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Jun 19th, 2008 12:58 PM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by McClain View Post
I recall a few years ago when I was being tested for what doctors thought might have been IBS. So I had to deuce in a dixie cup. I would have preferred an ice cream tub as my anus' aim wasn't clutch.
A dixie cup? Gross! Did you have to do it at the hospital instead of at home or something?
Jun 19th, 2008 08:35 AM
McClain I recall a few years ago when I was being tested for what doctors thought might have been IBS. So I had to deuce in a dixie cup. I would have preferred an ice cream tub as my anus' aim wasn't clutch.
Jun 19th, 2008 07:13 AM
Sethomas I want this thread to take bizarre plot turns, assume a romantic aspect that doesn't seem suitable to the normal flow of character development but helps out with the market appeal, and then end with a shocker culmination of various plot points that at once violates our sense of judgment yet teaches us something about being human.
Jun 18th, 2008 10:10 AM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
I don't want this thread to end
In a way, I was almost hoping it would be a parasite. At least with a parasite we'd know what was wrong and how to get rid of it and I wouldn't be taking Compazine.
Jun 17th, 2008 10:18 PM
Tadao I don't want this thread to end
Jun 17th, 2008 04:54 PM
Jeanette X Update: Well, it turns out that the stool sample and the blood test came back negative. No parasites in my guts. They're scheduling some scans, hopefully they will be able to diagnose what's wrong with me and we won't have to move onto a colonoscopy.
Jun 13th, 2008 12:20 PM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
As bad as that must have been, imagine how it is to be on the other end. I've been manning a desk many a time when some random person comes in off the street with a jar of shit...and they're not all sanitary people or tightly sealed jars, let me tell you.

My favorite was the lady who brought in her kid, still smelling of shit, plopping him down on the counter, and loudly declared, "HE GOTS PINWORM." Then she knocked over the shit-sample (it looked like a sherbet container with handles) and it landed facedown on my keyboard. Thankfully, the lid was on.
EEEW! At least I had the courtesy to collect and bag the samples cleanly and properly! You poor bastard.
Quote:
Stool samples aren't good news for anyone. Here's hoping you're parasite free.
Thank you. I hope so too.
Jun 13th, 2008 11:37 AM
Kitsa As bad as that must have been, imagine how it is to be on the other end. I've been manning a desk many a time when some random person comes in off the street with a jar of shit...and they're not all sanitary people or tightly sealed jars, let me tell you.

My favorite was the lady who brought in her kid, still smelling of shit, plopping him down on the counter, and loudly declared, "HE GOTS PINWORM." Then she knocked over the shit-sample (it looked like a sherbet container with handles) and it landed facedown on my keyboard. Thankfully, the lid was on.

Stool samples aren't good news for anyone. Here's hoping you're parasite free.

(Aren't you glad that doctors don't work like the vets and they don't stick a q-tip up your bum to get it out if you can't produce a sample? Heh.)
Jun 12th, 2008 01:40 PM
Fathom Zero http://youtube.com/watch?v=WvH5W_KXBWo
Jun 12th, 2008 01:08 PM
Geggy I KNEW you were full of shit, jeanette!
Jun 12th, 2008 11:07 AM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
seven force would have wanted her to dance in it
Is it bad that I find that mental image more amusing than disturbing?
Jun 12th, 2008 07:30 AM
Chojin seven force would have wanted her to dance in it and then post pictures of her feet.

and be asian while doing it.
Jun 12th, 2008 02:12 AM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
Self pity is hot!
Jun 12th, 2008 01:36 AM
Tadao Self pity is hot!
Jun 12th, 2008 12:53 AM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
It's too late now but I was going to tell you to tape yourself doing it because I'm sure Seven Force would have wanted it
You wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway. Just me crouched on the bathroom floor with my butt planted firmly in an large empty ice cream tub, with a look of self-pity on my face.
Jun 12th, 2008 12:29 AM
Esuohlim It's too late now but I was going to tell you to tape yourself doing it because I'm sure Seven Force would have wanted it
Jun 11th, 2008 07:11 PM
dj bastard
Jun 11th, 2008 06:37 PM
Tadao Why did piglet have his head in the toilet?

Spoilers!
Jun 11th, 2008 06:32 PM
Tadao http://fecalphiliac.blogspot.com/
Jun 11th, 2008 06:28 PM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
I can never get their tiny legs open far enough.
Jun 11th, 2008 06:23 PM
Tadao
Jun 11th, 2008 06:22 PM
Tadao
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanette X View Post
it smelled sort of like mothballs.
I can never get their tiny legs open far enough.
Jun 11th, 2008 06:20 PM
Jeanette X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
How did it smell when you cut into it?
Well, I had the collar of my shirt over my nose, but for some reason it smelled sort of like mothballs.
Jun 11th, 2008 06:19 PM
Tadao How did it smell when you cut into it?
Jun 11th, 2008 05:44 PM
Jeanette X Well, I crapped into the container at 4:00 PM EST. I stood up and looked down at it, and decided that there was enough in there for my purposes, so I did the rest into the toilet. I am oddly proud that I was able to scoop it into the containers and mix it into the solutions without gagging, and without getting any on my hands or on the outsides of vials, which I then carefully labeled after screwing shut and washing my hands throughly. The remainder went into the main specimen jar, which was also carefully labeled by me after I screwed it shut and washed my hands again, even though none of it got on my hands at all. I double bagged the vials and put them into an opaque plastic bag. I then double-bagged the main specimen jar, put it into the same opaque bag, and stapled the bag shut. I then sealed the plastic spoons into the now empty ice cream container, triple bagged it, washed my hands a third time, and put it outside in the garbage can. I brought the bag to the hospital, where I explained why I was there to lab receptionist. She looked warily at the bag.

"Is that the stool sample in there?"

"Yes."

"Did you fill out the labels?"

"Yep. Followed the instructions on the kit to the letter."

"Oh, good."

She takes the bag and sets it aside. I wait, wondering if she has any more questions. She glances up at me.

"I'm not going to check it. I'll take your word for it."

"Heh heh, okay."

I sat down, waited, had blood drawn, went home, and it was all over and done with. All in all, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. It was just a matter of reminding myself that it came out of me, and that I therefore wasn't going to catch anything from it that I didn't already have. I'm just glad its over with and I hope that I won't have to do it again.

What's amusing is that the kit's instructions had special warnings on it not to drink the solution in the jars. I wasn't fucking planning on it! It also said to try to take the sample from areas of the stool that were slimy, which is puzzling, because shit is generally slimy by its very definition. I guess they meant areas that were especially slimy or something. Oh well, at least its over with now.
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