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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Oct 24th, 2003 11:42 PM | |||
| cow-go-moo |
i like glazed the best 
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| Oct 23rd, 2003 06:53 PM | |||
| Helm | rockin' parabole! | ||
| Oct 23rd, 2003 05:28 PM | |||
| Zbu Manowar | Isn't morality what assholes use to guilt people into thinking their own way, no matter how insane and nonsensical it is? | ||
| Oct 23rd, 2003 12:46 PM | |||
| Protoclown | i like donuts | ||
| Oct 23rd, 2003 10:49 AM | |||
| Anonymous | hahahaha | ||
| Oct 23rd, 2003 01:55 AM | |||
| soundtest |
The Parable of the Jelly Donut by Hermotimus Boukephalos Once upon a time a man was minding his own business when a Great Man approached him and handed him a jelly donut. Now, the man wasn't hungry, and he didn't particularly want a jelly donut - he certainly hadn't asked the Great Man for the jelly donut (had he been asking, he would've asked for a chocolate donut). But people said the Great Man knew what you really wanted and needed, even if you didn't (he was, after all, "the Great Man" on all matters, including that), and so the man meekly accepted the gift. "Thank you for this jelly donut, great Man," he said. The man went on about his way, carrying the jelly donut. People who claimed to be Authorities on the Great Man said to him that he should be grateful for the donut bestowed on him by the Great Man. "I did say 'thank you,'" the man replied. "Did you say, 'Thank you, Great Man, for the rich red raspberry filling'?" they asked. "Uh, no, not specifically." "Did you say, 'Thank you, Great Man, for the beautiful pink icing and the colorful sprinkles on top'?" "Um… no," the man answered. "You know, honestly, I don't care for sprinkles on a donut. They don't really have any flavor, and sometimes they get stuck between my teeth. And the icing is beginning to melt and run all over my fingers." "Oh, you wicked, ungrateful man!" shouted the Authorities. "The jelly donut is a gift from the Great Man, and it is your responsibility to take care of it!" "'Take care of it'?" the man asked. "I was going to eat it." "Oh no! The gift of the jelly donut is in itself proof of what a Great Man the Great Man is, and it belongs to Him to decide what to do with it. You must not give in to your lustful appetites and wantonly consume the gift! You must take care of it and hold it up as an example of His greatness!" So the man listened to the Authorities, and carried around the jelly donut as a sign of the Great Man's great generosity. The Authorities showed up from time to time to remind him that he must repeatedly say "Thank you, Great Man" for the gift of the jelly donut. Naturally, the jelly donut began to go stale after a few days. The pink icing got all runny and dribbled, not only all over his fingers, but onto other people the man was in contact with. When the man asked the Authorities about the problem of the runny icing, he was told it was part of the Great Man's plan, and that the fact that ordinary people couldn't see the wonder and good of runny icing didn't mean that it wasn't a Great thing - it must be Great - it came from the Great Man. Still, other people didn't see the runny icing as a wonderful thing, part of the gift, when it dribbled on their carpet and stained their furniture - they became angry at the man for dribbling sticky icing on their things. And the Great Man did a strange thing from time to time: He would come upon the man, walking along, carrying his jelly donut, and would sprinkle ants on the donut. The man took the ant-infested donut to the Authorities. "The Great Man surely intends that I throw away the donut, now" he said. "Look, He has put ants on it." "The ants are just the Great Man's way of testing you, to see how much you cherish the magnificent gift He has presented you. Don't you dare show your disregard for the jelly donut - pick off the ants." So, taking care of the jelly donut soon began to take all of the man's time - picking ants off the icing, trying to poke the now- rancid raspberry jelly back in, where it had oozed out of holes eaten by the ants, retrieving sprinkles that had fallen off the donut. Once, the Great man stuck out a foot as the man walked by, tripping him. The man picked up the jelly donut, cried a bit, then said, "Thank you, Great Man, for the gift of this jelly donut," as he brushed off the gravel and dust from the donut and continued on his way. Still, despite his best efforts, the donut was really becoming disgusting. Searching for an understanding of this all-consuming task, the man went to listen to the Authorities. "Donut-care is a life of woe," said the Authorities. "Praise be to the Great Man who gives us these donuts." The Authorities recognized that, eventually, every donut would rot, or perhaps the Great Man would come take it back. But they differed about what happened after that. Some said that a person simply had a peaceful time, free of the cares of donut ownership. Some said that people who properly cared for their donuts eventually got to go to a pastry shop, where all the donuts were fresh and delicious. Still other Authorities said that a person was just given another donut, but if the person had done a good job taking care of this donut, then the next donut would be a better one. One day, the man's donut simply fell apart. Maggots had long since consumed the jelly filling, and the hard dry shell of pastry crumbled into dust and sifted through his fingers. Ants scurried away with the last little bits of colored sprinkles. The man was sitting on the ground, staring at his empty, sticky hand, when the Great Man approached. "Oh, Great Man, thank you again for the gift of the jelly donut," said the man. "You're welcome," said the Great Man. "But… may I ask a question? Why is it such a burden to carry a donut and care for it, only to have it rot in my hand?" "I've been wondering about that, myself," said the Great Man. "Why on earth were you carrying that rotting donut around all these weeks?" "The Authorities told me it was a gift from you, that I was obliged to take care of it for you until you took it back." "Uh... yeah. It was a GIFT. I GAVE it to you. It was YOURS. To give it away, to throw it away, to say 'Thanks but no thanks.' To EAT it, for God's sake! I can't think of a more stupid thing to do with something perishable than to carry it around, trying to make it last as long as possible, instead of enjoying it while it's fresh and, if it gets stale before you finish it, to discard it." The Great Man looked disgusted. "But the Authorities told me the donut really belonged to you, that I was just a steward of your gift," said the man, looking distraught. "That's another thing. You go around thanking me all the time for this donut. If it belongs to me, and you're taking care of it for me, shouldn't I be the one thanking you? I mean, if I go out of town for a few days and ask my neighbor to feed the cat for me, I don't expect the neighbor to send me a 'Thank You' card for it." "But how was I to know it was alright for me to discard the donut?" The man was almost frantic now at the thought of all the pointless effort. "Well, you could begin with common sense. And it's not like I didn't try to help you get rid of the donut - I sprinkled ants on it! I tripped you and made you drop it in the dirt! What does it take for you to get the hint and just let go of it?" |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 11:26 PM | |||
| ScruU2wice |
Quote:
 i really don't think mike was really talking about killing himself just trying to ask a philosophical question. Everyone has there own opinion and you can't point and some one and tell them its wrong for their views on the value of life. i personally do believe that suicide in most circumstances is wrong because there is always a reason to live, with few exceptions. Someone will always miss you, because rarely (or never) do people go there whole lives not interacting with other people, so people will notice when you are gone. Im a real faith drive person and i believe that life is the greatest gift god gave us so suicide except under the most extreme circumstances is wrong... |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 10:57 PM | |||
| kahljorn |
"That statement might be true for Baptists who generally have little notion of what Christianity is, or Methodists which are largely considered Baptists that can read, so on and so forth et cetera ad infinitum. " That made me laugh so hard. Also, roach, you have to realize you just sinned! According to god's word. Damn right. |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 09:53 PM | |||
| The_Rorschach |
"And Vince, I know Catholics can't kill themselves, but I thought most Protestants believed everything is okay as long as you believe in the saving power of Jesus?" Largely that depends upon what denomination you are. That statement might be true for Baptists who generally have little notion of what Christianity is, or Methodists which are largely considered Baptists that can read, so on and so forth et cetera ad infinitum. I'm an Irish Protestant however and I tend to adhere strictly to sola scriptorus, that the Bible is the literal word of God. We're more strict than most Catholics on issues of doctrine. Suicide would be considered a sin in this case. |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 04:30 PM | |||
| kahljorn |
I can't kill myself because it's illegal and they might put my dead body in a prison cell. Idiots. Only parapaligics and vegetables and shit can't kill themselves, and they are the one's that can manage a "legal right" to. If you need someone's permission to kill yourself, or moreover someone's hand to hold, then you are witnessing natural boundaries placed for a specific reason... so your whiny ass won't kill yourself. Now shut up! FUCK IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO KILL YOURSELF, YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE. YOU DONT NEED TO FOLLOW THE FUCKING LAW TO DIE, YOU JUST NEED TO PULL A TRIGGER. TRIGGER PULLING DOES NOT EQUAL LAW FOLLOWING. Therefore discussion of this topic is pointless and null, simply because perhaps the LEGALITY of the issue is to scare stupid fuck people off who won't do it themselves, and even if that were not the intent of the law, it still serves that purpose. |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 03:46 PM | |||
| kellychaos |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 02:16 PM | |||
| Perndog |
He also doesn't want to go to hell. And Vince, I know Catholics can't kill themselves, but I thought most Protestants believed everything is okay as long as you believe in the saving power of Jesus? |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 01:00 PM | |||
| Protoclown | you're shallow and stupid | ||
| Oct 22nd, 2003 12:57 PM | |||
| VinceZeb |
Mike, it depends on your beliefs. If you are of the Judeo-Christian faith, then suicide is one of the gravest things you could ever do. It's a one-way ticket to Hell. Now, in the "legal" context, I do not believe it is illegal to take your own life. I personally believe it is a real wimp way to end your existance, but if shallow and stupid people want to off themselves, then I'm not stopping ya. |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 07:55 AM | |||
| FS | ha,ha, yes, he's one of the scarce funny ones at I-MOCKERY DOT COM | ||
| Oct 22nd, 2003 05:12 AM | |||
| blackheart |
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| Oct 22nd, 2003 04:53 AM | |||
| The_Rorschach | Christ. . .I'm not surprised YOU didn't commit suicide, I'm surprised you weren't killed by someone else. | ||
| Oct 22nd, 2003 04:44 AM | |||
| blackheart |
Quote:
You don't ask to live. You don't ask to die. However, it's empowering to others to be able to end their own life, like you said. I think it is more justifiable if they have a chronic illness, yet I understand what it's like to be trapped in your own misery. I used to suffer from terrible depression, partly from how people treated me, partly from how I treated myself, and partly from my own brain mechanisms. I had a definite urge to kill myself. When you are in constant pain, the only way to end it is drugs or death. I got out of the rut and I'm glad that I never died, but I can sympathize with those who want to. I think it's ridiculous we still debate over old people wanting to kill themselves or those with serious non-curable diseases. Allow them to. Death with dignity, not with suffering. It's okay. I think a lot of us are scared of death. It's a natural process. And those who think suicide is "selfish" are the ones being selfish themselves; if you love something, let it go. By all means, do whatever you kind to counsel the person and prolong it. But in most cases, if their condition is untreatable, it may be the last resort to their freedom. [edit] I also believe suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... but until you walk in the person's shoes, you don't know what's going on in their head. People are quick to judge, and quick to snap some witty remark about this issue *cough* but on a serious note, it's one of those "touchy, slighty offensive" subjects that should be discussed more instead of pushed under the proverbial rug. |
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| Oct 21st, 2003 09:01 PM | |||
| The_Rorschach |
"Think about this, really." Actually I had, it was supposed to be a really bad pun, but I think I've failed miserably. . . 
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| Oct 21st, 2003 05:48 PM | |||
| Helm |
Yeah about 30 to 35 is good, I think :glennbenton If I don't have something really worthwhile going by then to push the date back, I'm thinking of setting myself on fire at that age I'm nonsiderate my friends will only have to kick my charred carcass to bits and gather my dust instead of having to wash off blood or as Ror pointed out, having to clean my faithful waste off the carpet. Suicide isn't stupid if you're doing it because it's funny. |
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| Oct 21st, 2003 05:29 PM | |||
| soundtest |
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 ) is irrelevant; the fact that I control my own destiny is quite empowering.However, the only thing I'm really certain of in this life is that I'm a hypocrite so ask me next week and I'll probably give you a different answer. |
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| Oct 21st, 2003 05:13 PM | |||
| Helm |
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| Oct 20th, 2003 09:01 PM | |||
| The_Rorschach |
"Think about this, really." Oh, sorry, for the anatomically anal retentives, bladder muscles AND SPHINCTER. I rather thought it was implied, but if people need their hands held, by all means. |
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| Oct 20th, 2003 04:08 PM | |||
| kellychaos |
That poetry will only inspire weak individuals to do likewise!  Keep writing away!!
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| Oct 20th, 2003 03:43 PM | |||
| Anonymous | Yeah, and stop writing that damned poetry. | ||
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