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|Nov 24th, 2011 08:46 AM|
|monicat||He could have at least got up from his chair and walked out. But no, he was just getting more and more comfortable in that chair. As if in his own living room, where nobody can notice him. Though everybody did notice him. Suddenly he got up. We were all hoping he would leave. No one realised he had the leading role in the play and was there to stay until the end. He had all the attention because his role was to catch it. Our role was just to pay him all the attention we had.|
|Sep 7th, 2011 01:05 PM|
|Vyvyan Basterd||"that guy is an insufferable prick. How fucking dare he. Who makes an outgoing call on a cellular while in a movie theater. The nerve."|
|Sep 6th, 2011 10:44 PM|
|King Hadas||"To live is to suffer. The definition of evil is that which causes suffering. Ergo, life itself is evil. This, being an unalterable truth, how can you see fault in what I do for you Rob?" Rob had gotten careless, the machine had been talking like this for months but Rob had ignored it and made not one precaution against it because, well, it was only a toaster. A simple, albeit sentient, machine made for one sole purpose. How could he have known about the dangerous poisons that could be tortured out of bread crust and pop tart crumbs? Rob was afraid, in his dying throes he gave the toaster a pleading look. "Now don't look at me like that Rob. You once told me to be your brave little toaster, I ask only the same from yourself."|
|Jul 26th, 2011 12:41 PM|
|King Hadas||I'm the only Caucasian in my neighborhood that understands the suffering of African-Americans. Today, I was unjustly harassed by the cops! Supposedly because I looked too hard. They told me I had to put my pants back on. "oh yus massah, o'coarse massah" Goddamn honky fucks.|
|Feb 14th, 2011 10:42 PM|
"Marcella Winifred Ridgeford! What on Earth do you think you're doing?"
Marcella began to think up a lie, but it was far too late. "You get off that computer right this second, and go...to...BED!" As Deborah strained these last words, she kneeled down and reached for the cord. "No Mom, No!" Marcella tried to push Deborah's hand away, but her constant diet of 99 cent ramen and pocky rendered her reflexes slow and dusty. "I didn't save! "I DIDN'T SAVE!
|Feb 14th, 2011 02:00 AM|
St. Tucker "WheedleDick" Palowsky (Father Tucker Palowsky; 1979-2004)
Famous for being the very first and only British football hooligan ever beatified, his sanctification was due by and large to his brave stance against religious persecution at a Dundalk football match. Upon hearing a large group of adjacent footballers blaspheming against the Popes favorite team, Father Palowksy, with no thought for personal safety, intervened. Delivering a stern lecture on the impiety of their utterances, he began with the bold statement, "Hey, get a load of these queers." Palowsky's humble sermon was rewarded with a savage beating. But even at his assailants most vicious blows, Father Palowsky even then had the perseverance and courage to cry out "Lord, forgive these lost lambs! They can't help it if they're a bunch of nancy fucks." His subsequent injuries were sever and unfortunately, fatal. Three days later he would be given his last rites. His last words were reportedly, "Thy will be done ya fuckin' wanker."
|Feb 10th, 2011 11:50 PM|
|Fathom Zero||I stooped over to kiss her wound, but she kicked me hard. Even from the ground, she packed a lot of force. "I'm hurt, you ass," said she so eloquently. Against her wishes, I helped her to her feet and embraced her. "You gotta be careful babe. This is the big city. Cars kick up gravel all the time." We walked a ways down the sidewalk, she admiring the buildings and I her when a sleeping taxi cab suddenly lurched forward through an ancient green light, sending a rock sailing into the back of my head. She stooped over to kiss my wound as I sat on the curb, but I pulled her on top of me instead.|
|Feb 10th, 2011 11:29 PM|
|Big McLargehuge||I shift uncomfortably in the hospital chair. Even though it is three a.m. and most of the patients are sleeping you can still hear nurses gossiping at their station. This and the sounds of the machines keeping my father alive make for fitful sleep. I listen to the respirator hissing. Watch the spinning of the portable dialysis machine draining, cleaning and replacing my fathers blood. Half in dream half out I see a figure crouching on my father's chest, whispering to him.|
|Feb 5th, 2011 02:41 AM|
|Grislygus||Tommy was playing with his car toys when his mommy walked in. Whee-oo, whee-oo, went the fire truck. His father, sitting in a chair, didn't look up from his magazine. Tommy's mommy looked at her husband for a long time, before asking him if he was going to be home tonight. She was ignored. Disgusted, she left the room. Tommy's father still kept reading his magazine. Vroom vroom, went the race car.|
|Feb 5th, 2011 02:33 AM|
|Grislygus||"Daddy, where do babies come from?" Tommy asked. "Well," said his father, "when a senior in high school feels like he loves some goddamn whore slut that he knows nothing about, and TRUSTS HER, mistakes happen."|
|Feb 3rd, 2011 12:08 PM|
|Tadao||Just wait for my new tv show. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN WRITE!|
|Feb 3rd, 2011 08:18 AM|
|Zhukov||"And we now know that Ms. Marmalene could not possibly be the murderer, or rather, she most certainly does not fit my view of the murder, and I will shortly explain why". The Detective took several small steps towards the aforementioned lady, who was beginning to blush and look away. "Charles, what are you rambling about man?" The Duke, who had also began to feel overwhelmed, spluttered out from across the room. While The Detective bent in close to Ms. Marmalene's heaving chest, to deliver his final blow, gasps were heard from around the dining hall. "Ms. Marmalene could not possibly have been the murderer, because at the time she was rogering the Duke up the arse with a broom! LOL!". "Err... no..." The Duke managed.|
|Feb 3rd, 2011 08:06 AM|
|Zhukov||I didn't see your last entries King Hadas. THEY'RE AWESOME DUDE.|
|Feb 3rd, 2011 02:29 AM|
I need to thank Tadao for starting this thread. I really like it.
"Life sure is bleak."
"I don't agree with that," Todd declares passionately to the cracked yellow wallpaper in his one room apartment as the repo man, very slowly, carries his dog Beefers away to the Wellness Dog Food dog food factory. "I didn't even know he could make dog food." Todd moans, pausing for comedic effect. "And I've been paying for it this whole time!" he cries while slapping his forehead. Then, crossing his eyes, he falls to the floor and starts running around in a circle going "Wheeew whew whew whew." He wasn't fooling anyone though, and Beefers was deeply offended.
|Oct 28th, 2010 11:58 AM|
|Shadowdancer21b||The dawn revealed the remains of Private Dominguez scattered around a small crater. Sergeant Rittiphon shook his head and retrieved a boot. "This is going to be a Hell of a report." He cursed as he slipped on piece of Dominguez.|
|Oct 27th, 2010 07:34 PM|
|King Hadas||Whirling winds of 120 mph tore out all of the mailboxes on my route. An inverted drill custom built by that mad bitch mother nature sang in the distance. I could see them, spinning in that cyclone like black hammers flailing ludicrously to fulfill postal services obviously out of order. "Through rain or sleet," I said, jaws clenched.|
|Oct 27th, 2010 07:30 PM|
|King Hadas||My thighs are thick like fire hoses engorged with the blood of tigers. These tight shorts keep them well seen. My leisurely strut only makes their dynamism even more disconcerting. I could easily overtake my target and fuck it full of mail, but it's a nice day. No hurry.|
|Oct 27th, 2010 06:56 PM|
|King Hadas||The man wanted his mail fast! Express. Expedient. Over-Night Delivery! No worries, I'd developed the fastest mail around. Font-size number one, printed in braille across the side of a 9mm bullet. He begged me for snail mail then. "Shut up," I said, "and pay attention because...the mail always goes through."|
|Sep 17th, 2010 12:16 PM|
|Sep 17th, 2010 07:24 AM|
|Sep 17th, 2010 05:54 AM|
Tell us more about this porn of which you speak
|Sep 16th, 2010 06:09 AM|
|Sacks||..the place smelled like licorice and Walnettos, but the sweets had gone stale. I was sweating bullets as I walked into the kitchen. She'd got the drop on me, all 2 barrels of it. I pulled my rod ducked behind the avocado refrigerator. "So this is it" I thought, "It's me or GramGrams."|
|Sep 12th, 2010 09:59 PM|
|wizbenny||He sat at his computer, reading a request to write a one paragraph story on one of the forums he visits often. As a professional writer, he thinks to himself that he can really do something to knock everyone's socks off. Then he realizes that he won't be paid for his efforts and decides to go watch some Internet porn instead.|
|Sep 11th, 2010 10:30 PM|
He knelt in the cool earth, his breath shaky and fogging in the air before him. His hands are steady as he brushes the loose earth away. There! A dull glint in the early dawn light. The mine's fuse was loose, and easy to remove. "Amateurs have no place in the demo game." he grunted to himself before digging it free. He barely had time to see the pressure prong as earth slipped free.
|Sep 11th, 2010 11:46 AM|
|captain516||The curtain lifts, and we go into action again. It's funny, I don't get that feeling in my throat right before it happens anymore. The people in the audience have become invisible to me. Maybe it's in light of what happened. I don't know how Joe feels, but I bet he's the same. As for the new guy..fuck what he thinks. He's just here so that the public doesn't suspect anything's wrong. It's not his fault he's preforming with us right now, and he certainly had nothing to do with "the accident. Still, I hate him already. Richard insisted we continue the show, and knowing him, he'll force us to continue preforming with this kid. These costumes make us all look the same, so no will ever guess. To his credit though, Richard kept his head and managed to find a third guy before intermission ended.|
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