How do you get over someone?

[James]

How do you make feelings for someone just go away forever?

The only things I've ever been able to come up with, is to never talk to the person again. But that just makes the feelings dormant. I can still go and think of any girl I've ever seriously liked, and still know that there are lingering feelings.

Another being to think about it all, logically and realistically, putting things into perspective, and trying to realize I shouldn't like a person. But just when I think I have a grasp on the situation, I can see or talk to them, and everything goes to shit again. The other thing I tried is punching myself in the head whenever I think of the person, but that doesn't work either.

So, how do you get over someone? How do you think about someone, see someone, or talk to someone without those feelings eating away at your brain?

[MK IV]

Find someone else.
That way all your feelings will be 'channeled' into a new direction.

Altyhough theres allways meditation.

[AChimp]

The trick is to let yourself become depressed for a few months.

Oh wait... that doesn't help. :(

[jin]

Logic is nothing in the way of feelings.

If you have strong enough feelings for someone, you will never lose them totally. They might become less impacting, and become dormant or forgotten, but if you felt something and truely felt it, it will never go away.

Regret, loss and love are the ones that stay with you forever. Hate is forgettable and becomes distaste if anything, rather than animosity.

But there is no point trying to get rid of feelings, if they linger, they must have impacted on your life, and they'll probably never go away.

At least you'll probably have some wistful stories to tell the young'uns when your occupation changes to "Professional Porch Sitter" or "Assistant Napper" later on.

AHEhAEHhaEhahehah

[Dole]

get out in the real world and do stuff. Best and only cure.

[James]

All this advice is worthless. :(

What I'm trying to do, is make current strong feelings for someone be less strong, or go away completely. Now, going away completely is, of course, a dream. But how can I make the feelings not as strong, without having to remove myself from everything that concerns the person?

[jin]

I must disagree with dole, that is forgetting not "Getting over someone".

The "real world" is over-rated, MTV does it better- and thats saying something.

But occupying your time with something other than lamenting would be a good cure to forget - temporarily anyhow.

[Dole]

I wasnt talking about forgetting, like jin said those feelings may never truly go away, so fuck it your stuck with them in which case get out, have some fun and dont obsess over something you cant control. Thats what I meant.

"What I'm trying to do, is make current strong feelings for someone be less strong"

-if you feel that way, you feel that way. You cant turn emotions up or down like a volume control. Anyway, I thought you hated women and never wanted a girlfriend? Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

He's obviously referring to a boy toy.

[Protoclown]

LIKE YOU'RE EVER GOING TO NEED ANY OF THIS ADVICE :lol

[wreckreation]

Just be picky. It's a sure fire way to get over someone while still hanging out with them. UNLESS YOU ARE A CO-DEPENDENT JERK. The person might see your personality change and not like you anymore but that'd only happen beause you would be a doe eyed dolt anymore. So find all the problems with someone and think about them instead.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Kill them...nothing gets rid of annoying feelings like a cold, dead corpse....or lots of booze.....yeah, booze will do it too...and hookers....oh, and heroin. Start shooting up and you're only worry will be whose Bobo you'll have to honk to get that next hit O' smack

[James]

OK, the real world stuff is all good and fine, and I'm willing to admit that my outdoors time is limited, but I disagree that "real world" stuff makes you forget about things.

As for occupying my time in other ways, I've tried that. I've tried keeping my mind off the person, but things always bring me back to her, or I see/talk to her. And her first name is a noun/adjective, and I never noticed how often I see it used until I realized I really liked her.

I've tried to find faults, and there are plenty of them. But when you care about someone, it's hard to hold things against them. If you can dismiss a close friend who you also have feelings for just because you don't have the same taste in music, then you're worse off than me.

[wreckreation]

I didn't mean like taste in music as a fault. I meant like not wiping your ass as a fault.

[Protoclown]

So is this like a real live girl or someone you just know over the intenet and have never met in real life?

[kellychaos]

Turn off the monitor. Out of sight ... out of mind. :lol

[Jixby Phillips]

http://www.novirginsallowed.com/comics/kellychaos6.gif

[CaptainBubba]

Imagine her getting fucked by her depressingly disgusting boyfriend. Have yourself a nice chuckle imagining him dismount and grunt while she goes to the bathroom to finger herself and cry.

It helps even more if hes Jewish and shes not and hes just fucking her for kicks.

I'm actually not joking about this. I've gotten over two girls I was for years obssessed with by using this mental scenario.

[Helm]

What's the big deal? You just hop over the body and make for the nearest exit, careful not to get any blood on your shoes.

[Cap'n Crunch]

EAT HER

[Cosmo Electrolux]

James...if you find out, please let me know.

[AChimp]

Bubba made me :lol.

But seriously, the best thing you can do is just try to learn from the experience. For all the shit that I went through in the summer, I don't think that I'd trade it in for anything, because, believe it or not, I learned a lot about myself and what not to do.

What does not kill you makes you stronger! :conan

[soundtest]

What does not kill you makes you stronger! :conan

OR

"That which does not kill us makes us stranger" :trevorgoodchild

http://www.evilscience.net/institutions/halloffame/trev.jpg

[AChimp]

You know, that works too. :/

[ginmortal]

You just won't be able to get over her, unless you actually try, it might make you feel like a jerk, but you have to meet other girls and go out with them, even if it hurts.

Im now happily married, but lately I've been thinking a lot about my first ex, she just got divorced, and actually made a comment of "why didn't we get married?", sure, now that I can't, she says it, damn whore, filthy bitch, I should get my gun and kill her, burn her house and piss on the ashes...

Oh, by the way, yeah, I have nice feelings towards her, but Im in no rush to divorce my wife to be with her, sure, she's beautiful, smart, makes a ton of money and has no kids, but hey, what the hell, what makes me think that this time it'll work?? We're the same people, with the same goals from 10 years ago, if it happened, there's no real reason for it to work out.

In the end you have to do whatever you really like, meet someone in the process and live happily ever after, it sure is a pain in the ass, but it works out.

And you should enjoy being depressed, it won't happen often.

[James]

Yeah, because it's such an option for me to go date. If I had other girls I could be with, this would never be a problem.

Don't focus on the fact that this particular time, it's an internet girl. I'm just talking in general, about liking a girl who doesn't like you back, but not wanting to lose the friendship when trying to stop liking her.

[noob3]

you cant get over an internet girl? fag

[soundtest]

liking a girl who doesn't like you back, but not wanting to lose the friendship when trying to stop liking her

Numbers guy can you post the Ladder theory link AGAIN please.

[O71394658]

Put it in favorites. :picklehat

The Ladder Theory. (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html)

[James]

you cant get over an internet girl? fag

I'll keep that in mind next time you want me to get you porn. >:

Blah blah Ladder Theory. I know all about that, and have it bookmarked, but it certainly doesn't address the stopping of feelings from the male's situation. It just says "If a guy finds you attractive, you can't be friends." But I figure there's got to be a way to make yourself stop finding someone attractive/liking them, that doesn't consist of never talking to them or seeing them again. Especially since I know I'm always going to see this particular person around often.

[Bod]

the obvious answer is get drunk and if you stay drunk long enough, by the time you sober up you've forgotton.

a healthier answer is get together with a good frien. write down everything that is crap about this person and tell your mate. then everytime you whine about this person, your mate will refer to the list until you feel better

[KevinTheOmnivore]

I'm going through a problem similar to this, I guess. I moved from NY to Texas, so my girlfriend 0f 3-4 years and I basically broke up. So now she's dating some douche bag in an "indie rock" band, and she has just basically become sort of indifferent, at times cold to me. This really hurts me, because she is my best friend, she's the closest person to me in the world, compounded by the fact that I'm in a new place and alone.

So, I basically just figured it was over, life sucks, and it was time to move on. But she strings me along, she tells me she loves me and that she wants to be with me "down the road," or "in the future," but she can't clearly define when or where that is. So in the meantime, she wants us to be "friends," while she gets to have her cake and eat it to. I on the other hand, am a miserable mess, and I just wait for this "down the road" to arrive. I told her to stop calling me, that I need to break away to get over her, but she just called me more, and for a couple of days anyway was really sweet and loving. Now she's back to indifferent and cold, and I feel like I need to distance myself, get over her, but I can't. She said she'd keep calling me. :(

[wreckreation]

Typical story. She is afraid to jump ship till she is sure about her landing. Forget about her kevin. It won't work out positively for you unless the guy is a real jerk and then she will just be picking you 2nd and you don't want a girl like that.

[Perndog]

The opposite of love is indifference. Make yourself indifferent. Don't try to dislike the girl or find flaws in her. Just stop caring. No one can tell you how, because it's a different thing for each of us. Take all that advice about finding someone else, occupying yourself with something, etc. and translate that into something that works for you.

My method? I can just tell myself that she's not important, that there are or will be others, and that she doesn't *deserve* my attention. I don't have to make myself hate her specifically, I just drop her into that mental bucket with the faceless 90% of humanity I just generally dislike.