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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Jul 7th, 2003 12:38 PM | ||
| Protoclown |
Maybe "Yahweh" was already taken. And I was just thinking how cool it would be if the voice of God was Megatron instead of Metatron 
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| Jul 7th, 2003 11:18 AM | ||
| Yaweh |
Yes it is. Also, 'definately' and 'robit'. Love, God |
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| Jul 7th, 2003 11:06 AM | ||
| FS |
Quote:
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| Jul 7th, 2003 11:02 AM | ||
| kellychaos |
Quote:
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| Jul 7th, 2003 10:13 AM | ||
| pjalne | I think it maybe just is his board nick. | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 09:58 AM | ||
| Helm | Yaweh, who should be I think Yahweh should not double post. Thank you. | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 09:52 AM | ||
| Yaweh |
Double post. I'm infallible, so there's probably something wrong with the board. Better look into it, Rog. Is it infallable, by the way? Love, God |
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| Jul 7th, 2003 09:51 AM | ||
| Yaweh |
Yeah, Vince, stop being a jackass. Love, God. |
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| Jul 7th, 2003 09:40 AM | ||
| pjalne |
I'm not really sure, it may be B.1. Hard to tell. Vince, how can you say that a post regarding your very life philosophy has no bearing in your life', while you actually spend hours tracking down stupid reports about European methane exhaust and then bitch for days about how this makes Europe stupid? |
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| Jul 7th, 2003 09:31 AM | ||
| kellychaos | Vinth is an internet troll program. | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 09:05 AM | ||
| Helm | Yup it's B6 alright. | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 09:01 AM | ||
| VinceZeb | I dont feel like devoting the time and patience to answer a question that has no bearing in my life whatsoever. | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 08:49 AM | ||
| pjalne |
B.6, then? Honestly, do you think ANYONE on this board doesn't see that you have no idea whatsoever how to get your ass out of the pickle jar? |
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| Jul 7th, 2003 08:03 AM | ||
| VinceZeb | Maybe if I thought you were important enough to answer, then I would answer your question | |
| Jul 7th, 2003 03:40 AM | ||
| pjalne |
All right, B.7 it is. Sorry about the hijack, people. |
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| Jul 5th, 2003 06:57 AM | ||
| pjalne | What's the matter, Vince? Crap got your tongue? I see you keep posting in other threads, maybe you've overlooked this one? Let me bump it for you. Also note that I've added more answer alternatives for you. | |
| Jul 5th, 2003 03:03 AM | ||
| Yaweh |
To my dear child Vincent Zebediah Since I am an abstract concept, I am appearing to you in a form you can comprehend: a submarine letter. Or rather, a submarine post. I would normally send My trusty Metatron, but this being the general staff holiday he's unavailable, and after all the criticism directed towards the film Contact, I no longer appear in the form of one of your loved ones. Boy, did I get to hear it from Raguel after the premiere of that one. He's a good Vengeance, but sometimes he just doesn't get when a joke is worn out. Anyhoo, it has been brought to My attention that this I-Mockery board has just been swept clean with your hiney. I would like to remind you that a good Christian will always be humble and admit his mistakes. It's in the Bible, you know. Lying will not help you in this case, neither does it seem to have helped you in the past: I browsed through the old threads to do some background research, and let Me just say pew-eeeee, the smell of hogwash blows all the way to Mount Ararat and back. I would like to refer to one of My own commandments. I'd tell you which page in the Bible it's from, but My copy is in Hebrew as well as abstract and I don't think the page number is the same in the King James version. Anyway, it goes like this: 'Thou shalt not lie.' I would also like to point out that telling people that you were given a so-called hand job by a prostitute does not give you cred points neither in heaven nor on this board. I didn't bother to read through all the board guidelines (that thing is freaking long, pardon My French), but I'm pretty sure. Furthermore, I would like to point out that when Junior said 'Love thy neighbor' (or did I say that? It's been a couple of thousand years), he did not mean you should try to 'love' your actual neighbor Janice. This is just a way of saying that everyone is equal and that you should treat everyone with love and respect, including those now-dead Iraqi children you said you didn't care about as long as the WMDs were found. You know, those you lied about caring about when you tried to convince Proto the attack on Iraq was a good thing. And by the way, I checked with My God Vision, and the 'WMD's were just some cosmic dirt on the satellite lens. I tried to tell W about this, but he just said 'Dirt schmirt, those look a-ok to me. Say, could you give me one of those things you stand on and they drive forward? The Greecian president has one.' He should be more careful what he asks for  What I'm getting at is this: now is your chance to shape up. Admit you're a terrible Christian and get a fresh start. And when I say 'terrible Christian', I don't mean like those altar boy raping priests. Those are terrible PEOPLE. With 'terrible Christian', I mean that you suck at being one. So seize this opportunity with both hands, my child. And what's the deal with Christians having special magical willpower? Sheesh, give - me - a - break. Your loving Father in Heaven, God/Yaweh Po.box 777 Heaven PS. Please stop telling people they're going to hell. That's my job. I don't tell you how to be an inflated windbag, you don't tell me how to be the final judge. PPS. Please tell Rog to stop praying for the Mermen to become a real-life race. I'm no Lucas, THIS is the definitive version of Creation. Plus, Mattel would sue My sorry Ass PPPS. How many posts do you need to get those titles under your name? PPPPS. OMG your'e avatur sux lol (Sorry, Noah said I should try to fit in. Am I 'teh secks' yet?) |
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| Jul 4th, 2003 10:31 AM | ||
| Protoclown | Ooooh, now that's just good. | |
| Jul 4th, 2003 06:10 AM | ||
| pjalne |
VINCE I want to ask you a couple of questions here and I'll be as clear as possible. You recently defined a good Christian. Not only is there nothing in the Bible or, as far as I know, in the Catholic dogma that backs up your definition of a Christian, this definition also sounds more like a breed of atomic supermen than anything else. I would like to know how you can criticize everyone else and sentence them to hell for not literally following the Bible while you yourself have redefined the Bible until it no longer resembles anything from the belief system you claim to be a part of. Furthermore, I want to ask you why you were compelled to define a good Christian as everything you are not. I will, as I have said before, give you that you have willpower, but so does Saddam. Willpower is not a genetic trait exclusive to Christians. You also say that Christians are intelligent and tactful. These, again, are not traits exclusive to Christians, and they also are attributes that do not in any way apply to yourself. I could go on forever and still not convince you you are a moron, but even you have to see that you have no tact. You are in fact the very embodyment of tactlessness. You blurt out a constant firework of ignorant insults and unfounded and highly inaccuratre accusations. To make this easy for you, I have condensed the paragraphs above to simple questions: 1: Why are you in a position to redefine the meaning of the word 'Christian'? 2: Why would you define a good Christian as the opposite of yourself? I think these are reasonable questions, and I ask you to answer them as well as you can. I have tried to make everything crystal clear, but if you feel I'm being vague anywhere please do not hesitate to ask me to explain further. To make this even easier for you, I will also list the two possible directions you can take when answering: A: Crushing my points with though-out and well-founded arguments. B: Admitting you were wrong. To make this EVEN EASIER STILL, I will now list other directions you can take. I will accept any as the following as forms of alternative B: B.1: Calling me names. B.2: Telling me to go fuck myself. B.3: Telling me to come fuck you. B.4: Writing a sentence that is not a sentence at all, hoping everyone will give you the benefit of doubt. B.5: Giving answers that completely fail to apply to the original questions. B.6: Telling me you've got better things to do than hanging around with losers and then go ahead and post vomit in 40 other threads. B.7: Refraining from answering at all. What do you say? EDIT: I would like to add that if you should admit the stupidity in your outburst, there will be no victory dance. The only thing that will come from me in this hypothetical scenario is a teensy weensy bit of respect. I'm sure you wouldn't give a fuck about the respect of anyone on this board, but that's all I have to offer. |
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| Jul 3rd, 2003 09:57 PM | ||
| CaptainBubba |
I made this comic a little more than a week ago. Everything we come up with that involves the metaphysical world might as well be random. It holds absolutley no meaning in the context of a world with infinite possible scenarios which none of us have ANY IDEA AT ALL about. Thats basically what my comic sums up. If you feel the same way I do it might even be humorous.
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| Jul 3rd, 2003 09:57 PM | ||
| kahljorn |
"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." That's not condemning, condemning=bad things. I read that whole chapter while I was at it, in olde english no less. I never realized how much they all Lithped back in the olde days. And they say the World has gone gay.. |
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| Jul 3rd, 2003 09:49 PM | ||
| chrissi |
Quote:
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| Jul 3rd, 2003 08:56 PM | ||
| WorthlessLiar |
the verse John 14:6 |
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| Jul 3rd, 2003 08:51 PM | ||
| kahljorn | When does he condemn the non-believers? Book, Chapter, verse? | |
| Jul 3rd, 2003 05:10 PM | ||
| WorthlessLiar |
re: zero Zero, just had to comment on some things you said including the response to my post a few pages back. Meant to do it sooner. In fact, many of the things that they do are in direct violation of the Bible. How quaint. Who said the sum teachings of the Bible are good? No one can really agree on the real message. Are we supposed to listen to Jesus when he says to love others as he loved the world, or when he condemns non-believers? There is no conisistent ideology that can be fitted to the Bible. That's why only hypocritical pragmatists like Vinth can follow it literally. Earlier you remarked that violence on behalf of religion is man's fault. I think you do have a point here, man is ultimately responsible for his actions. However, you must admit that the circumstances in the instance I provided are somewhat different than the usual "why do bad things happen" argument. While most wars are the result of man's own failings the crusades and similar events, although perpetuated by man, would not have been possible without JC's words. |
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