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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Mar 7th, 2003 01:38 PM | ||
| Anonymous |
How do you separate the greek men from the boys? A dead baby! |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 01:35 PM | ||
| AChimp |
Sue him. Or something. 
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| Mar 7th, 2003 01:14 PM | ||
| Helm |
HE DIDN'T GO THAT FAR OR I'M SURE I'D HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO STOP HIM 
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| Mar 7th, 2003 12:41 PM | ||
| Protoclown |
Quote:
TO FUCK A LITTLE BOY IN THE ASS 
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| Mar 7th, 2003 12:34 PM | ||
| glowbelly | **insert predictable greek joke here** | |
| Mar 7th, 2003 12:30 PM | ||
| Protoclown | We'll have to send an I-Mock beatdown squad over to Greece, I'm thinking... | |
| Mar 7th, 2003 12:11 PM | ||
| sadie |
i'm thinking i can't blame him.
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| Mar 7th, 2003 10:40 AM | ||
| Misinformation Man |
DID YOU KNOW: Doctors, back in Colonial Times, were also required to sing. It was believed that a soothing melody would help cure many diseases. |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 10:38 AM | ||
| noob3 |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 10:36 AM | ||
| Helm |
Taking advantage of a man in his time of weakness... Shame on you! Oh, but sorry man, I'll pass. I'm too good for you. |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 10:33 AM | ||
| James |
The second choice, you hunk of manmeat. 
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| Mar 7th, 2003 10:30 AM | ||
| Helm | Now, was that you trying to be funny, trying to hit on me, or being casually dismissive? | |
| Mar 7th, 2003 10:25 AM | ||
| James |
Never use the word "cock" unless you're speaking in an erotic sense. In cases like doctor molestation, you should always refer to your genitals as jibbly jangies. Still, this was better than most of the porn stories I end up reading. Oh, and sorry the scary Doctor Strangelove fondled your jibbly jangies. |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 09:19 AM | ||
| slavemason |
Revenge is much more warming and satisfying than soup. Get him... |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 08:54 AM | ||
| Darryl |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 08:44 AM | ||
| Helm | That's not gonna save his ass! RETRIBUTION! REVENGE! RIGHTEOUS FIRESTORM TO CLEANSE!! | |
| Mar 7th, 2003 08:26 AM | ||
| noob3 | Maybe he performed a secret flu-cureing-ball-wiggling technique. | |
| Mar 7th, 2003 08:08 AM | ||
| Helm |
My temperature's hastly dropping, but a cold resolve to have some friends of mine track the man down and do more than to just wiggle his balls is slowly and surely rising... :serious |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 06:20 AM | ||
| FS |
Damn. The moment I saw this topic I thought this'd be a great opportunity to whip out that old "did he take your temperature with both hands on your shoulders?" joke, but this isn't much of a laughing matter. What a sick freak. |
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| Mar 7th, 2003 06:13 AM | ||
| Helm |
Doctors are jerks. Last year, about the same time, I caught the flu, and due to me taking it lightly, a pretty strong case of pneumonia gave it to me good too. It could have left me some permanent damage if I didn't look out for it from since then, so I've been trying not to get the seasonal flu this time around, but to no avail. At least since the dipshit that decided it was okay to come to his friends' band's rehearsal without mentioning he was with the flu, couldn't have been avoided, (Uhh... 15 feet cube room full of sweaty met exerting themselves over musical instruments and headbanging, hello?) I decided to play it safe and not leave my house for the duration of the virus. So, this is the seventh day of a fierce case of flu I've been down with. Headaches, weakness, hellish fever, vomit, the whole deal. Thankfully, it peaked at the fourth day and now it's winding down, but it's been a hell of a week. And to top it all off, I've had a doctor perform a physical examination on me today. He was a middle-aged man, with a cropped mustache and a hat. I know the mustache should have tipped me off to something not being right, but anyway. He rest his doctor kid by the fucking bed and instructed me to strip to my boxers. First mistake. Last time I had the flu, the doctor asked me to strip to my waist. I disregard it, thinking "boxers, wait, same difference!". Woe. Little did I know what fate awaited me. Then he went to perform stethoscope examinations like he should with a minimal of fuss, and with total absence of feeling, like most doctors of his age. He asked me to cough, I did, he asked me to breathe deep, I did. Then he started feeling the lungs, the stomach, applying pressure to see what's up and what made me cough. I was more prepared to see him suddenly picking up my Les Paul lying by the bed and letting rip a wailing Van Hallen solo, while discolights came out of the woodwork and he said "I used to do this for a living, son!" than what happened. The dude slipped his hand into my boxers in the most casual of manners and pilfered my cock. Relaxed, methodically, he wiggled my balls, and while doing it, turned to look at me. Not with a shit-eating grin that I could have handled(by punching it), but with the most passive of looks. For a moment I thought he was expecting me to cough. I'd love to say how I went 'Hey Mister get your freakin' hand off my fucking dick!" and pushed him away, or even more macho-like stood up and went "Flu or no flu I'm kicking your ass, man!" but I did neither. I sat there, with my face having lost all color, frozen, while this strange man with a cropped mustache was feeling his way around my penis. I felt completely and utterly violated. He finished his 'examination' and arrived at the expected results: No, I didn't have a pneumonia. No I didn't have the flu so bad either and it would get away without any serious medication. Yes, the examination was 60 bucks. When I handed him the money with a trembling hand, I felt like a complete moron. I was paying him to treat me like a little bitch. He then left, and as much as I'd like to, I didn't cry. Now, before you begin to rationalize, there's no fucking relation between cock and flu. You can't fucking tell if you're down with it by touching it any more than you can by touching your cheek. And the dude did touch practically everywhere he could before going there. It was his finishing touch. I'd like to believe there's some rational explanation on why I've been treated like a manwhore, but sadly I see none. I also lack the desire to obtain revenge by setting his kids on fire or something equally drastic. Maybe it is because the sweetness of such revenge is lost on the dull taste buds of the one down with the flu. However, I've arrived to this two conclusions. First, if you have the flu, last it out on your own. Second, and more importantly, don't pay money to old men to touch your genitals.  Fuck you. |
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