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Dec 19th, 2011 09:04 PM
Colonel Flagg ^^^This reminds me....

Bring a "Buzzword Bingo" card to the interview to pass the time. Try to get the interviewer to say words like "resources" "kanban" or even "SYNERGY". You get two points if they use a compound buzzword like "win-win situation" and three points if the buzzword is adjectivized, like "synergistic". Each time you are successful say something like "BOOYAH!" or "AWRIGHT!" so they are completely confused.

It won't guarantee you anything more than the other side of the door you walked in, but it can be loads of fun.

EDIT - if at any point the interviewer says the word "paradigm" you WIN, and should do a little dance.
Dec 19th, 2011 04:16 PM
10,000 Volt Ghost YOU GOTTA PROMOTE SYNERGY.
Dec 19th, 2011 03:42 AM
ThrashO lol
Dec 16th, 2011 11:12 PM
Shyandquietguy I think the best thing to do is to start stacking things after he says "Alright then."

I've had one who literally talked my ear off and as if he had decided right after his second question to call it quits, he pulled out a preset questionnaire. He didn't write a damn thing down. I wish I did something but I hate making scenes.

Get bent Home Depot.

The only thing I can say is those interviews sound like they expect you to ask background questions of the company and expect you to be all psyched about being a team player.
Dec 16th, 2011 08:45 PM
Grislygus
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg View Post
"If you were a tree, what kind would it be?"
An oak tree, seeing as how one just sprung up in my lap...


...raised eyebrow
Dec 16th, 2011 08:09 PM
Colonel Flagg ^^^This.

Protip - If you're being interviewed by a woman, this trick may not work. Be observant!
Dec 16th, 2011 06:25 PM
kahljorn the best thing to do is ask them if they want a blowjob
Dec 16th, 2011 05:39 PM
ChrisGlass The best thing is to task them questions about their job. Gushing and getting them happy is a good trick.
Dec 15th, 2011 04:37 PM
cartooncart By the way, if they ask you if you have any questions, you should always prepare a question about stupid bullshit. I got a job and during the "do you have questions" period, I asked them about their policies on environmental issues, etc...
Dec 15th, 2011 01:35 PM
Aaarg you've seriously been asked that tree question? that's awesome.

i'd probably answer "tsuga canadensis because they're hard-working and get along well with co-workers and always show up on time!" but really it's because i'm being eaten to death by bugs
Dec 14th, 2011 07:20 AM
Colonel Flagg "If you were a tree, what kind would it be?"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Two of the stupidest interview questions ever asked.
Dec 13th, 2011 10:56 PM
BatmanJohnson I've never had an interview without questions. Weird. Mine are always the stereotypical interview questions that are supposed to give the interviewer insight into how you work. Only trouble I've ever had is when they ask me to talk about myself. I always freeze up when asked to describe myself.
Dec 13th, 2011 09:32 PM
ChrisGlass Sometimes people see interviews as ego trips, so they like to play god and do psychological bullshit to fuck with people.

I've been having to interview a ton of people lately, and I'm slowly getting better at it.
Dec 11th, 2011 04:38 AM
Tacobot Sorry to hear, i would pretty pissed off if someone wasted my time with some BS like that.
For all the shitty interviews i was doing recently, they would at the least try figure out if yer a psyco.
Dec 10th, 2011 07:09 PM
elx if you're applying for a desirable position in which two dozen other people have also applied to, don't expect them to know your resume at all -- they'll probably only graze through it a minute or so before the interview and during, so they end up not knowing anything about you from the start.

if you're applying for a poorly advertised availability, or one that nobody wants, they'll probably take the time to read your resume, and if you did it right, there shouldn't be any questions to begin with. so yeah.
Dec 10th, 2011 05:45 PM
Evil Robot II
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrashO View Post
When they ask me "hows does this you work well from 1 to 10" i always say "1" and they dont like it.

its because im number 1 at it
Yeah I don't think that sentence makes any sense. I sure hope you don't speak like you write.
Dec 10th, 2011 04:34 PM
kahljorn yea i thought you were supposed to be some hot chick esulohim

have some pride god damnit
Dec 10th, 2011 11:52 AM
Chojin
Quote:
"hows does this you work well from 1 to 10"
i guess you're on topic, since that isn't a question
Dec 10th, 2011 09:56 AM
10,000 Volt Ghost
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
The last interview I did was just for a grad student assistant job. He ended up talking my ear off for nearly 30 minutes and didn't really ask me much.

It was only between me and this one girl and I'm pretty sure I lost out on the job because the girl was hot
You should have interviewed as a hotter looking girl though.
Dec 10th, 2011 07:22 AM
ThrashO When they ask me "hows does this you work well from 1 to 10" i always say "1" and they dont like it.

its because im number 1 at it
Dec 9th, 2011 09:02 PM
kahljorn cocksuckers
Dec 9th, 2011 08:55 PM
Esuohlim The last interview I did was just for a grad student assistant job. He ended up talking my ear off for nearly 30 minutes and didn't really ask me much.

It was only between me and this one girl and I'm pretty sure I lost out on the job because the girl was hot
Dec 9th, 2011 08:40 PM
kahljorn

fuck all of those people

the only job i got offered an interview at recently sent me a fucking e-mail offering me the interview. So i went to their website to schedule an interview and it said they were all filled.

cocksuckers.
Dec 9th, 2011 08:17 PM
Dimnos My last interview turned out to be more of an orientation that ended with "can you start tonight?". The one before that... I walked in and sat down, the guy started telling me about the company then asked me "got any questions?". I asked "Yeah, did I get the job?". He says "no, not yet. I will call you.". Never heard from that guy.
Dec 9th, 2011 01:24 PM
Aaarg the last two interviews i had were essentially "do you want to work here?" "ok." "when can you start?"

and now i can't get an interview.


probably unlucky, though. i've never had a questionless interview.
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