch with a paisley print

[Tacobot]

Is it contagious? should i call my doctor?

[Pentegarn]

No you can get a vaccination for a mere 20 dollars

[captain516]

I know what it is! The Puberty fairy came and gave you that sweet facial hair.

[ChrisGlass]

So 4 days later...

[MrSmiley381]

So my father has informed me that a package arrived at our home perhaps a week ago. So, to my Secret Santa, you will see my sexy photos of me enjoying whatever gifts you have sent me on Thursday! This is all assuming the Magmasaurus does not kill me before then.

[BatmanJohnson]

sory busyweek. been stuck with overtime. should be able to get pics up ina couple of days

[Guitar Woman]

Shit, is my outgoing gift still lost to the postal system?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I think Willie needs to start running the secret santa event. So he can use his secret postal powers to track gifts.

[stonewar]

according

[stonewar]

according to to my calculations 9 people haven't recieved gifts. but on the other hand my calculations also say 12 people have yet to have thier gifts posted online. so counting batmanjohnsons box only photo I'm little wrong somewhere.

[Mockery]

My Secret Santa received his gift a long time ago... he's just taking forever to post the pics but promised they'd be up soon.

:domosleep

[dextire]

Okay, here is where I think we stand as of right now. :xmas1

Participants who have yet to receive a SS package:
Zhukov
ChrisGlass
LordSappington
Dr. Boogie
Blood_Panther

Participants who have yet to have a SS package received or unknown recipient:
Mockery
10,000 Volt Ghost
Harry Lime
Zhukov
Guitar Woman
LordSappington
Blood_Panther
Babs
JohnyQuest

Participants who have received a SS package and have not yet posted photos:
JohnyQuest - Received 6th - Unknown SS
Protoclown - Received 7th - BatmanJohnson
Babs - Received 8th - Unknown SS
Dimnos - Received 9th - Dextire ;)
MrSmiley381 - Received 12th - Unknown SS
BatmanJohnson - Received 15th - Unknown SS

I think that's it. :xmas1 :xmas2:xmas1

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

As long as the pics are up sometime in the next few weeks. Everything did get pushed back a week or so getting everything running.

[Esuohlim]

Also keep in mind that Zhukov lives on an exotic island where mail can only come and go by wooden boat

[blood_panther]

OK so I got my present in the mail today, so lets see whats in this bad boy....



http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000286.jpg
wow that's a large box. and my roommate was kind enough to rip off the custom's form thus removing any spoilers.


http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000288.jpg
I open the box to find it full of packing peanuts. Finding my presents buried under all these would be difficult but I was up to the challenge.

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000291.jpg
The first thing I found was this beauty. a black light.

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000292.jpg
A black light for use in a car apparently.

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000289.jpg
Next up was a pack of black light paint! a perfect match!

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000302.jpg
The third thing inside was a live cat....
or that could of been my roommates who knows.

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000294.jpg
the paints look even better under the black light.

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m85/blood_panther/WP_000295-1.jpg

thanks to my secret Santa.....unfortunately nothing was included to tell me who exactly that was, but thank you all the same.

[Pentegarn]

Wow I am impressed a live cat made it through shipping.

[stonewar]

nice. it has a car adapter because you need to see the foreign substances on the seats of your car.

[JohnnyQuest]

YARGH! Spent a couple of hours last night posting a dozen photos and typing hilarious captions, and then the system (mine or yours?) choked on it. Will try again today!

Hey, Dextire, have you confirmed that the first five people on your list haven't received anything? My recipient is on the list, and the post office says they delivered it over a week ago...

[Guitar Woman]

Am I banned today? D:

[dextire]

Cool stuff, Blood Panther! I'm equally confused about the car adapter however.

YARGH! Spent a couple of hours last night posting a dozen photos and typing hilarious captions, and then the system (mine or yours?) choked on it. Will try again today!

Hey, Dextire, have you confirmed that the first five people on your list haven't received anything? My recipient is on the list, and the post office says they delivered it over a week ago...
That sucks, man. I'm looking forward to your second attempt though! :xmas1
As to the list, I'm sorry but there's no confirmation or anything like that. I just read back through the thread.

Am I banned today? D:
Of course not. :lol

[Ex Leper]

As long as the pics are up sometime in the next few weeks. Everything did get pushed back a week or so getting everything running.

There you go.

[JohnnyQuest]

Well, after a great deal of time (Holy Deadline, Batman!) and a couple of failed attempts, I finally got my mistletoe together to post this. I'm such a non-posting dork, I had to set up a Photobucket account for the first time, as my years-old-yet-rarely-used ImageShack account wasn't working for me (which is too bad, really, because I was gonna make each and every one of these pictures sparkle like a mother frakker).

As I mentioned in a previous post, I got a package from Archie McPhee! It's a great store based in Seattle, full of wacky stuff sure to please any I-Mockery fan.

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/goodsign.jpg

Always a good sign!



I took a look at the box, and was instantly thrilled at the possibilities:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/corn.jpg

Corn?!? I freaking LOVE corn!!



But alas, I was not going to be eating delicious La Hacienda corn that evening. The contents would turn out to be even better! When I opened the box, I found something inside: another box! But this was no ordinary box, it was super awesome:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/awesome.jpg

It says so right on the box!



Yes, it's Super Awesome all right. It's Archie McPhee's grab-bag surprise box, and I couldn't wait to check it out. But when I removed the Super Awesome box from the almost-as-awesome corn container, I saw this:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/extras.jpg

A stowaway and his lunch!



But more on those in a moment, as I was also able to get the packing slip out at that point. It included a personal note from the sender, which reads as follows:

"Hey, Johnny Quest! It's -RoG- from I-Mockery.com and I'm your Secret Santa this year! Hope you enjoy this super awesome surprise box o' goodies from one of my favorite companies. I also threw in an extra set of pickle fingers, because it just wouldn't be a"

That's right, my Secret Santa was RoG, the head mocker himself! Thanks again for the thoughtful gift, RB! But his message appears to have been cut off before he finished. It was probably some sort of text-field error, but I like to picture RoG sitting at his desk typing it, when all of a sudden he's tackled by Abobo! Mystery...

Oh, and speaking of pickle fingers:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/picklest.jpg

A Nightmare on Pickle Street!


Yes, pickle fingers. And don't ask why, or I will slash you with briny death.
Also in the outer box was this little unadvertised guy:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/gorilla.jpg

Crazy gorilla thumb puppet!



Then, still giddy with the reveal of my Celebrity Secret Santa, and having whetted my appetite with a couple of fun items, it was on to the main event!

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/suprawesme.jpg

Super Awesome, no matter which angle you view it.


This box is chock full of fun stuff! Just look at it - where to begin:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/stuff.jpg

Yippee! Stuff!



First out of the box are these little people. There are a few different ones, they look like business people, about one inch tall, and all very serious. Maybe they're game pieces, or the population of some city diorama:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/people.jpg

"Welcome to our office. Please wear grey."



They could be used as extras when you pretend to be Godzilla! They could also be from some cubicle-dweller playset, I don't know. But then they did this, and I started to have a clue:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/lineup.jpg

So either a Starbucks or Apple Store playset.



I'm dividing this into two posts, so as to not break my aging computer. Tune in next time, as we continue to explore the super awesome contents of the Super Awesome box!

[MrSmiley381]

So I received a magical box from the strange land of Canada with the following wrapped gifts, as well as some letters.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-_LkzHM2-mlo/TvOho3OcOpI/AAAAAAAAABo/iqWb7ABRdjE/s720/1.jpg

So the first package had powdery sugar candy canes. Cocaine canes. Sent internationally.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-kr_77Pdj4Sg/TvOhpcO85eI/AAAAAAAAABw/Z1JwsUPekgU/s720/2.jpg

The second was a Transformer, with product placement by Lowe's. When I was a kid all we got were die-cast metal robots. This is much better, because it actually confused me when I tried to Transform it! This toy was officially more complex than every game released in 2011.

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-LKxILx97rN8/TvOhvR8Rp_I/AAAAAAAAAB4/SaZY8Wq3ROM/s720/3.jpg

And what else? More robots! Robots that help me keep track of time! Happy 2009 everyone!

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-xbzfkb34sO4/TvOhwg-DehI/AAAAAAAAACA/2U9_ko7bsy8/s720/4.jpg

So the next package was DVD-shaped. So I think, it's "Transformers" on DVD of some variant, right? Well, my secret Santa was better than that. He knew. He mentioned this in one of his letters. Tricky bastard!

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-vK7eZcSC2d8/TvOhw_JxXFI/AAAAAAAAACE/5Y4lyFXnSpY/s720/5.jpg

So the next package had more goddamn awesome robot shit in it. As it turns out, I didn't own either of these, so my Santa guessed right! Cyborg Justice is notorious more it's bumping robot dance techno, so I can't wait to play it again after all these years. Too bad my Genesis is still in New York D:

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-MOOJrXtNLc8/TvOh5AvTRpI/AAAAAAAAACY/UpvuN5gg6dY/s720/6.jpg

So, get this. In Canada, milk comes in bags. Additionally, candy packages open open upside-down.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-VK9Vqru75EU/TvOh4b1al8I/AAAAAAAAACQ/w4ReQgUFFHg/s720/7.jpg

Also, my gifts combined (like Combaticons!) into a car on a ramp! Sexy!

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QMaR8Qgw1q0/TvOh5kvu3dI/AAAAAAAAACg/h_pwMjA4bbE/s720/8.jpg

I DO COCAINE!

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Z1GVP-AKUb0/TvOh74QH03I/AAAAAAAAACo/0xhKxG7ap24/s720/9.jpg

Blood_Panther definitely didn't drop the ball! Thanks a lot man!

[BatmanJohnson]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss1.jpg
Amazing look at all of my presents From Babs before the wrapping paper was shredded with the force of a hundred honey badgers on crack.
(I may've exaggerated slightly)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss1.jpg
First thing I opened! CANDY GLORIOUS SUGARY CANDY! AND COOKIES, TRIPLE CHOCOLATE. But I digress from everything else because of the delcious sweet tarts sour patch kids cookies and toblerone.....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss3.jpg
The letter said he wanted to take Santa out of the picture. What better way than with an excellent horror movie!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss2.jpg
Next up we have an Eldridge tome written by none other than HP Lovecraft(and others) Have to include the others or they may get jealous and strangle me.... why is it suddenly drafty in here.... somethings not right

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss4.jpg
Nah Just my imagination running wild...... wait what is that on my shoulder...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss6.jpg
HOOOLLLLYYYY

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss7.jpg
FUCCCKKKINNNGGG

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss8.jpg
SHIT BURGERS..... It's my own cuddly eldritch god.. I shall feed him the souls of the damned and the not so damned, so long as I'm not on the menu......

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss%202011/ss9.jpg
And finally an awesome Horror comic by the name of GOre Shriek.... I've only skimmed the first few pages but I love older horror comics so I'm sure I'll love it once I get time to read it!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v362/Bhawke/ss8.jpg

So here's a group shot. A big thank you to Babality pancakes for making my christmas a very black christmas(albeit sugared up)

[replicant]

Sweet loot Batman! :D

[Dr. Boogie]

Am I banned today? D:

No, you're fine. I got your package last week, but I've been busy moving. And then I lost the USB cord for my camera.

But I finally found it, and so without further ado, my SS package from Guitar Woman:


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-01.jpg


Thankfully, the package made its way to my doorstep in spite of the fact that my name was misspelled on the address labels. "Bowler"? Oh, Cliff.

Such an unassuming box, but loaded with such goodies:


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-02.jpg

Delicious Sour Patch Kids! I admit that as I was opening the box, I was secretly hoping to find some candy inside, and I do love sour candies. Mmm mm!


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-03.jpg

I was definitely not expecting a bottle of scotch. I'm not much of a drinker myself, but the note that came with the box assured me that this is the good stuff. And if nothing else, I've got a couple nice shot glasses!


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-04.jpg

Star Wars merchandise that both delights eyes and tantalizes the taste buds all at once? Count me in! Now if only I could remember where I packed my baking ingredients...


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-05.jpg

Mmm, more tasty snacks... I assume. I haven't gotten around to trying them to decide if these were meant as joke gifts or real snacks.


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-06.jpg

Bacon toothpaste and dental floss! Now I finally have a way to make my breath smell like bacon without eating any bacon! I wonder when Mr. Bacon's life began; would it be when he was first shaved off a pig's torso, or was it shortly after he was transformed from a raw, greasy strip of fat into a crinkly ribbon of cooked meat?

I'm hungry.


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-07.jpg

Every month is Halloween when you've got the zombie calendar! Who do you have telling you what day it is, Dilbert? Fuck you.


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-08.jpg

Also included were some... potatoes. Now I can make home fries for Christmas dinner!


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-09.jpg

Bear earmuffs. It doesn't get cold enough to wear earmuffs in southern California very often, but when it does, I'll be ready. Ready and fuzzy.


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-10.jpg

The Freeloader Fork, a telescopic fork for annoying dinner guests up to 2 feet away. Look at that extending action:


http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-11.gif

Ooh! Ah!

http://www.i-mockery.com/drboogie/ssanta11/ss2011-12.jpg

I don't know what these little plastic guns are for, but I've got two of them. Maybe they tie in with the potatoes somehow. Or maybe they're just blackhead guns. Could go either way.

All in all, a pretty good haul this year. Nicely done, GW.

[LordSappington]

My present arrived a few days ago; pictures are incoming.

[JohnnyQuest]

Welcome back! When last we met, super awesome things had begun to emerge from the Super Awesome box I got from RoG, my super awesome Secret Santa! Let's continue, shall we?

You know, in this economy it's always a good idea to get the most sound financial advice you can, and Super Awesome has got me covered with my very own Wall Street Financial Guru:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/gurubox.jpg

The Official Sphere of the 1%!


Since I already make most of my personal, culinary and relationship decisions based on 8-ball technology, this one's right up my alley. Or should I say street - Wall Street, that is! :lol
In the spirit of the season, I'd like to share with you some of the Guru's hot financial advice:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/pork.jpg

Mmmmm, bacon...


I'm also investing in Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice futures, based on a hot tip from my brokers, Winthorpe & Valentine.

This talk about food is making me hungry, but that's no problem, as Super Awesome has you covered at mealtime as well:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/dinner.jpg


Two place settings, meatloaf, and even after-dinner mints! Plus, I'm not sure if it's real, but I would totally eat at The Cricket Steak House, which either has really big crickets or really small chickens. Doesn't matter.

And if you're thirsty, here's a lovely beverage:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/snot.jpg

A little salty, but so smooooth!


I've never had Mr. Snot Energy Drink before. That's all I'm gonna say. I immediately pounded it down (well, as quickly as it slithered out of the jug), and now I've got a nifty reusable sports bottle!


And it's a good thing that some food was included, because the box's population was not limited to dour businesspeople and a rogue gorilla! Let's check out the action figures, sprung to plastic life from the pages of literature, music and history:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/action.jpg

He's trying to use his cane to escape from the blister pack!


That's right, 19th century adventurer and superhero Oscar Wilde. Oh, man, I'm afraid my other action figures are gonna beat the crap out of him. Charm them with a witty bon mot, Oscar! On second thought, use your cane!! Oh, who will protect the poet? Wait a minute, Li'l Ludwig looks pretty tough:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/ludwig.jpg

You talking to me? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!?


If he can get out of that box, Beethoven will kick. your. ass. Plus, he comes with the best possible accessory: a free comic! "Oh, Li'l Ludwig, what hijinks are you up to NOW?"

If you have any doubt at this point about the super awesome nature of this Super Awesome gift (and really, why would you? How could you?), here's the clincher:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/cardpack.jpg

It's right on the package, people!


I'm not sure whether that kid is super excited, or frozen in abject terror. Either way he manages to be completely dead-eyed. Super Awesome!

Take a look at the cards:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/cards.jpg

I defy you to tell me that any of these are not Super Awesome!


The cards are great, and have fun facts on the back. Each one is undeniably awesome, but I think this may be my favorite:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/tbone.jpg

Is it more awesome because it's raw? You decide! (But the answer is yes.)


Well, we're down to the last few items in the box (Can you believe it? What a journey we've taken!). Here's one that will be fun to decorate with during next year's Two Months of Halloween:

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/clings.jpg

My kids already look like this.


The package comes with three sets of mirror clings, which should be enough to also put them on my TV during the news. Monster anchors!

And now the last couple of items, some Devil Duckie bandages and fifteen Texas Hold 'Em poker chips!

http://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h432/JohnnyQuest6/bandchip.jpg

As used at The Drunken Gunslinger Hotel & Casino!


I haven't opened the bandages yet - I'm a little afraid to find out what kind of toy is appropriate to include with a wound care product.

And that's about it. Oh, I could have taken a few more pictures, I guess - shown that the mints were football shaped, and had little to no taste of penguin; or served up the meatloaf (recipe: inflate.), but that would have taken me even more time, and Christmas is almost upon us! Thanks again, Santa, and Happy Holidays to everyone in the I-Mockery community!

:xmas3

[MarioRPG]

Nice hauls everyone! Merry almost Chrimmas to you! :xmas3 I bet that bacon toothpaste is just fantastic.

[blood_panther]

just got a pm. A big thanks goes out to LordSappington who was my secret santa this year. thanks for the awesome gift.

and gratz to everyone else. looks like everyone got a whole lot of awesome this year.

[dextire]

Ho, Ho, Holy crap! What amazing holiday hauls! :xmas1
It looks like you guys just gave a quick ;) to the spending limit as you went on your merry way. :lol
And yes I know there's no maximum spending limit, I'm just jealous of all the awesome stuff. :)

Dr. Boogie: I would much sooner eat the Larvets than the bacon flavored toothpaste, they're actually pretty good.
You have to chew the crickets quite a bit or they'll get caught in your throat like popcorn kernels though.

JohnnyQuest: Well done on the photo tour of the immense amount of awesome!
Have you inflated the meatloaf yet? I'm curious if it gets to actual meatloaf size.

And in case I'm not able to get on in the next few days, Merry Christmas everyone! :xmas3

[ChrisGlass]

I don't know what these little plastic guns are for, but I've got two of them. Maybe they tie in with the potatoes somehow. Or maybe they're just blackhead guns. Could go either way.

All in all, a pretty good haul this year. Nicely done, GW.

I think the guns are for the ear muffs... somehow.

[Harry Lime]

Still waiting for my recipient to post their pics, Merry X-Mas anyhow!

[Babs]

So after countless days of waiting to open my package due to extra fun activities at my job, I finally got the chance to do so.

And my Secret Santa is... drum roll please... insert onomatopoeia.......

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/1.jpg

HARRY LIME!!! From a Lime to a Lemon. This is truly starting out to be a magical December already (even though it's near the end of December).

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/4.jpg

And a nice letter from Mr. Lime.

Well the contents of the package did find me well but I can't quite vouch for the integrity of the products seeing as it's a surpise, so we'll have to anxiously wait until I get to that part! OHHHHHH THATS THE GOOD PART.

Oh yeah, I didn't check the box because I don't like MOESHA.

Unless this is Moesha.....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/5.jpg
Wishing me a Merry Christmas on the half of Harry Lime, then consider that box checked.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/MOESHA.jpg


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/6.jpg

Now it's time to to get down to THE GOOD PART, rumaging through the package and over seeing the total contents that Harry Lime has enclosed for me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/7.jpg

5 PACKAGES! Including the goodie pouch and excluding that super mario walkthrough that snuck itself into the shot.

So we're going to break this lot down piece by piece.
. Christmas Tree
. Snowman
. Sock
. Fuel
. Goodie Pouch

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/8.jpg

Starting with the Christmas Tree and so far I see what seems to be a VHS. That, or Beta Max.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/9.jpg

OHHHHHHHH CREEEEEPY CLAASSSSSSICS. A tape that is "a hauntingly hilarious video" with the dashing deviant "Master of Scarimonies" Vincet Price playing host and/or narrator to a barrage of old B movies. They're definitely not kidding about the "authentic film footage", they're definitely snipets of low budgeted films, NO KIDDING!

I saved the best for last on this gem because it couldn't be any more true.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/VhsBACK.jpg

I couldn't agree more that cringing and howling indubitably leads to calling for pizza. Especially to classics such as The Blob, The Day of the Triffids, and many more classics that Mr. Price will be playing host too. Just let this incriminating picture speak for itself.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/PIZZA.jpg


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/10.jpg

Moving unto the Snowman, I discover my interests are rather intrigued. It's a rough guide to cult movies, basically it's a book full kick ass shit and information that people should read more into instead watching the bullshit that's coming out now. It includes quick synopses of movies such as Blade Runner, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Barbarella, Tokyo Gore Police, Rosemary's Baby, and many many more amazing titles. Can't thank you enough Harry Lime for this bible, much appreciation.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/11-1.jpg

Now it's time for the Sock. And it's The Simpsons Christmas which includes 5 Christmas oriented Simpsons episodes from the past to more recent episodes. Ahh the memories are coming back to me when I was a young lad who used to watch The Simpsons religously.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/13.jpg

Now we all know you can't be in the Christmas spirit without a little bit of Christmas Fuel. Que in the dark and milk chocolate! What a better way to get things going a little bit more with some good old fashion chocolate.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/14.jpg

Finally, the Goodie Pouch. Now what could possibly be in this....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/15.jpg

It's... coal... hmmm.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/16copy.jpg

WAIT A SECOND!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/17copy.jpg

IT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE, LEAST EXPENSIVE GIFT IN I-MOCKERY'S SECRET SANTA HISTORY!!!!!! A GOOD OLD FASHIONED INVESTMENT!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/19.jpg

Ahh, now I can finally rest with all my amazing gifts that Harry Lime has provided me with.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/20.jpg

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE TO THE FOLKS AT/ON I-MOCKERY, AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY PAL HARRY LIME FOR SWEETENING UP THIS LEMON'S HOLIDAYS!!!!

[Guitar Woman]

Boogie, those would be potato guns. (http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Potato-Gun.html) You can stick the tips into a potato and rip out a little chunk, then shoot them at your friends; they're reputedly good for a few hundred shots from a single spud. I thought I'd include some surplus ammo, too.

Also I'm hell of relieved that you liked it! This was lots of fun in retrospect. :D

[Ex Leper]

When you finish reading that cult book you should check out this one as well.
http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/9658/500essentialcultmovies9.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/542/500essentialcultmovies9.jpg/)

[Babs]

NOT BETTER THAN WHAT LIME GAVE ME!

but I will definitely look into that next time I make a trip to half price books.

[Zhukov]

Wow, you guys grew up without spud guns? Sad.

Unless my Secret Santa was a Christmas card in a pink envelope from "DAVE", then I don't think I've gotten mine yet. I'm not worried, you shouldn't be worried; our post is indeed serviced via wooden boat.

[Babs]

By the way Batman's Johnson, I think you'll really like Gore Shriek seeing as it's the only comic in the world worth reading/looking at.

Zhukov, I'll get you something if you don't receive a gift by the new year. No man shall be left behind!

[The_Punk_Hippie]

...Gore Shriek seeing as it's the only comic in the world worth reading/looking at.


obviously, SOMEONE'S never read Preacher ;D

[ChrisGlass]

Boogie, those would be potato guns. (http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Potato-Gun.html) You can stick the tips into a potato and rip out a little chunk, then shoot them at your friends; they're reputedly good for a few hundred shots from a single spud. I thought I'd include some surplus ammo, too.

Also I'm hell of relieved that you liked it! This was lots of fun in retrospect. :D

It was a joke. I'm pretty sure he knows what they're for.
Or... maybe not. They usually come in packages that say "Spud gun" on them...

[Babs]

OBVIOUSLY I need to be your secret santa next year and enlighten you.

[Dr. Boogie]

I really had no idea what they were. I thought they might be some sort of cheap blackhead guns.

We had spud guns when I was growing up, but they were for shooting entire potatoes.

[Zomboid]

Yeah, I've never seen any like that. My friends and I used to have a lot of fun with the bazooka style guns, though. One time, we shot one from across our friend's acreage and either hit the dog or hit very near it. Either way, we heard a yelp but none of the dogs seemed to be hurt. It was like a mortar.

[Protoclown]

Wow, it's Christmas and I just realized that I never posted the pictures of Batman Johnson's gifts! :eek

Ooops! I have failed! I took them the other night but I didn't have time to post them and then I totally forgot. So without further ado, here they are!

OMG A PACKAGE OF SOME KIND! COULD IT BE TROUBLE?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa1.gif
ALL CLEAR, IT IS PRESENTS!

From Batman Johnson I have received a box of random randomness!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa2.jpg

I got some book about zombies, some Winnie the Poo book for some reason I don't even know why, and some comics that I might be able to use for Tales From the Longbox fodder (except for the Maxx which is awesome but which any self-respecting comics fan already has).
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa3-1.jpg

Boba Fett and Mumm-Ra action figures.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa4.jpg

A bunch of Batman Returns trading cards, which I found amusing. Also, Batman Returns is my third favorite Batman movie after the Chris Nolan ones.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa5.jpg

And a bunch of candies, most of which were smashed, but they probably still taste okay. And if they don't, I have friends who will eat anything, so it's all good. And there was some kind of Lego bag of something or other. Mini Figures of some kind, but I don't know what they are yet.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/protoclown/Mock%20Xmas%202011/santa6.jpg

Anyway, thank you to BatmanJohnson for the box of random stuff!

[Tacobot]

All awesome SS hauls so far and great pics too, it's been a lot of fun. glad i got to join in your reindeer games Thanks.:)

[Harry Lime]

Glad you liked the presents babs. Cheers!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The best free hosting for your site!
New generation hosting is all your new site needs!
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THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

[ChrisGlass]

*twiddles thumbs*

Edit:

The gift arrived today! From AUSTRALIA, where I believe it is in the middle of summer and everyone bathes in Vegemite.

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/IMAG0679.jpg
Lots of food! Snacky food!

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/IMAG0680.jpg
For a... SON? (For a second I thought my Dad moved to Australia to avoid the law. Long story, it's not actually impossible, not on good terms)

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/IMAG0681.jpg
Oh, thank the lord, it's just Zhukov being funny.

http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/IMAG0682.jpg
Thank you for the diabetes

And for a surprise, beyond food, was a Locust Grenadier from Gears of War!
http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/IMAG0683.jpg
Here he's about to torch Mr. T.

And I then took a 3D picture, but because I was lazy, I uploaded it without checking it:
http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/th_xxegwiggle.gif (http://s204.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/M3wThr33/?action=view&current=xxegwiggle.gif)
And it looks (when animated) like he's ear-fucking Mr. T.

Thanks a ton, dude!

[dextire]

Great stuff, people! So, I think Zhukov is the only one still without a SS package.
And we're just waiting on pictures from LordSappington and Dimnos.

Quite the successful event again this year, despite the late start.
Nice job, 10K! :picklehat

[Zhukov]

Cool. Fucking glad it made it Chris.

It turns out my package appeared at the post office right at the last minute before Christmas, so it's been sitting there since the 24th with no considerate staff to take time out of their busy holiday schedules to deliver it - I'll see if I can pick it up this afternoon and then post pictures very soon after that. :xmas1

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Zhukov, your secret santa sent me another pm telling you to pick it up soon.

[Zhukov]

Well I was really busy this afternoon, so send a PM back telling them to chill the fuck out, will you.

[Ex Leper]

Great job everyone, I look forward to participating again next year.

[Tacobot]

ahh i could watch Mr.T getting ear funked for hours. nice pics Mr. Glass

[Zhukov]

Well holy shit, I got an awesome bunch of SS gifts from 10k; the master of choosing appropriate SS gifts, it seems. Everything was wrapped to perfection in song lyrics, so that was cool, too. It might sound pathetic and sad, but this totally made my Christmas/New Year/Life.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Vincered/DSC_1297.jpg

1. A Wu-Tang t-shirt. FUCK. This is awesome. I've also been assured that it was touched by a reasonably attractive woman before it went into the post, so that is a plus. Although it would have been touched by 10k after that, I can assume, so that might negate any beautiful American girl's DNA rubbing off on me when I wear it... but the t-shirt is still awesome, so it doesn't matter. For anyone wishing to send me t-shirts in the future - I am a medium, but a small will still fit. Just. GZA is doing a show here in late Jan, so I might wear it to that and get him to sign it, even though he will only be doing his solo songs and want me to buy his album and sign that instead, but fuck that. WU TANG. WU. TANG.

2. Empty chocolate bar wrappers. Well. Never before have I been so insulted. I hope you enjoyed them before you sent them to me, as I hear the 100 Grand bar is the best of the bunch, and also the Milky Way melts quite easily if you leave it in your back pocket while working in the hot sun, but you can still eat it if you open the top and just suck out the chocolate.

3. DARE IZ A DARKSIDE BY REDMAN MOTHERFUCKER. I'm listening to it as I type this, and it's bitching, of course. 10k continues to be one of the few people on this site with good taste.

4. I don't even know what this is. COPS. Cops doing anything? I don't know; I haven't watched it yet, but I will. It's a best of collection, so it had better be good. DVDtalk says "It's a solid collection worth hunting down." I have never heard of this before, but it looks like 80s/90s (?) goodness. Episode 5: 'The Case of The Bogus Justice Machine' sounds the most interesting, and as it's set in the year 2020, I can assume it's dealing with the downfall of either the U.N or the IMF or something.

5. A key ring or something? Shit knows what this is, and I've been trying to untangle it for a while now with no success. I don't know if you did this on purpose 10k, or if it somehow became tangled in the post, but it's a bit of dick thing to do.



I don't know if this fell in the box while you were wrapping it, or if you wanted me to to get banned by posting this, but WTF? Cheeburger (http://www.cheeburger.com/menu/main.asp)? WTF? Either way, it looks tasty. Thanks for making me want something I will never get. Nice.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Vincered/DSC_1299.jpg


Turns out Christmas Cards are expensive this year, as I said to Chris Glass, and I totally can understand 10k sending me two post it notes stuck together to look like a card instead. I'm doing this next year.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Vincered/DSC_1298.jpg

But not that.


Merry fucking Christmas to you too, asshole.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've been trying to figure out that puzzle for a few years but I don't know exactly what part to remove. Hopefully you have better luck with it than I did. Lost the directions too.

[MarioRPG]

I aint gots not chee on a mah burger

[dextire]

Nice haul, Zhukov!
You're in for a treat with C.O.P.S. as all the episodes take place in 2020.

Dy4YFDSDW4w

[Tacobot]

Wtf COPS looks fucking awesome! how did i not see this cartoon growing up i was the perfect age for it. i feel incomplete now...nice haul Zhukov...fuckin cops.

[Babs]

Bill chilled the fuck out because Zhukov wasn't someone to fuck with. Another successful SS. Congratulations everybody, now lets move on.

[dextire]

Well, we still have to wait for two more to post pictures of their stuff.

[Mockery]

Nice haul, Zhukov!
You're in for a treat with C.O.P.S. as all the episodes take place in 2020.
I have the C.O.P.S. DVD set too... it was an awesome show with some really fun characters. Surprised more people don't remember it. I hope 2020 is really like that.

[MarioRPG]

I'm pretty sure there was a trailer for it on my Captain N set.

[LordSappington]

Hey guys; I'm really sorry I took so long to post pictures. A lot of personal things came up, and I honestly wasn't in a great state of mind. But I finally made a photobucket album. Thank you so much, JohnnyQuest; I can't think of a theme that would suit me any better! :)
http://s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff44/roflcopter12211/Secret%20Santa/

[dextire]

Wow, that stuff is awesome LordSappington! Thanks for posting pictures. :rock
All right, Dimnos. You're the last one, man. :)

[JohnnyQuest]

Yay! I'm glad you liked the stuff, your lordship. I agree that the JOLT is great - definitely the best size-to-power ratio of any Nerf gun. I hope your personal stuff has settled down, and that a few new toys helped out! Happy 2012, everybody!