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Jun 21st, 2011 01:32 PM

Zhukov

It's not all it's cracked up to be, Kahl; living in the land that calls your mates cunts, and cunts mates.

Jun 21st, 2011 05:25 AM

executioneer

you can call people blokes you just have to street it up a little, call them bliggity blokes

Jun 21st, 2011 04:49 AM

kahljorn

i wish i lived somewhere that you could call people blokes

Jun 20th, 2011 06:01 PM

executioneer

i helped make lasagna for dinner, that's about it

Jun 20th, 2011 05:50 PM

Chojin

i didn't get my dad anything :< every time i do, he's just like 'oh neat' and then it sits in the corner of his warzone of a bedroom for the rest of eternity.

we went out to dinner with his father and my aunt and i did help him out from under the motorcycle he just bought. idk.

Jun 20th, 2011 05:18 PM

creeposaurus

Quote:

Kolchak took his love for his daughter a step further by personally checking the tires with a hand-held pressure gauge, but later felt embarrassed by the expression of intimacy

He really shouldn't spoil her that much. She'll probably expect a hug at this point

Jun 20th, 2011 05:04 PM

10,000 Volt Ghost

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fat...-for-pro,4180/

Jun 20th, 2011 05:02 PM

Tadao

Oh great, that's exactly what a dad wants to hang on to for the rest of his life. A crappy card from his daughter.

Jun 20th, 2011 04:23 PM

creeposaurus

His standards shouldn't be high since it was done by a 1 year old

Jun 20th, 2011 04:17 PM

Zhukov

Not a very good card then?

Jun 20th, 2011 04:10 PM

creeposaurus

Wow this thread just made Father's Day depressing. I'm sure glad my dad's dead/in prison/gay living with his boyfriend in Florida.

My daughter made her daddy a card. It got him teary eyed.

Jun 20th, 2011 03:31 PM

10,000 Volt Ghost

Angie's all mad now because for fathers day my mom got me a pack of wife beaters.

Jun 20th, 2011 02:01 PM

Tadao

He's good at being a barmate. That's a good dad to me.

Jun 20th, 2011 01:14 PM

Shrubfest

I realized I sounded proper whiney there. My dad's fine as a bloke and we're fairly alike. He's just not very good a being a dad.

Jun 20th, 2011 11:16 AM

Colonel Flagg

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer

do we all have the same dad somehow

I may have posted this one before, but .....

Little robin red breast
Sitting on a pole
"Tweet" went his beak
"Toot" went his hole.

Jun 20th, 2011 01:36 AM

10,000 Volt Ghost

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer

guys do

do we all have the same dad somehow

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos

When you become a dad they give you handbook with all that shit in it.

Daddbadjokes.com I was looking on here when we were expecting.

Also, where is mr. adventure?

Jun 19th, 2011 11:21 PM

Kitsa

I got Mr. Kitsa a cover for his kindle, and at his request we ate barbecue, watched Dexter, and then passed out for three hours.

For my dad, I got a legal reference on patents, copyrights and trademarks, since he's an engineer and a nerd.

Jun 19th, 2011 09:46 PM

Colonel Flagg

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest

I contemplated sending a text. Then forgot. Perhaps if he had acknowledged my birthdays or Christmas for the past few years, I would have. :brokenhome

I had a somewhat difficult relationship with my own dad, but it had gotten better over the years. This last year we had him over for Christmas dinner with all our kids, then later we visited him with my brother (from SF) and celebrated his 90th birthday.

This March he had a brain aneuyrism and passed away quite suddenly.

The point? Reconciliation is sometimes a good thing.

Jun 19th, 2011 09:37 PM

Otto

I haven't had a really good relationship with my dad, so father's days usually consist of me playing weird pranks on him. For example: my dad takes enough blood pressure medication, antidepressants, and painkillers to knock out five men and a full grown narwhal so he's usually in a stupor/coma for a good five hours out of the day. So yesterday I drove around the backroads until I found a dead possum, called to make sure dad was knocked out for a while, drove to his house, nailed the dead possum to his door, and stuck a christmas present bow on it.

This may sound like the actions of a sociopath or a serial killer, but it was actually revenge for father's day last year when I gave up my saturday to go fishing with him, passed out drunk, and he woke me up by putting a live crab down my shirt.

Jun 19th, 2011 08:50 PM

ThrashO

I got my dad the Silver-Screen Marx Brother collection. It's on DVD but he doesn't really care, plus why the fuck do you need black and white TV shows on blu-ray? We used to watch them and 3 Stooges all the time when I was a kid. Great stuff.

Jun 19th, 2011 08:13 PM

Esuohlim

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest

I contemplated sending a text. Then forgot. Perhaps if he had acknowledged my birthdays or Christmas for the past few years, I would have. :brokenhome

THIS POST MAKES ME A SAD DAD

Jun 19th, 2011 07:52 PM

Dimnos

When you become a dad they give you handbook with all that shit in it.

Jun 19th, 2011 06:42 PM

executioneer

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost

When passing by a cemetary dad says "you know kids this is the dead center of town."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov

Yeah, but people are still dying to get in.

guys do

do we all have the same dad somehow

Jun 19th, 2011 06:17 PM

Fathom Zero

My father called me. I was going to send him a text, though, until that.

Jun 19th, 2011 06:10 PM

Dimnos

That explains a lot.

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