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Apr 7th, 2006 09:57 AM
mburbank "The website you have requested has been cancelled."
-Catholic Samurai
Apr 6th, 2006 10:36 PM
VinceZeb
Quote:
Originally Posted by mburbank
That was funny.



If you are a paid professional comedian, more power to you. AND I applaud your ability to keep business and pleasure separate. I'm just noit sure which is which. But don't be disapointed in me. We're both here gratis, and I'm pretty sure you've never once been the least little bit funny. By your own admission, I rarely make you laugh anymore, which means they used to make you laugh.

If you pay me, I promise to make more of an effort to make you personally laugh. It would be a challenge.
Pose naked. It would give you the biggest laugh you would ever get.
Apr 6th, 2006 12:52 PM
kahljorn My guess is that he's the type who really enjoys a good penis joke.
Apr 6th, 2006 09:08 AM
mburbank That was funny.



If you are a paid professional comedian, more power to you. AND I applaud your ability to keep business and pleasure separate. I'm just noit sure which is which. But don't be disapointed in me. We're both here gratis, and I'm pretty sure you've never once been the least little bit funny. By your own admission, I rarely make you laugh anymore, which means they used to make you laugh.

If you pay me, I promise to make more of an effort to make you personally laugh. It would be a challenge.
Apr 5th, 2006 07:58 PM
Abcdxxxx I meant I'm just funny looking.
Apr 5th, 2006 07:20 PM
Dr. Boogie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abcdxxxx
I was reading your deep analysis ...and then I got distracted when the mailman arrived with a check from Comedy Central. It was adressed to Funny. There's another one on the way from Cartoon Network for a script polish on a friends show. I get by.
:submarineletter

Seriously, though, what did you mean when you said that the check was addressed to Funny? I mean, I got that you were trying to prove that people will pay you for the sense of humor that you'd rather not show us, but what did you mean by the letter being addressed to Funny? Were you implying that "funny" is your middle name? Were you trying to say, in a jocular fashion of course, that you are the personification of Funny?
Apr 5th, 2006 05:46 PM
sspadowsky Listening to you explain a joke is like listening to a six year-old try to explain the laws of thermodynamics.
Apr 5th, 2006 05:07 PM
Abcdxxxx I was reading your deep analysis ...and then I got distracted when the mailman arrived with a check from Comedy Central. It was adressed to Funny. There's another one on the way from Cartoon Network for a script polish on a friends show. I get by.

Uh, and Ziggy, while we're all in anylsis joke breakdown mode - I was insinuating Burbank posts to these forums like it's his fucking job. His posts rarely make me laugh anymore, and I feel ripped off. Maybe he should stick to singing showtunes at super clubs.
Apr 5th, 2006 03:56 PM
mburbank What was 'kinda what you were thinking'? That I have a decent resume? That I can't support myself on comedy alone? That I'm not famous? Most people out of the toddler years don't expect other people to know what tey mean if they don't express it. I don't now what you mean.

I'll guess you meant Ziggy's post, which he actually did mean to be funny. You saying it's what yopu meant, and taking it seriously would be stupid. You trying to be funny by pretending to take it seriously would be a muddy, unfunny non responce.

I was answering your question, with no attempt at humor. Would you ahve been btter pleaed if you'd asked where I'd wroked and I said "Up your mother's ass, and if I had it to do over I wouldn't bother with the overtime?"

I'm establishing my bona fides, looney boy. If I was a plumber I'd be in a position to tell you not to wash coffee grounds down your drain. As a comedian, I'm advising you to stay away from humor. People have no idea what you're talking about. That's generally a bad sign if you're trying to be funny.
Apr 5th, 2006 03:41 PM
Chojin "i remember when i first got paid to mock" -BAPE
Apr 5th, 2006 03:38 PM
ziggytrix "your work here at the i-mockery forums"

You really ARE unaware that this website consists of more than just the forums!
Apr 5th, 2006 03:34 PM
Abcdxxxx That's kinda what I was thinking. I totally handed it to him on a silver platter too. good for you though. no wonder your work here at the i-mockery forums is suffering. tell you what, i'll find my sanity once you retrace your steps and locate where you left your funny bones. i wasn't the first to make a "dude you used to be funny" post. you might want to start in your therapists office, right under his perscription notepad. it sounds like you have pills on the brain.

(Okay, i'll admit it, i did laugh a little at Don't tell Mamas)
Apr 5th, 2006 11:24 AM
ziggytrix That wsn't very funny Max. If you were a REAL professional, that would have been a funnier reply.
Apr 5th, 2006 09:55 AM
mburbank Well, lets see now.

Colleges and clubs up and down the east coast from Maine to key West.

Horse Trade theater , Don't tell Mamas, Boston comedy club, all theaters in Greenwich village.

National Lampoon

A nationally circulating filthy magazine which will remain unmentioned

The Boston Museum of Science (freelance writing work, not my usual job)

Jimmy Tingle, Wendy Liebman, (Well nown comdians) Sam Seigel (radio personality for air America)

Emerson college

And of course, I-mockery (the web site, not the forum) which is now a professional paying market.

A lot of other people and organizations have paid for my comedy and comedy expertise, but I only mentioned the things there was a chance you'd have heard of. I don't expect you to have heard of all of these either, but these are the lead on my resume.

I don't make enough to support a family on, (mortgage, health insurance, car payments, etc.) so it's in addiition to my steady full time job, but I did live of the income when I wa single. And things have ben pretty good the last couple of years, netting me more than $10,000.00 each year.
Apr 4th, 2006 06:09 PM
Abcdxxxx who paid you?
Apr 4th, 2006 05:39 PM
mburbank I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I have a Lionel Richie in my ear.

"If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them. "

They don't, and I won't.

My point is, you don't know crap about how to be funny. As someone who regularly gets paid to be funny, I feel qualified to tell you, you aren't.
Apr 4th, 2006 03:31 PM
Abcdxxxx naw, i care even less then you do.

short of including a braille version for the legally blind, i've gone out of my way in this thread to explain, and re-explain so a two year old could follow along.
Apr 4th, 2006 03:22 PM
ziggytrix I don't have the time to dig thru this forum to look for the post you guys are referring to, why don't you do it instead.
Apr 4th, 2006 03:18 PM
Abcdxxxx
Quote:
Not when you are talking about ethnicity - it's either disingenuous or incredibly misleading.
go on...what did i say to mislead you?
Apr 4th, 2006 03:01 PM
ziggytrix
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abcdxxxx
I know you think you're being some semantic hot shot, but it's completely proper to reference an Iraqi Jew as simply an Iraqi ... so what's you point?
Not when you are talking about ethnicity - it's either disingenuous or incredibly misleading.

As for Max's funny, your sense of humor is so fucking stunted, I'm not suprised you think he isn't funny. But have you seen any of i-mockery.com or even the other boards on this forum? Not that I'd really care to see you trashing them up with your presence, but I'm wondering if you'd find anything there funny, and am morbidly curious as to what that might be.
Apr 4th, 2006 02:57 PM
Abcdxxxx thanks for caring, now work on the sharing.
Apr 4th, 2006 02:51 PM
sspadowsky You're a judge of funny? If you can explain that garbled mess of "Lionel Richie" spew, I'll call you funny, and give you five bucks, too.

Nope, wait:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 100% Jewish
If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them.
Jeez, you're like the blind leading the one-eyed pig with a silk purse.
Apr 4th, 2006 02:42 PM
Abcdxxxx
Quote:
Originally Posted by mburbank
Tell you what. If I promise not to post anything about Israel, will you leave the jokes to people who can make them?
Deal....now we've just got to find someone who can make jokes. The closest thing we had to a joke monkey started taking himself seriously. Then there's that problem where you're even less informed then you are funny. If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them.

You can talk about Israel all you want though.
Apr 4th, 2006 10:03 AM
mburbank That 'biting' line? As close to funny as you've come so far, and it was petty pedestrian. The Lionel Richie thing? You might as well use a random word generator.

Tell you what. If I promise not to post anything about Israel, will you leave the jokes to people who can make them?

And waht Sspad and I have is a beautiful thing you will never understand that goes way beyond the question of teeth in or out.
Apr 4th, 2006 04:54 AM
kahljorn
a

This is the funniest thread I've read on here for a while guys, keep up the good work
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