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Mar 1st, 2006 03:21 AM
CaptainBubba This is a very simple situation.

First, make sweet sweet love to her down by the riverside on old man McFinkle's waterfront catfish farm. When you cum inside her vagina grab her tightly by the ankle and using just the strength of the left side of your body raise her high into the air and let her go, propelling her into the clear night sky. If she flies away and/or cackles she is indeed a witch and you will die from AIDS or the consumption. Otherwise she will fall back to earth and break her neck but die as a good christian with a pure soul.

Under no circumstances say "hey do you want to get tested" or the like because she will get upset and mad at you.

Seriously though when you get to know her the problem will solve itself. For now just use a condom, dont be such a pussy.
Feb 28th, 2006 04:23 AM
GADZOOKS If you told her you already your a virgin, say you had some questionable blood tranfusions in the past.
Feb 28th, 2006 01:42 AM
Matt Harty Buddy, use a condom. it's alot harder to have direct contact with her evil fluids that way.

Keep your face away from the baby place, keep your hands away from your mouth, and enjoy your first trip to slut town. Oh and don't kiss her, she's probably sucked around 300 different dicks.
Feb 27th, 2006 05:27 PM
liquidstatik 'cause we're being mature about it. :o
Feb 27th, 2006 05:24 PM
Terra I spelled AIDS wrong. Somebody should have taken me down for that too.
Feb 27th, 2006 03:56 PM
Esuohlim OK Terra, this isn't Mock Wars. I thought you were going to behave yourself, you're on probation until further notice. :bape
Feb 27th, 2006 03:34 PM
Terra
Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidstatik
You're getting way too into this.
Yeah. I can see your point.

But then again I'm not the idiot that started this thread.
Feb 27th, 2006 02:00 PM
ItalianStereotype buuuuut you already told her you're a virgin :<
Feb 27th, 2006 01:51 PM
liquidstatik Oh, and I'm going with GADZOOKS' idea.
Feb 27th, 2006 01:51 PM
MetalMilitia I've got a feeling this is all going to turn out OK
Feb 27th, 2006 01:51 PM
liquidstatik You're getting way too into this.
Feb 27th, 2006 01:43 PM
Terra
Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidstatik
Well, I'm still a virgin. I've already told her that, so she knows im clean. :o

I guess I'll just ask her, and if she goes on some crazy im-no-slut speech, i'm kicking your ass.
Then there's another issue; what if she doesn't KNOW if she has Aides or HIV or some other STD as might be rumored by others?! What is this is just all conjecture on you part and your just buying into a bunch of rumors? What if she really isn't a slut?! The big date is going to determine if you and she are even compatible with each other, let alone any of the other noise you seem to be concerned about. Why not just relax and enjoy the time with her without worrying about if your going to die as a result of some hopeful encounter with her.

I don't know how old you are but if your frothing over what her reputaion is, your probably not going to be in this relationship very long. And if your a forty year old virgin, you deserve to die a puss ridden death for waiting so long and then being obsessed about somebody else's reputation, rather than the fact that nobody wanted you enough to give you a lingering disease.

Oh never mind. Just ask her if she's a saggy cunt diseased slut and then come back into Mock Wars and kick my ass.

I have a feeling this won't take very long.
Feb 27th, 2006 01:17 PM
MetalMilitia But if you just ask her then it's like saying "IM PLANNING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU" and she might be all offended because you are assuming that she is easy or something.
Feb 27th, 2006 01:03 PM
liquidstatik Well, I'm still a virgin. I've already told her that, so she knows im clean. :o

I guess I'll just ask her, and if she goes on some crazy im-no-slut speech, i'm kicking your ass.
Feb 27th, 2006 12:55 PM
Terra
Re: I don't want AIDS :<

Yup it's always better to be safe than sorry. Do you ever wonder if she might be thinking the same thing about you?

Typically, as was brought up before this is all going to come out in the normal # date # isn't it? I just don't think your going to have a problem with it once you really get to know her.

However if your curiosity has you festering for an answer, just ask her. You know as in, "Hey I really want to fuck you somewhere down the line but I'm not going to get more than I bargained for am I?"
Feb 27th, 2006 12:42 PM
liquidstatik
Re: I don't want AIDS :<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terra
Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidstatik
Okay, so I met this girl. She's real sweet, quite, and cute. Anyway, I keep hearing she's a slut. But, of course, it'd be rude to say "HEY BABY, DO YOU MIND TAKING THIS TEST, I DON'T WANT AIDS."

So, what should I do?
Why can't you just go out with her, have a nice time, get to know her and let the conversation go from there??

If you would rather listen to rumor, then allow that to color the whole thing and possibly lose out on (maybe) the finest woman you ever met. If you and she really like each other, I'm sure other relationships are going to come up (and by the way, what about YOUR sexual exploits, if any??) and you can both take it from there.

I'm just waiting for one of you guys to start a thread called "I'm such a fucking idiot, I HOPE I don't pass that disease on to the woman I love!"

So, I never said I wasn't going to get to know her first. And, I never said that I don't trust her, and im going to put all my belief into a rumor. But, it's better safe than sorry, right?

All I was asking is how to bring it up in conversation. If I just out and say "HEY BABE, GOT AIDS??" there's a big chance she might find that insulting.

And, as for the "I'm such a fucking idiot.." I have no idea what you're talking about, so calm down. :o
Feb 27th, 2006 10:58 AM
ziggytrix there's no AIDS in Ashdown
Feb 27th, 2006 06:09 AM
Bod Agree 100% with the above. If you spend time getting to know her, broaching such subjects as previous partners will not be so hard.
Feb 27th, 2006 12:16 AM
Terra
Re: I don't want AIDS :<

Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidstatik
Okay, so I met this girl. She's real sweet, quite, and cute. Anyway, I keep hearing she's a slut. But, of course, it'd be rude to say "HEY BABY, DO YOU MIND TAKING THIS TEST, I DON'T WANT AIDS."

So, what should I do?
Why can't you just go out with her, have a nice time, get to know her and let the conversation go from there??

If you would rather listen to rumor, then allow that to color the whole thing and possibly lose out on (maybe) the finest woman you ever met. If you and she really like each other, I'm sure other relationships are going to come up (and by the way, what about YOUR sexual exploits, if any??) and you can both take it from there.

I'm just waiting for one of you guys to start a thread called "I'm such a fucking idiot, I HOPE I don't pass that disease on to the woman I love!"

Feb 26th, 2006 10:52 PM
Sethomas Condoms are good to keep from males getting AIDS, but for a male HIV positive person fucking a girl, it's a bit riskier. So I infer from ultra-conservative panels, at least. So, eh.

I'd love to have HIV at this point, 'cuz I'd rather not have to figure out what to do with my life after grad school.
Feb 26th, 2006 05:48 PM
liquidstatik my bum needs a rest. :x
Feb 26th, 2006 05:43 PM
Chojin why are you having sex with a girl
Feb 26th, 2006 04:40 PM
liquidstatik Good christian girl doesn't mean much in this town. :o
Feb 26th, 2006 04:35 PM
maggiekarp Ask her if she's a good Christian girl
Feb 26th, 2006 04:17 PM
Guitar Woman make her take the test

I couldn't stand it if you died right after you came back to the forums
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